Alive Magazine Spring '08 by Jen Dotson

magazine

our story is our own

an immigrant’s perspective on the national debate

glimpse & give

featuring your words & the artwork of melissa kruse

we won’t be dancing alone

sagas of a volunteer event planner SPRING ‘08

A WORD FROM THE EDITOR

Our Turn written by lauren melcher, managing editor

EVERY YOUNG WOMAN SHOULD KNOW THE BOUNDS OF CURRENT ACHIEVEMENTS SO SHE CAN ASPIRE TO SURPASS THEM.

elcome to March – time for wild weather, spring break, college basketball brackets, and… National Women’s History Month. Indeed, the National Women’s History Project has coordinated National Women’s History Month since 1987, after it was officially established by a bipartisan Congressional resolution. This year, the theme of “Women’s Art, Women’s Vision” aims to honor the “originality, beauty, imagination and multiple dimensions of women’s lives” with events and celebrations nationwide. Sometimes, though, one cannot help but wonder why we still need to formally recognize the history of women and their contributions to our society. Is it not enough that women enjoy equal rights under the constitution as part of the 14th Amendment? Does it not set us apart – even stigmatize “feminism” further, perhaps – to devote an entire month of the year to our place in history? Or, only one month, for that matter. Why not six for men and six for women? That sounds equal, and for good reason. 2

When pressed, I have trouble remembering a time I have been disadvantaged for my gender. A friend recently asked if I have ever been discriminated by an employer, or unfairly passed over for an academic opportunity for being a woman. She can think of dozens of stories her grandmother has shared with her about the struggles of being a woman in the working world. But I’m still drawing a blank. Today, one of the three leading Presidential candidates is a woman, as is Germany’s Chancellor (Angela Merkel), the President of Chile (Michelle Bachelet), and the late former Prime Minister of Afghanistan, Benazir Bhutto. Our generation of young women played on co-ed soccer teams at the YMCA as children and has always expected to be paid as much for jobs as our male peers. Our mothers and grandmothers fought the first fight, and now we are reaping the social and economic benefits. So, if we have advanced so far, why should we celebrate National Women’s History Month?

WE CANNOT LET OUR STANDARDS BECOME SO HIGH THAT THEY DISCOURAGE CREATIVITY, EXPLORATION, AND INNOVATION FOR FEAR OF DISAPPOINTMENT. Because now, it’s our turn. As beneficiaries of this great cultural shift, we must stand for something as well. And despite the gains, there are still countless places in our world where habits of gender equality do not exist. In the words of Myra Pollack Sadker, “Every time a girl opens a book and reads a womanless history, she learns she is worth less.” Indeed, recognizing and applauding great achievements by women is a way our society commonly tries to account for past inequalities and grievances. And it is necessary, because every young woman should know the bounds of current achievements so she can aspire to surpass them. But we should also remember that the most important accomplishments are not just the ones that win academic prizes or solve international crises. An entire generation of young women should not think that they are failures if they are not the ones on the cover of a glossy magazine or discovering a cure for breast cancer. We cannot let our standards become so high that they discourage creativity, exploration, and innovation for fear of disappointment.

If we do, we will never win. Instead, we need to encourage each other to be our best selves, and find ways to celebrate the everyday accomplishments as much as we do the inspirational ones. In the end, it is okay not to be the one everyone is writing about. Encyclopedias and newspapers have their place, but they certainly should not determine your happiness and self-worth, or mine. We can define ourselves in more realistic and helpful ways than just as names on lists of award-winners. And, we can write our own lists if we want to. Here at Alive, we envision a world where women are not set apart by stereotypes, but are actually valued for their intrinsic worth. A world where women are not afraid to be authentic, and where a spirit of service is just as acceptable as today’s culture of celebrity worship. We know it is possible, because every day we hear stories of real women who are doing amazing things to help their families and communities. Your stories. And we hope to hear a lot more of them. So, take control of your own history. Write it yourself, and celebrate the small achievements as much as the big ones. And never be afraid to share your story… the world is waiting. 3

table of content

H V C U F R W E

2 Our Turn a word from our editors

by Lauren Melcher

Indeed, recognizing and applauding great achievements by women is a way our society commonly tries to account for past inequalities and grievances. And it is necessary, because every young woman...

8 Spring Awakening: A New Home for Young Artists on music, dance, and other inspiring sounds

Broadway by Carina Finn

The cast is what makes this musical truly special. With the exception of two adults, the whole cast is under the age of twenty-three...

10 Gap Year to the Good Life: A Girl’s Guide to Post-High news-related stories relevant to you and your world

School Alternatives to College by Erica Hudock

Whether training to be a carpenter, serving an inner-city community or discovering the Asian culture, taking advantage of the gap year...

12 Categorization original poetry and fresh lyricss

FLAIR

creative styles & ways to add personal flair to current trends

by Christina Strong | spice collage by Laura Lewis

Put cinnamon with paprika, both are red. But cinnamon must be in front, it starts with a C. Don’t put nutmeg with thyme, one is brown and one is green. She spent all day organizing...

13 Pulling Threads Together by Laura Lewis | photography by Danica Myers

Rachel Bloomegern is a spunky originator of sweaters, hats, vests, pants and dresses... she explained that the organic handmade processes of sewing, crocheting, knitting and embroidery have...

16 One on None life from his perspective

by Colin Mcdonald | illustrations by Chris Williams

You see, at the moment there’s a myth and some research that says women are naturally more social than men. Actually, the myth has been in existence since the Mesozoic era when female dinosaurs...

18 Getting Over Guilt answers to life’s hard-to-ask questions

by Jamerlyn Brown | photography by Danica Myers

Somewhere in the distance between the advantaged and the disadvantage lies a mix of a sense of responsibility and guilt. In order to avoid a crippling sense of either of these emotions, we must first...

20 By Hand: A Volunteer’s Reflection From a Summer in Paraguay tales of travel & adventure

by Sarah Melcher

When I asked for the recipe, my host-aunt just said “four to six eggs, lots of cheese, anise to taste, salt to taste, and milk”...

Rachel Blomgren, contributing artist, is studying apparel design at Minnesota Community and Technical College. She lives in Minneapolis and spends her time making anything and everyting, loves cats and little tiny things.

Janie Jasin, contributing writer, is an author/speaker/mother and grandmother residing in Minnesota and Wisconsin. She is the author of The Littlest Christmas Tree, Heart In Hands, and Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Got What It Takes! and over 20 other audio and video productions. She is a sought- after keynote speaker and is known for her wise words and sense of humor. Carolyn Chamberlain, contributing writer, has worked for several years in the fields of fundraising and philanthropy for nonprofits and businesses, including UCLA, The Nature Conservancy, and Sacramento Region Community Foundation. Email Carolyn with questions or comments at ccchamberlain@sbcglobal.net. Christine Derdzinski, contributing artist, graduated from the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire in 2006, and currently lives and works in exciting Hong Kong as a 3rd grade classroom teacher at an international school. She also really enjoys Indian food, laughing silly, new experiences, quality time spent with friends and family, theatrical and musical events, and meeting new people from all over the world! Maggie Gordon, contributing writer, is a senior at Syracuse University, majoring in womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s studies and newspaper journalism. She regrets to inform you that she does not like long walks on the beach, but she enjoys adverbs, adjectives and compound modifiers. Becka Heikkila, contributing artist, graduated from St. Olaf College in 2007 with a B.A. in Family Studies and currently works for Feed My Starving Children, a nonprofit in Eagan, Minn. Her future plans include furthering her education in graphic design and fine arts. Laura Guzman, contributing writer, Laura is a sophmore at St. Olaf College majoring in political science and Hispanic studies. She enjoys talking about politics and has a special interest in social justice issues. When not buried under homework, Laura enjoys spending time with her friends, going to dinner with her family, and curling up with a good magazine and a hot cup of tea. ALIVE MAGAZINE, SPRING 2008 Published by Alive Arts Media, Inc. Executive Director Jennifer Dotson Managing Editor Lauren Melcher Artistic Director Danica Myers Executive Assistant Anna Gizzi

Founder and Board Chair Heather Scheiwe Board of Directors Martha Franke Vernae Hasbargen Heather Mattson Jim Scheibel Graphic Designer Laura Lewis

contributors

Erin Bahmer, contributing writer, is a sophomore attending the University of Wisconsin-Madison and majoring in nursing. She grew up in Shakopee, Minn. with two older sisters and a younger brother. She loves to swim, write poetry, listen to good music, and dance!

contributors

Erica Hudock, contributing writer, is a native of Bloomsburg, Pa. and a May 2007 graduate from Mansfield University of Pennsylvania. She spent her last semester in Arlington, Va. interning with the Student Press Law Center where she covered high school censorship. Erica now serves as an AmeriCorps VISTA with Big Brothers Big Sisters Lehigh Valley in Allentown, Pa.

