January 2019
UnMazed Magazine
Teen's Guide to the New Year
Resolutions that Work Mentorship College Planning And More!
C O N T E N T SÂ Teen's Guide to the New Year January 2019 Featured:
8 New Year's Resolutions for College Going Teens 11 Denied: How to Respond to College Rejection 15 Infographic: Top New Year's Resolutions for Teens 18 Bridging the Gap through Mentorship 20 Campus Safety: What Every Student Must Know, Part II
24 Calming the Teen Storm 26 You Matter, You Matter, You Matter, Matter, Matter 28 Ask The Expert: Community Scholarship Search
Subscribe today GET YOUR FREE MONTHLY MAGAZINE DELIVERED TO YOUR EMAIL 30 30
www.unmaze.me
4 UNMAZED MAGAZINE: EDITOR LETTER
Letter from the Editor As 2019 is quickly approaching, I sit and reflect on how far UnMazed Magazine has gone in 2018! It was a tremendous year as we begun laying
the
foundation
to
bring
quality
information to parents and teens from educational experts who care about student success for our Florida students. Here are some of UnMazed's statistics this year: 24,500 views 43 educational experts 9 editions 10 webinars Sharing these statistics are important because it provides a baseline on where we want to go for this year. Whether our New Year's Resolution is to lose weight, become more involved, disconnect from technology, or learn a new skill, we have to first know where we are currently at. So while I love writing, I have always been terrible at journaling, but there is immense value in using reflective practice in your every day life. Whether you do so quietly in your head at the end of the night or write down something in a notebook, being open and honest about the things you liked about the day (or month or year) and what you did not like helps you understand what changes (if any) need to be made to become your best self. This month's writers all focused on creating positive energy for the New Year. Whether you read AJ Donaldson's article on the benefits of mentoring in a student's life or about mindfulness practices from Dr. Laura Baltodano, this month's edition is a wealth of information on making positive changes for 2019. I wish you all the best as you close out 2018 and usher in 2019! By: Dr. Amanda Sterk, Senior Editor and Founder of UnMazed Magazine asterk@unmaze.me
JANUARY 2019, ISSUE 9, UNMAZED MAGAZINE
Magazine articles and more can be found at www.unmaze.me Where Florida experts meet for teen success.
Contact us: We enjoy hearing from from parents, students, and educators throughout the state. Send us your photos, letters, or comments to asterk@unmaze.me. Or visit us online: www.unmaze.me Do you want to collaborate? This magazine is designed for educators across the state to share their expertise on a variety of topics. We welcome those who would like to participate in creating this resource.
5
UnMazed Where Experts Meet for Teen Success
Editors SENIOR EDITOR
Amanda Sterk, Ed.D., is CEO of Florida Center for Educational Planning and author of College UnMazed: Your Guide Through the Florida College & University System. She currently works at Florida SouthWestern State College as Director of Accelerated Programs.. Dr. Sterk has been an educator for 20 years as a teacher, school counselor, and administrator. She is founder of the Florida teen resource, www.unmaze.me.Â
www.unmaze.me
Contributing Writers 8
11
18
Ashley McNaughton is an independent college counselor and founder of ACM College Consulting, LLC. She has her BS in Business from Bucknell,, and Certificate in College Counseling from UCLA. Alongside her consulting work, she volunteers with ScholarMatch, a nonprofit helping high achieving, low income students get to college.
Don Arends, M.Ed., is a high school counselor in Newton, Iowa, where he has served students for 24 years after teaching English for nine. He works closely with the school’s highest-achieving students as the AP, PSAT, and ACT test coordinator. He has witnessed first-hand the pressure students feel to be admitted to their first choice of college and has witnessed fist-hand the amazing things that can happen when those students wind up attending their fourth, fifth, or seventh choice. AJ Donaldson, is Founder of United Mentors, which is a fully equipped academic mentoring service that helps students succeed with an individualized approach and established network of reputable mentors. career Donaldson has successfully tutored more than 500 students in a variety of subjects, crafting a unique and comprehensive methodology that guarantees student cooperation and success.
20
Jennifer Murphy, MS, AS, has been working with Sex Crimes victims/Survivors for over 30 years. She if founder of Fabulous Faithful Freedom Fighters, Inc.
24
Dr. Laura Baltodano lost her son, Andrew, to suicide in June 2018. In his honor, she is passionate about making a difference in the lives of others to support them in living a fulfilling life. She is equipped with multiple tools to aid in that mission and has enlisted others to Andrew’s Anthem to assist with the cause.
