UnMazed Magazine: Guide to the New Year (January 2019)

Page 1

January 2019

UnMazed Magazine

Teen's Guide to the New Year

Resolutions that Work Mentorship College Planning And More!


C O N T E N T SÂ Teen's Guide to the New Year January 2019 Featured:

8 New Year's Resolutions for College Going Teens 11 Denied: How to Respond to College Rejection 15 Infographic: Top New Year's Resolutions for Teens 18 Bridging the Gap through Mentorship 20 Campus Safety: What Every Student Must Know, Part II

24 Calming the Teen Storm 26 You Matter, You Matter, You Matter, Matter, Matter 28 Ask The Expert: Community Scholarship Search


Subscribe today GET YOUR FREE MONTHLY MAGAZINE DELIVERED TO YOUR EMAIL 30 30

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4 UNMAZED MAGAZINE: EDITOR LETTER

Letter from the Editor As 2019 is quickly approaching, I sit and reflect on how far UnMazed Magazine has gone in 2018! It was a tremendous year as we begun laying

the

foundation

to

bring

quality

information to parents and teens from educational experts who care about student success for our Florida students. Here are some of UnMazed's statistics this year: 24,500 views 43 educational experts 9 editions 10 webinars Sharing these statistics are important because it provides a baseline on where we want to go for this year. Whether our New Year's Resolution is to lose weight, become more involved, disconnect from technology, or learn a new skill, we have to first know where we are currently at. So while I love writing, I have always been terrible at journaling, but there is immense value in using reflective practice in your every day life. Whether you do so quietly in your head at the end of the night or write down something in a notebook, being open and honest about the things you liked about the day (or month or year) and what you did not like helps you understand what changes (if any) need to be made to become your best self. This month's writers all focused on creating positive energy for the New Year. Whether you read AJ Donaldson's article on the benefits of mentoring in a student's life or about mindfulness practices from Dr. Laura Baltodano, this month's edition is a wealth of information on making positive changes for 2019. I wish you all the best as you close out 2018 and usher in 2019! By: Dr. Amanda Sterk, Senior Editor and Founder of UnMazed Magazine asterk@unmaze.me


JANUARY 2019, ISSUE 9, UNMAZED MAGAZINE

Magazine articles and more can be found at www.unmaze.me Where Florida experts meet for teen success.

Contact us: We enjoy hearing from from parents, students, and educators throughout the state. Send us your photos, letters, or comments to asterk@unmaze.me. Or visit us online: www.unmaze.me Do you want to collaborate? This magazine is designed for educators across the state to share their expertise on a variety of topics. We welcome those who would like to participate in creating this resource.

5


UnMazed Where Experts Meet for Teen Success

Editors SENIOR EDITOR

Amanda Sterk, Ed.D., is CEO of Florida Center for Educational Planning and author of College UnMazed: Your Guide Through the Florida College & University System. She currently works at Florida SouthWestern State College as Director of Accelerated Programs.. Dr. Sterk has been an educator for 20 years as a teacher, school counselor, and administrator. She is founder of the Florida teen resource, www.unmaze.me.Â

www.unmaze.me


Contributing Writers 8

11

18

Ashley McNaughton is an independent college counselor and founder of ACM College Consulting, LLC. She has her BS in Business from Bucknell,, and Certificate in College Counseling from UCLA. Alongside her consulting work, she volunteers with ScholarMatch, a nonprofit helping high achieving, low income students get to college.

Don Arends, M.Ed., is a high school counselor in Newton, Iowa, where he has served students for 24 years after teaching English for nine. He works closely with the school’s highest-achieving students as the AP, PSAT, and ACT test coordinator. He has witnessed first-hand the pressure students feel to be admitted to their first choice of college and has witnessed fist-hand the amazing things that can happen when those students wind up attending their fourth, fifth, or seventh choice. AJ Donaldson, is Founder of United Mentors, which is a fully equipped academic mentoring service that helps students succeed with an individualized approach and established network of reputable mentors. career Donaldson has successfully tutored more than 500 students in a variety of subjects, crafting a unique and comprehensive methodology that guarantees student cooperation and success.

20

Jennifer Murphy, MS, AS, has been working with Sex Crimes victims/Survivors for over 30 years. She if founder of Fabulous Faithful Freedom Fighters, Inc.

24

Dr. Laura Baltodano lost her son, Andrew, to suicide in June 2018. In his honor, she is passionate about making a difference in the lives of others to support them in living a fulfilling life. She is equipped with multiple tools to aid in that mission and has enlisted others to Andrew’s Anthem to assist with the cause.