Melissa Kruse, contributing artist, holds a B.A. in psychology and art, and has an undying passion for God, photography, and international travel. Currently living in Australia, she hopes to soon move to New York where she can further immerse herself in the world of fashion and photography and discover where else God might lead her.

Heather MacKenzie, contributing artist, is an illustrator who loves to draw and watch planes at the airport. A graduate of St. Olaf College and Minnesota College of Art and Design, she is also a huge USC football fan and a Police Reserve Officer in Edina, Minnesota.

Colin McDonald, contributing writer, graduated from Drake University in 2007 with a B.A. in magazine journalism, and is currently pursuing his masters in poetry at Hamline University in Saint Paul, Minnesota. He is the recipient of a Hearst Journalism Award for feature writing and a Drake Choir Award for Best Female Laugh.

Sarah Melcher, contributing writer, is an avid reader of Alive, as well as a true language lover. She enjoys t-shirt skiing, singing (in the shower and out), and listening to Spanish music. She hopes to one day live in Latin America and work in a nonprofit organization dealing with cultural understanding between the Americas.

Meredith Shay, contributing writer, is a Disney and American Studies connoisseur. When she isn’t busy filling out job and grad school applications, she enjoys singing in choir, coloring, reading, crocheting afghans, baking cookies, fostering kitties from the humane society, and listening to thunderstorms (the kind that make you want to hide in your bed)!

Christina Strong, contributing writer, is a 19-year-old from Detroit, Michigan. She is majoring in Communications and Business Management at Henry Ford Community College. She loves writing, and has been doing so since age five. Christina is currently working on a screenplay and children’s fantasy novel.

Christopher A. Williams, contributing artist, is a Minneapolis-based freelance artist who is currently exploring mediums of painting, animation, screen-printing, illustration, and experimental music. He says his inspiration comes from “the subconscious mind, and the belief that the purpose of creation and beauty isn’t about how things are perfect.”

As you begin or continue this practice, I would like to offer some suggestions for more rewarding & effective giving that I have gleaned...

25 Brokenness by Erin Bahmer | drawing by Laura Lewis finding God in unexpected places

stories of service and volunteering

GLIMPSE one-sentence answers to our favorite questions

I see differently now. I see peace risen above our ugly, broken hearts. Those same broken hearts that we thought were so put together. Those broken hearts that were hiding...

26 We Wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Be Dancing Alone by Maggie Gordon

Failure, I have found, is the best incentive for my organization to work harder. Over the past four years, we have had a lot of failures and set backs, which thankfully means we have learned to work...

28 What Makes You Come Alive? by Alive readers | photography by Danica Myers

Africa, iced coffee, good conversation, roadside statues, Danish family camp, Peter Eide, serving others, dancing in the car, and friends - the ones that you can do nothing and everything with...

GAZE

30 Domestication | Inertia | Speechless photography by Melissa Kruse art for artâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sake... and your viewing pleasure

how would you change the world, if given the opportunity?

what makes you come alive?

perspectives on life from someone older and wiser

table of contents

L B G Y Z I D L

perspectives on life from someone older and wiser

22 Heartfelt Charitable Giving by Carolyn Chamberlain | illustrations by Heather Mackenzie

Digging into the psychological depths of what the female thinks, experiences, feels, and perhaps even wants, my images often uncover a reality of the modern female otherwise overlooked.

32 Our Story is Our Own by Laura Guzman | photography by Christine Derdzinski

Now we live a life of prosperity and privilege. From this recognition of the immense, unfair privileges and opportunities I have been given comes my vision for what is needed for our country and our world.

34 Mirrors, Daunting Questions & Teddy by Meredith Shay | collage by Becka Heikkila

I cannot get that thought of vocation out of my head, especially after realizing a few months ago that this job is not what I want to do for the rest of my life. The process of figuring this out is still ...

36 Who Was There? by Janie Jasin | illustration by Heather Mackenzie

This is about you. This is about who was there to see you crawl and then stand up. This is aboutyou: a baby, a toddler, a child, a teen, a student and a young woman... this is about you growing up.

cover artwork by danica myers back cover artwork by anna gizzi

A w g a n ke i r n p S

y adwa Bro on ts

: g in

A new home for you ng art is

written by carina finn

hen one thinks of Broadway musicals, often the thing that comes to mind is tall blonde chorus girls in skimpy, glittery costumes and gorgeous (but sadly, untouchable) men singing Golden Age showtunes under bright lights. But recently, a new breed of musical has taken the Great- White Way by storm. The current headliner of this group is the Tony Award-winning show Spring Awakening, a new musical with music and lyrics by Duncan Sheik.

sity of Maryland College Park Campus, hoping to replace the original cast in future productions. The casting call requested “genuinely young” singer/actors aged 16-21, and it seemed as though everyone within driving distance who knew about the show was there. As they crowded us cattle-style into an auditorium to give us a pre-audition pep talk (“you’ll get to sing 16 bars, no musical theatre songs allowed”) and hand out Open Call FAQ sheets, the atmosphere was charged with a killer combination of nerves and excitement. The hundreds of hopefuls were separated into groups of ten and had approximately a minute and a half each to show their stuff to the casting director. The reviewers are calling it the new Rent, but to many fans, it’s much more than that. The show is based on the controversial piece by German playwright Franz Wedekind, Spring’s Awakening. The setting is 19th century Germany, a time and place when children were to be seen and not heard, and the mysteries of life are revealed only through timely experience. The drama begins when naïve fourteen year-old Wendla asks her mother how babies are born, and she is told simply that one must love her husband in order to have a child. Meanwhile, Melchior Gabor, the brilliant “radical” schoolboy, is off reading Faust and telling the other boys how it is really done. When the two meet, it is obvious which explanation for the phenomenon of childbirth is correct. The show’s plotline addresses a variety of other difficult issues, mainly through secondary characters, such as homosexuality and domestic abuse. Although Spring Awakening has a definite dark side, it is not all misery. In addition to deep, tear-jerkers like “Left Behind,” the show features fun jam-songs such as “My Junk” and angst-filled, almost “emo” anthems where the entire young cast has a chance to blow off the steam caused by all of that drama and literally jump all over the stage.

“I got to see it before it was wildly popular, and I feel really lucky for that. It really addresses the problems facing our generation without being patronizing, and still manages to have a fun side,” said Katy Johnstone, a Virginia native who has twice made the trip to New York to see the show. Multiple viewings are not uncommon. Many of those who attended the open call in Washington mentioned seeing the show upwards of five times, and experiencing the full gamut of emotions from crying through Groff’s heart-wrenching “Left Behind” to giggling along with the girls in “My Junk.” The New York Times may have said it best – “Broadway may never be the same! This brave new musical, haunting and electrifying by turns, restores the mystery and the thrill to that shattering transformation that stirs in all of our souls.”

The cast is what makes this musical truly special. With the exception of two adults (currently being played on Broadway by Stephen Spinella and Kate Burton) who play all of the adult characters, the whole cast is under the age of 23. In fact, many of the show’s young stars are still in high school. Spring jump-started the careers of many of its young actors, including John Ghallager Jr., who originated the role of Moritz and won the Tony for Best Featured Actor in a Musical for his performance. Jonathan Groff, who plays Melchior, received a nomination for Best Actor in a Musical. It is clearly dear to the hearts of the original cast, especially Lea Michele (Wendla) who turned down her dream role of Eponine in Les Miserables to stay with the show. Spring Awakening has become the ultimate aspiration for many young actors, as evidenced by the massive turnouts at the open calls being held across the United States and in Canada. I attended the Washington D.C. call in midFebruary, and by 8 am, throngs of young hopefuls lined the hallways of one of the theatre buildings at the Univer9

ressure and intimidation from others can create excessive stress and even a sense of loneliness. Add the serious decision of what to do after high school and you have a concoction for catastrophe. To cope with uncertainly, many high schoolers around the nation are seeking college alternatives to help them solidify a more successful route to surviving the “real world,” whether or not it leads to higher education. A 2007 article from the Chronicle for Higher Education by Rona Wilensky, titled “For Some High School Students, Going to College Isn’t the Answer,” points out that many students are driven to college by mentors who “are motivated by concerns about equity and economic competitiveness. They want all students to have access to the economic advantage held by college graduates, and they want high-school graduates who can compete in the global economy.” Despite this societal desire, Wilensky wrote that “no one has clearly demonstrated that college is truly the right answer to the problems at hand.” That theory is further confirmed by the National Center for Education Statistics, which claims only 35 percent of college students actually graduate in four years. One way to gain an advantage with the cost of college is to seek further job training, according to Susan Abel Leiberman, author of The Real High School Handbook.

