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Purposefully Unleash Yourself and
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Reclaim Your Joy
Founder, iStartandFinish.com
YOU CAN BE SET FREE
Purposefully Unleash Yourself and Reclaim Your Joy
Belinda Enoma
Dunamis Press
© 2014 by Belinda Enoma All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations in articles and reviews. Please do not violate the author’s rights by participating, encouraging or supporting piracy of copyrighted materials. Published by Dunamis Press P.O. Box 337, Chester, NY 10918-337 www.dunamispress.com Dunamis Press titles may be purchased in bulk for special events. For more information, please email BulkSales@DunamisPress.com. ISBN 978-0-9822855-7-2 Library of Congress Control Number 2014935697 Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. Scripture quotations marked (CEV) are from the Contemporary English Version © 1991, 1992, 1995 by American Bible Society, Used by Permission. Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked MSG are taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. Scripture quotations marked AMP are taken from the Amplified Bible. Copyright 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. Cover design: Tami Roos Interior layout: Amanda MacCabe Printed in the United States of America
Contents Foreword You Are Invited To A Freedom Event
xiii xv
The Usual Excuses 1. I’m Not Good Enough 2. I’m Bone-Tired and Can’t Continue 3. It’s My Fault So I Have To Remain Here 4. I’m Not Ready To Let Go 5. I’m Scared! 6. I Cannot Wait Anymore and I Quit! 7. I Don’t Have Courage 8. I’m Too Old!
1 4 7 9 12 16 20 22
Strategies To Free Yourself 9. Be You 10. Just Say NO 11. Keep Some Things To Yourself 12. Push Forth and Trust God 13. Pay Attention 14. Wipe the Guilt and Practice Selah 15. Do Some House Cleaning 16. Pin Point and Use Your Talent 17. Speak It. Call It.
26 36 38 45 52 61 66 74 80
Recap: Seven Keys To Unleash Yourself Epilogue Acknowledgments
84 87 95
"You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." - Jesus Christ of Nazareth
Foreword
I
t is a great honor for me to write the foreword to the book You Can Be Set Free. In a world full of broken people with deferred dreams, God sends a seed, a key that can help the hurting, mend the broken and rekindle dreams! The title encapsulates the totality of the book and the message: Y-o-u C-a-n B-e S-e-t F-r-e-e ! Pastor Belinda has written a book that is bound to set you free! The simplicity in style makes for an easy read and also can be used as a guide for more in depth study. This can be used as a tool to help set others free too. She imparts great wisdom on dealing with excuses, handling your affairs and situations with discretion. She does not only help you to identify things that will hinder you from fulfilling your dreams, but also gives you practical tools to help you experience freedom. She delivers to you the key that will unlock your future. This is indeed God's invitation to you to be free! Praise the Lord, there is a solution to your problem. She concludes with the definiteness of purpose, with the purpose to change! Get ready for change! Rev. Dr. Charles Ndifon President, Christ Love Ministries International Johnston, R.I. USA
You Are Invited To A Freedom Event
I
n the process of empowering and equipping people to live their best lives, I realized that a big problem among women of different cultures worldwide is the quest to conform to the norm and place their lives, desires, and dreams on the back burner. I have also seen that when women attain a certain age or status, they become complacent, too relaxed, and forget all about themselves and the reason why God placed them on this earth. For example, many women forget about themselves and their needs as soon as they get married or have children. They give up embracing and appreciating the true beauty given to them by God. The realities of life set in, babies are born, teenagers are unveiled, children become adults, and life just continues. Somewhere along the line, they wake up and say: “Oh my God, where have I been all these years? I remember when I used to dress sophisticatedly. I remember when I used to go to the hair salon to get my hair done…when I used to enjoy my life…when I used to...” I call this the Recollection and Regret phase.
