2015 men's issue ambition magazine by Ambition Magazine

Be BOLD ON PURPOSE

. g n i t e k r a M e yl t s e f i L . s n o i t a Public Rel y g e t a r t S d n a r B

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

09 |

STYLE BLUEPRINT FOR A FRESH START IN 2015

15 | RECIPIES 29 | 31 | CREDIT | 38 AMBITION

DANGEROUS MINDS INTERVIEW WITH STEVEN CARTER

JUNE 2015

COVER STORY A TALK WITH A GENTLEMAN ENITAN BEREOLA

The Ambition Magazine Production Team Editor-In-Chief LeKeisha Nicole Editorial Consulting Ashley Ferguson

Letter From The Editor From the desk of LeKeisha I don’t know how this year has been shaping up for you, but for us 2015 is flying! It’s already June and here we are with the Men’s issue. This year has brought so many changes and adjustments; for instance we’re working on successfully making the switch to monthly distribution but honestly it has been a daunting task. In our time of transition and rapid change, I want to say thank you for being patient. There have been a few hiccups as expected and you all have supported us through each one. That means a lot to me and the entire Ambition team.

Print Greyden Press, LLC. Graphics Robert Wilburn Photograhy AP2 Photography Public Relations Agency Seven PR

We have some great things in store for the remainder of this year. For starters, this issue has some amazing gentlemen featured that come from various walks of life but all have very interesting stories. Our cover subject, Enitan Bereola is the author of the best-selling Gentlewoman: An interesting conversation from a gentleman to a lady. It was a sincere honor to speak with him and learn about his mission and the reasons why he believes he was called to write the book. That’s just one; we have so many more interesting features and articles for your reading pleasure. Enjoy… live, love, laugh & Be Ambitious

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AMBITIOUS

MAN

OF THE

MONTH

TELVIN NASH OF THE

HOUSTON ASTROS

Age: 24 Hometown: Griffin, Georgia Favorite Number: 23 and 14

Favorite ballpark: Regales field, the Cubs field and the old Yankee stadium are some of the places where the greatest played in the ball park and it’s a honor to play there.

Favorite food: Watermelon, mac and cheese and fish.

Favorite pro sports team outside of baseball: Atlanta Falcons.

When did you begin to play baseball: Started when I was three years old, got drafted at age 17, and I have been playing professionally for 6 years.

How do prepare for the season: I Train very hard, I have some of the best trainers, therapist and coaches. My circles of supporters are very strong and I won’t trade them for the world.

Who are your Favorite Players, past or present: Past I would have to say Barry Bonds Frank Thomas: Present honestly myself, no but honestly Hanley Ramirez.

Who do you admire the most: Jason Hayward and Michael Born they are family orientated they take the job seriously and they have showed me the way.

Who would you pay to watch play: Lebron James and Kobe Bryant.

If not a baseball player you would be: Businessman, law school or football player.

Favorite movie: The Rush Hour series.

What do your friends say about you: I’m humble, hardworking and they call me country.

Favorite type music: Playing baseball you have to be diverse. The music that I play in the car and gets me motivated is Jay-Z, Kanye West Lil Wayne and currently playing Future “Commas” back to back.

Where do you see your life after baseball: I see myself on an island watching my son play baseball and thanking God everyday.

What do you enjoy the most about playing baseball: The adrenaline rush.

What is your most memorable game: When I hit 3 home runs in one game.

What do you find challenging about baseball: Overcoming diversity, it’s not about how you start its how you finish. You have to take it one day at a time and put it in the Lord’s hands.

What are currently concentrating on that working on to improve is it batting, field or pitching: Anything to help the team.

What makes you nervous in a game: The first bat of the game, normally you want to get a first good bat so you can ease through the game and in the 9th ending if your up by 1 or two you want to make all the plays correctly and not giving up the lead finish strong.

Can you give three encouraging tips to an upcoming baseball player? Don’t let nobody tell you what you can’t do Put God first Have fun

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Health and beauty, health and beauty, HEALTH AND BEAUTY! Do I have your attention yet? Health and beauty go together like almond milk and honey nut Cheerios, good hair and a great sew-in, detox water and a glowing complexion, a sunny day and a convertible!

