THE HEALTHY DIET FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE

STORY: SEAN CORT

With all the typical stressors on the average adult, maintaining a healthy body is only half of the challenge and obligation we face today. Marriages in this country are under what is seemingly a systematic attack that comes from all areas in life. Marriages take on the stress of the economy by way of under- and unemployment, growing parental obligations, personal apathy, spiritual dissatisfaction, and temptation.

Marriage is the only commitment we make to another person for life. Just as our bodies require good treatment and regular attention, so should our marriage. Here are some clear and personally challenging aspects of care that can greatly compliment this commitment and lifelong partnership.

This is the most important part of any healthy partnership. Some prefer love as number one, but I respectfully submit that love is an emotion. Emotions can change from moment to moment. But clear communication is a nonnegotiable. If you keep your partner guessing and in the dark, you open the door for a battery of questions and suspicions to sneak in the back door of your relationship. Lack of communication is as frustrating as trying to operate a life-saving defibrillator with instructions in a foreign language. Share what’s going on in your heart in the same kind and respectful manner you wish your spouse would share with you.

Honesty

Truth has a way of healing its own wounds. Don’t just expect honesty — give honesty. Don’t just want honesty — accept honesty. As the quote made famous by Jack Nicholson states, most of us “can’t handle the truth.” Always welcome the truth from your spouse without retaliation; otherwise prepare to live with a lie. By learning to embrace the truth about yourself, your spouse, and your marriage — you will never be betrayed or surprised.

Forgive

Choosing not to forgive is like drinking poison and expect- ing the other person to die. Resentment and unforgiveness are toxins that can slowly kill you and your marriage. The ultimate show of love is forgiveness. Do it quickly and unconditionally. In order to move forward you may have to forgive even if an apology was not offered. Despite your spiritual orientation, forgiveness is at the core of your ultimate fulfillment.

Patience

It comes in all forms. Sometimes patience is shown in a smile and a tender touch when you really want to yell and accuse. Patience is a virtue we must also show not only our spouse, but also ourselves. There may be times when you want your partner to “cut to the chase” and there is no chase. Instead there may just be a slow carriage ride in the country. It’s your spouse’s marriage, too, and your spouse deserves to feel that way.

Love

Why love last on the list, you ask? Love is actually displayed in the first four items, but with strategic specificity. The best kind of love is the type you grow into and stretch to fit two people comfortably. True love tastes best when savored slowly over a period of time. Love is wonderful at first, but truly appreciated when it lasts.