I bet you never knew you were leaning!
FIG. 1
INTRODUCTION
If someone wanted to talk to you about mental illness, would you know how to respond to them? Whether you want to help yourself, a family member, a friend, or the global community, it is important that you start with you.
I bet you never knew you were leaning!
FIG. 1
The fear of saying something wrong can prevent you from opening up. Not speaking up to add positively to the conversation about mental illness is as harmful as being a bystander.
I bet you never knew you were leaning!
FIG. 1
The basics of what you need to know to contribute positivity to conversations about mood disorders and anxiety disorders are contained here.
“I swear I know that guy from somewhere.�
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1.1 ABOUT NEUROSES
Mood and anxiety disorders are known as neuroses. People dealing with neuroses are able to recognize their illness and may want to return to a healthy state of mind.
It’s more than blowing it out of proportion.
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Symptoms of neuroses resemble normal defense mechanisms. The difference is that a person suffering from mood or anxiety disorders experiences defense mechanisms that are inappropriately severe or prolonged in relation to the source.
Empathaizing should be easy ‌
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If you have ever encountered a situation that left you feeling sad or anxious, you can begin to empathize with another person who is suffering with a mood or anxiety disorder.
‌ because it’s about shared humanity.
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1.2 CAUSATION
These disorders are typically linked to improper release of neurotransmitters in the brain. They are also linked to causes that are organic or hereditary as well as abnormal brain functions.
Part of a balanced brain chemistry.
FIG. 6
Neurotransmitters, like dopamine and serotonin, are chemicals that are normally released in the brain at levels that maintain the proper balance.
More than just a temporary inconvenience.
FIG. 7
Neurotransmitters transmit impulses from the body. Too much or too little of any can lead to disturbances in mood, emotion, and thought.
Isn’t is frustrating when you can’t …
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1.3 TREATING
It is important to recognize the legitimacy of mental disorders, even when there are no apparent visible symptoms. They are the same as a painful physical injury that has no visible cuts or bruises.
‌ show someone how much it hurts?
FIG. 9
Comparing mental illness to a physical illness is an easy way to make sense of it. Sadness or depression can be compared to a common cold or flu. While a mood disorder, like major depressive disorder, can be more equated to pneumonia.
It’s possible to regain your life after a setback!
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Therapies and drugs can treat mental illness in the same way that they can heal or maintain control over a physical illness.
Why allow negativity to build up ‌
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1.4 WHO IS AFFECTED?
Remember that anyone can suffer from a mental illness. The symptoms involved may already be causing the person to feel isolated and vulnerable.
‌ on both sides of the fence?
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There’s no sense in contributing to someones struggle by viewing their illness in a negative way. Instead, here are some small things you can do to contribute positively to societal attitudes towards mental illness.
This kind of change is hard, but necessary!
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1.5 START WITH YOU
First, keep your own attitude in check. Change happens slowly, but it can start with you. You do not have to be incredibly verbal about the issue of mental illness to make a change in how it is viewed by society.
Mental disorders are not adjectives ‌
FIG. 14
Avoid using terms associated with any mental disorder as an insult, or associating them with weakness or with criminality.
‌ nor synonyms for bad, or weird.
FIG. 15
Also, avoid applying them to inappropriate scenarios. It is not appropriate, for example to refer to someone who changes their mind, or to changing weather patterns as being bipolar.
Acknowledge the seriousness, but be unafraid.
FIG. 16
Stripping these diseases of their power to induce fear does not diminish the very real impact they may have on someone’s daily life.
More than embarassing, it can be hurtful.
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1.6 AFFECTING OTHERS
If you hear a friend or family member use a term in this way, consider bringing their mistake to their attention, and suggest that using these words colloquially may be diminishing to someone who is actuallxy dealing with a mental illness.
You already know that these feelings hurt.
FIG. 18
Explain the physical / mental illness metaphor to someone close to you who has difficulty understanding mental illness. You may not get to everyone, but it may resonate with someone.
The foundations are already there!
FIG. 19
When the opportunity presents itself, share your knowledge of the subject with people around you, whether in person or on social media. Voice your intention; make it personal and genuine.