26
28
Ellie Peterson, When Ellie Peterson was 23 years old, she was divorced and raising three children on her own while making $80 a week. Her body was unhealthy; her mind was chaotic, and her spiritual being was weighed down with fear, self-pity, anger, and worthlessness. Life was overwhelming. At this low point, she created the Meditative Movements™ technique to heal her body, mind and being. Rob Hicks, M.Ed.,has worked in public schools for 16 years. He is a school counselor at Fernandina Beach High School and the Ogburn School. He maintains the "Getting My Guide On" blog about all things school counselor at guidey.blogspot.com and writes about local history.
Do you have a passion for teen success? Would you like to write for an innovative magazine written by educators across the state? Connect with us today!
Contributors Website
8
UNMAZED MAGAZINE: FEATURED
New Year's Resolutions for College Going Teens
Most 15 and 16 year olds are thinking about
what the process has become and it is in
their next game, their latest high school
their best interest to start early. Here are
crush, or getting their driver’s license, not
four resolutions for high school students
about their college plans for 2 -3 years
considering college.
down the road. It seems a bit unfair that they should have to think about such
Sophomores – Spend time researching
important things at a young age, but that is
college and career options
ASHLEY MCNAUGHTON By now, many students have already taken some
Seniors – Continue to put forth best effort in school
version of the SAT or ACT and had a broad discussion
and remember college decisions are NOT everything
of college plans with their parents and/or high school
counselor. What they probably haven't done is
By now many students at this stage in their high
actually sit down and do some self reflecting and
school careers have completed their applications,
research. What are their potential career and course
especially those for out-of-state colleges. Most of those
of study interests? What type of college do they
even have their offers of admission already. The first
envision for themselves? What are the requirements
of two resolutions for students at this time are to
for admission to those colleges? They should make it
continue to put forth their best effort in school. There
a goal to spend time doing research now while they
are plenty of other students willing to take their spot at
still have time to adjust their high school path, visit
their potential future college and there is little room
schools, prep for tests, and set up job shadowing and
for slacking and decline in grades. Colleges do pay
classes to help them with their admission and final
attention to this and indeed have the power to revoke
decision. That small amount of time they spend over
their admission offer if they feel the student is not
the next year has the potential to make a BIG
meeting their academic standards.
difference.
The second resolution and unarguably the most
important,
Juniors – Establish college application timeline and
admissions
goals NOW
Unfortunately colleges are unable to truly get to know
each student before making an acceptance decision.
Students in their next to last year of high school
Although a student may not have gotten into their
should
college
dream school, their future is still very bright and they
applications now! Although they may not have their
have plenty of opportunity to shape it the way they
'list' narrowed down to the final few schools, it is not
want it to be. Every college has something great to
too early to establish personal deadlines for getting
offer, students just have to take advantage of it. I do
their applications done. The key is to set those
believe some colleges are better fits than others and
deadlines early - take the potential college deadlines
strive to help students find the best matches, but ‘the
and move them back by 6-8 weeks! There can be a lot
perfect college’ does not exist. College is only the
of unexpected delays, added requirements and other
beginning of the journey. It can be a spectacular part
bumps along the college application road, and it is
of it, but it is not everything and it is certainly not the
better to be done early than to risk an incomplete
end.
establish
their
timeline
for
is
for
students
decisions
are
to
remember not
everything.
application. Students who stay organized and work ahead often forget to take into consideration the fact that there are pieces to the applications which are not in their hands. Recommendation letters, high school transcripts, and test scores are just a few examples of requirements which may not be sent directly by the student. Students need to give their counselors and recommenders plenty of time to complete their documents.
that
By: Ashley McNaughton, Founder of ACM College Consulting, LLC.
9
10
UNMAZED MAGAZINE: FEATURED
6 %
Of Florida students enroll in college after high school
However.. only
%
of SW Florida workers have a degree or certificate
The FutureMakers Coalition wants to change that statistic If you are a business owner, organization, educator, community member, or simply want to be a part of real educational change to better our community, find out more at www.futuremakerscoalition.com
What is UnMazed: 40+
18,000
125+
Monthly Readers
Articles, Videos & Webinars
Contributors
UnMazed (www.unmaze.me) started as one school counselor's mission to bring quality, expert resources to high school students and parents across Florida for teen success in academics, college and career, and social/ emotional needs. After launching UnMazed Magazine, a digital publication that reaches over 4,000 school counselors monthly, it has grown to over 40+ expert contributors across the state and nationally. In it's first month of publication, it was read and shared over 18,000 times and is continuing to grow daily.
