Living with a stranger by Alison Smith

THE BIG STORY SUNDAY, DECEMBER 11, 2016

magicvalley.com

SECTION E

3 FAMILIES ENDURING THE DEVASTATION OF DEMENTIA

LIVING WITH A STRANGER

DREW NASH PHOTOS, TIMES-NEWS

Sherrel and Larry Olsen of Buhl talk Oct. 17 about their lives and how they’ve changed since Larry was diagnosed with dementia. ‘My heart just aches for him,’ Sherrel says. ‘He’s embarrassed about it. Anytime I’m annoyed I try to think about what he’s dealing with.’

UHL — Larry Olsen, 77, spent decades as a wilderness survival expert, teaching people to care for themselves in extreme circumstances. But none of his skills prepared him for a disease that would steal his steady bearing and destroy his mind. And nothing prepared his wife for the consuming demands of dementia caregiving. “I’m just wearing out,” said Sherrel Olsen, 75. “And as we’re noticing more complications arriving, I’m struggling to keep it under control.” Alzheimer’s disease and related dementias tear away a person’s identity, interrupt family structure and exhaust family members. Alzheimer’s disease accounts for 70 percent of known dementia cases. The neurodegenerative disorder takes five to 20 years to run its course, and sufferers can lose up to 50 percent of brain mass. That loss brings memory impairment, language difficulty, motor problems and loss of cognitive function. And the changes are permanent and fatal. For families of Alzheimer’s patients, there is no easy road out. Caregiver burnout can be devastating, said Shawna Wasko, spokeswoman for the College of Southern Idaho’s Office on Aging. She leads support groups for caregivers and served on the Idaho Alzheimer’s Planning Group.

“I would like society to grow the hell up and realize when they see some of these behaviors that the person probably has Alzheimer’s.” Shawna Wasko, College of Southern Idaho’s Office on Aging spokeswoman Repetitive behaviors stress the caregiver. Sometimes the patient inflicts violence or says horrible things. And as the disease destroys parts of the brain, memories go too. An 80-year-old may remember only up to 1960 — when the coffeepot still percolated on the stove — or try to use the bathroom in a sugar bowl because it resembles a childhood chamber pot.

Relationships can disintegrate along with the memories. Patients may call husbands or wives by previous spouses’ names, engage in inappropriate sexual behavior or fall in love with other people. Even their own appearance in the mirror can be frightening — they have no memory of themselves at the current age. They may become non-verbal and forget how to walk or swallow. And when the frontal brain is affected, the patient loses inhibitions. “That’s when the person may strip naked in Fred Meyer,” Wasko said, recounting an episode when customers at the store reacted with outrage. “I would like society to grow the hell up and realize when they see some of these behaviors that the person probably has Alzheimer’s.” Another Alzheimer’s sufferer she knows liked to touch pretty necklaces and earrings, and strangers assumed the worst. “Caregivers feel so humiliated sometimes, and they are exhausted anyway, and society is so stupid,” Wasko said. “We really need to educate the public when they see these types of behaviors on how they can react in ways that help.” Wasko’s support groups give caregivers a place to talk safely about those emotionally charged experiences, and they offer practical tips to make life Please see ALZHEIMER’S, Page E2

Alzheimer’s disease in Idaho Idaho Medicare costs of caring for people with Alzheimer’s hit $133 million in 2016, and officials project a 42 percent increase in the number of people with Alzheimer’s disease in the state by 2025. Projected number of people 65 and older with Alzheimer’s disease in Idaho: 35

65-74 75-84 85+

(in thousands)

LAURIE WELCH

lwelch@magicvalley.com

0 2016

2020

2025

Source: Alzheimer’s Association Illustration by Kat Wagner, Lee Enterprises

Alzheimer’s disease in the United States

5 MILLION People living with Alzheimer’s.

16 MILLION People who may have the disease by 2050.

$216 BILLION Sherrel Olsen shows a photo of her family Oct. 17. Her husband, a dementia patient, doesn’t recognize their daughter Jane Olsen when she walks through the door, so Jane announces herself.

The 2016 costs of caring for people with Alzheimer’s and other dementias. Those costs are expected to reach $1.1 trillion by 2050. Source: Alzheimer’s Association

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MORE INSIDE: Too hard to handle? Where to find dementia help, information, E2 | Idaho’s Alzheimer’s plan needs money for implementation, E3

THE BIG STORY

E2 | Sunday, December 11, 2016

Times-News

LAURIE WELCH, TIMES-NEWS‌

Georgee Pirtle, who has advanced Alzheimer’s disease, spends time at a Burley adult day care in April 2015, giving her daughter-in-law a break from caregiving.