You can’t force someone to plant a garden.
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1.7 FACING ADVERSITY
Try not to argue with someone who refuses to understand. They may incorporate that negative experience into their attitude about mental illness.
Sew the seeds, and focus on tending to your own.
FIG. 21
This also goes for hateful comments on social media. If they appear on you own page or blog, delete them. They only contribute to the attitudes of negativity.
We’re well on our way to building something ‌
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Instead of arguing, give them time to think about what youhave said. Hope that in time they may become more open minded when they realise that it makes sense.
… that will be strong and long lasting.
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1.8 MAKE A CHANGE
You don’t have to be an expert to contribute positively to the attitude about mental illness. It may seem like tricky to confront, but almost everyone is touched by it, and it doesn’t have to be so intimidating.
There’s a lot out there to keep you going!
FIG. 24
1.9 READ MORE
Finally, consult the sources listed in the day planner for more information, or if you or someone you know needs help.
Supporting means standing by someone as an equal.
FIG. 1
It’s easy to consider visiting or taking care of a friend who is unwell with a cold or a broken limb. Why is it harder to support someone with a mental disorder?
Supporting means standing by someone as an equal.
FIG. 1
People are separate from the problems and obstacles they may experience in their life. When confronted with someone’s mental illness, remind yourself that this does not change who they are and the bond you have with them.
Supporting means standing by someone as an equal.
FIG. 1
Dealing with any kind of illness can be difficult, but when a person shares their experience with you it is because they trust you. The beginnings of what you need to know to support a loved one who is experiencing mental illness are contained here.
Prepare by putting effort into yourself, first!
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2.1 THE FINE LINE
Usually the best thing you can do to make the other person comfortable is to be more present. Adjust your attitudes towards mental illness, your use of language around the topic, and show the person that you care about them.
Guide them, but don’t be a ‘back seat driver’ …
FIG. 3
Take the initiative to start the conversation, but don’t force it. Shift the importance back to them, because they should be able to feel that the situation is in their control. Let the person know they don’t have to avoid the issue, but don’t only focus on it.
… when they aren’t ready, they aren’t ready.
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It is important not to push someone to talk about something that they are uncomfortable with. You can encourage someone to open up, but don’t try to make them disclose more than is comfortable to them at a certain time.
Everyonehas experienced an invisible pain.
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2.2 LISTENING
Be a listener and affirm them. This is the most important thing you can do, because it is easy to forget that problems with your mental health are as valid as problems with physical health.
We’re losing the art of non-verbal communication!
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Make sure you maintain interest and make them feel as comfortable as possible. Some body language that may help is gentle eye contact, nodding of the head in agreement, and where permitted, and physical contact with the hand or back in support.
Stop! Wait your turn!
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2.3 PARTICIPATING
Know when it is appropriate to participate. Allow them to talk about their experience without interruptions. This conversation is about them.
What they bring to the table is important for you too ‌
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Wait until they are completely finished if you are going to say more than expressing your understanding or affirming them. It is good to talk about a personal experience, but wait until they are finished.
‌ to fill in the blanks and enrich your understanding.
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It is okay to ask questions. Trying to understand what the person is going through lets them know that you care about it. It is better to understand their feelings, and learn from them than it is to carry on with false preconceptions and misunderstandings.
Remember, it’s not funny if it could be hurtful!
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2.4 THE DO NOTS
Don’t use distasteful humour. Humour is a helpful way to deal with uncomfortable situations, but be mindful of the words you choose to use.
They can’t just change their mind …
FIG. 11
The most important words to avoid are colloquial terms like crazy or mental. Don’t try to tell someone that their illness is just a phase, or make them feel like they or their problems are unimportant.
… so why don’t you make a change for them?
FIG. 12
Also avoid clichés that insinuate that they can just snap out of it. Don’t ask the person to get over it, or simply cheer up. Finally, do not make them feel like they are being easily upset or weak.
Appreciate, dont depreciate!
