POWERFUL STRATEGIES TO CONTROL YOUR ANGER

With the right help, you can control anger.

WRITER: AUSTIN G. HACKNEY

It’s normal to feel angry. It even can be a healthy response to a situation. But if you find your anger gets out of control, then it’s time to rein it in.

If you’re “seeing red,” and your anger is leading you to do and say things you regret, strategies approved by psychotherapists can help you get back in control.

Anger is never an excuse for behaving unfairly toward others. You have a responsibility to learn self-control. The following strategies will help.

Recognize the physical signs of anger

Anger isn’t just a mental state. It triggers powerful physical responses. Learn to recognize these signals as early as possible so you can calm down and rationalize your thoughts before it’s too late.

Physical signals of anger include increased heart rate, fast breathing, and trembling. People often grind their teeth, pace up and down, or clench their fists when angry. If you know you are losing control and start experiencing these effects, remove yourself from the situation that provoked the response until you are calmer.

Count to 10 and control your breathing

It’s almost a cliché, but the reason for the technique of counting to 10 is it works. It interrupts the immediate reaction and gives you time to reflect on your response. If you take 10 slow, deep breaths as you count, you’ll feel more relaxed and in control. If you tend to “fly off the handle” or lash out when you’re angry, this simple technique can help break the pattern.

Long-term anger management

Learning to recognize when you’re getting angry and how to regain control is important. But it is crucial to have a strategy that will help you overcome exaggerated or inappropriate bursts of anger. Exercise, self-care, creativity, and counseling can help.

Exercise reduces stress

Studies show that people who exercise experience less anger than people who live sedentary lives. It’s a great idea to take up a sport or get to the gym twice a week. Running, swimming, and lifting weights are good ways to spend excess energy and calm yourself.

Look after yourself

People who have issues with anger should avoid alcohol and recreational drugs as they lower inhibitions, which is the opposite of what you need. Find other ways to relax and socialize, and be sure to get plenty of sleep. If you’re tired, you’ll be irritable and less in control.

Take part in creative activities

Anger often comes out of frustration and a feeling you can’t communicate. Taking up a creative hobby such as music, art, or dance can help release those feelings. Creative activities also help you reflect on your thoughts and feelings, making you less likely to react to something that angers you.

Counseling

Keeping your feelings bottled up is a sure way to lose control sooner or later. Holding on to resentments and angry thoughts, repeating them to yourself, and feeling negative can lead to a build-up of “emotional pressure.” With all that locked inside you, it may take only a small provocation to send you “flying off the handle.”

If you have friends you can confide in, discuss issues that concern you with them. Many people find a counselor or therapist helps them rationalize thoughts and feelings. If you don’t like talking to someone face-to-face, there are many helpful online forums to discuss your feelings and stay anonymous. Whether with friends, a counselor, or on a forum, talking things over will help you understand yourself and give you a clearer perspective on how you feel.

See your doctor

If you feel you can’t control your anger alone and need support, see your doctor.

Your doctor may recommend anger management programs, including counseling and psychotherapy, that are available. These may be one-onone sessions or groups. Your doctor also will be able to refer you to social support if anger is creating problems for your family.

Uncontrolled anger is a destructive force. If you have difficulty controlling your anger and it leads to aggressive behavior, it’s never too late to regain control. A combination of the techniques explained here and professional support may be needed depending on the severity of your problem. But never put it off, as the longer you wait to tackle the issue, the more difficult it becomes.