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Ellie Peterson, When Ellie Peterson was 23 years old, she was divorced and raising three children on her own while making $80 a week. Her body was unhealthy; her mind was chaotic, and her spiritual being was weighed down with fear, self-pity, anger, and worthlessness. Life was overwhelming. At this low point, she created the Meditative Movements™ technique to heal her body, mind and being. Rob Hicks, M.Ed.,has worked in public schools for 16 years. He is a school counselor at Fernandina Beach High School and the Ogburn School. He maintains the "Getting My Guide On" blog about all things school counselor at guidey.blogspot.com and writes about local history.

Do you have a passion for teen success? Would you like to write for an innovative magazine written by educators across the state? Connect with us today!

Contributors Website


8

UNMAZED MAGAZINE: FEATURED

New Year's Resolutions for College Going Teens

Most 15 and 16 year olds are thinking about

what the process has become and it is in

their next game, their latest high school

their best interest to start early. Here are

crush, or getting their driver’s license, not

four resolutions for high school students

about their college plans for 2 -3 years

considering college.

down the road. It seems a bit unfair that they should have to think about such

Sophomores – Spend time researching

important things at a young age, but that is

college and career options


ASHLEY MCNAUGHTON By now, many students have already taken some

Seniors – Continue to put forth best effort in school

version of the SAT or ACT and had a broad discussion

and remember college decisions are NOT everything

of college plans with their parents and/or high school

counselor. What they probably haven't done is

By now many students at this stage in their high

actually sit down and do some self reflecting and

school careers have completed their applications,

research. What are their potential career and course

especially those for out-of-state colleges. Most of those

of study interests? What type of college do they

even have their offers of admission already. The first

envision for themselves? What are the requirements

of two resolutions for students at this time are to

for admission to those colleges? They should make it

continue to put forth their best effort in school. There

a goal to spend time doing research now while they

are plenty of other students willing to take their spot at

still have time to adjust their high school path, visit

their potential future college and there is little room

schools, prep for tests, and set up job shadowing and

for slacking and decline in grades. Colleges do pay

classes to help them with their admission and final

attention to this and indeed have the power to revoke

decision. That small amount of time they spend over

their admission offer if they feel the student is not

the next year has the potential to make a BIG

meeting their academic standards.

difference.

The second resolution and unarguably the most

important,

Juniors – Establish college application timeline and

admissions

goals NOW

Unfortunately colleges are unable to truly get to know

each student before making an acceptance decision.

Students in their next to last year of high school

Although a student may not have gotten into their

should

college

dream school, their future is still very bright and they

applications now! Although they may not have their

have plenty of opportunity to shape it the way they

'list' narrowed down to the final few schools, it is not

want it to be. Every college has something great to

too early to establish personal deadlines for getting

offer, students just have to take advantage of it. I do

their applications done. The key is to set those

believe some colleges are better fits than others and

deadlines early - take the potential college deadlines

strive to help students find the best matches, but ‘the

and move them back by 6-8 weeks! There can be a lot

perfect college’ does not exist. College is only the

of unexpected delays, added requirements and other

beginning of the journey. It can be a spectacular part

bumps along the college application road, and it is

of it, but it is not everything and it is certainly not the

better to be done early than to risk an incomplete

end.

establish

their

timeline

for

is

for

students

decisions

are

to

remember not

everything.

application. Students who stay organized and work ahead often forget to take into consideration the fact that there are pieces to the applications which are not in their hands. Recommendation letters, high school transcripts, and test scores are just a few examples of requirements which may not be sent directly by the student. Students need to give their counselors and recommenders plenty of time to complete their documents.

that

By: Ashley McNaughton, Founder of ACM College Consulting, LLC.

9


10

UNMAZED MAGAZINE: FEATURED

6 %

Of Florida students enroll in college after high school

However.. only

%

of SW Florida workers have a degree or certificate

The FutureMakers Coalition wants to change that statistic If you are a business owner, organization, educator, community member, or simply want to be a part of real educational change to better our community, find out more at www.futuremakerscoalition.com


What is UnMazed: 40+

18,000

125+

Monthly Readers

Articles, Videos & Webinars

Contributors

UnMazed (www.unmaze.me) started as one school counselor's mission to bring quality, expert resources to high school students and parents across Florida for teen success in academics, college and career, and social/ emotional needs. After launching UnMazed Magazine, a digital publication that reaches over 4,000 school counselors monthly, it has grown to over 40+ expert contributors across the state and nationally. In it's first month of publication, it was read and shared over 18,000 times and is continuing to grow daily.

