Pearls of Wisdom

Learning to Fail Upward

Failure is a necessary part of life. It proves you aren’t complacent and shows you are stretching beyond your own perceived capabilities. So why is it so hard to embrace these moments of learning? For many, the old adage "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right," creates anxiety and can prevent us from trying new things. Learning to ditch perfectionism and embracing failure can be freeing.

Perfectionism kills qualitative and quantitative productivity. It veers us away from grace and flexibility. Perfectionism is particularly dangerous when setting out to accomplish a long-term goal. When you’re stuck ruminating on perfection, it's hard to get past the planning stage. It leaves no room for testing, taking calculated risks, reevaluation or opportunity to elevate the final project.

When we focus on the journey, we allow the infinite possibilities of success to roll in. We become more open to different methods of achieving the overall goal. A workflow then becomes a way of mindful living—rather than a monotonous procedure.

Ditching perfectionism isn't be a one-and-done thing; it’s an active choice you have to make over and over again. We must actively choose to strive for excellence over perfectionism everyday. You can achieve this by reframing your language and thoughts whenever you catch yourself getting dragged down by its heavy weight.

Similarly, fixating on one piece rather than the journey to the end result can cause you to lose sight of the motivating force behind your goals.

For example, I recently set a goal at work of completing eight reports in one day. I typically spend two hours per report, but I wanted to push myself to complete more than my usual four before I left for a long weekend. In the end, each report required more leg work than usual, and I only worked on seven and completed five.Did I achieve my goal? No. Did I beat myself up over it? No! My goal was pretty audacious, but it pushed me to accomplish more than I would on a typical day.

When clients say they need help setting realistic goals, what I hear is a fear of failure. If you only set goals you can easily achieve and focus on doing everything perfectly, you rob yourself of room for growth and improvement. Instead, set the bar high, strive for excellence and celebrate the preservation of your mental resilience.

Cheyenne prioritizes her day's lofty goals from a coffee shop patio near her Nashville home.

Listen & Connect

Catch Cheyenne on the January 28 episode of ® Love Listen Lead for more on breaking from perfectionism. Follow her on ® Instagram @amusing_millennial.

By Cheyenne Baker, Pi–Coe College. Cheyenne is a performance coach who helps women end perfectionism and leap out of their quarterlife crisis. With a penchant for expressing her thoughts through writing and amusing rants on her Instagram stories, her an eclectic style, heart of service and zen vibe help her fully embrace life. Her signature program, The Graduate's School, is specifically geared toward recent college graduates trying to navigate the real world. Follow her on Instagram ®@amusing_millennial.

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