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For mourners, there’s life after death.
Story: James Combs Photo: Anthony RaoDealing with the death of a loved one brings intense, indescribable pain.
But Chareece Hall equips mourners with a powerful weapon. She gives them permission to grieve, which is an effective, healthy response to loss.
“Losing a loved one is one of life’s greatest challenges,” she says. “However, you’re never alone in death.”
As a licensed therapist and bereavement counselor for Cornerstone Hospice and Palliative Care in Tavares, Chareece takes mourners on a journey from grief to hope. She offers individual counseling and leads therapeutic bereavement support groups, guiding the way to healing for those who initially feel their loss is too painful to bear.
Most clients seek her services for anywhere from two weeks to a month after the loss of a loved one. That’s typically when the outpouring of support—in-home visits and sympathetic phone calls— begins to wane.
“At that point, their thoughts go back to the circumstances surrounding the death of a loved one,” says Chareece, who earned a master’s degree in mental health counseling and psychology from Troy University in 1999. “Their thoughts can become overwhelming.”
Having provided professional grief support services for Cornerstone since 2005, Chareece has seen mourners enveloped by many emotions, ranging from guilt and frustration to shock and confusion. Some are plagued by persistent thoughts about what could
have been done to prevent the death. Others suppress their feelings.
“I want clients to release their feelings during the grieving process,” she says. “It clears out space so we can pour in more hope and light.”
Support group settings are particularly helpful in allowing grievers to share their feelings. While close friends won’t always grasp the difficulty of losing a loved one, those in a support group are all coping with a loss. Thus, participants have an opportunity to receive valuable advice and give it, as well.
“They’re all in the same boat, and it’s better than being in a boat alone,” Chareece says.
Cornerstone offers other grief programs, such as camping experiences for teenagers and a social group for adults who enjoy monthly outings. All services are free and open to everyone in the community.
“The goal is to help them find joy in life again, because that is what their loved ones would want,” Chareece says. “This is my mission and calling in life, and I love the people I counsel unconditionally.”
Speaker and philosopher Jim Rohn said, “It’s too bad we can’t hire someone else to do our push-ups.”
Exercise has always been a do-ityourself venture. No other person or machine can do it for you. That’s why it’s important to find personal motivating factors to exercise, lose weight, and stay with it.
Though this sounds easy, it’s not so easy to maintain. Here are a few ideas for everyone, especially the 35 percent of morbidly obese Americans, who have a hard time beginning.
Mindset and language must be conquered. If you think and say, “It’s going to be so hard,” guess what? It’s will be. If you think and say, “I have to eat and
exercise…aghhh,” you are defeated before you begin. One of my mentors always said, “You only have to until you want to. Then you don’t have to anymore.”
What will it take for you to eat right and exercise? Don’t be swayed by the simplicity of this concept: In one sentence say why you want to be healthy. Move beyond the obvious. Writing “I want to be healthy so I can be healthy” is not inspiring.
Writing one of the following is more apt to get you started and keep you going:
• I am attending my child’s wedding.
• I want to play with and watch my grandchildren grow up.
•
Here is an insider tip to know if you’re on the right path: when you are writing your “why,” if a tear comes to your eye, you are halfway there. If your “why” does not evoke an emotional response, you probably won’t start or keep going. Keep writing until you are moved, or you’ll never move off the couch.
In the past 50 to 75 years, physical activity became the exception rather than the rule. We drive instead of walking. It’s easier to flick a switch and let machines do the hauling, lifting, pushing, and pulling.
There are ways to release many pounds. Notice I used the word “release” rather than “lose.” Human nature dictates if we “lose” something, we want to find it again. Ever notice the large gains after weeks or months of hard work?
Here are a few ideas to get begin and keep moving:
A simple statement like “I want to lose some weight” is indefinite. It’s important to be precise with goals: “I am releasing 50 pounds by Sept. 1” is more powerful than “I’m going to lose a bunch of weight by the fall.”
Every day, envision yourself at the exact size you’ll be at your desired weight. Put a picture on your fridge of the end result: the slimmer you hugging your child or grandchild.
Strength of will does not work alone. To release weight and stay with it, there must be exercise and diet, and not just one or the other.
Motivate yourself by giving away clothes that are too big. This means you only have your smaller, “sexier” clothes
and must make a choice to continue exercising or not wear clothes at all. Which do you prefer?
Take actions that suit your lifestyle. Implement moves that benefit you, specific moves only you can do. Running a marathon may not be for you but walking once around your block can start an avalanche of change. The idea is setting positive, attainable goals, not just shying away from being chubby.