COMMUNITY RESOURCE DIRECTORY Teen Resources - Academic Support - Personal/ Social Support - Volunteering/ Internships - Programs & Clubs College & Career Resources - High School Planning - College & Career Planning - Scholarships & Financial Aid - Colleges & Universities - Career & Technical Programs Community Resources - Family Support - Educational - Teen Event Planning - Organizational Support

MAGAZINE DIRECTORY WEBSITE WEBINARS

UnMazed is your Community Resource for Florida teen issues. www.unmaze.me


11 UnMazed Magazine: DON ARENDS

De

ni

ed

DENIED: How to Respond to College Rejection

“Hey , have you heard

many of whom didn’t

back from Stanford yet, honey?”

have an academic record good enough to even consider

Your nervous eyes dart to the rejection

application to Stanford.

letter sprawled painfully open on your desk,

You’re good at math (or you likely would

your ego lying gasping. You hope your mom and

not be applying to Stanford), so you know with a

your goldfish didn’t notice the letter or the gasping

six percent acceptance rate many more get the

or your nervous eyes. The color drains from your

same letter you got than the happy one. I know,

face. You wonder which is worse: being rejected or

doesn’t feel better yet, does it? You wanted to be

telling your mom – and friends and teachers and

one of the few, the proud, the Igotins.

goldfish – that you were rejected.

Well, first (or wait, is that second?), rejection is not supposed to feel good. It is okay to grieve

And furthermore… now what?

over the rejection. It means it mattered to you. But the grief cannot stall out your pursuit of

In my quarter century of counseling students at a

excellence. In fact, make it the opposite.

large high school, I have seen this much, much

more often than invitations to a party celebrating

Life is full of serendipity.

acceptance to Stanford, or Harvard, or Notre

successful person, and you’ll hear stories of it

Dame. So first, welcome to the rest of us, the great

from virtually every one of them. Many of the

Just talk to any


DON ARENDS 13

8% Average acceptance rate for Ivy League schools

48%

students who were denied admission

but for motivation. Now, scrapbooking

to

Hard-To-Get-Into-University

your rejection letter is up to you, but

found their experiences at their

the point is this: Don’t collapse from the

eventual choice could not have been

pressure of “no.” Grow from it. Commit

matched by HTGIU.

They found

to creating an experience at your school

lives, they found friends, they found

which renders moot the rejection letter.

dreams, and yes, they even found

Still not there?

jobs after completing degrees at their own schools. Remember, only a third

Okay, let’s try this: Over my years I

of Americans over 25 have earned

have worked frequently with boys and

even bachelor’s degrees, so whether

girls who feel rejected after a break up.

your degree comes from HTGIU or

(Wait… wasn’t this about college? Hang

the university an hour away, it will

on, this is going somewhere.)

be quite an accomplishment. Soak

suggestion I make which seems to

that in. Still don’t feel better?

impact these young people is “live your

One

life so your ex regrets his or her Well, think of this: When we are

rejection of you.” Those who choose

rejected, it hurts.

That’s universal

this usually discover that they are

unless you didn’t want to be accepted

better off anyway without the schmo

in the first place (And don’t tell

who dumped them.

friends that… they know it’s a

Acceptance rate for University of Florida

61%

defense

But

what

You’re smart. You get it, right? (Sheesh,

happens next is what separates the

humble

successful from the not. Many artists

students who applied to Harvard or

and

multiple

Stanford or others of such ilk.) Achieve

rejections. JK Rowling was turned

at such a level that HTGIU will feel like

away by twelve publishers when she

they missed one, that they erred in

queried an odd little story about a

rejecting your application. The world is

boy wizard. (Reflect for a moment on

full of people who have accomplished

this: Twelve people whose job it is to

amazing things upon earning degrees

recognize marketable books missed

from the not-so HTGIU. So the next

on

in

time you think of that rejection, the

Suddenly, the admission

next time you read those words of the

counselor who signed your letter

letter on your desk, let these three

doesn’t seem so daunting now, huh?)

words resonate in your soul: “I’ll show

authors

the

history.

Acceptance rate for Florida Gulf Coast University

mechanism).

tell

of

greatest-selling

series

writer,

you’re

writing

to

you.” And JK’s certainly not alone. Google “famous

failures”

and

you’ll

be

“Is that your letter from Stanford there,

clicking until you get Carpal Tunnel.

honey?”

