Feature Page

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Benefits and costs of the family pooch

Five big lies of retirement planning

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Pets provide physical benefits, beyond intangible ones.

Conventional financial wisdom could be just wishful thinking.

LIFESTYLE

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Sunday June 14, 2015

ASK Carolyn Correct misssteps with new neighbors Dear Carolyn: Two years ago, hubby and I bought our dream home in an upper-middle-class suburb. We both work, both make six figures. Life is good. BUT, our new neighbors … at a recent party, I asked one woman what she did. She said, “Oh I don’t work; my husband wants me to, but I told him I can’t work and give him clean laundry and hot meals and a clean house too.” I was a little shocked and said, “I work and my family gets every one of those things.” Turns out NONE of the neighborhood women work and now I’m not invited to things. (I see them going to one another’s homes, so I know they all socialize.) This is a new division and we all moved in within a few months of each other, so it’s not a matter of them knowing each other longer. I feel surrounded by Stepford Wives. What can I do? —Non-Stepford Wife Dear Non-Stepford: Unless you want to make the effort to rebuild the bridge you burned, you have to get used to the idea of living there but not socializing there. Granted, the implication that people can’t work and run a household is ridiculous, but maybe she wasn’t saying it can’t be done, but instead that she couldn’t do it. And isn’t she entitled to decide that, without getting a defensive response from someone with different priorities and limits? Certainly it’s possible you’re surrounded by Mommy Warriors. However, the idea that every neighbor-mom but you shares a single hive mind is highly suspect. Make the effort. Expect them to have different histories, priorities, opinions and receptiveness to you. And different futures: Remember, their lives will take them all kinds of places even from this similar starting point. Specifically seek out the one you spoke to and apologize for getting off on the wrong foot. If nothing sticks, oh well, right?

Contact Carolyn

Write to her care of the Washington Post, Style Plus, 1150 15th St., NW, Washington, D.C. 20071 or e-mail tellme@ washpost.com. Detroit Free Press, New York Times, jediplumbing.com.au, safetails.com, dreamstime.com, gettyimages.in, Pinterest

INVISIBLE MOTHERS OF THE SUBURBS Professional women of color choose to stay at home

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By FRAN SCHUMER public defender, Nichole Nunes said that until she joined Mocha Moms Inc., a support group for stay-at-home mothers of color, she knew only one African-American woman who had chosen to stay at home with her children rather than return to work. ‘’Before I met her, I didn’t know we did that,’’ said Ms.Nunes, 30, of South Orange, New Jersey. Professional women of color do, in fact, choose full-time motherhood, but are less visible than their white counterparts, especially in the suburbs. The result is the kind of playground nightmare frequently described by stay-at-home mothers of color: white women congregating in one corner; nannies, in another, and the African-American mother left standing alone.

Mocha Moms

Was established in 1997 Includes 50 chapters around the country Membership is targeted towards women of color, but is available to all individuals For more information, go to www.mochamoms.org

Please see MOTHERS, page C4

State Parks celebrate one millionth camp night By KATHLEEN LAVEY

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ow fuel prices and an improved economy have helped boost the number of nights spent camping in Michigan’s state parks and recreation areas past 1 million for 2015. That’s the first time the state has hit that number since 2012, and it’s 9% higher than 2014. Even better: Campers say they like what they’re getting. “Overall, the numbers are up, and the customer feedback we’re getting has been really positive,” said Jason Fleming, resource management chief for the Michigan Department of Natural Resources’ parks division. Fleming said surveys of campers during

the 2015 year show that 89% rate the experience as “good” or “very good.” “First of all, they really like the services,” Fleming said. “They like that we go in and we take care of the facilities.” Fleming said the state is always working on off-season improvements such as updating facilities or upgrading electrical service throughout a camp. Another priority is improving accessibility. He said campers also gave the state parks’ reservation system good marks. The majority of campers in state parks use tents or recreational vehicles, but Fleming said cabins, mini-cabins, yurts and a handful of lodges that once served as residences for park supervisors are popular.

Please see CAMP, page C6

MOST IMPORTANT FACTOR WHEN CHOOSING A CAMPGROUND

DOG FRIENDLY

NEAR WATER

BEAUTIFUL VIEWS

CLEAN BATHROOMS


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