SPIRIT DIRECT

LET YOUR ‘YES’ MEAN ‘YES’

DISCIPLINE AND LOVE SHOULD GO HAND IN HAND

WRITER: DAVE BRABHAM JR.

Ibelieve with all my heart discipline is one the hardest issues parents face. We live in a world in which many “experts” believe we should allow our kids to shape their own character. If parents are too hard on their children, the theory goes they may keep them from becoming who they want to be.

Discipline has been given a bad name because of abusive parents and we live in a society filled with parents afraid to raise their children. The result? Children are not given any guidance or structure when they not only need these things, they want them.

As parents we must first understand that we have been given a responsibility from God to raise our children His way.

A parent has a great ministry. In fact, it is parents’ first ministry. The Bible is full of examples that will strengthen us all as “ministers to our children.” Several passages provide clear instructions on parenting. From these verses I would like to give you some simple tips in discipline I believe will bring life-changing truth in how you relate to your kids.

So-called experts may insist children should be allowed to find their own way, without a parent’s discipline. I disagree. And so does God’s word. And His way is always the best way.

1. DISCIPLINE YOUR KIDS OUT OF LOVE. Biblical discipline is an act of love, not frustration or anger. The Bible says to “… be angry and sin not!” Never let discipline come out of anger. Whatever method you use, take action out of love. Choosing to not discipline is another form of abuse. It is neglect. The Bible says: “A refusal to correct is a refusal to love; love your children by disciplining them.”

2. CONSISTENCY IS THE KEY. We must learn to be consistent in discipline. If you tell little Johnny there will be no television tonight because he did not listen but you change your mind, you are sending the wrong message. The Bible says, “Let your yes be yes, and your no be no. Always mean what you say. Always follow through.

3. KEEP YOUR KIDS ON THE RIGHT PATH. Children who are always corrected or punished but never encouraged often become frustrated and begin to think they are unable to please their parents. Give your children 100 times as many hugs and kisses as you give punishment. The key is to be loving in correction. The Bible says, “A youngster’s heart is filled with foolishness, but physical discipline will drive it far away.”

4. SET UP YOUR KIDS FOR SUCCESS. Being a firm disciplinarian is hard, but parents who provide loving discipline set up their children for success. Discipline prepares our kids for real life. Have you ever been around an “unruly child” in a public place? My heart is always broken for the child, because he or she grows up with no direction, and it is not the child’s fault. That child is being set up for failure.

5. HAVE A HEALTHY AND HAPPY FAMILY. The Bible says “discipline your children and they will give you peace of mind and will make your heart glad.” The duty of the parent is no easy task. Sometimes we can know we’ve done everything right and still our children don’t seem to get it. But God has a “blueprint” for us to follow in parenting and he is true to his word.