THE UGLY LAW
The Chicago Municipal Code, sec. 36034 No person who is diseased, maimed, mutilated or in any way deformed so as to be an unsightly or disgusting object or improper person to be allowed in or on the public ways or other public places in this city, or shall therein or thereon expose himself to public view, under a penalty of not less than one dollar nor more than fifty dollars for each offense.
some things are hidden
most are ignored.
gross.
Beautiful is the absence of defects
Every garden has weeds.
It’s like I think I can dig myself out of this pit by getting beneath my skin and pulling out all the badness. In the moment not being able to understand that I defeat the idea with the process. I’m just weak and it doesn’t register as pain if it satisfies the urge. I am always available.
The practice of rendering people helpless or keeping them in captivity. You keep me restained forcing me to listen, to watch, to cry.
So i tie my hands behind my back before i go to sleep.
Commission Regulation (EEC) 2257/94 Must be free from malformation or abnormal curvature.
I’m parasitic My mind is rational but my behaviour is not. Understanding does not set your free. It’s not external. It’s the disease that is festering inside. Like suffocating yourself with your own hands. And then always seeing your hands as a reminder of the cycle. Scared to be idle. For most it does not even have a name. It is simply the thing on the inside. Go to sleep every night hoping that you will magically heal in your sleep and tomorrow nobody will be able to see what you have done to yourself. Sometimes I do not know what is worse, being the person who is continually physically beating themselves up, or being the person everyone feels sorry for for exactly that reason. If I could peel it all off I would. Grow and shred. Stop thinking about being invisible. Stop thinking about how you hurt yourself. And just breathe.
It’s just not talked about.