HEALTH & BEAUTY

I know some of you say it’s easier said than done...... I say the same thing. I encourage baby steps such as adding an extra glass of water to your day, using smaller plates, I can’t believe it not butter, not eating/not eating excessively after 530p. These little snippets can lighten your body load. Beauty comes from within. What you eat has a direct effect on how your skin, hair, nails, and your mental state of mind grows and glows every day. Women have a tendency to take care of everyone but themselves. We feel guilty to leave the new baby Joy for time alone, we run Robert Daniel around to all of his spelling bee championships, Paris must have another pair of shoes because she simply cannot wear those same wedges to high school next week, we have to cook every night because if someone else cooks in the kitchen they will burn down the house...... Who takes care of us? Relax and breathe. We have to! We have to take care of ourselves because we are the “Heart” of it all! I challenge you that are not working out yet, you who have not changed your eating plan, you who have not had a Brazilian wax......walk for 30 minutes today, drink a bottle of water now, schedule your Brazilian wax online because tomorrow is not today, and today is your right now! Ms. Lisa

www.ambitionmag.com |

AMBITIOUS

MAN

OF THE

MONTH

Age: 33 Location: Dayton, OH Industry/ Business Type: Talk Show Host, Da Pulse Talk Show What is your why: My children need to see me strive for what I want, the joy I get when I have helped someone, and I refuse to give up. What makes you ambitious: Knowing that is not just about me.God, put me here to do the things I do. So it motivates me to be the best I can be in doing it. What are the struggles that you have previously and are currently experiencing: Understanding why certain things happen, rather itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s to me or someone else. What is the success that you share with everyone? That moment that keeps you going: That Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m just a person who never had much. Most never expected me to do anything but for some reason God picked me to work with celebrities, travel and motivate people. If he did that for me just imagine what he will do for you. What are your goals for the second half of 2015: Finish writing my book and to continue to help as many people as I can. What do advice do you have for our ambitious people out there trying to navigate their goals: Write your goals down, come up with a plan, pray about them daily and never give up. How can people find you: IG: @terrydavoice FB: Terry DaVoice Email: terry62781@gmail.com

TERRY MATTHEWS TERRY

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DA VOICE

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Assessment

We all have certain pieces that we wear a lot these are called your style staples. Items that you wear frequently are the things worth keeping. Everything else is subject for removal.

Cleanse

If you haven’t worn it in a long time or even worse if you haven’t EVER worn it, you probably never will. There is obviously something wrong with it. You don’t like the way it fits on you, the material isn’t what you thought or it just isn’t your style anymore. Either way, do yourself a favor and get rid of it. Sell it, donate it or give it to a friend. This will make room in your closet for your new wardrobe.

Alterations

Many times the reason why pieces sit on the shelf for years without being worn is because we need something hemmed, missing buttons or the waist needs to be taken in. This year make it a point to put aside a few dollars and take your clothes to a tailor. You’ll thank yourself later and your wardrobe will get a much needed facelift. 9 | www.ambitionmag.com

Great Style = Great fit

It is imperative that your clothes are appropriate for your body type. A lot of times we hold on to items because we like how we used to look in them or how they used to fit. Or even worse, we get clothes that don’t fit because we like the lower number on the tag. How many times have you fooled yourself into thinking that if you keep them in your closet it will give you something to look forward to when striving to fit back into your all time favorite jeans? When in reality you are only making yourself feel worse by having to keep looking at your old favorite little black dress every time you get dressed. Focus less on the size. How you look, how you move and how you feel in the clothes is what is most important.

Foundation

For every wardrobe a solid foundation is mandatory. Meaning, you MUST have the correct undergarments to begin with. Ladies! Make your way to your local lingerie store to get fitted for your correct bra size. Men and women, make sure you have the correct under armor on with your outfit choices. No panty lines or oversized undershirts will be permitted in 2015!

STYLE

BLUEPRINT FOR A FRESH

START IN 2015

Assemble your personal style team You should have the following people on speed dial: a great shoe repair shop, a person whose fashion sense you trust, your favorite clothing store and a really good tailor.