COMMUNITY RESOURCE DIRECTORY Teen Resources - Academic Support - Personal/ Social Support - Volunteering/ Internships - Programs & Clubs College & Career Resources - High School Planning - College & Career Planning - Scholarships & Financial Aid - Colleges & Universities - Career & Technical Programs Community Resources - Family Support - Educational - Teen Event Planning - Organizational Support
MAGAZINE DIRECTORY WEBSITE WEBINARS
UnMazed is your Community Resource for Florida teen issues. www.unmaze.me
11 UnMazed Magazine: DON ARENDS
De
ni
ed
DENIED: How to Respond to College Rejection
“Hey , have you heard
many of whom didn’t
back from Stanford yet, honey?”
have an academic record good enough to even consider
Your nervous eyes dart to the rejection
application to Stanford.
letter sprawled painfully open on your desk,
You’re good at math (or you likely would
your ego lying gasping. You hope your mom and
not be applying to Stanford), so you know with a
your goldfish didn’t notice the letter or the gasping
six percent acceptance rate many more get the
or your nervous eyes. The color drains from your
same letter you got than the happy one. I know,
face. You wonder which is worse: being rejected or
doesn’t feel better yet, does it? You wanted to be
telling your mom – and friends and teachers and
one of the few, the proud, the Igotins.
goldfish – that you were rejected.
Well, first (or wait, is that second?), rejection is not supposed to feel good. It is okay to grieve
And furthermore… now what?
over the rejection. It means it mattered to you. But the grief cannot stall out your pursuit of
In my quarter century of counseling students at a
excellence. In fact, make it the opposite.
large high school, I have seen this much, much
more often than invitations to a party celebrating
Life is full of serendipity.
acceptance to Stanford, or Harvard, or Notre
successful person, and you’ll hear stories of it
Dame. So first, welcome to the rest of us, the great
from virtually every one of them. Many of the
Just talk to any
DON ARENDS 13
8% Average acceptance rate for Ivy League schools
48%
students who were denied admission
but for motivation. Now, scrapbooking
to
Hard-To-Get-Into-University
your rejection letter is up to you, but
found their experiences at their
the point is this: Don’t collapse from the
eventual choice could not have been
pressure of “no.” Grow from it. Commit
matched by HTGIU.
They found
to creating an experience at your school
lives, they found friends, they found
which renders moot the rejection letter.
dreams, and yes, they even found
Still not there?
jobs after completing degrees at their own schools. Remember, only a third
Okay, let’s try this: Over my years I
of Americans over 25 have earned
have worked frequently with boys and
even bachelor’s degrees, so whether
girls who feel rejected after a break up.
your degree comes from HTGIU or
(Wait… wasn’t this about college? Hang
the university an hour away, it will
on, this is going somewhere.)
be quite an accomplishment. Soak
suggestion I make which seems to
that in. Still don’t feel better?
impact these young people is “live your
One
life so your ex regrets his or her Well, think of this: When we are
rejection of you.” Those who choose
rejected, it hurts.
That’s universal
this usually discover that they are
unless you didn’t want to be accepted
better off anyway without the schmo
in the first place (And don’t tell
who dumped them.
friends that… they know it’s a
Acceptance rate for University of Florida
61%
defense
But
what
You’re smart. You get it, right? (Sheesh,
happens next is what separates the
humble
successful from the not. Many artists
students who applied to Harvard or
and
multiple
Stanford or others of such ilk.) Achieve
rejections. JK Rowling was turned
at such a level that HTGIU will feel like
away by twelve publishers when she
they missed one, that they erred in
queried an odd little story about a
rejecting your application. The world is
boy wizard. (Reflect for a moment on
full of people who have accomplished
this: Twelve people whose job it is to
amazing things upon earning degrees
recognize marketable books missed
from the not-so HTGIU. So the next
on
in
time you think of that rejection, the
Suddenly, the admission
next time you read those words of the
counselor who signed your letter
letter on your desk, let these three
doesn’t seem so daunting now, huh?)
words resonate in your soul: “I’ll show
authors
the
history.
Acceptance rate for Florida Gulf Coast University
mechanism).
tell
of
greatest-selling
series
writer,
you’re
writing
to
you.” And JK’s certainly not alone. Google “famous
failures”
and
you’ll
be
“Is that your letter from Stanford there,
clicking until you get Carpal Tunnel.
honey?”