Too hard to handle? Where to find dementia help, information ‌The Greater Idaho Chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association offers patients and their caregivers a 24-hour-a-day helpline to guide them to resources in their communities, and it offers free counseling. The helpline, 1-800-272-3900, can help people find respite care, adult day care, support groups and more, said Mackenzie Rodgers, the chapter’s executive director. The association also offers educational workshops online at www. alz.org/idaho and offers messageboards and chat rooms. It has a virtual library where people can learn about the disease. The association can provide information for families on housing options; care at home; community and medical services; elder law attorneys; transportation; financial and legal planning; and other programs in their communities. Support groups led by people trained by the Alzheimer’s Association are 10:30-11:30 a.m. on the third Wednesday of each month at Twin Falls Senior Center, 530 Shoshone St., and 5:30-6:30 p.m. on the second Tuesday of the month at Bridgeview Estates, 1828 Bridgeview Blvd., both in Twin Falls. Idaho Department of Health and Welfare offers free referral

services for resources; call the Idaho Careline at 211. The College of Southern Idaho’s Office on Aging offers a Caregiver Support Group at 1-2:30 p.m. the first Monday of each month on the Twin Falls campus. Information: Shawna Wasko, 1-800-5748656. Wasko said the agency can help Magic Valley families find resources in their communities such as respite care, meals, transportation and homemaker services such as light housekeeping and chores. The Office on Aging offers case management, and its Ombudsman Program assists residents in long-term care facilities to protect their health, safety, rights and welfare. Rosetta Assisted Living offers dementia and Alzheimer’s disease support groups that are open to the public in Twin Falls, and day care and respite services in Twin Falls and Burley, manager Lisa Junod said. Information: 208-677-5451 or 1-884-508-5536. The Alzheimer’s Association has a listing of adult day care programs. They include: Hiland Estates, Burley, 208678-4411. Chardonnay Assisted Living, Twin Falls, 208-736-4808.

Alzheimer’s From E1

easier — like getting rid of white toilet seats, because people with the disease can’t always distinguish that color. Or using black rugs near forbidden doorways, because patients often dislike stepping on black. Caregivers have to accept that Alzheimer’s patients may experience a different reality. “If you argue with them, you will upset them,” Wasko said. “If they believe there is a snake on the floor, get the broom and sweep it outside. If they say they didn’t have lunch and they did, give them a couple apple slices.” Feelings of guilt may accompany the decision that it’s time to find a care facility, Wasko said, but clear signs are caregiver exhaustion and a patient beginning to show violence. “I have people, both men and women, getting beat up by spouses,” Wasko said. “Maybe it doesn’t start out that way, but often the violence escalates.” Wasko provides information for caregivers on respite care, in-home meals, housekeeping, transportation and other community resources that can help keep the Alzheimer’s patient at home longer. But all the help in the world can’t make this easy.

Larry’s wife: ‘I’m just wearing out’‌ Married 57 years, the Olsens operated Miracle Hot Springs until they sold the Buhl business to their son in 2004, but they continue to live in the nearby home where they raised their 10 children. Larry and Sherrel were high school sweethearts.

Willowbrook Assisted Living, Twin Falls, 208-736-3727. Bridgeview Estates, Twin Falls, 208-736-3933. Positive Connections, Twin Falls, 208-737-9999. Alpine Manor, Twin Falls, 208-734-1794. Woodstone Assisted Living-Heritage Assisted Living, Twin Falls, 208-734-6062. Heritage Retirement Center, Twin Falls, 208-733-9064. Cedar Draw Living Center, Filer, 208-326-3342. Desano Place Suites, Gooding, 208-934-4623. Applegate Retirement Estate, Buhl, 208-543-4020. Alpine Manor II, Kimberly, 208-423-5417. In Blaine County, Cassia County, Jerome, Gooding and Twin Falls, those looking for adult day care can also call: MDC, 208-934-0919. Best of Both Worlds Enrichment Center, 208-308-9062. Community Partnerships of Idaho, 208-376-4999. Magic Valley Rehabilitation Services, 208-734-4112. Center for Independent Living, 208-734-2322. —Laurie Welch