These are just a few suggestions on giving your wardrobe a fresh start in 2015. You can add or subtract details where you feel necessary. Happy wardrobe fitting in 2015 and beyond! Until next time, Stay Fashionable! ~The Fashion Wordsmith~ www.thefashionwordsmith.wordpress.com www.ambitionmag.com |

JUST HOW MUCH DOES OBESITY COST YOU? By Shawn Lillard

A recent study from Wayne State University found that obesity can hinder the opportunity to get a job or to move up the ladder. In this study, those that were overweight or obese had less of a chance than their average weight counterparts to have an offer extendedâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;even if they had the credentials necessary to do the job. Unfortunately, there is a set of stereotypes that some hiring managers have about obese candidates that often plays into their hiring decisions. Many times people who are overweight or obese are viewed as lazy, sloppy, untidy, or as having a lack of self-discipline or self-control. Further, overweight individuals are labeled as a health liability, which can be considered cumbersome by some organizations.

any people argue that gym memberships, personal trainers, and other fitness-related expenses can be costly, but just how much does it cost you on a professional level to not invest in those things? Some employers argue that obesity can cost companies thousands of dollars each year due to the increased cost of healthcare and the cost of lost productivity due to chronic illness related to obesity. However, did you also know that obesity can make a difference in whether you are hired, and how much you are paid? 11 | www.ambitionmag.com

In the same vein, another study found that for those who got the job, overweight and obese individuals made an average of $9,000 per year less than their average weight counterparts in the same positions. Again, many of those decisions are based on the hiring managersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; set of values and opinions that may have no validity, but still affect the decisions of those individuals. We know that discrimination on any level is wrong but, unfortunately, it happens. So, as you prepare for your job search, consider the facts in this article. As you polish up your resume and get the right kind of attire for your interview, also consider adding a fitness regimen to your job search strategy. It may make the difference between getting the job or not, and either way, the results will pay out in the end.

AMBITIOUS WOMAN OF THE MONTH

INTERVIEW WITH

ASHA TARRY

sha Tarry who is based in New York is using her platform to assist, bring awareness and educate on the topic of mental health. She created her company Behavioral Health Consulting Services LMSW, PLLC in April 2014 but has been practicing in the field for 15 years. I came across Asha Tarry about 6 months ago on Instagram, where she invited me to participate in a Twitter chat on mental health. I was excited and slightly intimidated because this is an area I have no knowledge and I feel that we are so under educated as community on the subject. Asha and industry friends that were leading the discussion that night helped open my eyes to how much knowledge I lacked but also drove my desire to learn more. Thankfully Asha was able to talk to us and give us some more insight into why she went into this field, which was a nice highlight to May being Mental Health Awareness month. www.ambitionmag.com |

LeKeisha Nicole - Ambition Magazine: Why did you start? Asha Tarry: I started my company as a way of trying to fill the void of the numbers of mental health professionals who provide treatment but don’t own their own businesses in this field. People were reaching out to me from all over the country on social media and in person, people were sharing very intimate stories in public or social settings about very difficult challenges they had been going through. As a result, I thought I need to create my own business to address the multiple crises our country had been having and the people I saw and didn’t see that were in need. I also wanted to be self employed and have the liberty to be more creative than I was able to be working for other people. I also wanted to be a trailblazer in this industry; to show other young entrepreneurs how to become an inspiration to people and leave a legacy. AM: Why mental health? AT: Why mental health? I went to school initially for Nursing but 2 years into the program I changed majors and went into Human Services. I completed my 4 year degree, and then I went on to successfully complete graduate school in Social Services. Later I went on for post graduate training in psychoanalytic psychotherapy and life coaching. I was inspired to continue learning and I wanted to provide people in

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under served communities quality mental health care. I’ve always wanted to be in the helping industry. I also had my own experience with trauma and I saw on a human level, how people related to me. AM: What do you see as your successes? AT: My successes include growing my business twice as rapidly in 6 months than it had grown in our entire 1st year, all based on my business strategy. My successes include the numbers of young professionals (mainly those of color) who seek out my services and for whom I provide treatment--counseling and life coaching (*spiritual life coaching as a specialty). In the past year, I’ve also been featured on local television, national radio a few times and been touted as 1 of the mental health experts for publications like TheGriot.com, SingleandLivingFab. com and blackdoctor.org, to name a few. Now, in addition to providing treatment and public speaking, I also write about mental health. AM: What are you struggles? This is twofold. Do you have industry specific struggles and then are there some that you feel apply to any entrepreneur? AT: Some of my struggles include having reliable, dedicated people working with me. I had an Assistant once who thought that because I’m a compassionate person who provides mental health services, I didn’t also take pride in my business and there-

