THE SIXTH SENSE: ENTITLEMENT

5 Important Reasons to Let Go of Your Sense of Entitlement

Entitlement can be a touchy issue, surrounded by opinions that vary widely across generations and social classes. Defined as “the fact of having a right to something,” it is linked in psychology to sexism, narcissism, and personality disorder. Just as we are all selfcentered to a certain degree, we all experience a sense of entitlement to a degree. There is a way to deal with the problem, however, and not go overboard with the sense of entitlement.

1. It gets in the way of seeing what’s good right now.

When we feel entitled, we’re continually reminding ourselves what we deserve but still don’t have, whether it’s our dream job, the perfect romantic partner, a better relationship with family, or anything else. As a result, we can’t find any fulfillment in our current situation, even if we worked hard to get to where we are. Imagining that we will be rewarded with happiness in the future prevents us from realizing our potential to be happy in the present.

2. It’s toxic to relationships.

A sense of entitlement can give rise to resentment, bitterness, jealousy, and other feelings that frequently poison relationships. We often underestimate the importance of nonverbal communication, meaning even when it goes unsaid, friends, family members, spouses, and children easily pick up on the fact they are being blamed when the relationship isn’t living up to our expectations. When we rely on others, even partly, to create a sense of fulfillment in our lives, we tend to put unfair pressure on them, often causing them to feel we are pushing them away.

3. It forces you to find someone to blame.

In the movies, there are usually clearcut good and bad guys. In reality, it’s rarely, if ever, that simple. Maybe we blame our parents for putting us at a disadvantage with their lifestyle or choices. Maybe we blame our boss for overlooking our qualifications when it was time to promote someone. Maybe we blame society for its lack of empathy toward the individual. Whatever kind of fulfillment we seek, there is someone else we can blame other than ourselves. Unfortunately, doing so doesn’t help us achieve what we want. It actually makes it harder, which brings us to reason number four.

4. It destroys your motivation.

There are many ways to be successful. Some people measure success by the wealth they accumulate, while others do it by how well they discipline themselves. However, there is something almost all highly successful people have in common—the intense level of effort they exert to achieve that success. You might think feeling entitled would motivate you to obtain it, but the opposite is actually true. The more entitled you feel, the less effort we think is needed to be successful.

This leads to a discouraging cycle in which we neither feel successful nor motivated to pursue success and are psychologically disconnected from our real source of power—ourselves.

5. It can lead to depression.

When we feel something should have been given to us but wasn’t, we wonder what we did wrong that kept us from getting it. Negative thoughts such as these over a long period of time can turn into a battle for self-worth, and a constant struggle to feel good about anything. Many people seek a cure for depression without considering it may be a symptom of an underlying problem, such as the deep-seeded belief there are things in life we “deserve” to have.

Fortunately, there is an easy fix for those who think they may feel too entitled. It’s known as gratitude, and the more it is used, the faster the negative effects will fade away. A simple exercise in thankfulness doesn’t require much time or effort but has incredible benefits, such as healing relationships, teaching us to take responsibility for ourselves, restoring and improving motivation, and raising our level of happiness.