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2.5 THINKING OF THEIR FEELINGS
Remind this person that you care about them, and that you appreciate that they trust you enough to disclose something that may be difficult to talk about.
You really don’t need to make a grand gesture ‌
FIG. 14
It is easy to become emotional during a conversation like this, but avoid overreacting in a way that can be perceived as belittling to the person.
‌ just being nearby, and available is enough.
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Ask them how you can help them. Usually opening up to someone can make you feel vulnerable in both a scary and liberating way. Perhaps all they want is someone to know what they are going through.
You’re not an expert, you need a pro on your side.
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Make sure they have talked to their GP about their mental health, and be prepared to help them to establish a diverse support system.
It’s important to havea part of life that feelsconstant.
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2.6 YOUR RELATIONSHIP
Let the person know that you understand a mental illness doesn’t affect who they are and your current relationship with them. If they have been waiting to tell you for a while they are probably worried that this may be the case.
Laughter isn’t the best medecine, but it really helps.
FIG. 19
Some of the best medicines, aside from prescribed treatments are regular activities that remind the person that their life can continue as normal.
Make sure you let them maintain control ‌
FIG. 20
2.7 MONITORING
It is important that the person does not feel as though you are constantly monitoring them in a way that is too conrolling or domineering.
‌ and that you are not stifling their independence
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Expressing concern in a positive way is different than smothering them in a way that makes them feel pressured, or adds to their stress.
They need their space to learn and grow!
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If this is a younger person who uses social media, remind them that a lot of the communities online are more harmful than helpful. Do trust, however, that with your help they will do their best to build positive, supportive relationships.
Soon all of this will be second nature!
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2.8 YOUR FEELINGS
It is okay to be confused or somewhat troubled, especially if this news is unexpected. Try your best to maintain your composure around this person because what they may need is someone who is level-headed.
Don’t forget about your part in this, because …
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Don’t ignore your own feelings about the situation though, and express them when appropriate. Let the person know you will respect their privacy, but it is impossible for you to support them on your own.
… you shouldn’t have to feel trapped or alone either.
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Stay connected to other people, and don’t isolate yourself. Seek help for yourself if you need it, and join a support group if you think it’s the right thing for you.
Some misinformation is more harmful than others.
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2.9 LEARN MORE
It is important to get the facts for you and for the person you are supporting. They or you may have some misinformation that could deter them from maintaining their mental health in the best way they can.
There’s a lot out there to keep you going!
FIG. 22
Consult the sources listed in the day planner for more information, or if you need some help figuring out your next steps.
Is this really a constant connection?
FIG. 1
INTRODUCTION
What holds people back from discussing their personal feelings with each other? It is so much easier to talk about opinions and idle topics than open up about something that is bothering you because it may leave you feeling vulnerable.
Is this really a constant connection?
FIG. 1
Contrary to what we may tend to believe, emotions and vulnerability are not a sign of weakness. They are simply a part of being human. That being said, if you are experiencing negative feelings, or dealing with mental illness, it could be very difficult to open up to someone else.
Is this really a constant connection?
FIG. 1
Just like how negative feelings are not a sign of weakness, neither is asking for help. The beginnings of what you need to consider before starting a conversation with someone about your mental health are contained here.
Accepting help is about making yourself stronger.
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3.1 BEING FAIR TO YOURSELF
You probably already feel very alone, but it isn’t fair to allow yourself to deal with this in isolation. There are probably many people who can help to support you, and a network of support is a lot stronger than you can be on your own.
These steps may seem intimidating, ‌
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3.2 YOUR GP
It is always important that you talk with your General Practitioner about these feelings, whether they are the first person you consult, or you consult them with the support of a loved one.
‌ but it’s okay to use the hand rail.
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Your GP can provide a different kind of support and different resources that other loved ones cannot. These include referrals to other people who can help you, and treatments like medication or therapies where necessary.
Knowledge is a powerful ally!
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Your GP is the most knowledgeable support contact you can make. They already know a lot about mental disorders and can be objective about it, reassuring you that it is normal, but also very comforting.
Take all the time that you need!