Many of those artists and authors
intentioned bone in her body a good
keep those rejection letters.
one. She so wants to hug you. "Yeah,
Not
because they enjoy self-punishment
she
asks
mom, it is,” you say flatly.
with
every
UNMAZED MAGAZINE: FEATURED
14
You see the hesitation in her face before she
they missed one, that they erred in rejecting
rushes over and scans it quickly. “I’m sorry,” she
your application. The world is full of people who
pushes out past her lips. Her eyes are as flat as
have accomplished amazing things upon earning
yours were when you read it.
degrees from the not-so HTGIU. So the next time you think of that rejection, the next time you
“Don’t be,” you say, and you let the words
read those words of the letter on your desk, let
soothe you and her. “I’ll be okay.” And you know
these three words resonate in your soul: “I’ll
you will. Your mom sees clean to your soul and
show you.”
she knows you will too. “Is that your letter from Stanford there, honey?” Mom hugs you anyway. More impressed with
she asks with every intentioned bone in her
you now than she would have been had you
body a good one. She so wants to hug you.
been accepted.
“Yeah, mom, it is,” you say flatly.
Let the rejection letter be fuel. Let it be food. Let it be fire. And if I try to fit one more metaphor in
You see the hesitation in her face before she
here,
rushes over and scans it quickly. “I’m sorry,” she
my
college
English
professor
would
reprimand me.
pushes out past her lips. Her eyes are as flat as yours were when you read it.
Oh, that would be my professor at state university, by the way.
“Don’t be,” you say, and you let the words soothe you and her. “I’ll be okay.” And you know
Okay, let’s try this:
Over my years I have
worked frequently with boys and girls who feel
you will. Your mom sees clean to your soul and she knows you will too.
rejected after a break up. (Wait… wasn’t this about
college?
somewhere.)
Hang
on,
this
is
going
Mom hugs you anyway. More impressed with
One suggestion I make which
you now than she would have been had you
seems to impact these young people is “live your
been accepted.
life so your ex regrets his or her rejection of
you.” Those who choose this usually discover
Let the rejection letter be fuel. Let it be food. Let
that they are better off anyway without the
it be fire. And if I try to fit one more metaphor in
schmo who dumped them.
here,
my
college
English
professor
would
reprimand me. You’re smart. You get it, right? (Sheesh, humble writer, you’re writing to students who applied to
Oh, that would be my professor at state
Harvard or Stanford or others of such ilk.)
university, by the way.
Achieve at such a level that HTGIU will feel like By Don Arends, M.Ed., School counselor at Newton High School
16
UNMAZED MAGAZINE: INFOGRAPHIC When it's bed time, turn the phone off
Welcome to 2019! I truly hope this will be your best year yet! Whether you are starting your teen years or starting to think about your college transition, this
Set the phone aside when studying
time of year is a great time to reflect on what 2018 brought you, but also what you want from 2019.
UNPLUG
Use apps that make you happy
You can easily Google "New Year's Resolutions" and look for a list of ideas. Of course, getting healthy,
Make an effort to connect face-to-face
become more organized, and read more books, seem to top the list.
Top New Resolutio Tee
However, the best way to make and keep New Year's Resolutions is to make them 1) Attainable, 2) Have a Plan, 3) Share, and 4) Make them Personal. What I want may be completely different than what you
Learn a new language
Start the year off best teen New Ye
want. So here are my tips, no matter what resolutions you pick. 1. Attainable- Making goals that
LEARN SOMETHING NEW
Explore your passions and interests
are attainable help with your selfconfidence and feeling like you completed something. Make small goals inside of large goals so you do not feel discouraged. For example, if you want to run a half-marathon race, start with the goal of running 3 miles without stopping, a few
Ask questions to those who know a unique skill
Commit to a set amount of time every day/ week
weeks later add a fourth mile, and so on until you have met your goal.
DOWNLOAD LINK 2. Plan- Plan for your goals. Whatever they may be write them
BE A BE PERS Write short notes of gratitude to those that support you
Treat everyone with respect
DOWNLOAD
17
Ask for help down so they are clearly visible
Journal every day
everyday. A "Vision Board"or a journal help you stay on track and mark off small and large goals.