ALZHEIMER’S MYTHS MYTH: Memory loss is part of growing old. TRUTH: When people get older it is normal to have occasional problems with memory like forgetting the name of someone recently met. But Alzheimer’s disease is more than occasional loss of memory. The disease causes brain cells to not perform correctly and eventually die. A patient may forget a longtime friend’s name or how to get to a home where he lived for decades. MYTH: Alzheimer’s disease strikes only old people. TRUTH: People in their 30s, 40s and 50s can get younger onset Alzheimer’s. An estimated 200,000 people younger than 65 have the disease in the U.S. MYTH: A person doesn’t die from Alzheimer’s. TRUTH: There are no survivors of Alzheimer’s disease. The disease kills brain cells and takes away a person’s identity and ability to connect with others, along with the ability to eat, think, walk and talk. MYTH: Using aluminum cooking pots or drinking from aluminum cans causes the disease. TRUTH: During the 1960s and 1970s there was suspicion that aluminum played a role in the disease, but since then studies have failed to confirm aluminum’s role in causing it. MYTH: Memory loss can be caused by aspartame. TRUTH: The artificial sweetener was approved by the Food and Drug Administration in 1996, and the agency says it has not been presented with scientific evidence that would lead to a change on its conclusions of safety. MYTH: Risk of the disease can be increased by a flu shot. TRUTH: Several mainstream studies indicate that flu and other vaccinations do not increase the risk. MYTH: Silver dental fillings increase the risk of Alzheimer’s. TRUTH: According to available scientific evidence, there is no connection between silver dental fillings and the disease. MYTH: There are treatments to stop the disease’s progression. TRUTH: There is no treatment to delay, cure or stop the disease at this time, though there are drugs that slow the worsening of symptoms. Source: Alzheimer’s Association

“It’s hardest on my mother. She has it 24 hours a day, seven days a week. He’ll call and holler for her. For her it’s constant. Sometimes she feels like her sanity is waning.” Jane Olsen, daughter of Larry and Sherrel Olsen

the boot camp programs that followed. But the first harbinger of Larry’s disease appeared in 2011 when he started losing his way. “He’d take the car and be gone longer than he should have been and then tell me he was out in the country somewhere trying to find his way back,” Sherrel said. A doctor diagnosed Larry with Lewy body dementia, which combines Parkinson’s disease-like balance problems with the brain cell destruction of Alzheimer’s. Larry’s ability to lay down new memories is impaired, but for now his mind remains sharp as he tells stories from his earlier years. DREW NASH, TIMES-NEWS‌ Glaucoma complicates life further by Larry Olsen, diagnosed with Lewy body dementia, talks to his book editor, Shirley Bahlmann, impairing Larry’s vision. on the phone Oct. 17. “I’m bad with dates and numbers,” he said. “I can’t balance the checkbook anymore.” “I thought: He’s the person I want to be nessman, author and highly sought wilSherrel had to take over the budget. derness expert. He spearheaded the Ananext to because he will take care of you,” sazi Foundation, a wilderness therapeutic Sherrel said. Now she cares for him. program for troubled teens, long before Larry became a schoolteacher, busiPlease see ALZHEIMER’S, Page E3

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THE BIG STORY

Times-News

Sunday, December 11, 2016 | E3

Idaho’s Alzheimer’s plan needs money for implementation LAURIE WELCH

lwelch@magicvalley.com‌

‌ URLEY — Unpaid caregivers of B dementia and Alzheimer’s disease patients often feel overwhelmed and burnt out, the Idaho Alzheimer’s Planning Group found, and the state lacks sufficient information and resources for patients and their families — especially in rural areas. In 2012, the Idaho Legislature acknowledged that Alzheimer’s disease could become a big problem in the state and, in a resolution, endorsed the efforts of the Idaho Alzheimer’s Planning Group. The group — 18 professionals and others throughout the state — assessed needs, formulated a state plan, released in March 2013, and developed initiatives to fulfill the recommendations. But today most of the plan remains unfunded, said MacKenzie Rodgers, executive director of the Greater Idaho Chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association. The planning group’s five recommendations: Increase public awareness of the disease. Provide practical, timely information to patients and caregivers and training for health care providers and institutional and family caregivers. Coordinate support services for family members, patients and caregivers throughout the state. Create a positive regulatory and financial environment for addressing dementia-related issues. Develop an ongoing source