You Can Be Set Free
In this phase, you think about the past and you are filled with regrets. That is, you start believing that you have wasted all these years, thinking the past was better. I should know because I have been there. As a mom with three young children, my life is always busy with little time for myself. One day, a friend sent me a picture of me in my twenties. I was glowing. Not because I looked younger, but because I saw how I purposefully ensured I looked good at all times regardless of the circumstances. I began to ask myself questions and concluded that I didn’t fully embrace the beautiful me created in the image and likeness of God. I was too busy with my obligations to recognize that even a machine needs to be oiled and serviced. If the machine is overworked, it could lead to excess heat and even breakdown. I was the machine, really. I had adopted the supermom status that had to do everything and if I didn’t do it myself, it wouldn’t be done properly. As far as I was concerned, I was already blessed with a good husband, beautiful, talented, and healthy kids, so life was fine. I had told myself to let it be and relax, and in the near but far future I would find time for myself. However, I soon discovered that despite all these blessings, something was missing. I said to myself, “Yes, I am a wife. Yes, I am mommy, but what about me? Me, Belinda? What about what I want? Does anybody care?” Just like an overworked machine that can heat up, possibly mess up, and not function properly, I was agitated and fed up. I couldn’t take it any longer. I wanted to live my best life and I definitely wasn’t comfortable with the status quo. The annoying part of it all was that I knew how to reclaim that missing piece, but circumstances wouldn’t allow me. xvi
You Are Invited To A Freedom Event
Money. Finances. Dollars. Situations. Then walked in frustration. Like a thief in the middle of the night, it entered boldly full of not-so-pleasant thoughts of unfulfillment and recollections. I suffered from multiple bouts of comparisonitis. You know what I mean -- when you start talking about how all your friends and people you know are doing very well except you, blah, blah, blah... I pondered, “Maybe this ministry thing isn’t working afterall. Maybe I should just focus on family, career and business. Why do ministers of the Gospel have to struggle? Didn’t Christ come to give us abundant life? If I just pursue career and business, what about those souls assigned to me, who will lead them to Christ? What about people who are expectantly waiting to hear a word from the Lord through me every day? What about people who have not killed themselves because of just one word from God that changed their hearts? Why do I deliberately want to miss my boat? Why do I want to disobey the Lord?” I had many questions. I kept asking, “Lord, why is it so hard? If you have truly called me, why are we struggling? Why are things so hard? I have fasted, prayed, quoted Scripture, and done everything that I can. So what now?” I even said, “Lord, you have blessed me with degrees, certifications, and gifts. What on earth is going on? Answer me Lord!” Silence. Or so I thought. When we pray, God gives us answers but we don’t hear because, most likely, it’s not what we want to hear. xvii
You Can Be Set Free
It may be a whisper “wait” but we can’t wait because what we see looks so huge and we can’t deal with it. It may be the direction to “go ahead” but we don’t move because we just don’t believe that it is God talking. This is because to go ahead involves risks that we aren’t prepared to take. It may be the answer “no” but we refuse to listen because we want that thing so badly even if it’s not good for us. It may be a Scripture verse that just screams at us when we open our Bible but we say: “Oh no! No way. I opened this by mistake.” I continued to ask myself “How am I going to solve this problem? I need my joy back. I need to be me again.” There were times when I wondered if God was really speaking to me because I encouraged and empowered men and women to be their best and they went on to actually live their best lives, yet mine was not quite fixed. Some days it felt like that the mothering thing wasn’t easy in any shape, color, form, or size. Not to mention being a wife and taking care of everybody. The reality was that I was physically and emotionally tired. This momma desperately needed an outlet. I knew that I could be more, not necessarily do more. Still, there had to be more to this life than raising a family, launching ministries, and starting one business after another, some which I folded up quickly because I realized they weren’t for me. God didn’t tell me to do them and the reason why I started them in the first place was because I listened to people. Next, came society. She came with the attitude of “her way or the highway” accompanied by complacency. Society places labels on us to xviii
You Are Invited To A Freedom Event
make us believe that we can only do one thing and be one way, even if it’s not good for us. We forget that we are not normal or ordinary. As children of the living God empowered with authority from above to conquer, we are extraordinary and extraordinary people do great things. There were days when juggling motherhood, womanhood, career, and business seemed impossible. Society expects the woman to be there for her kids 24 /7 (and we want to). Some cultures expect the woman not to work and forget her career as soon as she starts having babies. Women are nurturing by nature and when they become mothers, it’s normal to want the best for their children and they will do anything to make sure their children have the best. To have a career with small children is not an easy feat, but should we throw away our lives because of society? When I assumed superwoman status and tried to do everything, my me day began when the kids and daddy were fast asleep at night. I would blog, write, research, and do everything that I needed to do without interruption. I had to figure out how to manage my time and how to succeed at doing what I was doing. I achieved what I needed to do but it drained my energy. Literally. There were many candle-burning nights with inexplicable weight gain, stress, and more stress. I didn’t have time for me. I didn’t really care for me. I didn’t see myself as priority. I was worn out. Ministry. Business. Running the home. Doing things. There were days when I wondered if my audience really knew that I was human, just like them. Did they realize that I too could be emotionally, physically and mentally tired? xix
You Can Be Set Free
Something was indeed wrong and I was determined to get to the root of it. One day, after praying and asking the Lord to give me a Word for His children, He showed me Ecclesiastes 10:7 and the revelation was just stunning: “I have even seen…princes walking like servants!” What does that mean, “princes walking like servants?” I finally realized that the way I was running my life wasn’t going to help me but drain me. This would eventually lead to burn out, anger, regrets, and more. I had to figure out a way to walk and live like a princess and not a servant to my issues, frustrations, and feelings of emptiness. I needed to apply the Lord’s strategies to manage all projects in my life so I could be effective in every area.