“In the twenty-first century, the demand for employees with little or no job training will decline,” Leiberman wrote. “The greatest growth area will be in work that requires two or more years of formal education but not necessary a four-year college degree.” The federal Department of Labor’s Office of Apprenticeship developed regional bureaus to arrange for such job training, lasting one to four years. Following placement, the applicant is guaranteed a supervised, on-site training, which includes technical and diversified instruction, according to the Web site, www.doleta.gov. The Department of Labor also runs the Job Corps, a government program started in 1964 to provide training opportunities in more than 100 occupational areas for young adults ages 16 to 24 and assists in obtaining a high school diploma or GED. Job Corps members also receive a basic living stipend, housing and career counseling for up to one year after completing the program. Although productive and profitable, such job-training programs do not fulfill the needs of the confused, high school student seeking more out of life. The time taken for such introspection after high school is often referred to as “the gap year.” The New York Times ran an article in 2006 by Tanya Mohn, titled “How to Become a World Citizen, Before Going to College,” which recognizes that a gap year “was once considered the province of the well heeled, but many students of various financial backgrounds now pay all or part of the cost. And as college costs soar, more families see the moves as good investments, because their children often return more focused.”

Laura Cutler, a Massachusetts native and current senior at Trinity College, found her alternative with City Year, a volunteer service organization started in 1988, to be a worthwhile investment. After being accepted, Cutler was posted at a San Jose, Calif., inner-city elementary school where she gained first-hand experience working with children. During her 10 months of service, she took part in tutoring and mentoring programs for the students and also created a school newspaper program–something the school had never before offered. Cutler said she has always wanted to be a schoolteacher and her experience in City Year only helped solidify that dream. “Working with the kids really opened my eyes to the opportunity that City Year was giving me,” Cutler said. Despite its short history, City Year has more than 1,400 volunteers from diverse backgrounds, who participate in direct community service across the country. The program was created based on the belief that young people can be empowered to change the world. People ages 17 to 24 can apply for a service opportunity to one of 18 different locations, including Los Angeles, Detroit, Seattle and Johannesburg, South Africa.

land through the Global Service Corps, an international volunteer program launched in 1992. After living with Buddhist nuns and teaching young children for nine weeks, Klang realized her short-term experience completely changed her long-term outlook on her goals. “I learned that I was not cut out to be a teacher,” Klang said. “I loved teaching my kids, but I learned I wanted to work on an individual level. Also having done this experience, I have become more independent and more mature, which helps me get part-time jobs more easily than in the past.” Klang is now a student at North Carolina State University with ambitions of becoming a family and marriage counselor. Whether training to be a carpenter, serving an inner-city community or discovering the Asian culture, taking advantage of the gap year has proved successful for many high schoolers struggling from inner-conflict and fear of not being able to compete in the “real world.” “I thought I had everything planned, and that’s how things were going to go,” Klang said. “I learned that experiences will always change what you plan, and you just have to go with the flow and appreciate what those experiences teach you.”

Some of Cutler’s friends and family expressed skepticism when she told them of her decision not to go directly to college. But Cutler said her experience only helped her mature. “I think a lot of people say [City Year] changes them, but it gave me an opportunity to become a better person in this new environment,” Cutler said. “It gave me a chance for this person that I am to shine through.” Karla Klang also chose another route following her high school graduation. At 18, the North Carolina resident applied for a volunteer program – one that took her halfway around the world to Thai11

U poetry by christina strong spice collage by laura lewis

F written by laura lewis photography by danica myers

Rachel Bloomegern is a spunky originator of sweaters, hats, vests, pants and dresses, and I found her with a feather poking out of her long ponytail. She stands out for creating her own garments, as an attempt to direct herself away from a ready-made world. When we spoke, she explained that the organic handmade processes of sewing, crocheting, knitting and embroidery have awakened her awareness of how things are created. “It starts with something as small as a thread or piece of string and your hands turn it into an object,” said Bloomegren. She feels when she places herself in the process of creating, the line blurs between her and the object as it slowly becomes a part of her and a record of her actions. She added that “It makes you feel so human because you are physically using your hands as a tool to make something.” Being a tool in the creation of objects makes them less disposable to Bloomegren. She reflects that a scarf she knitted when she was 16 still carries memories from high school. Beyond her personal connections to the garments she makes, Bloomegren recently began to think more technically about constructing garments. She has taught herself many skills through books and by taking classes. She has found it is difficult to merge the technical aspects of making with creative ideas and the more technical her garment is the more she has to focus on how that technique can translate her initial inspiration. This can cause frustration with a project, so Bloomegern works on multiple projects at once. This way she can move from hand embroidering to cutting a pattern, giving herself a variety of tasks. She has learned that a vital part of making is not to rush a project, to take time and think about the outcome. Her advice is to visualize or sketch before beginning a project. Even though she works on multiple projects at once she strives to follow her mother’s advice of finishing every project she starts. Her mother told her that even if she hates the garment she will learn something from finishing it that will make the next endeavor easier.

Each project is fed by multiple resources. Bloomgren frequents the library and local knitting stores to browse magazines and books for patterns and inspiration. Once, she spent an entire night studying the book Knitting Pretty until she understood the patterns. The Quilts of Gees Bend is another book that has inspired her sewing. Her projects begin with an idea and are nourished by glimpses of images, artists online, and existing clothes. For example, she was inspired by a fleece pattern with a

western style and designed a dress to fit the feel she wanted. She can be inspired by anything, the way a building is created, nature, people, all things she comes into contact with. Being inspired by materials, Bloomegren frequents fabric warehouses like S.R. Harris and used stores like Savers, the Salvation Army, and GoodWill to get old fabric, tablecloths, and bedding. She is a large collector of materials, receiving vintage silk from a friend, 70’s yarn from the owner of the restaurant where she works, and fabric she has traded with friends. She is especially delighted by fabric with unique patterns, and by vintage fabrics. For ideas from Rachel, turn the page! 13

Tips from Rachel

Start small, embellish what you already have. Embroider on sweaters, dresses and skirts.

Rachel makes â&#x20AC;&#x153;yarnâ&#x20AC;? out of thin strips of fabric tied together. She then uses large knitting needles to make a rug.

Add lace to collars and hems or cut out a piece and add as a patch.

Get familiar with your own body size. Take measurements of your bust, waist, hips and shoulders so you can see what your body is shaped like instead of what patterns and existing clothes are shaped like.

To make your own patterns study the clothes you already own. You can take apart old clothes cutting along the seams to see what the different fabric shapes are like. Then trace these pieces to create patterns. If you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to take something apart just lie down the separate areas of fabric and trace them. Add an inch for seam allowance.

Familiarize yourself with different fabrics by draping them onto a dress for or person. Pay attention to how the fabric folds and lies. When choosing fabrics it is a good idea to crumple it and see how wrinkly it gets. Stay away from really thin or silky fabrics, they are more difficult to sew.

Knitting and crocheting are fairly simple.Even complex garments are only 1or 2 stitches used in varied ways. Even if the pattern looks difficult the longer you take to analyze it the easier the language becomes. The next project you try will be easier.

Work with friends. It is stimulating to work on projects together so you can ask each other questions and get inspired by each otherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ideas.

Use muslin or old fabric to practice simple pieces.