Read the plan Read Idaho’s “A State Plan for Alzheimer’s Disease and Related Dementias,” attached to this story on Magicvalley.com. of data collection regarding the needs of patients, their families and caregivers. Rodgers said the organization next will evaluate whether more legislation is needed to implement the plan or whether to look toward the private sector and existing public agencies. The state funded an initiative for improved data collection for the past three years, and private funding from AARP helped direct people toward Alzheimer’s resources, Rodgers said. Other major parts of the plan would require increased state funding to Idaho Department of Health and Welfare or Office on Aging budgets. There is no plan to seek funding from the Legislature in 2017, she said. “Alzheimer’s is already a big problem in the state and across the nation,” said Rep. Fred Wood, R-Burley, a physician and chairman of the House Health and Welfare Committee. “A very large percentage of Medicaid dollars goes for the care of the elderly.” Nearly one in every five Medicaid dollars is spent on a person with Alzheimer’s, according to the Alzheimer’s Association. The issue of rising Alzheimer’s

DREW NASH, TIMES-NEWS‌

Shawna Wasko, of the Area IV Office on Aging in Twin Falls, says keeping a person with Alzheimer’s disease at home a year longer can represent up to $120,000 in Medicare savings. costs in Idaho comes up every year in committee, Wood said. “The question with every program is where the revenues will come from,” he said. “And every new program that comes before us is scrutinized.” Sen. Lee Heider, R-Twin Falls, chairman of the Senate Health and Welfare Committee, said he does not recall the issue being discussed in committee. But it should be, he said. The number of aging baby boomers with Alzheimer’s disease could create “a big draw on Medicaid,” he said. The National Alzheimer’s Planning Act, a federal law, went into effect in 2011. The law requires an annually updated national plan submitted to Congress; recommendations to improve health outcomes and lower costs to families and government programs;

evaluation of federally funded efforts in the disease’s research, care and services; and creation of an advisory council. The Alzheimer’s Association also supports pending federal legislation including a Palliative Care and Hospice Education and Training Act and a Health Outcomes Planning and Education for Alzheimer’s Act. Little change has been felt in Idaho, especially for the families struggling to care for an Alzheimer’s patient in rural areas, said Shawna Wasko, spokeswoman for the College of Southern Idaho’s Office on Aging. Wasko leads support groups for caregivers in the Magic Valley and is collaborating on an informational book that will be distributed to doctors to give to Alzheimer’s patients and families. Families need increased ser-

vices like respite care, in-home meals and help with housework, which will keep some of these patients in their homes longer and save the state money, Rodgers said. A long-term care facility in Idaho costs $6,000 to $10,000 a month, with memory care being the most expensive. Assisted living runs $1,500 to $2,000 a month. Keeping a person in his or her home a year longer represents up to $120,000 in Medicaid savings, Wasko said. If it had funding of about $500 a month, the Office on Aging could provide respite care, home-delivered meals and transportation for an Alzheimer’s patient. “At what point do we get smart enough,” Wasko said, “to elect officials who will spend $500 a month to keep that person in their home for as long as they can?”

Alzheimer’s From E2

“I discuss things with Larry, but I end up making the decisions and making things happen or following through,” she said. “So it’s like — it’s just quite a bit heavier than it was.” Sherrel places Larry’s next dose of pills in a water glass and sets them on an orange paper, which eases his confusion about which pills to take. “I’m actually enjoying him quite a bit,” daughter Jane Olsen said. “Every moment is precious. It’s kind of endearing to me when he’s forgetful.” When Jane walks through the door, she has learned, he will not be able to tell who is there. So she announces herself. “It’s hardest on my mother,” Jane said. “She has it 24 hours a day, seven days a week. He’ll call and holler for her. For her it’s constant. Sometimes she feels like her sanity is waning.” Larry has fallen many times — once outside near his greenhouse, out of others’ sight and where his fall-alert device was out of range. A Miracle Hot Springs customer eventually heard him calling out in distress. “I can walk, but I have to be really careful or I’ll crash,” said Larry, who uses a cane or walker. Larry tries to diminish his symptoms with a healthy diet of fresh, organic food, some of which he grows himself. “I want to be out there getting my hands dirty,” he said. He used to walk to his greenhouse three or four times a day. Now he misses days. As he makes his way across sidewalk edges, patches of grass and uneven terrain, he knows one misstep could cause a catastrophic plunge. But in the greenhouse, his mood lightens and he chats about his peppers, hanging red on the vine, and columns of kale. The home was built with a private hotsprings bath, instead of a shower or tub, but steep stairs make it inaccessible for Larry now. He has to use one of the business baths. In Sherrel’s mind, shower installation is added to an ever-growing list of needed household modifications. Through the College of Southern Idaho’s Office on Aging, the Olsens signed up for 18 hours a month of respite care. Their son picks up the cost. The knowledge that more is available if needed eases Sherrel’s mind. “I wish everyone was able to afford it,” she said. Respite care means the couple can focus on things they want to do, which for Larry means completing “The Anasazi Kid,” a book about his young life that he’s working on with his editor. For Sherrel, it’s an hour spent outside with her beloved chickens or sorting through decades of photos. Before the respite help, Sherrel got a taste of feeling that she didn’t want to go on — and that there wasn’t a way out. In her still moments, she worries about how the disease will progress. Someday, she said, this phase may seem like a piece of cake compared with what follows. M 1

