“ALW’s Life Tips” by Allen Loibner-Waitkus

ALW’S LIFE TIPS Allen Loibner-Waitkus

#1—If you tell someone you made a #2 in your pants, they will never suspect you of making it up. The uses are countless.

#2—There are more legitimate reasons to be violent than there are to be mean.

#3—Invest in quality pens and sunglasses.

#4—If you are ever uncomfortable in a situation, leave. If you don’t have a good reason to leave, make one up. If you can’t think of one, feel free to borrow my #1.

#5—Take care of your bartender, and your bartender will take care of you.

#6—It’s really hard for someone not to like you if they think you like them.

#7—Wear sunscreen. Seriously.

#8—The higher your level of education, the more valuable your time is considered.

#9—Tips should start at 20% and go up the better the service. If you think your waiter or waitress deserves less than 15%, then you may need to speak to management about the business’s quality of service.

#10—Never argue anything that can be definitively proved via a simple Google search.