R story by colin mcdonald illustrations by chris williams

few months ago I was sitting alone in a Starbucks when a middle-aged man approached me and asked if he could have a seat at my table. Except for a woman sitting at the opposite end of the store and a couple of baristas working behind the counter I was pretty sure I’d been all alone. From the corner of my eye I looked to see if the other half-dozen or so empty tables were littered beyond consideration with pastry crumbs and Diana Krall CDs, but it was well past five o’clock, past the appropriate time for Reduced-Fat Banana Bread and Diana Krall CDs, and the place was spotless. Is it possible that this man is blind? I wondered. Had the inscrutable café-friendly guitar music playing over our heads led him to believe that the store is not empty, but teeming with Dianna Krall wanna-be’s, all taking up space to sip lattes and revel in each other’s talent for breasts? I gave my consent as nonchalantly and abruptly as I could, as if I’d simply been beaten to the punch; put down my book, smiled in a hazily upward direction, and returned immediately to my book, trying to think of a way to ask the man where he’d like me to put my legs. That is until he started talking and I was sure he would think no one else was listening if I didn’t pretend to be used to “this sort of thing,” which as far as I knew was “sort of” being on Candid Camera. You see, at the moment there’s a myth and some research that says women are naturally more social than men. Actually, the myth has 16

been in existence since the Mesozoic era when female dinosaurs routinely gathered in vast shaded areas and nothing I say can be fact-checked. In fact, any archeologist will tell you that while female dinosaur fossils are often obtained in clusters, male dinosaur fossils are often found dispersed across hundreds of miles, very awkwardly. “It is practically by accident,” I could imagine an archeologist saying, “that we even know male dinosaurs ever existed.” The reality is that when men assemble we often do so with a purpose or goal in mind. Rarely will you overhear one man say to another, “It would be nice just to talk.” We don’t know of any great little coffee shops and, unless there was some sort of game room, would have no idea what to do with each other at one anyway but help point out the number of different tables and how far apart a few of them are. We will probably never understand the idea of going for a walk, discussing a good book, or arts and crafts in relation to another man (in fairness, we will probably never understand the idea of arts and crafts in relation to arts and crafts either). I would go as far to say you’re more likely to spot a two man, two-car caravan heading to a loud and violent movie based on a book written by ESPN than see two men walking together, but I’ve come to find out that we don’t even go to the movies together. What then? Here are some examples of recent, purposeful male gatherings I’ve either been apart of or attempted to word more ambiguously: Meeting at the gym to play racquetball; meeting at a bar to meet women; meeting inadvertently and making plans to meet at a more advertent time, subconsciously and without eye-contact. Oh, and we get together if one of our cars breaks down. Notice not a word on this list mentions meeting simply because you hear something unsteady in the rhythm of a friend’s way of speaking or because you have good news or an exciting thought to share. In other words, what would happen if men got together just to talk? For one thing, we’d put it together pretty quick that being able to articulate an idea and being able to have an idea is actually kind of the same thing. And eventually, I think, we’d get that the majority of the things we did together in the past (i.e., bouncing balls, aiming at things, not talking) are conducive to talking. My dad used to tell me that whenever he didn’t want to talk with a guy but felt that guy could use someone to talk with he would invite him to the movies for the notion of togetherness a dimly lit room full of comfortable seat cushions provided. But the movies are actually a great way for men to begin de-pantsing the notion that we are naturally socially retarded. I’ve taken my own advice on this a handful of times in the past month and while on one occasion I could hear an older couple in the back interrogating the where and whatabouts of my heterosexuality, and on a separate my friend actually put his jacket in my seat in effort, I think, to create a semi-lifelike distance between the two of us, eventually that

friend, and others, and I had something to talk about, comments positive and negative, questions obvious and not so, if for no other reason than that in each instance we hadn’t accomplished much of anything in the last couple of hours and we knew we needed something to show for it. It turned out that the man in the Starbucks had just gotten back from a funeral in the Netherlands, a place, he said, where men and women, strangers and acquaintances, almost always made time to sit and talk with each other. After spending two weeks far from the place he’d learned as an adult to call home he wasn’t immediately used to the look of half-empty tables and chairs, and not saying anything to someone for the sake of avoiding, and over time preserving, an uncomfortable situation. His admission surprised me, I think, because in my heart of hearts I agreed with it. Almost every time I’m out in public I return to my apartment with the impression that human interactions in general have become more humiliating and subsequently more scarce. At Starbucks, for example, you’re guaranteed to be asked how your day is going, but if you actually attempt to answer that question with something other than “good,” “staying warm/it’s hot,” “I work at a job,” or cutting straight to the chase: “Tall Christ Died For Our Sins cinnamon latte please,” you’re also guaranteed to be handed your order in a paper to-go cup. That phrase itself, “How are you?” has become the verbal equivalent to nodding your head at another human being or petting a golden retriever; a sort of internal reminder that some part of you is still alive and waiting to be introduced. And yet in no time this man and I were talking about how easy it would be for a company like Starbucks to mandate the use of a mug in place of a paper cup to the millions of consumers whose days are going “good” and want to enjoy their order and listen to Diana Krall CDs at the same time, what people in the Netherlands do with plastic bags, what it’s like to referee a soccer game in Des Moines in the rain, and the band, The Owls. In no time we were getting a lot out of not doing anything together. 17

Getting Over Guilt

written by jamerlyn brown photography by danica myers

Q: A:

How do I balance a feeling of guilt with the reality that I cannot wholly and independently erase all of the injustices and inequities in the world?

One of my college professors posed the question best, “What do you do when you realize that the shirt you’re wearing took a 10-year-old seven eighteen-hour days to make?” This was by no means a novel idea, but became rather like a fleeting question appearing and disappearing somewhere in the stratosphere of my consciousness. Accordingly, I began to wonder about the history of my $59 brown, silk shirt. Whose hands touched it before I did? Who took the time to make the incredible cinching at the waist? How long did it take to make it? A few minutes later, I was lost in my concerns and anxieties. The impeding reality was ready to strike: the painstaking craftsmanship dedicated to making my shirt was probably rewarded a measly $2.50 an hour. Maybe even that estimate was too generous. And there I sat, leisurely reflecting, reading the latest issue of Essence, and ready to chug a chai tea from Starbucks. I didn’t have to worry about if and where I would get my next meal or having to work extra hours to provide necessities to my family. I considered myself extremely lucky in that moment—a gross understatement. All of this was followed by a question that arises every day: do I simply file this thought back somewhere behind my grocery lists and the essay due the next day? Or, do I allow guilt to plague my every thought? Naturally, we feel an obligation to our fellow man. Seeing someone in need incites within us some unquestionable passion to reach out and help. However, the disparity need not be so wide as the divide between one individual here in the United States and a child laborer across the globe. It can be much closer to home and not as glaringly obvious. A good friend of mine did not realize she was offending anyone during a discussion at college about her parents’ commute to work until one of her suite mates pointed out that her parents still lived in a ghetto and depended on a bus to take them to and from work. Somewhere in the distance between the advantaged and the disadvantage lies a mix of a sense of responsibility and guilt. In order to avoid a crippling sense of either of these emotions, we must first come to terms with a few realizations that are essential. We would not be able to lead much of a life if we were to spend every waking second questioning why some people live more fortunate lives than others. If it were to become a monomaniacal obsession, it could quite possibly drive us to the point of insanity — not actually solving any problem. This is mainly due to the fact that as individuals, even as a society, we must understand that the world is much too large and plagued with too many issues to change it in one week. It would be like trying to turn the Titanic on a dime. A much more effective strategy would be to strive for improvement first, and then change over time. Once each of us accepts this, we should embrace our privileges and look at them as means to help other people. Working with the opportunities we have been given can help make us better citizens that are in positions to aid others and fulfill our human duties.

ByA Hand: volunteer s reflections from a '

summer in Paraguay

Build fire. Bake. Repeat. Why do I think this is fun?

story & photography provided by sarah melcher

During the summer before my senior year in high school, I traveled to Paraguay to live and work for eight weeks with Amigos de las AmĂŠricas. This organization sends youth into Latin America with the purpose of promoting youth leadership and fostering cultural understanding in the Americas. During my time there, I noticed many cultural differences between the United States and Paraguay and had many experiences that demonstrated the value of such cultural immersion. One specific experience, however, sticks out in my mind as demonstrating the importance of being exposed to cultural diversity. One day in mid-July, I was traveling 20

home to my Paraguayan host-family with my American partner, Selene, from a midterm meeting with our organization. Sitting on a Paraguayan bus, we bought a curious snack served to us by a young lady. We first decided to buy it because of the warm, doughy smell wafting from the basket. Chipa, she called it. Chipa? What is this amazing delicacy? It is crispy on the outside, warm and gooey on the inside. Not breadâ&#x20AC;Śmaybe corn flour and cheese? We decided that we had to learn how to make it so we could take home some Paraguayan culture to our families. Thankfully, our host-family enthusiastically complied. They felt honored to educate us on traditional Paraguayan dishes, which they believe to be the most delicious in the world.