fore put my work in some compromising positions. Needless to say we didn’t work together very long. Also, there are times, not too often though, where I feel people don’t see the company for what it is. They see it for what they want it to be. They don’t understand the vision and that there’s a process to it. For example, occasionally people will contact me as say, “you should do this with BHCS” or “I’ll be glad to see your vision when it unfolds.” It’s like saying, “hey! we’re unfolding right before your eyes.Just pay attention!” I think are proud of my company and what I do but they also want it to represent what they would hope to do if they owned a company. I’m being creative in the ways that make me feel good and I am also providing valuable services to the public. I know and my clients know very well what those are. That is why I diversify my work between counseling,coaching, public speaking and writing. I am a multifaceted mental health brand. Other than that, I’ve been fortunate to garner respect from a lot of people and places I go and I know that what I’m doing is aligned with my purpose and it’s going to grow. People show me all the time that they need what it is I provide and I’m so thankful and grateful I can do it this way. AM: What goals do you have for yourself and your business in 2015? AT: Some of my personal goals are to sustain a comprehensive healthy lifestyle; so that means resting more,

continuing to eat well, exercise, do things that make me feel good, continue to walk in my purpose and stay spiritually attuned. My company’s goals for this year include getting my brand on a national television program as the face of quality mental health for young America. Additionally, BHCS will be presenting a few seminars and workshops on mental & spiritual wellness. I’m doing a few public forums and working on a partnership with a woman who does energy healing. There’s a lot in store this year for Behavioral Health Consulting Services. AM: What makes you ambitious? AT: What makes me ambitious? That’s a great question. Basically, I believe in succeeding at my goals. I believe that people deserve quality, knowledgeable information and help and I feel equipped to provide that. I always want to improve on what I know and what I have to offer. I humbly believe that the Most High has assigned me to heal people and I accept that assignment, honorably.

to you for the answers. Set yourself apart from anyone else doing something similar and always have integrity in your work. If you say you will do something, then do it. If those plans change that’s ok, be honest about it and keep moving forward. Don’t go back trying to fix something that’s already past. Remember too, that social media has a memory even if you’ve lost yours. So, what you put out there may come back to you later. Therefore, put out something good. To gain more knowledge on the topic of mental health and learn more about Asha Tarry and the Behavioral Health Consulting Services LMSW, PLLC, check out the website: www. BHConsultingServices.net.

AM: What advice do you have for our readers that are on their own ambitious journey? AT: My advice for your readers on their ambitious journey is this: stay hungry! Remember why you do what you set out to do. Feel good about yourself. See purpose in what you’re doing. If you can’t, then work on yourself first because the moment you set out to establish and solidify your brand, people will be looking

www.ambitionmag.com |

BRUSSELS SPROUT SALAD

SALAD

2 cups of shredded Brussels sprouts ¼ c of cran-raisins ½ of an avocado (diced) 9-15 cherry tomatoes (cut in quarters)

DRESSING ½ c of olive oil

1/2c of lemon juice 1 tablespoon of vinegar 1 ½ teaspoon of mrs dash table blend ¼ teaspoon of salt ¼ c of honey

MIX THE SPOUTS, CRAN-RAISINS, AVOCADO AND TOMATOES IN A LARGE BOWL. 15 | www.ambitionmag.com

IN A SEPARATE CUP WITH LID OR MIXING BOWL, PLACE THE OLIVE OIL, LEMON JUICE, VINEGAR, HONEY AND SEASONINGS.

MIX OR SHAKE UNTIL INCORPORATED.

RECIPE

POUR HALF OF THE DRESSING ON THE SALAD MIXTURE. STIR. (YOU MAY NOT USE OF THE DRESSING)

By Juan Blanks

NOW ENJOY!!! THE LEMON JUICE IN THE DRESSING WILL KEEP YOUR AVOCADO FROM TURNING BROWN. www.ambitionmag.com |

PEACH POUND CAKE

PLACE ALL INGREDIENTS IN A LARGE MIXING BOWL

PREHEAT OVEN TO 350째 17 | www.ambitionmag.com

1 box of white cake mix 4 eggs 1/3 c of canola oil 1 cup of peach nectar 1 box (3.0oz) pf peach jello 4-6 drops of peach flavoring

BEAT BY HAND OR WITH MIXER UNTIL INCORPORATED

RECIPE

PLACE IN POUR BATTER INTO A GREASED PREHEATED OVEN FOR 45-50 BUNDT PAN MINS.