Many of those artists and authors

intentioned bone in her body a good

keep those rejection letters.

one. She so wants to hug you. "Yeah,

Not

because they enjoy self-punishment

she

asks

mom, it is,” you say flatly.

with

every


UNMAZED MAGAZINE: FEATURED

14

You see the hesitation in her face before she

they missed one, that they erred in rejecting

rushes over and scans it quickly. “I’m sorry,” she

your application. The world is full of people who

pushes out past her lips. Her eyes are as flat as

have accomplished amazing things upon earning

yours were when you read it.

degrees from the not-so HTGIU. So the next time you think of that rejection, the next time you

“Don’t be,” you say, and you let the words

read those words of the letter on your desk, let

soothe you and her. “I’ll be okay.” And you know

these three words resonate in your soul: “I’ll

you will. Your mom sees clean to your soul and

show you.”

she knows you will too. “Is that your letter from Stanford there, honey?” Mom hugs you anyway. More impressed with

she asks with every intentioned bone in her

you now than she would have been had you

body a good one. She so wants to hug you.

been accepted.

“Yeah, mom, it is,” you say flatly.

Let the rejection letter be fuel. Let it be food. Let it be fire. And if I try to fit one more metaphor in

You see the hesitation in her face before she

here,

rushes over and scans it quickly. “I’m sorry,” she

my

college

English

professor

would

reprimand me.

pushes out past her lips. Her eyes are as flat as yours were when you read it.

Oh, that would be my professor at state university, by the way.

“Don’t be,” you say, and you let the words soothe you and her. “I’ll be okay.” And you know

Okay, let’s try this:

Over my years I have

worked frequently with boys and girls who feel

you will. Your mom sees clean to your soul and she knows you will too.

rejected after a break up. (Wait… wasn’t this about

college?

somewhere.)

Hang

on,

this

is

going

Mom hugs you anyway. More impressed with

One suggestion I make which

you now than she would have been had you

seems to impact these young people is “live your

been accepted.

life so your ex regrets his or her rejection of

you.” Those who choose this usually discover

Let the rejection letter be fuel. Let it be food. Let

that they are better off anyway without the

it be fire. And if I try to fit one more metaphor in

schmo who dumped them.

here,

my

college

English

professor

would

reprimand me. You’re smart. You get it, right? (Sheesh, humble writer, you’re writing to students who applied to

Oh, that would be my professor at state

Harvard or Stanford or others of such ilk.)

university, by the way.

Achieve at such a level that HTGIU will feel like By Don Arends, M.Ed., School counselor at Newton High School



16

UNMAZED MAGAZINE: INFOGRAPHIC When it's bed time, turn the phone off

Welcome to 2019! I truly hope this will be your best year yet! Whether you are starting your teen years or starting to think about your college transition, this

Set the phone aside when studying

time of year is a great time to reflect on what 2018 brought you, but also what you want from 2019.

UNPLUG

Use apps that make you happy

You can easily Google "New Year's Resolutions" and look for a list of ideas. Of course, getting healthy,

Make an effort to connect face-to-face

become more organized, and read more books, seem to top the list.

Top New Resolutio Tee

However, the best way to make and keep New Year's Resolutions is to make them 1) Attainable, 2) Have a Plan, 3) Share, and 4) Make them Personal. What I want may be completely different than what you

Learn a new language

Start the year off best teen New Ye

want. So here are my tips, no matter what resolutions you pick. 1. Attainable- Making goals that

LEARN SOMETHING NEW

Explore your passions and interests

are attainable help with your selfconfidence and feeling like you completed something. Make small goals inside of large goals so you do not feel discouraged. For example, if you want to run a half-marathon race, start with the goal of running 3 miles without stopping, a few

Ask questions to those who know a unique skill

Commit to a set amount of time every day/ week

weeks later add a fourth mile, and so on until you have met your goal.

DOWNLOAD LINK 2. Plan- Plan for your goals. Whatever they may be write them

BE A BE PERS Write short notes of gratitude to those that support you

Treat everyone with respect


DOWNLOAD

17

Ask for help down so they are clearly visible

Journal every day

everyday. A "Vision Board"or a journal help you stay on track and mark off small and large goals.