As we began, Abuela, as we called our host-grandmother, educated us on the far-reaching effects chipa has had on the rest of Latin America. Apparently, the Brazilians love chipa so much that they have begun selling it on their buses as well. The Brazilians tend to portray it as a traditional Brazilian dish, when really, it is all Paraguayan. This of course agitates the Paraguayans a bit, as everyone in South America believes their culture to be the most important and their dishes the most delicious. Witnessing this South American rivalry, especially verbalized by my frail-looking but oh-sotough host-grandmother, made me laugh. And don’t get them started on Argentineans… We began by putting a large chunk of pork lard into a huge bathing bucket. Slightly amazed by this phenomenon, as cooking with lard is usually frowned upon in the United States, I jumped in to help by mushing it around with my hands. Paraguayans are never precise with their measurements and they use few tools; most is done with hands. I discovered that this way of cooking was so much more satisfying than using mechanical mixing bowls and plastic spoons. After the lard, we added eggs, anise, cheese, starch, corn flour, salt, and milk and mixed it all up with our hands. Again, the amounts were arbitrary. When I asked for the recipe, my host-aunt just said “four to six eggs, lots of cheese, anise to taste, salt to taste, and milk”. Their

only firm requirement was that we had to add as much cheese as possible. My host-aunt instructed Selene and me to bring the dough over to the table, where we began separating it and shaping it. We made squares, bricks, pretzels, and doughnuts made out of chipa. At the end, we had hundreds ready to bake. At this point, I ventured out of the kitchen to where Abuela was making the fire. I was amazed by her strength and perseverance–building that fire was no easy task. She had to add enough wood to make a small bonfire inside the dome-shaped brick oven, and then remove the wood and fire in order to put in the chipa to bake. The idea was that the

dome caught and preserved the heat long enough to bake it. At first I regarded this process as inconvenient and unnecessary, as I was used to cooking in the United States with such luxuries as electric ovens, but this experience changed my mind. When we wanted to bake the second batch, we had to rebuild the fire and wait for the oven to heat up again before again removing the burning wood to, once again, make room for the chipa. Even though baking chipa was different in Paraguay than it would be in the United States, I didn’t mind all of the so-called inconveniences. In fact, my favorite part was what Americans tend to avoid in their cooking: actual human labor. In the United States, cooking and other household chores are so mechanized–the main goal is to simplify the task and reduce the work and time involved. That may be the way we live, but I believe it’s important to know how other people live as well in order to better accept and appreciate our differences as well as adopt new traditions. I discovered the joy of cooking when I went to Paraguay; in fact, working all afternoon made the final product so much more meaningful to me. When the second batch was finished, we all sat down and ate chipa for dinner, a wonderful reward for the hard work we put into making it. And I sat and gave thanks for being given the opportunity to participate in such an old Paraguayan tradition, as it helped me learn to appreciate life, food, and culture much more fully.

Living in Paraguay, speaking the language, learning the culture, and eating (and cooking!) the food was an experience I will treasure forever. Now I know that diversity, as well as exposing oneself to diversity through travel, is an important part of accepting other cultures and thereby clarifying one’s own way of life. Once exposed to another culture, one is never the same—people adopt cultural traditions and assimilate them into their own lives. Already I cook with my heart instead of my automatic egg beater. What’s next?

L When I was growing up, I often camped and skied with family and friends. Perhaps because I was a teen during the “ecology movement,” I decided to major in environmental studies in college. My first job was as a ranger naturalist in Yosemite National Park. I still love the outdoors and am a supporter of several environmental organizations, among other causes. Although my parents did not have a lot of money, they were generous in their volunteer efforts in the community. From my family I learned to live the belief that “to whom much is given, much is expected.”Many readers of Alive Magazine have already begun to volunteer and to make charitable contributions to organizations in the local community and beyond. As you begin or continue this practice, I would like to offer some suggestions for more rewarding and effective giving that I have gleaned from over 12 years of work in the fields of fundraising and philanthropy. As Bill Clinton says in his new book Giving, “Everyone can give something. And there’s so much to be done, down the street and around the world. It’s never too late or too early to start.”

Heart First

Trust But Verify

Begin first with the question, where does your heart direct you? Is it to your church, the homeless shelter in your community or alleviating poverty in Africa? Start by noticing the tugs of your heart or gut when you read the paper, talk to friends or search the Internet. It may be an organization or it may be something that has been a field of interest for you, such as education, peace, or the arts. Or it may be something entirely new.

When you have identified an organization, be sure you know a few things about it. First of all, in order to be a nonprofit, it must have 501(c) (3) Internal Revenue Service status. Second, how effective is the organization? You want to be sure a charity is legitimate, well-run and efficient in carrying out its mission. There are a growing number of websites which monitor a charity’s effectiveness, such as charitynavigator.org and guidestar.org. Charitywatch.org. assigns a letter grade from “A” to “F” to charities. To receive a grade of “B” or better, charities must allocate at least 75 percent of money raised toward charitable programs (not fundraising and general expenses), and openly share audited financial statements and income tax forms, among other criteria.

For Kay Warren, wife of author and minister Rick Warren, the tug came when Kay was reading a magazine article in 2002 while recovering from treatment for breast cancer. The article described the suffering of children in Africa orphaned by AIDS. “It was as though someone just ripped this huge blindfold off my face, and it haunted me,” says Kay. “I realized that God was calling me to care about people with HIV.”

How Much? Next, assess your capacity to give. Consider an annual budget for charitable gifts. Then decide how much you want to give to each organization. For a perspective, 89% of American households give to charity, with an average gift of 3.2% of income. Be mindful of the timing of your gift. Many nonprofits are on a calendar year, but some, including most colleges, are on a fiscal year beginning July 1. If you made a gift to a college on July 15, the gift would support the new fiscal year (7/1-6/30).

Know to whom you are contributing. Giving can be confusing with over 1.5 million charities in the United States alone in 2006. After completing my MBA at UCLA, I wanted to give back to the Anderson School of Management. For several years I made annual contributions to UCLA, assuming my gifts were directed to the Anderson School. It wasn’t until I began working in the fundraising field that I realized my gifts never made it to the Anderson School! Of course, nothing is wrong with supporting UCLA, but that wasn’t my intention. My advice is to educate yourself so you know your donation is going where you intended. Also, understand that your gift counts on many levels. First of all, it provides support for a mission you believe in. However, it also lets the charity count you as a supporter. The number of supporters is often important, especially for colleges where the percentage of alumni giving is a criterion used in ranking schools. Also, an organization that can claim a large number of contributors may have more clout when it comes to advocacy and lobbying work.

written by carolyn chamberlain paintings by heather mackenzie

Easy Giving Individual charitable giving in the U.S. in 2006 reached almost $223 billion, according to the Giving USA Foundation – a figure that is 4.4% over that of giving in 2005. How can you make gifts to nonprofits? Traditionally, contributions were made via check, or through gifts of appreciated stock. Now you can also give via the Internet. Even small organizations usually have ways to give through their Web sites. New sites are emerging that allow easy ways to contribute. Network for Good (networkforgood. org) encourages gifts starting at $10. Because of the efficiency of the Internet, small contributions are still meaningful. Over time you will find your own preferences for making gifts. Some people like to give a small amount to many organizations. I have one friend who pools all of her charitable dollars to make the largest gift possible to one organization. It’s your money and your choice.

WOMEN HAVE THE POWER AND PASSION TO CHANGE THE WORLD FOR THE BETTER...WHERE WILL YOUR JOURNEY OF GIVING TAKE YOU?

The More the Merrier Keep in mind how you might maximize your contribution. Does your workplace have a matching gift program? Be sure to use that. Can you pool dollars with your friends who have similar interests? A book group can pass a giving basket at each meeting. Does the organization have a donor who has made a pledge to match gifts? This past year, my church wanted to grow the endowment for the campus ministry program. One individual pledged a match of every contribution up to $5,000. This meant that each contribution was doubled. Also, keep track of your contributions, because you may be able to take a charitable deduction on your taxes if you itemize. If you want to learn more about philanthropy, there are many resources. The Women’s Philanthropy Institute, a program of the Center on Philanthropy at Indiana University, helps women to develop their capabilities as financial donors, and to fulfill their philanthropic potential. A website oriented towards youth is www.youthnoise.com. It has a lot of information about programs, as well as being a place where young people can connect and work together towards a better world.

Power and passion Women have the power and the passion to change the world for the better. The IRS reported that in 2001, 3.4 million or 46% of the nation’s top wealth holders were women.This represents a 36% increase from 1998. These women had a combined net worth of $6.291 trillion, an increase of nearly 50% from that reported in 1998. I take inspiration from Nobel Peace Prize winner Muhammad Yunus, who started a program of micro-credit in Bangladesh to make small loans, primarily to women, to start home- and village-based enterprises. These women could never qualify for loans from traditional banks. I have found a nonprofit based in my hometown of Davis, Calif., which supports similar projects (www.freedomfromhunger.org). I’m grateful that my parents positively influenced my attitudes on giving. As I continue on my journey of personal philanthropy, I am moved by Thomas Merton’s words “compassion is the keen awareness of the interdependence of all things.” Where will your journey of giving back take you?