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Make notes about your concerns before your visit, and specify a longer appointment if you think you need more time. Don’t be afraid to ask them to repeat anything you don’t understand, or to write things down for you. It’s important to get the facts about what is going on to avoid any misinformation.
It’s pretty easy to know who makes you feel comfortable.
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3.3 THE FIRST TIME
If this is your first time discussing these feelings, it is important to choose someone whom you feel would be able to handle the situation well. This should be someone who is close to you, and who is usually open minded.
You want someone around who will share ‌
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A key to any successful discussion is a good level of trust. This is especially true when telling a significant other. Make sure they are someone you can see being a part of your life, and continuing supporting you.
‌ the good as well as the bad!
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Knowing when it is a good time to tell someone is as simple as deciding whether you need the support of that person. If it is bothering you that you haven’t disclosed this information to them, it is also a good idea to do to relieve any unnecessary added stress.
Don’t just let everything spill out …
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3.4 PREPARING
Putting your feelings into words may be hard because feelings can be very abstract. It is helpful to write down a script, deciding what is most important to share right now.
‌ slow down, prepare, and wait for it to settle.
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It may be beneficial to practise your discussion with a help line. If you already have someone you can talk to, ask them to help you. Both of these sources can give some insight into what the other person may need to hear from you.
Don’t leave the other person out of the picture!
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3.5 THE OTHER PERSON
In this situation is it easy to forget about the other person. It is important that you continue to consider this person’s feelings as you open up to them.
Their feelings are fragile too!
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Try your best not to overwhelm the person you have chosen to speak to. As much as they will probably want to be there for you, these feelings or illness may cause them to feel confused or scared.
Remember, you’re aiming to share the weight!
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You should be sharing with people who you trust not to disclose your personal information. Remember, however, that it may be a lot for them to handle, and they have the right to seek support fo themselves if they become overwhelmed.
Hiding can become confusing and stressful.
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3.6 WORK
If the scenario is disclosing your illness to your boss, there are pros and cons that should be weighed. Hiding an illness may be stressful, and it could be misinterpreted as a performance issue.
You don’t need constant special tratment ‌
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If your employer seems like they would understand, and if there is a policy in your place of work to accommodate you, these are good signs that you will be accepted.
‌ but you do need something in place to help you.
FIG. 17
Disclosing this information to your employer may cause tension at first, but remind your them that this is not a reason for you to be treated any differently than you were before.
It’s vitalt to learn early on how to express feelings.
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3.7 CHILDREN
Entirely hiding the idea of mental disorders from children may lead them to believe that it is something that should be kept secret or is shameful.
There are many ways kids can help ‌
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It is important to assess what is appropriate to discuss with a child, and this varies by age. Young children need less details, but older children may ask very precise questions which should beanswered as honestly as is appropriate.
… but how can they, if they’re kept in the dark?
FIG. 20
An important thing to immediately instil in children is that mental disorders are real illnesses that can be treated. Be straightforward with children and compare to a physical illness. It’s important that they feel safe and comfortable. Slow down if they become upset or confused.
Teach kids how they can be an agent of change.
FIG. 21
Teenagers are more likely to have encountered misinformation about mental disorders and it is crucial to address this as early as possible, so that they can continue to grow with a more positiveattitude towards mental health.
Not everyone is going to be equally accepting ‌
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3.8 REACTIONS
In any scenario, there is a potential risk of the other person becoming uncomfortable with your illness or feelings. They may ask a lot of questions, they may feel awkward, or they may reject you outright.
‌ but don’t let that stop you from inviting people in.
FIG. 23
In the case of rejection, it will be difficult. It is key to recognize, however, that this is their loss. It may be easier, now, to consult the next person. Confide in your doctor or support system to build on that experience, and move on.
Positive people can help you help yourself!
FIG. 24
In the end, if they care about you, they are likely to come around. Its important to continue to build a support system, so they know you won’t just be depending on them. It also helps because different people offer different kinds of support.
There’s a lot out there to keep you going!
FIG. 25
3.9 READ MORE
Finally, consult the sources listed in the day planner for more information, or if you need help figuring out your next steps.