things she said WORDS, INSPIRATION AND THOUGHTS THAT CONNECT
The following text is compiled from over 50 interviews conducted on the blog at connected woman MAGAZINE. They feature diverse women, all with a unique journey, gift or story to tell. I hope you enjoy and are lead to read their full interviews to gain more insight on these dynamic women.
I just want to make sure that everyone knows that transformation is about fixing anything. It’s about remembering that you’re whole and complete. So often, I think transformational people can create this, oh well, you know….there is so much judgment. This is not about judgment. This is about knowing that you’re whole and complete, remembering it, and then turning towards it. So I really want people to understand that. - Soul Speak with Jennifer Urezzio
The best thing about my years as a stay-at-home mom was witnessing every magical moment of my children’s younger years. The wonder and discovery as they grew and started to move around in the world was fantastic to witness. I knew I could never get those days back with my children and wanted to be there with them. I liked that they had the stability in one person. The worst was when they were ill, those days were long. - Building Your Circle with Jennifer Gardella
I have had a low point where I lost what I considered to be my main source of income at the time. But understand that nothing knocks you down forever. Being strong and never giving up is key. I know it sounds trite, but really to make my dreams come true at one point I had two jobs (not looking for handouts or for anyone to give me anything). I put work into developing my brand and making it successful. People need to realize that you will go through ups and downs in life, we all will and do, the thing is to not let the downs be permanent and get up off your butt and get moving! - Securing Your Safety Net with Jennifer Streaks
My biggest lesson is that I can’t do anything like this without God’s hand being in it. I mean, I just can’t. It is so important when I give God my time, when I give Him my heart, when I meet with Him, when I hand over the questions and concerns that I have, the challenges that I am facing, the obstacles… I don’t know what it is but everything just runs so much smoother. The biggest lesson is that I can’t do this without God because He is the one that gives me the ideas of what I need to do, the directions that I need to walk in. My prayer is always that He would fill me up with God ideas, that He would fill me up with His ideas because I know His ideas carries so much more than what my ideas ever could. I can’t do this without God by my side. - Intentional Living with Jen Bennett
Life was very difficult. I contemplated going back to my abuser because I felt like I had let my children down. I took them from a home and brought them to the streets. But my oldest daughter became my ROCK and she begged me never to go back and kept telling me that things will get better. I believed her. My family was supportive of me and when my Mom heard of my struggle she moved from New York to stay with me so she could help me with my daughters. My ex threatened to find me and take the children. - The Other Side of Fear with Joan Randall
Success for me means to live the journey on my terms. So many of us are stuck in shame, fear, and judgment of our life experiences. Our negative mind chatter is rampant and we are chasing what success looks like as defined by others. It’s time to shed how others define what makes us light up and take back our shine. - Still Shining with Lisa Renee Johnson
I was scrolling through stock photography sites looking for images I could use in a non-fiction book I was writing. I came across a beautiful black female cartoon doctor with dark skin and natural hair pulled back into a bun and I could not stop staring at her. It took me a while to figure out why I was so struck by the image. I eventually concluded that my mind was having a hard time processing what my eyes were seeing because I hadn’t seen anything like that before. Often when you see black cartoon characters, they are simply chocolate-coated or overly tan white characters. They have a pointy nose, thin lips, and straight hair and rarely have the physical features that are typically attributed to black people. I can’t relate to those characters because they don’t look like me. In fact, they don’t look like most black people I know. That’s why seeing that image of a positive black character that actually looked like she was black by design and not as an afterthought was powerful for me. - Making It "Write": An Interview with Crystal Swain-Bates
Your mess is your message. You may know where everything is however it is probably causing a lot of clutter and stress in your mind. Not to mention the dust that is collecting in those piles. It is a myth for a reason. Some will say that they can find what they're looking for in all the piles and cannot find what they're looking for if their desk is neat and tidy. I help people set up systems based on their personality style. – The Ultimate To-Do "LIST" with Rowena List