TIP: WANT TO MAKE AN EASY GLAZE?? PLACE ONE CUP OF POWDERED SUGAR IN A BOWL A DRIZZLE A TABLESPOON OF THE LEFTOVER NECTAR. MIX UNTIL POURABLE CONSISTENCY (YOU MAY HAVE TO ADD MORE NECTAR). POUR OVER CAKE WHEN SLIGHTLY COOLED.

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THIS CAN BE USED ON CHICKEN OR TURKEY

EASY MARINADE

TIP: IF GRILLING ALWAYS SET MEAT OUT ABOUT AN HOUR BEFORE GRILLING.

2 cups of apple juice

¼ cup of brown sugar 2 tablespoons of Applewood grilling seasoning

MIX ALL INGREDIENTS IN A MEASURING CUP.

GRILL OR POUR OVER LET SIT A POUND FOR 12 TO BOIL MEAT OF MEAT OF 24 HOURS. UNTIL DONE CHOICE

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M A G A Z I N E S UBSC R IBE Yearly Digital Subscription - $15 Yearly Print Subscription - $36 http://ambitionmag.com/shop SNAP THE CODE TO SUBSCRIBE TO AMBITION!

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A Talk With A Gentleman

ENITAN BEREOLA

23 | www.ambitionmag.com

For those who have not read Bereolaesque or Gentlewoman, let’s just begin with you are really missing out on a great reading! I had the pleasure of speaking with Enitan Bereola about his best-selling book Gentlewoman and gain some insight about him and why he wrote this book in the manner. In November 2014, Enitan released his book GENTLEWOMAN: Etiquette for a Lady, From a Gentleman in the digital format after having great success earlier in the year with the hard copy. Before this interview I had never met Mr. Bereola, yet from the beginning of the book I felt as though I was sitting across the table or on the phone with my brother or that male best friend. I categorize the tone in that way because the conversation is with someone you know, someone who knows you and that you can speak to candidly about what’s going on with you. Gentlewoman, allows you to self-reflect on some things that you may not even realize you have become too relaxed in. Here is a peek into my interview with Enitan. LeKeisha Nicole, Ambition Magazine: What made you write this book in this way, in this manner? Enitan Bereola: You know I wanted something, some sort of medium that was able to like really, really connect and penetrate beyond the surface and really speak to, you. You know…a glass of wine, draw a bath or light a candle and be by yourself and read this book so it can really speak to you, so there’s no distractions. It was necessary because it’s necessary; because this conversation has attempted to be had on several platforms, it’s not always thorough enough. You know, sometimes it’s on a panel and they’re getting their points made, you know, it’s almost like, when you need your back scratched and you’re like right around that itch but you don’t quite get it and it’s still itching when you’re done. After all that fiasco of trying to reach for it; it’s like ‘ah it felt good but I didn’t quite get it, exactly.’ I

I want you to celebrate what there is to celebrate and I want to inspire you to change, what it is you want to change. wanted to try my best to honestly really open up that conversation and that dialogue and, you know, whether you agree with everything or not, I really want that conversation to be had, or thought about and considered. It’s very difficult to get somebody to change, it’s hard to inspire someone to even want to change. That was my whole idea behind the book. I call it a mirror, and you know how you were saying, some things you were like, ‘you’re talking to me’ I want it to reflect whoever you are, where ever you are. So, whatever you take from it, it’s like a reflection of who you are and where you want to go and I want you to celebrate what there is to celebrate and I want to inspire you to change, what it is you want to change. I don’t think that everyone that reads it is going to take it for face value at one hundred percent and follow it like it’s religion, but I do want you to consider it. I always call it a suggestion, the book is just a suggestion. A necessary suggestion! The book is a reminder that society still has rules amidst you celebrating your independence and gaining comfort; you, doing things your own way, you still have a neighbor to consider. Some women may not have themselves together, so the book is to get them together. Some women may have themselves together but they’re so caught up in themselves that they forgot they exist in this world with other people and they matter just as much as you do. Because we’re kind of in that direction now, where it’s all about me; ‘I don’t care what such-and-such thinks. Only God can judge me and I’m going to do exactly what I want.’ I want you to do exactly what you want but please do consider your neighbor, they do matter. So, that’s the overall theme of the book, the understanding that you matter and so does your neighbor; which is the basic principle of life, you know treating others like you want to be treated - in every doctrine, from Christianity to Hinduism to Islam.

