3 minute read
Hope and Healing, Cup by Cup
BY LAUREN RAMIREZ (ZETA XI, UNIVERSITY OF NORTH CAROLINA AT GREENSBORO)
I haven’t actually sat down to be present in my grief. Since the moment our 8.5-month-old daughter Izzy died of a congenital heart defect in September of 2022, I’ve been looking for every way possible to keep myself busy. I hoped my constant state of movement would help heal the cracks that had broken to the very core of who I am. I prayed endlessly, unceasingly, that the nightmares and the guilt and the shame would stop. I often felt exhausted by my own overplanning and underestimating how much my body needed rest, but I wouldn’t stop; I couldn’t stop, because then I might feel everything all at once, rather than in small ways when I caught my breath throughout the day.
So, I did what any perfectly sane grieving mother would do: I decided to open a business. Dog-eared Coffee Company was born mere months after our second daughter passed away. I hustled during that time – hard – and amidst my work with my full-time job as a writer, being the mother of a 5-year-old and trying to trudge through grief, my husband and I opened our dream shop. We named it Dog-eared Coffee Company in the hopes that, like turning the corner of a good book, it would be a place to return to, to find solace and comfort in. We put books and authors and quotes that inspire us everywhere.
We partner frequently with organizations that ignite hope and compassion in our community, for everything from literacy initiatives for kids to working with the local Humane Society and food banks. We included a play area for kids, but let’s be honest – it’s mostly to let parents finally sit down with a drink they can enjoy while their little ones occupy themselves for more than six seconds. We talk about our Izzy girl, our Izzy bee, in everything we do there.
The week we opened? I found out I was pregnant with another daughter. We couldn’t have been more broken and more completely enamored all at the same time. Several dreams came true as nightmares started to become a little more spaced apart.
Our eyes crinkle with tears and laughter nearly every time we share stories of our girl with our regular customers. But with every cup poured, a tiny piece of our hearts heals. It’s been a way to connect with others who understand the bittersweetness of loss while creating a space filled with hope and, if nothing else, a soft place to land for a while.
We don’t know that the shop will always be our dream, because we’re constantly thinking of new ways to give back to the congenital heart disease community and to keep doing as much good as we can in Izzy’s name. We’ve established a group for other families going through this awful ordeal called Hopeful Hearts of the Triad, and together with this group and the coffee shop, we’ve been able to host blood drives and fundraisers to give gift cards to families in the hospital and items of appreciation for the nurses in the pediatric cardiology intensive care unit at Duke.
But for now? Dog-eared Coffee Company is a place where we honor tiny footprints, brew big dreams and keep a little girl’s memory alive, one sip at a time.
You can learn more about Dog-eared Coffee Company, located in Clemmons, North Carolina, at dogearedcoffeecompany.com.