My journey has not been easy but in terms of my lowest point I would have to say was the battle within myself. During my early twenties when I was just in a self-destructive mode. I was angry at myself for not doing better and pushing myself to achieve greater. I was frustrated, I made bad decisions and just wasn’t honoring myself that I should have. – Staying the Course with Latoya Benson
I love seeing women doing the work they want to be doing, to see them shine, to earn money doing what they love and sharing their gifts with others. The feeling of independence and earning money is very important at any age but as older women, we/they have earned it!! I absolutely adore and admire the women I work with. – On Our Own with Kim Kirmmse Toth
You can transform yourself by making you a priority in your life. When you change your mindset to making you a priority that’s the point is when your life will change. Changing your mind is the most effective way to change your life. You have control over whom and what you are. You create your life and your world. “You Get to Decide.” We sit back, look at their lives, and wish we could view things in a more positive manner. Then we beat ourselves up for being negative or not having the attitude and responses that we wish we had. Instead of feeling angry with yourself for responding to life the way you normally do, think positively about your desire to have a healthier mindset. – All is Well with Candice Camille
It’s easier when times are tough to focus on creating positive change in one small area, rather than feeling overwhelmed by the big picture of life. Changing just those first couple of hours in the day is truly life-shifting. It flows into all other areas of life and so many things begin to resolve themselves just as a result of starting the day off in a positive, loving way. - Connected Conversations with Kristi Ling
Love God, Love Yourself, and Love Others‌ In that order. That's my message. I think women in particular tend to be very self-sacrificing in their lives, and are made to feel guilty about having real healthy relationships with themselves. There's a point in the book where I pointed out how Maya Angelou, in one of her last interviews before she died, cried joyfully at the notion of God's love for her. It caught her off guard and was humbling to her! That realization hit me too. Deeply. It filled me up. It filled any void or self-loathing that I had within. It was transformative and gave me the power to truly love myself. With that experience, I am able to love others from an authentic place instead of a needy place. - CONNECTED BOOKS: CEO OF MY SOUL with Nicole Cober
“To thine own self be true” is one of my favorite quotes. If you can’t be yourself unapologetically then you are living a lie. If you are living a lie you are not living your purpose and if you are not living your purpose you certainly are not experiencing what you are passionate about. Authenticity and the courage to live and express it is the master key to living the life you were created to live. God has already approved you so you don’t need anyone’s permission to be who you are. When you deny God’s craftsmanship of your authenticity you question his genius. If you really want to live a passionate and purposeful life you’ve got to stop worrying about what other people might think of you and be who God has already approved you to be unapologetically. When you make this choice life will be full of truth, freedom, passion, and fulfillment. - Born to be a Boss- An Interview with Catrice Jackson
As a Christian, I believe in the power of tongue. Therefore, I believe that one of the major reasons that girls don’t pursue Science, Technology, Engineering and Math (STEM) careers is because they don’t believe they’re smart enough to do so and they continuously speak that. So, my mentoring begins with changing mindsets. My mother is and always has been my biggest supporter. She always told me not to settle for average, because I was above average and could achieve anything I set out to accomplish. - Inspired to Empower: An Interview with Mentors Making a Difference with Aisha Martin
Joy is not something that exists outside of us, it is something that is always present, ready to be claimed and is cultivated in our lives through our experiences and the choices we make. Living a joyous life is about finding the beauty, grace and joy that is present in our lives, regardless of what is going on around us and sometimes because of it. - The Path to Joy: An Interview with Authors of Cultivating Joy with Paula Houlihan
I focused a lot on how I got through some of the things that I had to go through to get to this point in my life. It started with my upbringing and being raised by strong women. I explained how the strength that I inherited from them was both a blessing and a hindrance. I wanted to tell my story because I wanted women that are going through what I have gone through and continue to go through to know that they shouldn’t give up on themselves. I wear many hats: mother, caregiver, full-time employee, business owner, advocate, etc., and many of those hats I have to wear at the same time. It’s not easy, but I don’t give up on my dreams and my purpose, I still work on those on a daily basis. - Built for This: An Interview with Author Meochia Clayton