GIVE SELF CARE
Talk through your emotional struggles with a trusted friend/ adult
3. Share- Keeping goals to yourself makes it hard for you to be accountable for reaching those goals, and also makes it harder to celebrate your successes. I learned
Prioritize quality sleep
to crochet this year off of YouTube. While I have completely messed up multiple times, I found several communities that openly shared
w Year's ons for ens
our mistakes and wins! I have
Share your thoughts of appreciation and love to those around you
right with the ar Resolutions
found a unique group that supports my fun little habit and gives me ideas on how to grow the next time. 4.Personal-While your plan might not be to learn to crochet (you can seriously make some cool stuff!),
LOVE MORE
Make an effort to contact those who you don't see often
it's what I have learned to enjoy and I have embraced it. You need to
find
resolutions
that
are
personal to you. If you are not invested, both in time and energy,
Find people that lift you up
TTER ON
Forgive those who have hurt you
you simply won't be successful. So whether you want to learn a new language so you can travel on church/ school trip, or earn better grades so you have a chance at getting into your dream school, you have to make resolutions that are important to you.
Do community service that is Think more, meaningful to say less you
By: Dr. Amanda Sterk, Author of College UnMazed: Your Guide Through the Florida College & University System
Whatever your goals are, I wish you the best so you can be your best!
18
UNMAZED MAGAZINE: FEATURED
Bridging the Gap through Mentorship As community members, we naturally default to the
Unfortunately,
responsibility of our education system to ensure our
intervention is deemed necessary, it’s often after a
students maintain a well-rounded, comprehensive
child has already regressed considerably. Many
educational experience. We rely on our teachers to
students find dwindled interest in subjects where
prepare students for state exams and pass them onto
their personal interests aren’t fostered. Likewise,
the next grade level, all while peaking their interest
students may easily become discouraged when
in sports and engaging their curiosity for the arts.
they can’t keep up with the quick pace of today’s
Yet, in an often understaffed sector, it isn’t until
classroom. With little or no time for the extra
students begin to receive failing grades or display a
attention needed, students may quickly fall behind
lack of interest in school activities that red flags
their peers. It isn’t until the system has already
begin waiving.
failed to recognize a student’s need for help when
By: AJ Donaldson, Founder of United Mentors
by
the
the call for change begins.
time
an
educational
AJ DONALDSON
"By identifying our own gifts and talents, we can best assess how to serve those students in need of guidance and educational support." Unfortunately,
by
the
time
an
educational
unique interests of a student, we are capable of
intervention is deemed necessary, it’s often after a
guiding them towards the space where they best
child has already regressed considerably. Many
thrive. A blanket of Math, English and Science
students find dwindled interest in subjects where
skills are inherently necessary, but fail to serve
their personal interests aren’t fostered. Likewise,
each
students may easily become discouraged when they
students receive the freedom to explore atypical
can’t keep up with the quick pace of today’s
opportunities that may not be offered in the
classroom. With little or no time for the extra
traditional
attention needed, students may quickly fall behind
rewarding way to ensure each student can reach
their peers. It isn’t until the system has already
their great potential is by meeting them where
failed to recognize a student’s need for help when
they are and equipping them with the tools to
the call for change begins.
explore budding career opportunities, personal
passions and help develop pertinent skill sets for
With new challenges inside the classroom arising
their chosen path.
student
equally.
school
Through
setting.
The
mentorship,
single,
most
each day, a renewed standard for hiring educators is needed. As we delve deeper into
Education extends far beyond what happens in an
educational issues directly affecting the children in
average
our community throughout future publications, we
organizations, community members have the
intend to shine a light on how community members
opportunity to get involved and positively impact
can spearhead change in our education system.
a student’s future. By identifying our own gifts
Pursuing a network of caring, passionate and
and talents, we can best assess how to serve those
dedicated teachers is imperative, but it’s what
students in need of guidance and educational
happens outside of the classroom that can also
support. Often, this means a gesture as simple as
initiate an important change for our students.
donating time can have an impact that will change
school
day.
Through
individual
a child’s trajectory. What if we dared to say that community members
are educators, too? Bridging the gap between our
Change for our students starts with you and I as
community and our educators has been the
members of the community. Organizations such as
pinnacle of AJ Donaldson’s work in his two decades
United Mentors and the EPIC Foundation exist to
of experience in teaching and mentoring. By
bring
tutoring over 500 students, Donaldson came to
community members that assist students in their
recognize that sometimes, more than financial
transition to the next grade level, post-secondary
support is required to see through a child’s success.
education or into their work field of choice. The
Giving time, expertise and leadership made a lasting
effort to ensure a future generation of leaders and
impact.
positive
forth
all-star
educators
change-makers
begins
and
by
stellar
working
alongside our school systems to create a stronger Mentorship is an important attribute to the overall
educational experience for students, parents and
success of a student. When we acknowledge the
educators alike.