B written by erin bahmer drawing by laura lewis

So this is brokenness. I think I like it. I cried so much That I see differently now. I see peace risen above Our ugly, broken hearts. Those same broken hearts That we thought were so put together. Those broken hearts that were Hiding...that are still hiding God knows what. Our facaded hearts needed exposure. So they met. And as ugly and concealed as they were They met in an ugly and concealed way. A shameful, disgraceful, hurtful way That affected those whom we love, More than just our broken selves. Somehow through the tears Somehow through the words Written, spoken, prayed, and thought, We have arrived honestly broken. We know it, they know it, as God knows it. And somehow through all of this, At the same time we are so broken, We are a bit more put together. 25

G We Won’t Be Dancing Alone written by maggie gordon

had a sinking feeling in my stomach, warning me not to get my hopes up, and cautioning that our target date might pass us by again. When this project started, we knew it was going to be hard, but had no idea just how many obstacles would be in our way.

There was no formula for us, and I can safely say we owe all our success to Facebook, It is incredibly challenging to create a service event when there is no lollipops and paper stars. Not that we’ve had template for such a project at your own university. It requires passion, many successes. persistence and innovation. I wish I could say Syracuse University’s Honors Student Association is a super-organized, hyper-successful club on our campus. After all, that’s been our vision throughout my four years at SU. But even in my last semester of college, we are still a tiny group, toddling around, hoping to find the strength to stand up.

We have bombarded friends with Facebook invitations, handed out lollipops with “Cancer Sucks” written on them, held movie nights, and sold Valentine’s Day goody bags. If you did it in high school, chances are HSA has tried it too. Then a couple weeks ago, as we updated each other on our progress, I finally said it out loud:

“This is going to happen.” When we decided four semesters ago to plan a benefit formal for a local children’s hospital, HSA will finally host “Here’s Looking At You Kid: we knew it was out of reach. Our first attempt A Benefit Formal” to raise money for the Golisano Children’s didn’t go as well as we had hoped, and our Hospital at Upstate Medical Center on April 11, 2008 – even if we original date of April 2007 came and went. are dancing alone. Failure, I have found, is the best incentive for my organization to work harder. Over the past four years, we have had a lot of failures and set backs, which thankfully means we have learned to work incredibly hard.

As soon as I said these words, I noticed I was grinning like an idiot, but as I looked around the room, I was glad to see I wasn’t the only one. Our service chair, Meg, who had originally come up with the idea as a tribute to her cousin, looked even happier than she does when her Red Sox beat my Yankees (not that it happens often, of course), and Katie, our financial chair, finally saw the light at the end of the longest tunnel we had ever been stuck in.

We have been denied funding, missed deadlines, held programs with minimal attendance, and filled our storage space with In that moment, it was as if all our setbacks melted away and our luck T-shirts that just won’t sell. Why, I wondered pulled a U-turn onto the right track. earlier this year, did we ever decide to take on The next week was packed with activity. HSA sold blue and purple this formal? And for most of the fall semester I paper stars at SU’s student center. During the two-day period, we 26

surpassed our goal of $120 by an extra $25, a figure that might seem marginal to some, but served as a beacon of hope to us. Moments after I finished hanging the purchased stars outside the Honors Office, we opened the small amount of mail we had accrued over the past couple days. Having mailed out donation requests to more than 200 local businesses only a few days earlier, we had low expectations for the contents of our mail stack. But as Katie opened the letters, I paused the progress of our weekly meeting and pulled my legs toward my body, wrapping my arms around my accordion legs and biting my bottom lip. “Two nights accommodations in Toronto,” she said as she read the contents of one of the first envelopes, and I began to shake again. My body couldn’t contain the enthusiasm bursting forth from my core. Katie continued to open the mail, announcing gift certificates and prizes, which we will raffle off days before the dance. And I said it again, “This is going to happen.” The first-year students at our meeting couldn’t quite understand why so many of the upperclassmen were smiling, shaking, and

laughing in glee. “Of course this is going to happen,” I could sense them thinking. “After all, we’ve been working on this for months.” Our momentum truly picked up with the star campaign, and for the first time in our existence, we were unstoppable. Three days later, we received news that our entire funding request ($1,000) was approved by our student government, meaning our DJ and venue were taken care of, and the money we had raised up to that point (a total of another $750) would cover our other expenses entirely. Not only had we just paid for our entire formal, after receiving SA funding for the first time in the history of our organization, but after crunching the numbers quickly, I realized we had already turned a profit for the hospital. It’s not much at this point, having not yet put tickets on sale, or held our raffle. But now we know this formal will not only happen, but it will actually achieve the goal of raising money for the hospital. I texted the executive board upon hearing this news, and received a call from a teary Megan less than two minutes later. What had started as a tribute to her three-year-old cousin had grown into something much bigger than Meg, myself or HSA. “It’s all been worth it,” I she said, and I couldn’t help but agree. When we hit the dance floor on April 11, I will be thinking of Meg’s cousin, but more than anything I will be thinking of the hard work and perseverance of a tiny, baby organization – the tears, the exhaustion, the frustration, and the smiles.

Africa, iced coffee, good conversation, roadside statues, Danish family camp, Peder Eide, serving others, dancing in the car, and friends â&#x20AC;&#x201C; the ones that you can do nothing and everything with. Laura Nielsen, 26 Laughing uncontrollably with the people I love over a cup of hot chocolate. Lisa Skildum, 21

what

makes

Art, creativity, and my own imagination. Risa Dotson Eicke, 30

you come

Sitting next to a mountain waterfall and admiring the Lord’s beauty from the largest trees and boulders to the smallest wild flowers and velvety moss growing on the boulders. Ja’Nae Osgood Traveling the world, if for no other reason but to find the true meaning of home! Corinne Thomas, 22

Climbing to the top of a mountain and Nothing makes me feel more alive and being rewarded by God’s spectacular excited than a musical thunderstorm with handiwork. terrifying crashes of thunder! Laurie Dotson, 50 Meredith Shay, 23 A bowl of cereal! It’s my comfort food. Jenny Dugan, 29 (+5) sssshhhh :)

What makes me come alive is having adventures and discovering new people and places, always trusting in God to The sound of point accompany me in the next step that I take. shoes pattering Christine Weible, 23 across a hardwood floor. Beauty...in an orphan’s smile in Mozambique, in Melissa Attias,19 the sunset, in a good cup of coffee shared with my sister, in a deep, gut wrenching laugh with a friend, in the mountains, in the fresh fallen snow... I come alive when ever it takes me by surprise! Kovonne Compaan, 31

I come alive when I am laughing. Vicki Epper, 31

No matter how tired I am or how many things are going on, when I hear my baby girl laugh, it melts my heart and makes me realize what is really important in life. Beth Kean, 24

Music makes me alive. Molly Nolan

WELCOME TO GAZE, OUR NEW GALLERY DESIGNED TO SHOWCASE AN UNINTERRUPTED SERIES OF ARTWORK BY A YOUNG FEMALE ARTIST… NOT TO ACCOMPANY AN ARTICLE, BUT SIMPLY FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE!

photographer

ruse

Inspired by the complexity and ambiguity of the female, my photography often explores the juxtaposition of common preconceptions of the one-dimensional female set against the complex reality of what or who the female truly is. Digging into the psychological depths of what the female thinks, experiences, feels, and perhaps even wants, my images often uncover a reality of the modern female otherwise overlooked.

I inspect the traditional role of the â&#x20AC;&#x153;housewifeâ&#x20AC;? in my series Domestication, challenging the created image of a domestic wife by suggesting typical actions of such a woman might in fact be subtly imposed on her in a way that leaves her restricted and confined.

The series entitled Inertia presents the female frozen at rest and continuing in the same mundane motion of existence unless or until some external force interferes and ignites her with inspiration and life. At times there can be a certain death of the ‘self’ that occurs when we as women – or humans, regardless of gender – ignore or are unable to feed certain passions that generally serve as driving forces in life. The result is a tendency to turn cold, to withdraw, to “turn away”, in a sense, from life itself. 33

Speechless confronts the restricted voice – and further, opinion – of the female. There seems too often to be a barrier females must actively and persistently fight against so that they might have an influential and memorable voice in this world. I hope to engage the viewer with each and every photograph, eliciting from them a whole string of their own interpretation – thus reflecting their own values and forcing them to face what they believe to be true of our society – and women in particular.