My basic message to women is they are more powerful than they know- Life has beat them down emotionally and it has given them more than they could handle, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Each woman can reconcile with God, herself and others and bring healing and radiance and life to everything and everyone around her- starting with her family! - Lost & Found: An Interview with Shirley Solis
The biggest lesson is that even in the midst of chaos or disappointment you can still make it. I have gone through so much but none of it destroyed me, even though some of it was designed to do just that. My biggest hurdle has been my health issues over the last several years. I have suffered great pain, hair loss and some level of incapacity but I refuse to let it hinder me from fulfilling God’s purpose for my life. The stress of divorce and loss added to my health problems but through all of it I learned to cope even better – every experience has helped me become a better woman. I am more in tune with the concerns and hurts of others as a result of my tragedies. - Words & Songs of Praise with Angel Barrino
As a woman, highly sensitive person, Pisces, and INFP personality type, I feel very deeply. If I’m not careful, I can allow my thoughts to overcome me. I also say that it’s where I talk to and hear from God. I don’t know how my unfiltered thoughts will affect those around me, but it doesn’t matter on paper. I can be my loudest, boldest, most authentic self. I’ve since learned, too, that after gathering and clarifying my thoughts through writing, I can so much more easily (and shamelessly) talk about it. - Getting Her Crown: An Interview with Author Trelani Michelle
I wanted to share my story in the hopes that it ignites soldiers, who are transitioning, to pursue their dreams. More often than not, transitioning leaves veterans feeling confused. They don't know what their next steps are. I want to help inspire them to discover their dreams, set goals, and achieve those goals and dreams. - BACK TO LIFE: An Interview with Author Vernessa Blackwell
While many women can relate to “Why I Stayed” that’s not the right question. The right question is why he is abusive… However, I remained in this relationship because of the psychological control that he exercised. I was so disconnected from myself and my place as a woman that I struggled with loving me. I did not recognize the image presenting back to me in the mirror. It was very difficult. I started to believe that I was not worthy of love, real love and that this was all I’d ever have. Once those thoughts entered my mind, I became his victim, his puppet on a string. - Rebuilding from Within: An Interview with Tamika Sims
I used to be afraid that I would work a 9 to 5 till I was 65. I stopped worrying and started putting a business plan in places to leave my job and become my own Boss. That's the best decision I ever made. - Set in Motion with Lucinda Cross
I actually feel that way today. I feel relief and joy in my heart. I'm in full recovery from my depression. I remember days when I wished I could go to sleep and never wake up. Now I can't wait to wake up and see what the day brings. I'm thankful to be living. I'm blessed to be able to continue my journey through life and make the best of it. - My Saving Grace (Clinical Depression Awareness): An Interview with Jasmin Pierre
I will always consider myself a work in progress, and I think that others should too. You stop growing when you stop learning. I advise to never stop growing. - Connected Books: Meet Kiersten Kindred
As women we were shown how to care for others but we were rarely taught how to care for ourselves. Self-care is nurturing your inner child. Feeding her the essentials that make her feel good internally. Coupled with self-love, you discover that you are worthy of all you desire and more. Selflove can often be a challenge which is why I share simple instructions for women to love on themselves. - Connected Conversations with Tina C. Hines
There are days where I absolutely feel overwhelmed, but I am able to lean on the strength and grace of God to get me through those days. My days of feeling overwhelmed don’t last long because my children always find a way to make me laugh and remember why I am a SAHM. My husband is supportive, so when I need a moment to get rejuvenated, he gives that to me. I have not questioned my decision to stay home because I know that it is exactly what I should be doing at this particular moment. - Connected Conversations with Teri Watters
I knew once I finally experienced enough healing of my own and I felt strong enough to empower someone else. When you travel in an airplane, the flight crew instructs you to put on your oxygen mask first before you attempt to assist children or other passengers. They tell you this because you cannot effectively begin to help someone else while gasping for air yourself. It is impossible to bring healing to another person when your wounds are gaping and oozing, but once you’ve been medicated and bandaged the healing process begins. That’s when you gain enough strength to be a lifeline for someone else. - Connected Conversations with Paula McDade