19
JENNIFER MURPHY
CAMPUS SAFETY: WHAT EVERY STUDENT MUST KNOW, PART II In Part 1 of our discussion we covered the all too
that parents start talking to their kids about sex at an
common occurrence of sexual assault on campuses all
early age (age appropriate, of course) and keep talking
over the country and how to protect yourself. There is
about it as the kids grow up and mature towards fully
still more to know to have the safest and best years
functioning young adult people. The “sex talk” isn’t one
while you continue your education.
discussion about the birds and the bees but rather a series of conversations with your children.
For parent’s with students you need to educate yourselves on how your child’s school handles sexual
It is important to understand that supporting healthy
assault and here is why… in 2014, 40% of colleges and
relationships goes a long way to preventing sexual
universities reported not investigating a single sexual
assault. There are several key elements to every
assault on campus the previous 5 years. We think this
healthy relationship including mutual respect and
is unacceptable!! Most college campuses still have
trust,
much work to do in creating safe and supportive
communication. Respect is absolutely a key element to
environments, but they are making progress in the
promote
implementing policies and programs that address
relationships and how we support one another in each
sexual assault prevention on campus and what they
other’s goals and dreams. There is no relationship
can do if they are victimized.
without trust. Knowing that you are there for one
honesty, and
boundaries,
model
healthy
consent attitudes
and about
another is powerful and helps promote healthy goal What every unwanted sexual encounter has in
setting and maintain healthy communication without
common is the lack of CONSENT. Consent is one of the
judgment or criticism. This applies to every aspect of
most important elements of a healthy relationship.
the relationship. From breakfast at the kitchen table to
However, intimate consent is often misunderstood.
romantic evenings behind closed doors. If for some
Let’s clear this up now, so there is no confusion in your
reason trust is broken it will take therapy, time and
mind if you have, in fact, been sexually assaulted. Sex
patience to earn it back, if at all. Don’t take the trust
without consent isn’t sex. It isn’t romantic. It isn’t sexy.
you and your partner share for granted. Boundaries
Sex without consent is rape or sexual assault. At
give everyone the right to set limits, say no, feel safe
Fabulous Faithful Freedom Fighters, Inc. Sex Crimes
and supported without condemnation. Consent is the
Specialist Outreach, we encourage parents to discuss
agreement without fear or pressure. And last, but not
this issue with their kids. Both boys and girls need to
least, without honest & clear communication the
fully understand the legal & moral obligations to
relationship won’t be healthy and likely won’t last.
getting consent prior to any sexual activity. We suggest
Partners need to communicate in a healthy way, so you
PART I LINK
21
CONSENT IS...
can express yourself honestly with partners, friends, colleagues, teachers & family. A good rule to consider: Mean what you say and
1. Voluntary, mutual, can be withdrawn at any
say what you mean. This makes expectations clear and it helps avoid
time and is enthusiastic.
disappointments, misunderstandings and conflict.
2. Past consent does NOT mean current or
College/University time can be thrilling and fun but can also be
future consent.
stressful and overwhelming. So, as you embark on this exciting season of your life remember that it’s not always best to be in a
3. Consent means EVERY time.
relationship. You can focus on your goals, plans and dreams because you have the rest of your life to do the partnered/dating/relationship
4. No means no.
thing. Don’t let peer pressure or anything else stand in your way of achieving your educational goals and dreams. It’s ok to just do you
5. No doesn’t mean convince me.
now. It’s probably the last season of your life where you get
6. There is no consent if an individual is mentally or physically incapacitated or impaired. Under the influence an individual is not legally capable to give consent because they can not understand the facts, nature or extent of the sexual situation. 7. The Federal age of consent for nonrestricted sexual activity is 18. 8. Each state varies between 16-18 for consent for sexual activity to be legal. 9. Someone under the age of consent is legally unable to give consent therefore any activity is considered sexual assault under the law. This is where Statutory Rape Statutes often come into the play. If you are 15 and your partner is 17 and you engage in sexual activity, technically that is considered rape/sexual assault under the law. 10. The legal age of consent for sexual activity in Florida is 18. If you are 17 and under and our engaging in sexual activity you are breaking the law.
