RESOLVE TO NOT RESOLVE

You can’t reach your New Year’s destination if you don’t have a starting point

WRITER: SCOTT PERKINS

Another new year is upon us.

Sometime in the last few weeks you have likely looked to the next year and made a resolution, or a goal, or thought about how you would like things to be different in the coming 12 months. We have the tendency to fall into the trap of viewing the new year as a fresh start or a clean slate.

This is a situation when our cyclic view of time works against us. The abundance of made-up statistics about how long it is before people break their resolutions belies a cultural truth: Overwhelmingly, we do not keep the promises to ourselves we make on the evening of Dec. 31.

If we did, we’d be a nation of rock-hard abs, no debt and low stress.

I’m not trying to be a killjoy, but the truth is, we wake up the morning of Jan. 1 and realize the slate is not clean. We are still overweight, craving carbs and having no time for the gym. Or we are even more in debt because we used the credit card to fund the party we threw

To be successful, we need more than a picture of where we want to go, though that is a must. We also need a truthful picture of where we are. Think Google maps: When you want directions, you also have to input an origin. It takes both pieces of information to create meaningful directions.

An exercise to help would be to write at the bottom of a piece of paper what your resolution or goal in an area of your life is, and at the top write where you are at present. Then, in between, you have plenty of space to, write the steps you will take to reach your destination.

Six-pack abs and living debtfree do not happen in one big step. Thinking smaller will help you succeed.

Another element of success is to change the way you handle setbacks. Stumbling is an opportunity to evaluate and learn. OK, we can agree the chocolate bar you ate wasn’t part of the weight-loss strategy. How can you avoid that next time? Did you eat that for comfort? What could you substitute for chocolate for comfort? A walk, maybe? It takes diligence to think differently; you have probably been doing it the same way for a long time.

Also, plan celebrations. Since there are a lot of little steps to reaching a larger goal, there are a lot of opportunities to celebrate. Mark the moments. It can be as easy as calling a friend when you’ve run your first mile, or writing a note to your spouse when you’ve overcome your first conflict without a nuclear meltdown.

Rather than a resolution this year, think differently about what you want this year. It will make all the difference in your level of success.