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LeKeisha Nicole: Right, now I definitely agree that this conversation has been attempted, it’s probably going to continue to be attempted; even past this point, on numerous different levels. What took place for you to say, I am going to make this attempt at this topic, in this particular platform? What made you say, I’m going to write this book and I’m going to take a stab at this conversation? Did something happen or was it a person that inspired it; anything like that? Enitan: Yes, absolutely, all of that. There are people that inspired it. Somebody like a pastor telling me, like prophesying over me, actually before the first book on men was even written, and I was going to have an audience of millions and speak to women and all this stuff I thought was crazy; like what is this guy talking about? You know you’re supposed to close your eyes when people are praying over you and I’m looking at this dude, like, man what are you talking about? So it’s definitely something that I’d say I never wanted to do. I never wanted to address women because it’s such a difficult and sensitive subject matter and I don’t want to come across as one of those guys that is kind of in this thing for his own personal gain or who doesn’t really care. I mean you can see through a lot of people who do things that aren’t authentic. You can see it and because of who I am and my brand; I like sexy-ish, I like wine. I like vacations. I like things that are beautiful. I don’t want you to confuse my personal life and a portion of my brand with something so serious and I don’t want you to think that I’m attempting to get over. I can see how it might be perceived, which is why I started off kind of letting you know why I wrote it and why it’s okay for a man to have written it. And it was, something like, ok, I wrote this book for men (Bereolaesque); all these women are being so supportive of me and this book isn’t even necessarily for them. What can I create that’s for women? Everything was lined up. It was like the right next thing to do but I delayed it for so long because I knew how difficult it would be and I didn’t know how it would be received, and I just didn’t want to be in that number. So, I wrote it reluctantly. When I finally committed to it, I just dove all the way in. So, like, you all inspire me. Every time I would go and speak the crowds would just start to be more and

25 | www.ambitionmag.com

more women. And I was talking to the men with the men book and you know initially they started off supporting me. It was like 70% men & 30% women. Then it became like 60% women, 40% men, then like 75 & 25. An overwhelming amount of women just started to support and I had to create something for them; and it had to be genuine, it had to be real. My book for men was kind of rooted in being accepted, being cool, being sexy, being authentic. Women don’t care anything about being cool, so that couldn’t really be the theme of the book so I had to dig deeper. It took a lot out of me, it took: a lot more research, a lot more commitment and physically, it drained me. I had to work out. A part of the process, this is interesting, I had to work out for like two years even before I started writing. Because I knew, although as crazy as it sounds, I knew the book would be such a physical commitment. You know that it would be taking and draining me mentally. I was pouring so much into it and that’s what I really did, I left it all on there. I poured as much as I could on that thing and it drained me. It literally drained me. I had to change my diet up to write it. The process was interesting, like I was trying to film a movie or something. I took it that seriously; because it is serious and it’s affecting lives. I mean it’s literally, the stories I hear. I’m kind of humble. Sometimes, it’s hard for me to market the stories that I hear, you don’t see a lot of things - you might see it on Instagram, some people showing up, sold out seats to hear me speak but you don’t hear what these people are saying to me. I don’t share that; females, those personal stories. It’s amazing what this thing is doing. It’s way beyond me at this point, which is beautiful because it’s exactly how I wrote it and why I wrote it. Ambition: One of the things that you just said that was really interesting was, that element of what you do when you want to change something. For instance, right now, everyone’s into fitness and being fit and everything and it’s a lifestyle change; to truly become fit and stay fit. I don’t want to use the word, fit; healthy, to become healthy and stay healthy. And in many ways the same is true in the way you wrote, Gentlewoman, so I think that it’s even more interesting that you’re saying that part of your process in writing it was a lifestyle change, as well in your preparation. That was