By: Jennifer Murphy, Founder of Fabulous Faithful Freedom Fighters
Florida College Admissions Made Easy
Online, selfpaced course. Includes complimentary College UnMazed Workbook
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UNMAZED MAGAZINE: HEALTH
24
CALMING THE TEEN STORM
Have you ever found yourself with your fingers
without striving for things to be any different than they
interlaced through your hair pressing and digging into
are. It provides a way to step out of ‘automatic pilot’
your scalp, or perhaps even pulling your hair, in
and see life in a different way; it is a form of awakening.
frustration? From the moment you wake up, it seems
Bringing
that everyone is demanding of your attention. It is no
experiences can change everything. Aspects of mindful
wonder that before the day has even gotten into full
living include, but are not limited to, mindfulness-based
swing, you are completely overwhelmed and wishing
stress reduction (MBSR), mindful self-compassion
you were somewhere else. Know that you are not alone
(MSC) and mindful eating.
in this. We live full, busy lives. We are wanted and
needed. That is a great thing! However, in order to be
In the busyness of modern day society, where we are
fully present and available for everyday demands, it is
constantly on the go and wrapped up in ‘doing’,
important to reset each day.
mindfulness is our STOP button. It provides us with a
space to consider alternative ways of responding to
How do we accomplish this? It seems that we are left to
both internal and external stressors.
navigate this on our own. The concept of living a life of
purpose and meaning can seem like an impossible task
Viktor Frankl, a holocaust survivor, neurologist and
at times in our society of busyness and to-dos. We may
psychologist explains it best: “Between stimulus and
look in the mirror one day and may not recognize the
response there is a space. In that space is our power to
person looking back at us. It may seem impossible to
choose our response. In our response lies our growth
find our way towards what we perceive life is supposed
and our freedom.”
to be like. We may feel hopeless at times and that life is
pointless and meaningless.
There is a correlation between stress and health
outcomes. When presented with a stimulus, we are
Mindfulness has become a “buzz” word lately and with
usually acting from a place of reactivity. Our
good reason; however, what we call mindfulness has
sympathetic nervous system is activated and the “flight
been around for thousands of years. The practice of
or fight” response kicks in. This system is in place as a
mindfulness involves intentionally being fully present
survival mechanism and is very useful in acute
in each moment with kindness, non-judgmentally and
situations. However, when activated chronically as it is
this
awareness
to
moment-to-moment
DR. LAURA BALTODANO 25 in modern day society, it has multiple adverse effects including adrenal fatigue, lack of motivation or drive, physical and/or
Take action:
emotional exhaustion and disease.
Make a commitment to begin
With this understanding, one can move forward with intention to
pressing the STOP button when
make positive changes; however, it may be difficult to know where
presented
to begin. A new local Non-Profit Organization, Andrew’s Anthem, was established to support individuals in finding their sustainable
with
a
stressful
situation.
path to joy amidst the chaos. Our mission is to do our part in making the world a better place for all. Andrew's Anthem is a suicide prevention initiative with a focus on promotion of wellbeing through programs and courses which provide coping skills and resilience tools and strategies. We focus on the art of fully living; not just surviving, but thriving.
S– stop and interrupt ‘automatic
Andrew's Anthem is in the business of empowering individuals
pilot’ by concentrating on the
to live joyful lives filled with purpose and meaning despite daily challenges. The work we do at our Non-Profit Organization is
present moment
aimed at providing a holistic approach to solving some of our
society’s biggest struggles. We make sure our partners are
T– take a deep breath (or a few
empowered by creating opportunities for individuals, families and communities. Our vision is to create a safe space where everyone
if you need to) and bring your
belongs, where they are seen and heard. A community of
attention to your breath as a
connection and inclusion where multiple programs will be offered
focus point
including: MBSR, MSC, Awakening Joy, mindful movement, time
management, empowerment workshops, silent retreats, youth camps and more. It is our greatest desire to serve the community
O– observe the situation from
as a resource and support for emotional and mental wellbeing.
the point of view of a scientist
recovering data. Connect to the
“We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When
present moment and determine
the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.” ~ Buddha
what is arising for you with a sense of curiosity. In what ways
By: Dr. Laura Baltodano, Founder of Andrew's Anthem
can you respond that would be positive and fruitful in the current interaction. P– proceed and reconnect with your
surroundings.
Respond
mindfully to the situation at hand.
UNMAZED MAGAZINE: ELLIE PETERSON
26
You Matter. You Matter. You Matter, Matter, Matter! On December 13, 2018 many local area high school students attended the Future Makers Coalition Dream Summit.