Please see ALZHEIMER’S, Page E4

TOP: Tawny Pirtle and adult day care owner Lorelei McGill discuss Georgee Pirtle’s care in April 2015. ABOVE: Alzheimer’s disease patient Georgee Pirtle relaxes on a love seat at a Burley adult day care in April 2015. LAURIE WELCH, TIMES-NEWS‌

LEFT: Sherrel Olsen shows the first and sixth editions of ‘Outdoor Survival Skills,’ a book her husband, Larry, wrote. DREW NASH, TIMES-NEWS‌

Laurie Welch has been a Mini-Cassia journalist for 20 years. For this story on Alzheimer’s disease, she interviewed a family in April 2015 and followed up with them this fall about the disease’s progression.

| SUNDAY, DECEMBER 11, 2016

THE BIG STORY

TIMES-NEWS

“And when it’s over with, then it’s you that’s got to get back and try to be like you used to be.” Virginia Fox, on her late husband, James “Jim” Boyd Fox

LAURIE WELCH PHOTOS, TIMES-NEWS

Rupert resident Virginia Fox shows pictures of her late husband, James ‘Jim’ Boyd Fox. ‘When you look at someone you care about in the eyes and there is just nothing there,’ she says, ‘that is the hardest thing.’

Alzheimer’s

Unpaid caregivers

From E3

The number of unpaid Alzheimer’s and dementia caregivers in Idaho; their hours of unpaid care; the value of their unpaid caregiving; and the caregivers’ higher health costs due to neglecting their own dental and medical needs.

Jim’s widow: ‘Try to be like you used to be’