When you’re in a relationship with Him, you’ll know when and where to move because you’ll recognize His voice. God can’t only be that 911 call in your life- a relationship is key. - A Life of Worship: An Interview with Vicki Yohe
I think lots of women are afraid to share their talents because they think “it has already been done” or “someone else can do it better”. But when you think about it, there is nothing new under the sun. The world is full of lots of people doing many similar things, and that’s ok. The world needs all of our talents and gifts. So don’t let fear hold you back! Community and sharing is what enriches our lives. - Connected Conversations with Samantha Conner
Well, I think balance is a myth; or rather a bill of goods we’re sold that makes us feel lousy about ourselves, especially if we view it as a constant that we must attain. It just isn’t possible to have a continual balance in life—stuff changes too often. I think the best we can do is recognize that life is full of a myriad of things every day and the balance comes from knowing that we aren’t going to ever get everything accomplished on our lists and that’s okay. Do what you can and leave the rest for tomorrow and make sure you throw some fun in there. It’s also okay to indulge in copious amounts of wine and chocolate—that could be the fun part. - Women, Joy and Life's Cellulite with Mary Fran Bontempo
I feel the most in service when I’m teaching. I absolutely love being in front of an audience or a group and helping people learn something that will hopefully improve their lives. I feel powerful when I’m traveling, especially on my own because it requires courage, independence, and provides the opportunity for complete freedom. - Meet Jacqueline Boone
My heart has changed. I’m a different person now. I’m compassionate now and I’m not coming from…..I’m not dissing anyone that I love and I’m not dissing my fellow coaches. What I found in my experiences from many coaches and people in authority positions is that I find a lack of compassion and being untouchable and self-righteousness or something like that. I was headed there and God took me down a notch and brought a new compassion in me for people and that has changed the whole face of this organization, it’s changed me and it’s changed the people that I influence. It’s been very powerful. - Restored by Grace with Bess Blanco
Honestly knowing everything I now know, and going through all the emotional highs and lows I went through, I would do it all over again for my children, even without anything being altered. Even just hearing the kids tell me daily how much they love me, erases all the negatives. - The Best Choice with Ophelia Uke
The day I was released from jail, I met my abusive, pimp boyfriend, walked across the street to the Pizza Hut, drank a pitcher of beer paid for it with a forged check and was back at the crack house that afternoon. Then soon after I was experiencing the same physical violence that I had been living before I went to jail. I picked up by bag, which held all my worldly belongings and left. Sitting outside on the curb in the ghetto of Washington, D.C. – I looked up and cried out to God for help. Not soon after I began my 23-year journey in 12-Step. Watching and listening to people who were just like, me who had found the strength through fellowship and their relationship with God to overcome, gave me the idea that maybe I could too! - A Life Redefined with Lisa Kratz Thomas
To go for it, go for your dreams! I believe being an entrepreneur is the best way to create the life that you want! Brand the facets of your life. Did you know that every social media post, every comment, every like is you branding your life? So don’t feel guilty if you did not work on your business that day, ‘cause that instagram post of you making dinner for your kids was your branding for the day! Every human being connecting with the internet is creating a digital thumbprint, why not take conscious charge of that and have it reflect your authentic self. I believe in the future, archaeologist will be data miners of the internet, I can’t wait for my future descendants to read this very blog interview and I hope it will inspire all to create legacy that you are proud of. - Creating the Life You Want with Juanita Aguerrebere
Just start writing the manuscript to get the information or words out of your head. From there, pray for clarity, solicit forwards, invest in an editor and do not be afraid to spend the money needed to get what you want done. - Learning First with Sindy Eugene
I think there is a misconception that self-love is selfish or some ‘woo woo’ concept. But I believe that self-love is being willing to embrace the person that I am and the woman I am becoming. It’s about taking all of the love, comfort and admiration that you would adorn on someone in your life and realize that YOU have all of that within yourself and deserve to experience that same care and devotion. - Yourself First with Chivon John
The process of falling in love with what they have already created is definitely something that happens. Again, the business owner cannot clearly see their accomplishments at first and the other piece of that is when we can break a big goal down into manageable pieces, I call that “crumbling the mountain.” , this really big mountain that we call our destination into manageable pieces, what happens is that we start to feel better about our ability to make it happen and that allows us to be in a place of comfort, joy and excitement around our businesses versus thinking, “Oh, my god, this is too much; I can’t do this!” - Enhancing Your Presence with Brenda Rivas