GIVE SELF CARE

Talk through your emotional struggles with a trusted friend/ adult

3. Share- Keeping goals to yourself makes it hard for you to be accountable for reaching those goals, and also makes it harder to celebrate your successes. I learned

Prioritize quality sleep

to crochet this year off of YouTube. While I have completely messed up multiple times, I found several communities that openly shared

w Year's ons for ens

our mistakes and wins! I have

Share your thoughts of appreciation and love to those around you

right with the ar Resolutions

found a unique group that supports my fun little habit and gives me ideas on how to grow the next time. 4.Personal-While your plan might not be to learn to crochet (you can seriously make some cool stuff!),

LOVE MORE

Make an effort to contact those who you don't see often

it's what I have learned to enjoy and I have embraced it. You need to

find

resolutions

that

are

personal to you. If you are not invested, both in time and energy,

Find people that lift you up

TTER ON

Forgive those who have hurt you

you simply won't be successful. So whether you want to learn a new language so you can travel on church/ school trip, or earn better grades so you have a chance at getting into your dream school, you have to make resolutions that are important to you.

Do community service that is Think more, meaningful to say less you

By: Dr. Amanda Sterk, Author of College UnMazed: Your Guide Through the Florida College & University System

Whatever your goals are, I wish you the best so you can be your best!


18

UNMAZED MAGAZINE: FEATURED

Bridging the Gap through Mentorship As community members, we naturally default to the

Unfortunately,

responsibility of our education system to ensure our

intervention is deemed necessary, it’s often after a

students maintain a well-rounded, comprehensive

child has already regressed considerably. Many

educational experience. We rely on our teachers to

students find dwindled interest in subjects where

prepare students for state exams and pass them onto

their personal interests aren’t fostered. Likewise,

the next grade level, all while peaking their interest

students may easily become discouraged when

in sports and engaging their curiosity for the arts.

they can’t keep up with the quick pace of today’s

Yet, in an often understaffed sector, it isn’t until

classroom. With little or no time for the extra

students begin to receive failing grades or display a

attention needed, students may quickly fall behind

lack of interest in school activities that red flags

their peers. It isn’t until the system has already

begin waiving.

failed to recognize a student’s need for help when

By: AJ Donaldson, Founder of United Mentors

by

the

the call for change begins.

time

an

educational


AJ DONALDSON

"By identifying our own gifts and talents, we can best assess how to serve those students in need of guidance and educational support." Unfortunately,

by

the

time

an

educational

unique interests of a student, we are capable of

intervention is deemed necessary, it’s often after a

guiding them towards the space where they best

child has already regressed considerably. Many

thrive. A blanket of Math, English and Science

students find dwindled interest in subjects where

skills are inherently necessary, but fail to serve

their personal interests aren’t fostered. Likewise,

each

students may easily become discouraged when they

students receive the freedom to explore atypical

can’t keep up with the quick pace of today’s

opportunities that may not be offered in the

classroom. With little or no time for the extra

traditional

attention needed, students may quickly fall behind

rewarding way to ensure each student can reach

their peers. It isn’t until the system has already

their great potential is by meeting them where

failed to recognize a student’s need for help when

they are and equipping them with the tools to

the call for change begins.

explore budding career opportunities, personal

passions and help develop pertinent skill sets for

With new challenges inside the classroom arising

their chosen path.

student

equally.

school

Through

setting.

The

mentorship,

single,

most

each day, a renewed standard for hiring educators is needed. As we delve deeper into

Education extends far beyond what happens in an

educational issues directly affecting the children in

average

our community throughout future publications, we

organizations, community members have the

intend to shine a light on how community members

opportunity to get involved and positively impact

can spearhead change in our education system.

a student’s future. By identifying our own gifts

Pursuing a network of caring, passionate and

and talents, we can best assess how to serve those

dedicated teachers is imperative, but it’s what

students in need of guidance and educational

happens outside of the classroom that can also

support. Often, this means a gesture as simple as

initiate an important change for our students.

donating time can have an impact that will change

school

day.

Through

individual

a child’s trajectory. What if we dared to say that community members

are educators, too? Bridging the gap between our

Change for our students starts with you and I as

community and our educators has been the

members of the community. Organizations such as

pinnacle of AJ Donaldson’s work in his two decades

United Mentors and the EPIC Foundation exist to

of experience in teaching and mentoring. By

bring

tutoring over 500 students, Donaldson came to

community members that assist students in their

recognize that sometimes, more than financial

transition to the next grade level, post-secondary

support is required to see through a child’s success.

education or into their work field of choice. The

Giving time, expertise and leadership made a lasting

effort to ensure a future generation of leaders and

impact.

positive

forth

all-star

educators

change-makers

begins

and

by

stellar

working

alongside our school systems to create a stronger Mentorship is an important attribute to the overall

educational experience for students, parents and

success of a student. When we acknowledge the

educators alike.