Our Story Our Story Is Our Own Our Story Is O Our Own

written by laura guzman photography by christine derdzinski

individuals

reform

community

vision respect

y parents came to this country almost 23 years ago with few resources and a newborn baby girl, my older sister. They were doctors who came to Minnesota to study on student visas in the hopes of gaining knowledge and skills they could take back home. They didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t intend to stay in this country forever, simply to benefit from the educational opportunities that were nonexistent in Central America. What was a detour to the states became a permanent stay in the Midwest, a foreign land that quickly became familiar. There was nothing to go back to in Guatemala save for the family that had been left behind but not forgotten. Guatemala is a land of great beauty, richness of culture, and utter lack of opportunity for the vast majority of the population, even the most educated. The sheer deficit of political, economic, and social development in Guatemala is frustrating, but it is a story repeated in every region of the globe. After having two more children in the United States and finding jobs working as physicians, it became clear that the life possible for my siblings and me would be exponentially easier than a life back home, a place that was unknown to us. Recently, my parents recounted to my siblings and I the struggles of the early years, a time that seems so distant. They survived on macaroni and cheese and

dignity

ground beef dinners, living in a small apartment, and taking the bus to work and school. They recalled how excited they were when they were invited to the homes of friends and were served steak dinners. They ate until their bellies ached because they were not sure when they would eat such a feast again. To see how far we have come as a family is humbling and fills me with immense gratitude and pride. The struggles of my family are no worse or more trying than those of any other immigrant family, but they are our own. Now we live a life of prosperity and privilege. From this recognition of the immense, unfair privileges and opportunities I have been given comes my vision for what is needed for our country and our world. The rights of immigrants have historically been undermined in times of economic hardship or national security threats, and the contemporary situation is no exception. In the upcoming elections, both sides of the political aisle have taken up immigration reform as a political issue. As a firstâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; generation immigrant, I agree that immigration reform is fundamentally important for immigrant communities. If done in a comprehensive manner, it allows all immigrants to be active members of society and emerge from the shadows created by fear of persecution. It can eliminate the push and pull factors that motivate migration in all countries.

Beyond a concrete vision for immigration reform policy, I wish for the issue of immigration to be redefined and reframed. The country as a whole, regardless of political persuasion or personal background, must find a way to reevaluate how we treat immigration. The immigration issue has been so dehumanized that at times I find myself unable to watch political pundits debate the issue of legal and illegal immigration and national security. It is deeply personal for me when immigrants are reduced to a commodity within the service economy or when we are reduced to a security threat to be contained because that is not what my family and the majority of immigrant families are. My immediate and extended family is not here to do harm to the country, nor are most immigrants who willingly overcome the seemingly insurmountable obstacles in search of a better quality of life. There is a need to re-humanize the issue, a need to realize that every immigrant, regardless of national origin, is a father or mother, sister or brother, friend, and neighbor. When we talk about immigration, we cannot forget that we are really talking about immigrants. Immigrants are individuals with a rich tradition to preserve, a culture to share, and a contribution to make for this society that is necessary. I imagine a world where there is real unity and freedom from the fear that causes us to objectify one another so we can justify the denial of one anotherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s individual human rights and dignity. A world built on mutual cooperation and understanding where the issues discussed during election times include how to allow immigrants to live dignified lives, how to strengthen relationships through cultural understanding, and how to make love and respect the defining features of every community.

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written by meredith shay collage by becka heikkila

Mirrors, Daunting Questions, & Teddy

have a confession to make. Two, actually. I talk to myself in the mirror. And, I still sleep with my teddy bear, Teddy. How old am I? No, I’m not 4, though some days that would be preferable to being a 24-year-old college graduate. I’m not crazy either. Talking in the mirror helps me sort through some of these wild thoughts that come along. Thoughts like, ‘Meredith, are you sure this is what you want to do with your life?’ And on the days when the answer to that question eludes me, and life seems too overwhelming to handle, Teddy is there to comfort me as I try to make my mind stop. I am a planner. The kind of person who needs to have at least some idea of what is coming next otherwise I don’t know how to function. I’ve always been this way, and it’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it’s not always helpful either. In high school, I knew I was going to go to college and that I wanted to major in music. Having that ‘figured out,’ made finding a college easier. Once I got to college, my major changed, and that was okay because I quickly re-planned my life accordingly without skipping many beats. But somehow, I managed to avoid planning arguably the most important part of my future – what I was ‘supposed’ to do with my life. That daunting, awful, ambiguous question loomed in the far (and dark) corners of my mind. Rather than try to figure it out and address it, I avoided it at all costs. To be fair, I was certainly putting effort into finding a job. But finding a job is not the same. I had a few mirror conversations with myself about vocation. ‘What is my vocation? What am I ‘supposed’ to do with my life?’ I asked the person in the mirror. It’s not that I expected my reflection to have the answer, but I desperately hoped that one day it would cry out, “Meredith! You are supposed to be a Disney Princess!” Fabulous! Wonderful! Done. But, as I am sure you can imagine, that scenario never played out. 38

Instead, I found a job after I graduated and have been at it for nearly two years. But as much as I have learned, I cannot get that thought of vocation out of my head, especially after realizing a few months ago that this job is not what I want to do for the rest of my life. The process of figuring this out is still just as daunting as it was before. If you’re a planner like me, not knowing and the unexpected are uncomfortable. We need plans, a road map of sorts. It doesn’t have to be absolute or insanely specific, just some indicator for direction. I tried talking to my parents about this. That’s what parents are supposed to do, right? Have answers for many (but not all) of the hard questions. Well, let me tell you, mine were remarkably and annoyingly unhelpful. When asked if they would give me some ideas of things they thought I would be good at, they instead asked me what I wanted to do! Obviously, if I had an answer for that I never would have asked them in the first place. If my parents couldn’t help me, who could? I no longer had any professors to talk to, advisors to prod, or a career center at my finger tips. I had never felt more lost. At night when I went to bed, I would squeeze Teddy tightly and whisper to him all of my frustrations. Teddy was a fantastic listener, never telling me I was crazy or telling me things I did not want to hear. That said, he did not provide many answers either. I know that’s surprising. But just getting those thoughts off my chest cleared my head enough to start thinking more productively so that a conversation with a co-worker made a light bulb go on.

My co-worker asked some of my co-workers and me a question about volunteer experiences at lunch one day. We talked about organizations we enjoyed and the kinds of things we liked doing with those organizations. I talked about kids and how much I love working with them, especially teaching them to play tennis or helping them read. And as I left that conversation and went back to my desk, my vocation – the mysterious something I was ‘supposed’ to do with my life – suddenly smacked me in the face. “A teacher!!” my reflection joyously proclaimed. So, the planner in me finally had the direction it needed to start planning. I was still a little lost, though. There are many ways to become a teacher, and I wanted someone I trusted to tell me they thought I was making the right decision. This time, I emailed my good friend and former advisor asking him if he would be willing to meet with

me for lunch one day soon. Honestly, I expected him to be too busy, but to my surprise, he very eagerly took me up on it. As I used to do in college, I came to the meeting with a number of options knowing nearly exactly what I needed to do for each one. This always made my professor laugh a little and shake his head – what did I need him for if I already had it figured out? But, he knew I just need some affirmation. After a good conversation about teaching and some catching up, we parted ways. Jim, as usual, did not tell me what to do, or what he thought I should do. And the conversation itself was not as important as what I learned from the meeting. I learned that my college advisor was still willing to play that role even though I was no longer his student. It has been a number of months now since that meeting, but I have my direction. I know where I’m going. With graduate school essays and applications to write, life is very busy. However, having some sense of vocation, and knowing there are still people out there who will help me with the tough questions is a tremendous comfort. Oh, and the mirror conversations? Well, they helped me sort through my thoughts, so I have to admit that they still occur every great once in a while. But I’m no longer waiting for my reflection to say, “Meredith, you should be a teacher!” Or a Disney Princess, for that matter. 39

L written by janie jasin illustrated by heather mackenzie This is about You. This is about who was there to see you crawl and then stand up. This is about you: a baby, a toddler, a child, a teen, a student and a young woman who is looked upon through life. This is about you growing up.

Who Cared? Little did you know the worry, the tension and the panic that those who cared for you faced? They probably read every article, magazine, book and brochure on the subject and still you were a mystery. You created excitement from the moment you arrived. As a baby fussing and crying you were a mystery. Was it a pin sticking into you, a wet diaper, gas, hunger, fatigue or the need to be held? Through bouncing and rocking, feeding and burping, changing or holding you the fussing ended. Someone cared and figured it out. Teachers, neighbors and friends and relatives made suggestions. You responded to some and ignored the others. You felt you knew best or you needed to do it yourself or you thought others didn’t really understand your uniqueness. You repeated this scenario over at every stage. You want to be different than those who raised you. You are on the 40

cutting edge of life and more. You are not like them. Or so you think. You learn it your way and at your own pace. And you fail and succeed and question everything. And at each stage in the wings were those who, cared, loved, prayed and involved them selves in your life. They were your team.