Find someone willing to note your progress and development while you help them. You’ll be inspired to keep doing what you started. Having somebody to listen to and share your achievements is a better way to move forward than achieving goals alone. Also, having an extra hand and heart to support you and cheer for you when
things fall a bit short is inspiring to stay on track. Someone who believes in you is one of the best motivations to keep you going for more.
What are you achieving this year? Match your objectives to your calendar and let go of the desire to see instantaneous results. Fifty pounds in a year is about 4 pounds a month or 1 pound a week. That is doable.
Staying motivated means hard work, which is contrary to what most people want. Make small changes in lifestyle that have dramatic and long-lasting effects on your future.
What’s your first step? When will you take it? What’s your next step? When will you take it? Start now and, hopefully, you’ll keep going because you want to, not because you have to. It is never too late to be fit and healthy.
Lao Tzu has a famous quote: “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” Let’s own that quote for ourselves: The journey of my ideal health begins with… one trip around my city block—today. saying “no” to one chocolate bar—now.
making a change in my portion sizes—now.
making a change in my carb intake—now.
ABOUT THE WRITER → Chloe Hung is an international actuarial consultant and the author of “Strength in Numbers: An In-Depth Look at Actuarial Science for Math Enthusiasts.”
Karen Trawick doesn’t have anything against “conventional” medicine— open-heart surgery saved her husband’s life. But she needed a different form of medicine to save her own life.
After she was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer at age 54 in February 2016, Karen decided against chemotherapy and radiation and instead researched holistic treatments. She switched to an organic, plantbased diet, and took supplements and IV treatments to boost her immune system. Within two months, she was taken off all medications for her various ailments. Within nine to 11 months, she lost 50 pounds and her cancer was in remission.
A plant-based diet is considered “stricter” than veganism, because vegans eat carbs, sugars, and oils, Karen says. After her diagnosis, she felt she had to go all in with plant-based foods.
“Was it too extreme? Cancer’s pretty extreme. That’s about as extreme as you can get,” Karen says. “I did think I needed to go extreme. It was my life.”
Karen didn’t stop at her diet. She wanted to help other people who were going through similar health challenges. While she was fighting cancer, the longtime chef gained certification as an integrative nutrition health coach. Last year, she and some partners opened a kitchen and meal planning service.
They recently celebrated the one-year anniversary of Get Back 2 Basics, 205 W. Washington St., Suite B, Minneola. Customers can dine in or carry out from 11am-7pm Tuesday-Saturday (352.348.1893). The business is so popular, she expects
to open another location in March at the new Montrose Street Market in downtown Clermont.
To Karen’s knowledge, Get Back 2 Basics is the only 100-percent plantbased, organic restaurant in South Lake County. She creates all of the menu items from vegetables and fruits with no animal, dairy, soy, sugar, or processed products, and limited use of oils. She uses fresh organic produce from Bountiful Farms in Okahumpka and other local sources. Organic means the food has been certified by the government as free of chemicals and pesticides.
Customer favorites include raw salads, quesadillas (spinach and mushroom), the Tex-Mex bowl (black beans, mushrooms, peppers, brown rice), the Buddha bowl (quinoa, chickpeas, greens), and the Beast Burger, a beets, veggies, and pea protein patty that customers say tastes just like a beef burger. And the portabella burger is a juicy burger-size mushroom cap with toppings that include a big tuft of sprouts.
The chili is chunky and tastes very good, even to a meat lover, maybe because “people swear there’s meat in my chili,” Karen says. “It’s amazing. You can’t tell the difference.”
She also makes non-dairy versions of “cheese” and even “bacon” bits from dehydrated pinto beans. Her queso,
which has a roasted garlic flavor, was perfected over eight months and can be used on burgers or as a dip for organic chips.
“It just tastes good, so if it tastes good and it’s giving you more benefits, why wouldn’t you try it and eat it?” she says of her dishes.
Karen also customizes orders based on dietary needs. Many customers are patients with cancer or other
illnesses—such as fibromyalgia, celiac disease, and kidney, liver, and autoimmune issues—who have been referred to Karen’s kitchen by their doctors.
But the biggest clientele is people who simply want to eat healthier. The veganism trend is exploding because people are starting to question where their food comes from, she says.
“My rule is, if you can’t pronounce it, don’t eat it,” Karen says. “If it has more than five ingredients, don’t eat it. If it’s made in a plant, like a manufacturing plant, don’t eat it. If it comes from a plant, eat it.”
Karen’s husband, David, is about 90 percent on board with plant-based
“My rule is, if you can’t pronounce it, don’t eat it. If it has more than five ingredients, don’t eat it. If it’s made in a plant, like a manufacturing plant, don’t eat it. If it comes from a plant, eat it.”
— Karen Tarwick