19



JENNIFER MURPHY

CAMPUS SAFETY: WHAT EVERY STUDENT MUST KNOW, PART II In Part 1 of our discussion we covered the all too

that parents start talking to their kids about sex at an

common occurrence of sexual assault on campuses all

early age (age appropriate, of course) and keep talking

over the country and how to protect yourself. There is

about it as the kids grow up and mature towards fully

still more to know to have the safest and best years

functioning young adult people. The “sex talk” isn’t one

while you continue your education.

discussion about the birds and the bees but rather a series of conversations with your children.

For parent’s with students you need to educate yourselves on how your child’s school handles sexual

It is important to understand that supporting healthy

assault and here is why… in 2014, 40% of colleges and

relationships goes a long way to preventing sexual

universities reported not investigating a single sexual

assault. There are several key elements to every

assault on campus the previous 5 years. We think this

healthy relationship including mutual respect and

is unacceptable!! Most college campuses still have

trust,

much work to do in creating safe and supportive

communication. Respect is absolutely a key element to

environments, but they are making progress in the

promote

implementing policies and programs that address

relationships and how we support one another in each

sexual assault prevention on campus and what they

other’s goals and dreams. There is no relationship

can do if they are victimized.

without trust. Knowing that you are there for one

honesty, and

boundaries,

model

healthy

consent attitudes

and about

another is powerful and helps promote healthy goal What every unwanted sexual encounter has in

setting and maintain healthy communication without

common is the lack of CONSENT. Consent is one of the

judgment or criticism. This applies to every aspect of

most important elements of a healthy relationship.

the relationship. From breakfast at the kitchen table to

However, intimate consent is often misunderstood.

romantic evenings behind closed doors. If for some

Let’s clear this up now, so there is no confusion in your

reason trust is broken it will take therapy, time and

mind if you have, in fact, been sexually assaulted. Sex

patience to earn it back, if at all. Don’t take the trust

without consent isn’t sex. It isn’t romantic. It isn’t sexy.

you and your partner share for granted. Boundaries

Sex without consent is rape or sexual assault. At

give everyone the right to set limits, say no, feel safe

Fabulous Faithful Freedom Fighters, Inc. Sex Crimes

and supported without condemnation. Consent is the

Specialist Outreach, we encourage parents to discuss

agreement without fear or pressure. And last, but not

this issue with their kids. Both boys and girls need to

least, without honest & clear communication the

fully understand the legal & moral obligations to

relationship won’t be healthy and likely won’t last.

getting consent prior to any sexual activity. We suggest

Partners need to communicate in a healthy way, so you

PART I LINK

21


CONSENT IS...

can express yourself honestly with partners, friends, colleagues, teachers & family. A good rule to consider: Mean what you say and

1. Voluntary, mutual, can be withdrawn at any

say what you mean. This makes expectations clear and it helps avoid

time and is enthusiastic.

disappointments, misunderstandings and conflict.

2. Past consent does NOT mean current or

College/University time can be thrilling and fun but can also be

future consent.

stressful and overwhelming. So, as you embark on this exciting season of your life remember that it’s not always best to be in a

3. Consent means EVERY time.

relationship. You can focus on your goals, plans and dreams because you have the rest of your life to do the partnered/dating/relationship

4. No means no.

thing. Don’t let peer pressure or anything else stand in your way of achieving your educational goals and dreams. It’s ok to just do you

5. No doesn’t mean convince me.

now. It’s probably the last season of your life where you get

6. There is no consent if an individual is mentally or physically incapacitated or impaired. Under the influence an individual is not legally capable to give consent because they can not understand the facts, nature or extent of the sexual situation. 7. The Federal age of consent for nonrestricted sexual activity is 18. 8. Each state varies between 16-18 for consent for sexual activity to be legal. 9. Someone under the age of consent is legally unable to give consent therefore any activity is considered sexual assault under the law. This is where Statutory Rape Statutes often come into the play. If you are 15 and your partner is 17 and you engage in sexual activity, technically that is considered rape/sexual assault under the law. 10. The legal age of consent for sexual activity in Florida is 18. If you are 17 and under and our engaging in sexual activity you are breaking the law.