I think probably my biggest lesson was one that sort of hit me over the head early on and that was it’s not enough to just be good at the marketing or really good at what your mastery is. You need more than just being good at what you do and you need more than marketing. I didn’t really get that at first. I thought as long as I was the best trainer, the best coach, or I’m marketing until I’m blue in the face and what I realized that there’s a whole mindset piece to it, there’s a whole head-game piece to it where all those things that people tell us all the time and you’re going, “Yeah, yeah,” and it’s true –believing in yourself and having faith and understanding that the things you think about yourself are the things that actually end up coming true so you should believe that great things are happening. - One on One with Christine Gallagher
My family is the driving force behind everything I do. The word family alone speaks volumes to me and in my heart. To me, family is not just who we are bonded to by blood... it is also who we are bonded to by love... by GOD. My family here mean the world to me. - Meet Lauren Sarnoff Atwaters
The greatest life lesson I have learned is “Your environment will always trump your willpower.” Your environment is the people, places and things that you surround yourself with. For some people they are going to take a hard look at those around them who are no longer supporting them and choose not to share their dream with them and also choose to release some of them. It’s a difficult conversation but you cannot stay the course if someone is constantly trying to pull you down. Making Her Own Way with Rae Majors-Wildman
I realized I was looking for her to change and make everything better instead of me being accountable for my own healing and my life and recognizing that I am now an adult and not a little girl and I had more control of my life, my feelings, my thoughts, and actions regardless of what happened in my life and at who hands. I also had to take ownership over my own bad experiences and mistakes. I started to see some similarities take place in my parenting and relationship. So that led me on a journey of healing that although included me forgiving my mother and our issues but me doing a lot of inner work and facing my own issues and how I handle situations. - A Foundation of Forgiveness with Sharisa Robertson
Some women believe because they are involved in their church or whatever, there are certain things that they can’t say or certain things they can’t wear with their husbands and we tell them that’s not true because the Bible says that marriage spirit is undefiled, so as long as you are communicating with your husband and you’re not doing anything against the Word of God, i.e. bringing other people into your bedroom or bringing animals and all those other kinds of things and as long as you and your husband are comfortable with what you’re doing, I believe the marriage bed belongs to you and your husband. - A Passion for Image with Gail Crowder
I would tell families that they are not alone in this situation. Look for support groups in your area. People are always willing to help and take the help they offer. You can’t do it alone. Also to know that life isn’t over. Just spend quality time with the family and don’t give up. Also make sure you see a lawyer to put all your financials in order before it’s too late. - Living Today with Erika Eiger
I love myself more and I am truly happy about where I am in life. It was hard at first because I went through a grieving process and I dealt with a great deal of guilt. But I learned to allow God to love me and it helped me gain the confidence I needed to believe in myself all over again. Now I am bolder, more vibrant, and not afraid to speak up and out. - The Issue of Divorce with LaTara Bussey
Faith begins with a personal relationship with God and extends from there. We can only control our own thoughts and actions. To better promote unity among God’s people, we should be problem solvers. We should be the change we want to see in our communities and churches. The foundational purpose for all faith-people should be to honor God through our actions. We are beginning to see just that happening in the movie industry with the success of The Bible, Son of God, Noah and other faith-based films. Will we agree on all the details of production? Probably not, but the Bible provides the foundation from which to build. The big move of Hollywood is helping to spread the Word to those who might not have had the thought of walking into a church. Seizing the moments to share is important. We have a choice, focus on the negative or the positive. I choose and promote the positive. I encourage others to do the same. If we get caught up in the negative (and there will be negative) then we let the negative win. - Faithfully Yours with Deborah Hightower
