FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS

WRITER: SCOTT PERKINS, PERKINS PERSPECTIVE

All of the people I work with have some dream they are pursuing, to some degree, in their life. It may be a dream regarding a change of vocation or the pursuit of an interest. The dream may involve earning money or it may have a cost. There may be obstacles involved or the timing may not be just right.

The things we dream of come in all shapes and sizes and purposes. Dreams are the fruit of passion, and they keep us looking forward. You might just be thinking of yours right now.

A client of mine has a lifelong dream of owning a horse of his own. Riding makes him feel alive and also provides a forum to solidify his relationship with his family. Between sessions an opportunity to own a horse of his own arose, and because it was THE dream come true, he leapt at the chance.

Upon arriving at our next session, he was downcast. There were several problems with this horse; unexpected costs were mounting and it couldn’t be ridden in competition. Instead of the dream, he now felt stuck in the nightmare. What was worse is that the problems convinced him that the dream would never come true.

It took a couple sessions, but we moved through the actions and thoughts to recover from this detour and see it not as an end to the dream, but an opportunity to learn.

Here are some principles to following dreams that come from our conversations:

• Don’t allow decisions to be dictated by the dream. It takes a plan to make dreams happen. Yet, achieving the dream, no matter how good or beneficial, should not be the only consideration in decision-making. This tunnel vision will cause you to miss consequences in other areas of life that may be more pressing or life altering.

• Dreams should be flexible. A life well lived involves growth. Spiritually, emotionally, physically, and relationally we do not remain static. The dreams that we are pursuing –and the timeline on which they are sought – should be evaluated and change as your wisdom increases.

• The dream serves you so don’t let it consume you. A dream is a source of motivation—something that will add quality and value to your life and those around you. It may also give us a sense of purpose that makes each new day worth getting up for. When reaching for the dream turns into shame and questions of worth, it has taken an unhealthy position in your life.

• Pursuing the dream should not come at the expense of your values. If the dream you are pursuing is demanding that you sacrifice your sense of self and what is right and wrong, you have the wrong dream. Dreams should be consistent with our abilities, passions, and identities. What is your dream? How are you taking steps to make that dream a reality? What values keep your decisions in check?