A Life Worth Living

A Life Worth Living By Andy and Tina Whitaker

Do you know the old saying, “You’re only as well as your sickest child”? That’s the way my wife, Tina, and I felt over the last few years as our son, Trey, struggled with his dual demons of alcohol and PTSD. But now we have become much more hopeful for him, thanks to AHERO and Warriors Heart.

Another saying that’s often true is, “It’s not what you know but who you know.” This is true of God and his divine oversight for a Grand Plan. Always believe, always trust, always reach out to people who care.

TREY: THE LIGHT OF OUR LIFE

After serving in the Navy with three deployments in four years, our wonderful son was home. But now we noticed that Trey seemed to have changed – not from the likeable person he still was, but in his drinking. It had gotten worse. Quiet drinking alone, binge drinking to avoid facing life’s challenges, these had become his choice of a way to escape whatever was haunting him.

Although he married soon after coming out of the Navy, those demons continued to follow Trey. In just three short years after he was married, his constant drinking and the manifestations of his PTSD led to a divorce.

Trey has always been a kind and giving person, so I guess it was natural and a “God thing” that brought him to meet Lee Stuckey and the volunteers of AHERO. Trey had heard how AHERO helps Veterans, and he had talked to Lee even before his divorce. Lee had invited him to come to AHERO Farm in Shorter, Alabama, to meet some of the others and help out. But then Trey would manage to not show up.

Except once. On that day, Trey upheld his commitment and found himself enjoying cutting brush and helping with other work on the farm. But the demons didn’t stay home. They were still always with him.

Lee, along with some friends and Tina and I, had been talking with Trey for weeks before the divorce about getting help through the Warriors Heart program, but he didn’t think he needed help and was determined to work on his problems himself. Things went on, his heavy drinking leading to a couple of close calls on being given a DUI. Then came the night he passed out altogether in his car after hours of drinking in a bar.

That was it. Trey finally agreed to get help, hopefully at Warrior’s Heart. Thanks to Lee’s great help with the red tape of VA benefits access, we were able to get Trey on a plane to Warriors Heart right away.

At the time of this writing, we’ve had several texts and a Zoom call with Trey at Warriors Heart. He looks better and says he loves the place. We have even spoken to his councilor. “He’s been the perfect patient,” she told us.

One thing we are so grateful for is that going through the program at Warrior’s Heart was entirely Trey’s idea. We knew he was free to make his own choices. We did not hold him hostage to make life changes but understood that the addict must be the one to choose to change. No matter how much you are loved, it must be your personal decision alone.

We thank God every day for Lee Stuckey, AHERO, Warrior’s Heart, and the VA – each for their part in giving Trey a second chance at life. Tina and I love our son more than we love anything, and Warrior’s Heart is giving him the tools to live a better life. It will be up to him to use those tools and to reach out for help when he needs it.

There are always people who are ready to help us help ourselves. The all-volunteer AHERO organization is an example of that. Warrior’s Heart is another. Both carry the constant and wonderful message that we all truly have a life worth living.

Proud dad with his U.S. Navy Sailor!

Trey on Deployment.