Analogue Dating in the Digital Age

In an age where dating has gone digital, is there still a place for meeting someone the 'old-fashioned' way?

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single person in possession of a smart phone must be on Tinder.

However, when I found myself single at the beginning of the year, the idea of deep diving into a digital abyss of swipes and Super Likes left me somewhat cold. So, when my HerCanberra colleagues questioned whether it’s possible to date sans digital help in this modern age, I decided to rise to the challenge.

It’s not that I underestimate the power of digital dating. My friendship group is peppered with couples for whom love really was a (right) swipe away. But as someone who tries their hardest to digital detox outside of work hours, I liked the idea of as much face-toface interaction as possible.

Dating the ‘old-fashioned way’ piqued my interest (and let’s be honest, added a layer of novelty and therefore emotional safety to my experiences) so I attempted to explore all the analogue dating options available in Canberra.

From puppies to pub crawls, here's what happened.

Dating with Dogs

Tapping into the Instagram-fuelled canine craze, Dating with Dogs was established by Tatum Brown as a fun way to connect animal lovers and raise money for charity in the process.

I don’t own a dog, but I’m an aunty to one and coveter of many others, so on a sunny autumn afternoon, I found myself trotting towards a melee of people and puppies at Capital Brewing Co for ‘Dating with Dogs (aged 20-30)’.

My initial thought was that it was the perfect low‐pressure re-entry into the dating world. If it sucked and I was awkward, at least I got to hang out with dogs. Luckily I was right about one thing—there was no pressure whatsoever, with dog lovers able to casually socialise with a beer or burger in hand.

While there were some funny moments watching owners try to chat while holding back dogs who were certainly not keen on each other, overall it was the perfect way to ease back into the—let’s be honest—awkward world of dating.

Rating: Three overly-excited puppers out of five.

For upcoming events, keep an eye onfacebook.com/adoptdontshopfoundation

The Third Wheel

Now we’re getting to the really old-school side of things, because Aerin of The Third Wheel is a bonafide matchmaker, or as I saw her, a dating fairy godmother.

Aerin is happily married with two children, but before that she was new to Canberra, uninterested in online dating and wishing that she had a mutual friend to say ‘Hey, I think I know someone you’d like—I’ll introduce you’.

Fast forward and Aerin is now that friend to many Canberrans through her dating service The Third Wheel. Aerin’s services start with a chat over coffee, where she gets to know you as an individual, as well as what you like in a partner. After I detailed what I was looking for (dry sense of humour, reads the news, loves dogs), Aerin had a mental search of her other clients and found one she thought I would hit it off with. After she sketched out some details about who they were, I agreed to a blind date.

But blind dates are scary, right? All those awkward scanning-the-room-please-don’t-let-me-lookdesperate nerves? How will you know what they look like? Who buys the drinks? What if they’re running late?

This is where The Third Wheel concept comes in, because Aerin not only arranges the entire date, but confirms with you on the day, ahead of your date that evening. She even asks what you’d like to drink. Why? Because she’ll be there too, and honestly, I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Walking into the bar for my date, five minutes early and nervous as hell, Aerin’s smiling face was there to greet me and my drink was already on the table. She complimented my outfit and asked about my day, soothing my nerves as I accidentally finished half my rosé.

While I like to think of myself as self-assured, I will admit that going on my first real date in years I felt incredibly vulnerable and was so grateful for Aerin’s presence. When my date arrived, Aerin introduced us with helpful little conversation starters and as soon as we got chatting, she politely excused herself. No awkwardness, whatsoever.

The day after your date, Aerin checks in and asks how it went. If both people want to see each other again, Aerin will arrange a second date and if not, she will break the news gently if need be, and then find another match for you within her client base.

Bippity, boppity, boo.Rating: Four glass slippers out of five.

thethirdwheel.com.au

Cityswoon Adventure Dating

If there was ever something to casually tell your mum, it’s that you’re going Adventure Dating. While I could see from the fear in her eyes that the term conjured up false identities and perhaps a bit of leather, I assured her that this was simply speed dating, albeit in the style of Mission Impossible.

After you sign up on CitySwoon.com.au, you’re rather mysteriously given a location and a time. When you arrive, you’re welcomed by a CitySwoon host, and when the nights starts, a photo and name will ping to your phone, along with instructions to meet your match at the bar.

Your mission (should you choose to accept it) is to date a variety of people across a two-hour period in 14-minute slots, with matches based on CitySwoon’s secret ‘algorithm’.

I will admit, I had low expectations for adventure dating, yet it yielded some great results. And by great results, I mean I came away smiling, with my confidence restored that a few years out of the game had not rendered me banterless and boring. The men I met were passionate, funny and warm. There was not an awkward moment all night (quite possibly due to the icebreaker questions sent to your phone during each date).

The next day, you have the chance to chat to any of your dates (or anyone who was at the event for that matter) via the CitySwoon website.

Rating: Four not-actually-awkward dates out of five.

cityswoon.com.au

The Real Meat 80s Singles Pub Crawl

As soon as I saw ‘80s’ and ‘pub crawl’ in the title of this event, I knew I had to attend. So much so that I turned up late to my own housewarming (just too dedicated to the job, hey).

The Real Meat was created by Jane Peadon, who saw a gap in the market for face-to-face singles events for a younger demographic. With events like barefoot bowls and '80s karaoke, Jane seems to have hit the nail on the head, especially when I rocked up to the private vault at Molly (our first stop of the night) to see people playing Cards Against Humanity.

Some hilarious cards and a complimentary glass of Prosecco later and it felt more like a house party than a dating event. After some more ice breakers, such as ‘would you rather have feet as hands or hands as feet?’ (the latter, obviously), we moved on to The Highball Express and then to 88mph, where I’m told that 80s karaoke really kicked things up a notch.

The pub crawl had just enough structure to not leave us standing around, and the longer timeframe meant that if you did have your eye on someone, you had plenty of chances to strike up a conversation or impress them with your rendition of Total Eclipse of the Heart.

Rating: Four sausages out of five.

facebook.com/pg/therealmeat

So, What Did I Learn?

Well for one, dating isn’t scary. If you’re re-entering the dating scene for the first time in a while and are feeling intimidated or anxious, it is very tempting to stay behind a screen. But there are plenty of options out there that are fun, no-pressure and can lead to real connections with real people in real time. So why not give them a go? You never know what you might find.

PS I’M STILL SINGLE SO HIT ME UP YO. •

Need to Break the Ice?

Asking your date really personal questions became cool after the New York Times published Mandy Len Catron’s wildly popular 'To Fall in Love with Anyone, Do This' article in 2015. Based on a study by psychologist Arthur Aron, the piece listed 36 questions Aron’s study had determined bring two people closer. Like, a lot closer.