Caring for a husband with Alzheimer’s disease, Virginia Fox, 79, felt devastated when she couldn’t physically or mentally do it any longer. Months after James “Jim” Boyd Fox died at 87 in May, Virginia still struggles to rebound physically and emotionally from the caregiving tasks she lovingly performed. When her children noticed the toll on her, they stepped in and said it was time to find a care facility. “I just felt helpless and hopeless. I wanted to do those things for him, but Numbers in Idaho I couldn’t. I wanted to help him, but I * NOTE: The value of unpaid care couldn’t,” she said. is based on Centers for Disease At the disease’s onset, Virginia saw only 2015 ..........79,000 Control and Prevention estimates slight deviations in his behavior from the of per-hour costs to care for 2014..........78,000 outgoing, social, hard-working man he Medicare patients in a long-term had been. As the disease progressed, it care facility. 2013 .......... 77,000 took his identity and his ability to recognize the woman and children he adored. “When you look at someone you care Georgee’s daughter-in-law: 2013 2014 2015 about in the eyes and there is just nothing ‘You don’t throw people away’ Hours 88 million 89 million 90 million there, that is the hardest thing,” Virginia said. “I noticed his eyes were blank. I’d go Tiny octogenarian Georgee Pirtle grew up in balmy California, and she hates Value $1.091 billion $1.084 billion $1.108 billion right in front of him and there wasn’t any recognition. I would tell him how much I Idaho’s weather. him, and he wouldn’t respond.” In April 2015, Georgee, who has adCaregivers’ Higher $38 million $40 million $42 million loved As his disease worsened, Jim began vanced Alzheimer’s disease, was living to wander away from the house, always Health costs with her son, Erwin, and daughter-inSource: Alzheimer’s Association walking from their Rupert home toward law, Tawny Pirtle, at their Albion home. Illustration by Kat Wagner, Lee Enterprises Burley. One time a passer-by called police. She often sat outside in a camping chair Virginia went to get him and walked him to bask in the sun — as she did in her back home. younger years. A big man, Jim fell often and required A former hospice nurse, Tawny unpetite Virginia’s help to get back on his feet. derstands Alzheimer’s, but that didn’t When he fell in the living room, she tried always make the situation easier. A nurse to get him to crawl to the ottoman so she goes home at the end of a day; a family wouldn’t have to lift him from the ground. caregiver doesn’t. “But he didn’t seem to understand what “It’s hard because she doesn’t like me,” I wanted him to do,” she said. said Tawny, who surmised that Georgee Neighbors and the couple’s children was confused about how Tawny fit into were often called to help, but asking emthe family. barrassed Virginia. Every morning as Georgee got ready for The physical exertion had a devastating the day, she demanded: “Zip this up, curl effect on her health. She needed physical my eyelashes, do this, do that, and there therapy as she developed back problems is no please,” Tawny said. and her blood pressure shot up. Lack of When Georgee was at day care, she sleep likely compounded her health probthought she was working at a store that lems. she was convinced was going out of busi“I didn’t get a lot of rest because you ness because it never sold anything. At never knew when he would get up and take home the house was baby-proofed beoff,” she said. cause, like a 2-year-old, she tried to eat Once, as the couple lay in bed, Jim asked candles and decorative soaps. Virginia why their parents had given them When Georgee’s doctor commented away. on her five-pound weight loss, Georgee “He must have thought we were just pointed at Tawny, who remembers kids, ” Virginia said. Georgee telling the doctor: “I don’t Georgee Pirtle, right, and daughter-in-law Tawny Pirtle in April 2015. A former hospice nurse, She did her best to reassure him, but his want to say anything, but she’s a terrible Tawny understands Alzheimer’s disease, but that didn’t always make caring for her motherbewilderment was evident. cook.” in-law easier. A nurse goes home at the end of a day; a family caregiver doesn’t. The smallest tasks became impossible Always on the lookout for a boyfriend, for Jim to accomplish. Virginia would ask Georgee often flirted with the cable man him to put on his shoes or come to the taon the roof or other workers who came to Tawny said. ble, and he’d just look at her blankly. Tawny said keeping Georgee in their the home or the day care. Once Georgee walked to the post office “Even when you care for a small child, home was worth the difficulty, though. “We always have to check the van and called the police on Tawny because they understand a few words like yes or no “It’s good for us and for our kids too,” when workers leave,” Tawny said. Tawny told her she couldn’t take the dog or don’t touch,” she said. Tawny said. “You don’t throw people Georgee developed incontinence out of the yard. As Jim’s confusion grew, he stopped away. We’ve been through a lot, but she and needed protective undergarments. “She told the police someone attacked recognizing the home they shared, often deserves respect and dignity, and we try Thinking she didn’t need them, she her,” Tawny said. asking Virginia if they’d been there long pulled them off in disgust. The behavior to make her feel like a valuable person.” The final straw: Georgee slipped away enough. Then he lost the ability to talk. When the Times-News caught up with took a toll on the household furnishings. from their 16-year-old, who was watch- When he was moved to a care facility, he Georgee’s family again in late summer “It’s really hard to take care of her being her, and 15 minutes later officers didn’t seem to recognize he was leaving 2016, Georgee was living in the Burley cause she is really mortified when she his home. Although he received good care wets herself and we notice,” Tawny said. memory care facility where Tawny works knocked at the door. They had found as a nurse, after more than three years in Georgee at the end of the road, hitchhik- there, he soon wasn’t walking at all. Issues were compounded at the Pirtle ing. “And when it’s over with,” Virginia said, home because the couple has three busy the Pirtles’ home. “We thought that’s probably enough,” pausing for a long, painful moment, “then “The disease really progressed. She teenage daughters. When they needed to Tawny said. “She’s in a safer environit’s you that’s got to get back and try to be was becoming paranoid, and we had the take the girls somewhere, Georgee often ment now.” like you used to be.” cops at our house a couple of times,” didn’t want to go and threw a tantrum. She and Larry used to live parallel lives. Sherrel’s own projects and aspirations kept her busy. Now her world revolves around Larry. “This has kind of just closed that gate for me and for him too,” she said. “He’s missing what he was doing as much as I’m missing what I was doing. And there is emotional trauma that follows along with that. My heart just aches for him. He’s embarrassed about it. Anytime I’m annoyed I try to think about what he’s dealing with.” When people ask how Larry is doing, Sherrel says they’re getting along but doesn’t go into detail. “I don’t want to talk bad about my husband or complain about our future,” she said. “But you need to talk to someone.”

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