A tale of two kidneys Susan Ball | Attending Physician, Internal Medicine, WCM

A tale of two kidneys

Susan Ball Fiction

Well this is weird.

I’ve been in planes before. Of course I have. Not often but still. Usually we’re warm and kind of cozy and only really aware of an occasional bump or sinking feeling. But here, well, wow, this is different. We’re both freezing and vibrating in this jelly stuff. And we are right next to one another instead of separated. There’s no thumping big vessel and its bifurcations feeding us on either side. It’s kind of nice being this close together. I call her Ney of course. What else would I call her? Actually I have no idea if she’s a she or a he. It’s not something we ever talked about.

So anyway there we were riding along in the car in our guy. A great guy, by the way. I just want to say that about him. Provided a good home. Didn’t poison us. Once in a while a nice microbrew came washing through but mostly it was pretty standard stuff and we did our job without incident. Something was off with his heart and we did a little extra filtering but it was no big deal really. And there was the virus a few years ago. Like a swarm of gnats they all came and started planting themselves; obnoxious and rude little things and we couldn’t wave them away because haha we don’t have any hands. A couple of them were super cocky, taunting us, saying they were taking over and they’d done it before and it was unnerving. Ney and I looked at each other with raised eyebrows and we were a little uneasy. But our guy made his move and some super glue type stuff came through and those viruses just froze up in their virus-making factory and soon they were totally gone. That was a relief I’m telling you.

So we were riding along and I think our guy was humming with some music and suddenly there was this huge jolt and big noise like dropping a cement truck onto a barn. And the jolt nearly dislocated me entirely but then it was very quiet except for some ticking sounds and it was awfully dark and things seemed to get very slow. Sometime later I was aware of some wailing sounds, very sad sounds around us. I really cannot say for sure what happened but then there was this very bright light and some weird sensations and now here we are vibrating from the airplane engines and we are both freezing.

I’ll take over from here. Kid loves to tell a story but sometimes gets the coming and going mixed up. It never would have been possible a few years ago. Our guy having the virus meant that if he perished all the tools in the shed would go with him. Not that Kid’s a tool. Nor am I, thank you very much. But all of us, every aspect of our guy, we’re like a big engine humming along and we pitch in together and support and depend on each other. We can’t survive without the support from each other. And Kid’s so right about our guy. Just a fellow in a life. Ended so abruptly it was really unexpected and suddenly we were going dark and quiet and slowing down to just about nothing. And instead something remarkable happened. Because basically Kid and I and a lot of the others, we were all fine. And truly, the support we get from each other can be shared. We can get the support we need from others in another guy. Or girl for that matter, we don’t discriminate in any way let’s be clear and adamant about that! But Kid is right about that virus. It threw everyone off, not just us. Thank goodness for that super glue or whatever it was. Still, those nasty gnats left a bit of a stain and it seemed we were deemed tainted. Our goods were never appealing, we were flung out, rejected, left to perish along with all our hardworking colleagues. But not any more! We are riding in this freezing, vibrating, jelly-like whatever it is because we are on our way to a new home. To do our amazing stuff in a new engine, a new host! It’s so exciting. Actually, it’s two new engines, Kid and I each into two different hosts. I’ll

miss Kid, it’s true, but I’m good on my own and so is Kid. And another utterly remarkable thing is that these hosts also have been visited by those annoying and reprehensibly obnoxious little viruses, too. In the past. Stained. A bit. Just like us. Years ago they never would have been offered new parts but times have changed, yes they have. And actually, I might not be supposed to say this, but our new hosts go to the same office for their upkeep. I know, right? How weird is that? It’s great! I will be sitting in a chair and there might be Kid, sitting in a chair right next to me! It just makes me glad, for Kid, for me, for our new hosts to get a new chance. We’ll miss our guy. Others miss our guy and we are grateful to him. New connections and lots of care will show us the way to continue to do what we do best – filter and exchange and accept and toss back and make super urine for our new hosts. Wow.