Aunt Em Was Watching Me My Aunt Em is now ninety-two years old. She was away for many years and then just recently we have been connecting and conversing. One day she said, “When I lived with your mother and father from 1939-1942 I could hardly wait to get home from work to see what you were doing.” “I bought you roller skates when you were three years old and when I came home you were skating around the furnace in the basement gritting your teeth and pushing your doll buggy.” “You were determined from the beginning.” When I was small I really didn’t know her depth of caring. Iwas self-involved with my life. How blessed I was to hear of her caring.

And Who Looked At and Cared About You? Those who cared affected your self-image. Maya Angelou, the poet and writer, didn’t speak as a child. A traumatic incident affected her in that way. She was quiet for seven years. Oprah Winfrey was molested as a young girl. It deeply affected who she is, what she does and what she has become as an adult.

Lost Without A Compass I wandered aimlessly through college and never found a role model. In those years many women took the marriage road. If I couldn’t learn how to study I could get married. I was free at last. As an only child I was finally out of the house and away from the rules. I veered off with a husband. I was without goals beyond a wedding veil. Shortly after, I became a mother.

and adult education there are many to meet on your way to discovering your capabilities. Do something and see who you meet in the near vicinity. Try something! Take a risk, jump out and see who applauds. It is all there!

I have often heard people say in hindsight...

Success and fulfillment could happen to you. SINCE NONE OF US CAN SEE OURSELVES AND WE CAN SEE OTHERS, WE ARE DEPENDENT ON THOSE WHO SHINE THE LIGHT UPON US. “It seemed like the thing to do at the time.” I am not sorry for the beautiful children I have, but that through all of it I kept thinking. “Why am I on this planet?” Discovering our own gifts and talents is the key. That uniqueness leads to the success we all seek. It becomes clear as to what we are doing on the planet. Since none of us can see ourselves and we can see others, we are dependent on those who shine the light upon us and give us feedback and affirming ideas. In business, community, churches, neighborhoods, schools

It always happened to me in a different way than I expected it to happen. Through marriage and trauma, child raising and workseeking, I met all of the angels I needed in the village of my ambition. A mentor, a friend, a pianist, a publisher, clients, spiritual guides, new friends from across the world, neighbors and pals are all around me. They reside in the village of my heart. They come and go, they change and return. They have played a part at times even when I didn’t know they were there. They watched until I asked for help and they stayed around until I could crawl or walk or run. May you too find them and fall in love with your life, your family, your work, your state, your country and your world.

ALI V

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ission&visio

ALI

TS ME

Alive Arts Media, Inc. is a non-profit organization that exists to empower young women in their creative, educational, and professional pursuits. We accomplish this by offering a high-level internship program, through the publication of Alive Magazine - an online publication featuring young writers and artists, and Picturing Everyday Beauty: a project to add insight to the viewfinder.

Today's teenage women are tired of being talked down to, talked about, targeted only as consumers, and being left out of the conversations that shape our culture. This generation of women are digitally-savvy, well-read, deep thinking, articulate individuals who are burgeoning with leadership ability. Given affirmation of their talents, feedback to cultivate growth, the education and tools to succeed, and a firm understanding of others' experiences to ground them in the reality that their dreams are attainable, these women will become the business and community leaders who will shape the culture for tomorrow's children. It is a story that speaks of hope. Alive Arts Media operates under the belief that everyone has a story to tell. As such, every level of AAM's business model and programming creates opportunities for individuals to tell that story. Utilizing a framework of mentorship and community, we facilitate dialogue between individuals at different stages of professional development that aids emerging writers and artists in their adolescent and early adult years. As an organization, we are run primarily by high level internships that function as short-term staff positions (editorial, graphic design, and public relations). By keeping the entire production of Alive Magazine in the hands of women 25 and under, we eliminate their competion with professionally established individuals, offering them greater responsibility than would otherwise be available at such a young age.

“DON’T ASK WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS. ASK WHAT MAKES YOU COME ALIVE AND GO DO THAT... BECAUSE WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS IS PEOPLE WHO HAVE COME ALIVE.” -howard thurman

Alive Arts Media responds directly to the following areas of societal need: - Leadership & Professional development/advancement of young women. Women still make 76 cents to every dollar made by men and, although women earn a higher GPA on average than men, their post-college professional goals decline as college progresses. Alive Arts Media constructively fosters professional acceptance for women in the working world, and equips adolescent women with tools to succeed. - Need for media reform, specifically the lack of positive media available in the young women's market. Alive Magazine presents a constructive solution that presents intelligent, realistic models for young women. - Personal development for young women, including body image, self esteem, and confidence. - Advancement of underserved women and youth in the local community with education and professional opportunities for college acceptance and postgraduate employment

staff&interns

Jennifer Dotson, executive director, loves to experiment with Thai cooking, barter voice lessons for homemade dinners and trampoline-bouncing lessons, and photograph weddings – especially when she can capture details of the day like cake icing swirls and beautiful beadwork. She escapes the office by cartwheeling down the hallway, and scares her roommates by rearranging the furniture in their house weekly. Lauren Melcher, managing editor, can’t leave a bookstore empty-handed and is happiest when she is buying tickets to new places. She loves cooking with her housemates, writing in coffee shops, and following the Presidential race... in person, whenever possible. A life-long NPR fan, she also loves creating playlists on Pandora. com and going on photography expeditions with friends. Danica Myers, artistic director, loves traveling and becoming a cultural collage of a person. She couldn’t live without nature, music that has soul, and being surrounded by literature and people who are genuine. Her favorite books are children’s stories that are deeply philosophic and poetic. She has a great propensity for inventing words and making simple things in life into strange and elaborate metaphors.

Anna Gizzi, grant writer and executive assistant, has been very busy as a full time volunteer at Alive through the St. Joseph Worker Program. She is enjoying finding ways to continue to stretch her creativity, applying for graduate programs next year and always doodling in her free time.

Dayna Sudheimer, public relations intern, is a go-getter who enjoys the small beautiful things in life that make her happy. She can’t go a day without making people smile and she lives for the most important people in her life, her family and friends. She awaits the day she can travel the world and make the difference she wants to see. Kelsey Halena, public relations intern, is a senior at the University of St. Thomas, studying creative advertising. Originally from St. Cloud, Minn, she has a family of 5 – including a princess of a cat named Lola. When she has a chance to step away from her textbooks, Kelsey finds herself painting while canoeing, being with her friends and pretending to know how to cook.

Céline Merlaud, public relations intern, loves being a “French girl living abroad”, learning English vocabulary everyday and being misunderstood because of her accent (even though she has already mastered a convincing Minnesoooota one). Her dream is to be able to fluently speak as many languages as possible and to live in lots of different countries. Laura Lewis, graphic design intern, is a recent graduate of the Minneapolis College of Art & Design. She spends most of her time reading, walking, making books, and thinking about the underpinnings of the universe.

Carina Finn, staff writer, loves acting, singing and dancing… so she spends most of her time in the theatre building at her college. She travels a lot, and loves shopping for absolutely anything and driving her Mustang too fast on canyon roads.

Jamerlyn Brown, staff writer, enjoys being a self-proclaimed New York transplant. While her heart remains with Connecticut and all of New England, she loves the city’s availability of Thai food and pizza at any hour of the day. Her obsessions with the French language, movie soundtracks, and The Artist Formerly Known as Prince occupy most of her thoughts.

“It is my hope that all children, boys and girls, will see this mission and be inspired to reach for their dreams, because dreams do come true.” Lt. Col. Eileen M. Collins (1956-), First Woman Shuttle Commander, March 5 1998 in the White House

“I have never been especially impressed “I’m not afraid of storms, by the heroics of people who are convinced they for I’m learning are about to change the world. how to sail my ship.” I am more awed by those who struggle to make one small difference Louisa May Alcott (1832-1888), after another.” the author of Little Women

“My world did not shrink because I was a black female writer. It just got bigger.” Toni Morrison (1931-), the winner of the 1993 Nobel Prize in Literature

Alive Arts Media, Inc. 1720 Madison St. Ne, Ste. 300 Minneapolis, MN 55413 Change Service Requested

Ellen Goodman, the journalist awarded the 1980 Pulitzer Prize