They
received
FAFSA
and
scholarship
information, student resources, prizes, and inspiration to follow their dreams. The event was held at the Collaboratory
which
houses
Southwest
Florida
Community Foundation’s new regional offices and offers meeting, tenant, and social gathering places, special event venues, and shared working and collaboration spaces. Bobby Petrocelli, the motivational speaker, told his powerful story. His main message was that “You Matter.” There is no one exactly like you. And because you are here, you have a purpose that only you can fulfill. Like Bobby, I have found that when we do harm (to our self or others) it is because we feel inadequate and are hurting inside. Healing occurs when we acknowledge the pain and forgive.
Matter
Meditative
Movement™.
Meditative
Movements™ is a new mind-body technique that has been found to reduce anxiety, depression and fatigue while improving emotional and functional well-being per the 2017 University of Minnesota research study. The movements are designed so you can have fun moving your body while retraining your brain with nurturing messages. For many of us, we were never told that we mattered. While it is great to have someone else tell us we matter, it is imperative that we acknowledge this for ourselves. We invite you to give it a try. <add video> The key to living a whole and healthy life is knowing you matter even when you make mistakes. As you start this New Year, may you affirm that You Matter. Perhaps now is the right time to begin a
When it was my turn to present, I shared the I
new practice. By: Ellie Peterson, Creator of Meditative Movements
I Matter Meditative Movement Link
3 GREAT Workshops for Teens by LifeScape Counseling Services, LLC! Registration Required Call 239-285-5883 for more information
28
UNMAZED MAGAZINE: ASK THE EXPERT
Dear Ask The Expert, I keep hearing about scholarships that are available around where I live, but I can't seem to find them. Can you help? -Bryan, West Palm Beach
Dear Bryan, Within any given community, there exists a number of civic
organizations might not have a web page to begin with, and
organizations or groups. These groups often raise funds
if they do it’s not likely to be a top result from Google’s
throughout the year for a variety of reasons and one of those is
algorithm, unless you are searching for something very
often scholarships. These local scholarships can be quite
specific in which case you probably already know what you
lucrative but they are not always the easiest to find. So, here is
need to know about the scholarship. Students would be
your guide to what can add up to a substantial amount of
better served keeping tabs on local newspapers where
money.
information about these and the fundraisers they are supported by are often published.
Indeed, not all of these scholarships might seem like a lot of money on their face. You might find some scholarships that
Lastly, you can just ask around. If a student or their parents
reward as little $100 which could seem like a drop in the
have connections to civic groups, ask a member of the group
bucket towards tuition and other college costs. However, a
offers a scholarship. I suppose my point here is that students
resourceful student who is able to win a handful $100
are going to need in look in some places they are not used to
scholarships might be able to make a meaningful impact on
or are not comfortable with to find these scholarships. They
their college costs.
are going to have to get off-line, read a newspaper, and talk to real people on the phone or in person. That’s where these
So, where do you find these scholarships? Local high schools,
types of scholarships are most likely to be found and there a
whether you attend there or not, or a good place to start. The
lot of them.
people who offer the scholarships are often volunteers so they might be looking to get the word out as easily as they can. They
It is worth it though. While there are some small
also might have attended school at a time when school choice
scholarships out there, many of these organizations have
was not as prominent as it is today, so they could be unaware of
well-oiled fundraisers, endowments, and volumes of
all the avenues available as a high school. These people are
contributors that make for hefty prizes. There are several
going to go the easy route as they distribute information about
organizations in my community that offer scholarships in the
the scholarships they offer and that means the local public high
thousands of dollars and some of those are renewable each
school.
year. Unfortunately, these scholarships are not flush with applicants, so the competition is slim. That’s a good thing for
You can try to google these scholarships, but that might lead to
these students who choose to apply and it makes their effort
dead ends. The civic
in finding these all that much more worthwhile.
DON ARENDS
Ask the Expert By: Rob Hicks, School Counselor at Fernandina Beach High School, Blogger at Guidey.blogspot.com
5
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UNMAZED MAGAZINE: UPCOMING FEATURED
Upcoming Featured Be sure to check out our upcoming topics for student success
Teen's Guide to High School and Program choice; accelerated programs, high school options, and specialized schooling
FEB MARCH
Teen's Guide to Community Service; Internships, Volunteering, Local and State Organizations
APRIL MAY
Teen's Guide to Academic Planning; developing a plan that works for each student and their career goals
Teen's Guide to Mastering Testing; test preparation, Advanced Placement, International Baccalaureate, Cambridge AICE, ACT, SAT, state testing
Teen's Guide to Careers; career and technical programs, choosing a major, career exploration, and personality tests
JUNE
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