By: Jennifer Murphy, Founder of Fabulous Faithful Freedom Fighters


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UNMAZED MAGAZINE: HEALTH

24

CALMING THE TEEN STORM

Have you ever found yourself with your fingers

without striving for things to be any different than they

interlaced through your hair pressing and digging into

are. It provides a way to step out of ‘automatic pilot’

your scalp, or perhaps even pulling your hair, in

and see life in a different way; it is a form of awakening.

frustration? From the moment you wake up, it seems

Bringing

that everyone is demanding of your attention. It is no

experiences can change everything. Aspects of mindful

wonder that before the day has even gotten into full

living include, but are not limited to, mindfulness-based

swing, you are completely overwhelmed and wishing

stress reduction (MBSR), mindful self-compassion

you were somewhere else. Know that you are not alone

(MSC) and mindful eating.

in this. We live full, busy lives. We are wanted and

needed. That is a great thing! However, in order to be

In the busyness of modern day society, where we are

fully present and available for everyday demands, it is

constantly on the go and wrapped up in ‘doing’,

important to reset each day.

mindfulness is our STOP button. It provides us with a

space to consider alternative ways of responding to

How do we accomplish this? It seems that we are left to

both internal and external stressors.

navigate this on our own. The concept of living a life of

purpose and meaning can seem like an impossible task

Viktor Frankl, a holocaust survivor, neurologist and

at times in our society of busyness and to-dos. We may

psychologist explains it best: “Between stimulus and

look in the mirror one day and may not recognize the

response there is a space. In that space is our power to

person looking back at us. It may seem impossible to

choose our response. In our response lies our growth

find our way towards what we perceive life is supposed

and our freedom.”

to be like. We may feel hopeless at times and that life is

pointless and meaningless.

There is a correlation between stress and health

outcomes. When presented with a stimulus, we are

Mindfulness has become a “buzz” word lately and with

usually acting from a place of reactivity. Our

good reason; however, what we call mindfulness has

sympathetic nervous system is activated and the “flight

been around for thousands of years. The practice of

or fight” response kicks in. This system is in place as a

mindfulness involves intentionally being fully present

survival mechanism and is very useful in acute

in each moment with kindness, non-judgmentally and

situations. However, when activated chronically as it is

this

awareness

to

moment-to-moment


DR. LAURA BALTODANO 25 in modern day society, it has multiple adverse effects including adrenal fatigue, lack of motivation or drive, physical and/or

Take action:

emotional exhaustion and disease.

Make a commitment to begin

With this understanding, one can move forward with intention to

pressing the STOP button when

make positive changes; however, it may be difficult to know where

presented

to begin. A new local Non-Profit Organization, Andrew’s Anthem, was established to support individuals in finding their sustainable

with

a

stressful

situation.

path to joy amidst the chaos. Our mission is to do our part in making the world a better place for all. Andrew's Anthem is a suicide prevention initiative with a focus on promotion of wellbeing through programs and courses which provide coping skills and resilience tools and strategies. We focus on the art of fully living; not just surviving, but thriving.

S– stop and interrupt ‘automatic

Andrew's Anthem is in the business of empowering individuals

pilot’ by concentrating on the

to live joyful lives filled with purpose and meaning despite daily challenges. The work we do at our Non-Profit Organization is

present moment

aimed at providing a holistic approach to solving some of our

society’s biggest struggles. We make sure our partners are

T– take a deep breath (or a few

empowered by creating opportunities for individuals, families and communities. Our vision is to create a safe space where everyone

if you need to) and bring your

belongs, where they are seen and heard. A community of

attention to your breath as a

connection and inclusion where multiple programs will be offered

focus point

including: MBSR, MSC, Awakening Joy, mindful movement, time

management, empowerment workshops, silent retreats, youth camps and more. It is our greatest desire to serve the community

O– observe the situation from

as a resource and support for emotional and mental wellbeing.

the point of view of a scientist

recovering data. Connect to the

“We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When

present moment and determine

the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.” ~ Buddha

what is arising for you with a sense of curiosity. In what ways

By: Dr. Laura Baltodano, Founder of Andrew's Anthem

can you respond that would be positive and fruitful in the current interaction. P– proceed and reconnect with your

surroundings.

Respond

mindfully to the situation at hand.


UNMAZED MAGAZINE: ELLIE PETERSON

26

You Matter. You Matter. You Matter, Matter, Matter! On December 13, 2018 many local area high school students attended the Future Makers Coalition Dream Summit.