So I decided to be the extraordinary woman created in God’s own image and likeness that I already was and had placed on the back burner. I put my foot down. I fully activated, stirred up, ignited, and put into immediate operation my gifts and talents. I figured out how to reclaim my joy and still be who I am -- wife, mommy, daughter, sister, friend. During this life exploration process, I wrote The Bilhah Moment. I was interviewed, featured on internationally syndicated Christian television, started speaking at conferences, launched ministries, got ordained as a pastor, co-founded a church, and birthed businesses. One thing led to another. I started blogging and launched out into deep areas I had not ventured in before. The Lord is so good and I am still going forth in Jesus’ name. I want you to go forth and win. xx
You Are Invited To A Freedom Event
As children of God, we are greatly endowed with the power of the Holy Spirit who expects us to act like offspring of the King, not servants. We are joint heirs with Jesus Christ, so why act like rejects, people who are not loved, and people who are bound by all kinds of issues? Why not use this power that God has given us to change our situation and be happy? One of my passions, to the glory of God, is to help people make the shift, take the leap, pin point, and release what God has embedded in them. I want to help them use those God-given talents for His glory and enjoy this blessed, rich, and satisfying life promised to us by Christ in John 10:10. So, I have written this book, You Can Be Set Free for Christian women who want to live the abundant and fulfilled life but are stuck in a rut seeking a desperate way out. Maybe you are right where I was – you want to be more. You know how but somehow things, situations, and environments just won’t let you be you. This book is for you if: ◊
You want to live more abundantly, you can actually taste it at the tip of your tongue, but you don’t know how to go about it.
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You want to be happy in your marriage.
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You desire gainful employment.
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You want to be bold to help yourself, your family, and others.
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You have been talked down, emotionally beaten by negative words spoken to you from childhood and bad relationships. xxi
You Can Be Set Free
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You want to switch profession but you are not sure what to do or how to go about it.
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You are fed up, yet afraid of taking risks.
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You want to be the extraordinary person God created you to be and not what society or people close to you want you to be.
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You want to start that a business you have often dreamt and talked about but somehow you are just afraid.
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You want to take your business to the next level and you need help, plain and simple.
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You have been told that you will never amount to anything in this life.
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You are surrounded by people who don’t understand you or what God has given you. Some have even told you to forget dreaming because “it ain’t gonna happen.”
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You just want to be happy in this life.
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You have placed yourself on the back burner for too long and even deliberately tried to forget your purpose.
In You Can Be Set Free, I empower you to really know yourself, let loose your extraordinary capabilities, be the real you, and be happy. I teach you how to be bold and walk in your God-ordained destiny so no matter what, you can rise above circumstances. You will learn how to be in the front seat even as you go about your daily affairs – being the mom, wife, sister, daughter, everything. xxii
Acknowledgments
I
would not be here but for the grace of God and I give Him all the glory and continuously thank Him for choosing me as His vessel. My spiritual journey began many years ago and I am so blessed to be surrounded by many gifted people. I am using this opportunity to give honor to whom honor is most definitely due: My husband Ben has been a rock of support to me throughout this journey. Together with our beautiful children, we have gone through thick and thin, abundance and drought and weathered the storm. Tami Roos was very helpful and patient in designing this book cover and I thank her for helping me bring the vision to fruition. Dr. Charles and Pastor Donna Ndifon have been there since the beginning of my spiritual journey and were used powerfully by God many years ago to ignite His gifts placed in me. Pastor Joe McKelvey helped me clarify a few things in ministry and was used by God to ordain me as a pastor. I cannot conclude without thanking my strong and beautiful mother who taught me how to be independent and to understand that with determination, I can succeed. Also, my brother Tam who against all odds and battles has shown me that nothing can stop you except you. Thank you!
Connect with Belinda for encouragement to help you make the shift, be free and live your best life at:
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You Can Be Set Free You Can Be Set Free is also a great study guide for small groups and breakfast meetings. For more information, downloadable free resources, speaking schedule, audios and videos visit:
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Learn how to wait on God without losing your mind.
The Bilhah Moment How To Wait on God in Desperate Times
Belinda Enoma
The Bilhah Moment is about trying to help God by taking matters into your hands because waiting is difficult when you need an answer right away. You want to give up and not continue anymore. What do you do when the answer is not forthcoming, at least, not yet? In The Bilhah Moment, Belinda shows you how to stand on God’s Word, claim His promises and pray His Word back to Him. You will learn how to stop digging holes for yourself, how to walk by faith without grumbling and stumbling, how to have persistent faith and live victoriously. This book is a necessary companion to help you become victorious in your everyday life especially in those quiet moments. Visit DunamisPress.com for more information about The Bilhah Moment and other books by Belinda Enoma.
All Dunamis Press books are available in stores and online. Bulk orders for your conference, church, small group are available. Send an email to: BulkSales@DunamisPress.com