I think people struggle with their writing in that they don’t set a schedule. I coach people. We set the goals, we set the schedule, and more often than not, if they haven’t met their goals, it’s because they haven’t sat down to write for x-amount of minutes that day or whatever it was. I also think another reason that people struggle most is by letting that evil roommate in their brain talk them out of their good ideas. You have to kind of get over that. As business owners and writers, it doesn’t matter what you do. If someone is occupying your brain and it’s that voice of doubt or uncertainty, it’s going to hurt you long-term. So it is believing in yourself and making the time to sit down and do the work that needs to be done in written format. - The Power of Words with M. Shannon Hernandez
When I feel like giving up I pray. Sometimes I will pray all day long until peace comes. I also talk to positive spiritual people who will remind me of who I am and give me something to think and smile about. - Overcoming & Doing it All with Rosalind Y. Tompkins
If you sit around waiting and waiting and you never do anything, it’s like what are you waiting for? You have to take a step. You have to be bold enough to take a step. You can believe God. If you are staying in God’s face and staying in his presence, He is going to correct you if you’re going the wrong way. He will. It is important to get instructions but it also important not to over-analyze, over-think, sit forever and do nothing. - Faith, Friends and Foundation with Shae Bynes & Antonina Greer
Don’t be afraid to fail. “Failure” can be your greatest stepping-stone to success. Everything that you need to succeed is inside of you. Decide who you want to be and then start moving forward in creating that and find the right people to support you. Don’t try to go at it alone! It’s really important that you surround yourself with like-minded people. It is key to your success, happiness and fulfillment in life. - A Life Inspired with Keri Murphy
I am a person who generally believes that where there is a will, there is always a way to do anything you want, whatever the situation. I take great joy in encouraging those I work with, train, consult and indeed my children, to adopt the same mindset, which in turn builds confidence, drive and determination to invest in themselves, manage their time (kids not quite yet) and pursue anything they put their minds to. “We have one life to live, so let’s live it!� - 10 Minutes with Sarah Lofthouse Pavlou
I think we all wear so many different hats. We have so many different competing demands and we’re struggling constantly to make it all work. Without feeling guilty, we are running around truly like a superwoman. So I wanted to create this whole movement called Superwoman Lifestyle because I know a lot of my colleagues and other people say, “Oh, give up this whole superwoman mentality. It’s never going to work. You can’t have it all.” I just don’t believe that. I believe that you can have it all and you can have your own superwoman-lifestyle as long as you define what that means to you without comparing yourself to other people. Your superwoman-lifestyle can mean something very different than what my superwoman-lifestyle means. All that matters is that at the end of the day both of us feel like we accomplished something and we can go to sleep resting easy knowing that we moved, at least the minimum of 1% percent towards our goals every single day. Handling Business with Vicki Irvin
Often times, people will dismiss you or diminish your value based on how you’re dressed. I can take two people - two women – both highly qualified to do a job but only one looks the part. The one who looks the part, I guarantee you, will make more money. So it really is about not leaking precious oils. When you have people that can teach you how to do a thing, invest in those people because then there are those things that you are going to want people to invest in you for because they have a certain level of expertise in their credentialed area. So image is huge. It is a topic that you really can’t get around. - WIFE. MOM. BOSS. with Shekina Moore
Yes, unfortunately personal finance is not officially taught in our society and parents often don't think they should have frank conversations with their children about money. However, children can learn about money at a very early age. Parents should consider what concepts about money are important to them and their culture. What do they want to make sure their children understand? For example, make sure your children understand that they exchange labor, time or energy for money. Then follow this up with what they should do with the money that they have earned. Set up three jars or piggy banks for each child, one jar will represent money for spending. The second jar will represent saving and have a third jar that can represent charitable giving. Parents can then talk to their children about why they have each jar and what percent of their money should go into each jar and why. This will establish good money management skills early. This will also bring home the important concept of saving up money in order to purchase what they want, which will help them avoid over using credit and the credit-debt cycle. - Connecting the Dots with Dr. Maria James