They

received

FAFSA

and

scholarship

information, student resources, prizes, and inspiration to follow their dreams. The event was held at the Collaboratory

which

houses

Southwest

Florida

Community Foundation’s new regional offices and offers meeting, tenant, and social gathering places, special event venues, and shared working and collaboration spaces. Bobby Petrocelli, the motivational speaker, told his powerful story. His main message was that “You Matter.” There is no one exactly like you. And because you are here, you have a purpose that only you can fulfill. Like Bobby, I have found that when we do harm (to our self or others) it is because we feel inadequate and are hurting inside. Healing occurs when we acknowledge the pain and forgive.

Matter

Meditative

Movement™.

Meditative

Movements™ is a new mind-body technique that has been found to reduce anxiety, depression and fatigue while improving emotional and functional well-being per the 2017 University of Minnesota research study. The movements are designed so you can have fun moving your body while retraining your brain with nurturing messages. For many of us, we were never told that we mattered. While it is great to have someone else tell us we matter, it is imperative that we acknowledge this for ourselves. We invite you to give it a try. <add video> The key to living a whole and healthy life is knowing you matter even when you make mistakes. As you start this New Year, may you affirm that You Matter. Perhaps now is the right time to begin a

When it was my turn to present, I shared the I

new practice. By: Ellie Peterson, Creator of Meditative Movements

I Matter Meditative Movement Link


3 GREAT Workshops for Teens by LifeScape Counseling Services, LLC! Registration Required Call 239-285-5883 for more information


28

UNMAZED MAGAZINE: ASK THE EXPERT

Dear Ask The Expert, I keep hearing about scholarships that are available around where I live, but I can't seem to find them. Can you help? -Bryan, West Palm Beach

Dear Bryan, Within any given community, there exists a number of civic

organizations might not have a web page to begin with, and

organizations or groups. These groups often raise funds

if they do it’s not likely to be a top result from Google’s

throughout the year for a variety of reasons and one of those is

algorithm, unless you are searching for something very

often scholarships. These local scholarships can be quite

specific in which case you probably already know what you

lucrative but they are not always the easiest to find. So, here is

need to know about the scholarship. Students would be

your guide to what can add up to a substantial amount of

better served keeping tabs on local newspapers where

money.

information about these and the fundraisers they are supported by are often published.

Indeed, not all of these scholarships might seem like a lot of money on their face. You might find some scholarships that

Lastly, you can just ask around. If a student or their parents

reward as little $100 which could seem like a drop in the

have connections to civic groups, ask a member of the group

bucket towards tuition and other college costs. However, a

offers a scholarship. I suppose my point here is that students

resourceful student who is able to win a handful $100

are going to need in look in some places they are not used to

scholarships might be able to make a meaningful impact on

or are not comfortable with to find these scholarships. They

their college costs.

are going to have to get off-line, read a newspaper, and talk to real people on the phone or in person. That’s where these

So, where do you find these scholarships? Local high schools,

types of scholarships are most likely to be found and there a

whether you attend there or not, or a good place to start. The

lot of them.

people who offer the scholarships are often volunteers so they might be looking to get the word out as easily as they can. They

It is worth it though. While there are some small

also might have attended school at a time when school choice

scholarships out there, many of these organizations have

was not as prominent as it is today, so they could be unaware of

well-oiled fundraisers, endowments, and volumes of

all the avenues available as a high school. These people are

contributors that make for hefty prizes. There are several

going to go the easy route as they distribute information about

organizations in my community that offer scholarships in the

the scholarships they offer and that means the local public high

thousands of dollars and some of those are renewable each

school.

year. Unfortunately, these scholarships are not flush with applicants, so the competition is slim. That’s a good thing for

You can try to google these scholarships, but that might lead to

these students who choose to apply and it makes their effort

dead ends. The civic

in finding these all that much more worthwhile.


DON ARENDS

Ask the Expert By: Rob Hicks, School Counselor at Fernandina Beach High School, Blogger at Guidey.blogspot.com

5


30

UNMAZED MAGAZINE: UPCOMING FEATURED

Upcoming Featured Be sure to check out our upcoming topics for student success

Teen's Guide to High School and Program choice; accelerated programs, high school options, and specialized schooling

FEB MARCH

Teen's Guide to Community Service; Internships, Volunteering, Local and State Organizations

APRIL MAY

Teen's Guide to Academic Planning; developing a plan that works for each student and their career goals

Teen's Guide to Mastering Testing; test preparation, Advanced Placement, International Baccalaureate, Cambridge AICE, ACT, SAT, state testing

Teen's Guide to Careers; career and technical programs, choosing a major, career exploration, and personality tests

JUNE

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