How I Stopped Breastfeeding

WRITTEN BY HELEN MARSHALL

Starting breastfeeding is a pretty daunting experience; if it’ s your first baby that you ’ ve fed in that way you don ’t know if you ’ re doing it right, you doubt yourself and then you wonder when you ’ll start getting some time to yourself. Even if you love it, there ’ s always the sense of doubt hanging over, whether internal, or whether people suggest unhelpful things when all you really want is support. But, what about when you want to stop? I was clueless, I just knew that I wanted it to be gentle, but I didn ’t really know where to start, so, much like the rest of motherhood, I decided to wing it!

How did I do it?

As lockdown hit the UK, she was wanted to feed more and more in the day, but after a couple of months, I had to start saying no, as I was fed up with my top being pulled down whenever I sat down! Within 2 days of saying “ no ” and distraction techniques, she was day-weaned. The night-time feeds were what I wasn ’t looking forward to, as I knew she wouldn ’t give them up without a fight. So, about 2 months before she turned two, I started to make changes. First, I decided to still feed her at night, but not fully to sleep. She had a good understanding of what I was saying to her by this point, so we ’d feed for around 20 minutes (timed by our good friend Ollie the Owl), then I’d just say “ no more boobies now ” . She took to it far better than I expected. Then with cuddles and a LOT of encouragement, she ’d drop off sans boob. Over the course of around two months, I slowly reduced the boob time. She wasn ’t always happy, but with reassuring words and more cuddles, she usually settled down. The next job was weaning through the night and, to be honest, I just went for it. The first two nights, I just started saying “ no ”

"AS LOCKDOWN HIT THE UK, SHE WAS WANTED TO FEED MORE AND MORE IN THE DAY... "

when she woke up wanting boob, she wasn ’t happy, but offering cuddles instead worked again; within the week, she was almost completely weaned. We kept the morning feed to reconnect after the night, for a couple more weeks, but she stopped that, and that was the end of our feeding journey.

I know it sounds very simple, but I think because of her age, it was a slightly easier process than if she ’d been younger. Maybe it’ s simply that I’ m lucky, as I know other mums don ’t have such an easier time with older children, but I think that if it’ s time for you stop – your choice, if you want to naturally wean do that, don ’t let anyone dictate it but you and your child – the best way is with comfort, reassuring words, and lots and lots of cuddles!

Did it feel strange?

Yes, I went through a lot of emotions – though mainly internally, because that’ s who I am. I felt weird; useless; like I’d failed; happy; free and, most importantly, I felt proud. No matter when you stop,

"I felt weird; useless; like I’d failed; happy; free and, most importantly, I felt proud. "

be that after a day or 3 years, always be proud of yourself!

I think my strongest feeling was of relief, I felt like a weight had been lifted, there was no longer a pressure associated with my choice to feed and no longer a pressure on myself of HOW exactly I was going to do it.

I know I’ m very privileged to be able to feed my child with my body and be able to wean her in such a way, but, mamas, you can do this, it’ s not forever, you might miss it, you might not, but it’ s YOUR JOURNEY, so you do you.

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