just an interesting take away, I wasn’t really expecting to receive. I want to talk a little bit about your speaking engagements, because I’ve been following you only on Instagram and sharing the quotes and everything, so I see you traveling and you know I see random people that I know, sharing some of these same things. Sometimes, I’m like, wait a minute, how did I miss that quote?! Then you’re talking about how you’re receiving or gaining this information as you speak to people. What do you feel, is added to your experience by really being able to sit down and talk with people and the engagements that you’re doing? What do you feel that it’s adding to you? Enitan: For me, it put’s humanity to it, humanity’s face to it because; you have to understand my process. Like, this brother, when I spoke, in Columbia, South Carolina, was sharing with me that my first book was inspirational for him to get on his feet. You know, to kind of get his life together. He’s a convicted felon, he did two years in prison and then was facing twenty and now he’s the SGA president at Benedict College; they gave him a shot when he got out of prison. And, generally, convicted felons, they do not have the ability to go into the workforce; you know like people without felonies do. This guy somehow parlayed his way into being an intern for the attorney general and he had a 4.0 cumulative GPA. So, this brother who told me he used to stick pistols in people’s mouths and rob them and a bunch of other activity. Just for him to look me in my face and tell me that I have no idea how much I inspired him, I don’t hear the conversations people have when I’m not around, I don’t know what I did to change his life but him thanking me, I’m like, ‘dude, I sat behind a computer and wrote this book with people like you in mind and for you to tell me that it actually touched you in that way, you don’t know how I feel.’ So, I’m just as excited to meet people as they are to meet me. I’m inspired when I see them. A lot of this is done behind technology, so whether it’s Instagram or actually writing a book, the hours that you dedicate to it and then you put it out there, you don’t know how it’s going to be received. It may be well received and you may see it go to number 1, you may see it go to the best-seller’s thing, you may start getting awards but when you actually go and see people and see tears… Like there’s people crying to meet me

like I’m Stevie Wonder or Michael Jackson. Like, what?! And knowing that it’s not me, but that it’s God that spoke through me and spoke to them when they read, and knowing that people are getting ink on their body with my quotes or like my book cover tattoos and just seeing how much it actually affects people beyond the surface is amazing. And it just encourages me, it tells me that I’m on the right path of my purpose and I’m doing the right thing and to keep going. So any discouragement I get goes right over my shoulder. You know, it means nothing because what I’m doing is beyond them, beyond me and it’s part of my purpose. So, that’s what seeing people, does for me. What it does for people, I think, is an interesting thing, because often, I’ll hear in person or once I leave, see it tweeted or instagramed or facebooked; ‘Wow, he’s a lot more humble than I would assume’ or ‘he was so cool’, ‘he was so down to earth’ and that allows me to think – ‘what did you think of me before?’ You know I’m this guy, I have this brand, you may see me on some jet or maybe here or there or doing this or that and I might seem like I’m, I don’t know, or I might appear a certain way. I’m the same cat all the way around, I’ve always been. People that know me, know that but it’s interesting when people meet me that they put two and two together, and say okay this is actually authentic. Another thing that happened at Benedict is that this young lady had drove forty-five minutes out, to see me and she was just saying, ‘it’s really cool to see that you are actually in line with your brand’ and I said, ‘what do you mean’ and she said, ‘some of these rappers/ entertainers you meet, you’re like damn, they’re either super arrogant or super corny or nothing like I assumed he was because of what he promotes.’ And that’s another thing, I let people know, I’m very particular, like I let people know, I drink wine, I might cuss in a few tweets, I show my imperfections so that people aren’t surprised. But for whatever reason, people are still surprised. And it’s all genuine, I know, I read one of my reviews on Amazon the other day and this lady was saying, ‘the book was amazing but this review is about the author; I was in DC and I observed the author in line at one of his book signings, I observed the way he spent time with these guests. He greeted some guests with a hug, a handshake, offered them wine…’ mind you, I don’t even realize people watch like that, she

I show my imperfections so that people aren’t surprised. said, ‘ I’m a people watcher and it was amazing to see, I watched him have a discussion with somebody for five minutes and cracked up, to write in the book specifically tailored for them’ and she said, ‘when he got to me, it was the same thing and I checked in other people’s books to see if he wrote the same thing and come to find out, everything was different.’ So, it was interesting to know that she was paying that much attention but it was also a testament to the fact that that’s who I am. You know, I do that everywhere, I always take long. We get kicked out of buildings. I sign books in the rain and we end up shutting the place down. You know, I go outside and they’re like, ‘alright Mr. Bereola we’re ready to take you home’ and I’m like, ‘nah, there’s still people out here with books to be signed.’ I kick it with them, we’ve gone bowling. So, you know, I’m the same guy, all the way around. I think, sometimes, people are surprised to see that I’m just like them. Ambition: You know, I think that, so often, we’re disappointed by people who we think are going to be cool. Like you look at a rapper and think that they are the best person to hang out with, like we’re going to have a drink. And then you get across from them and you’re like, ‘you know what, never mind, I’m just going to go to McDonalds and go home’; like I’m cool on hanging out with that person. So, I think that when you can get that and you see a person and you’re like this person is cool, I gotta find out if I can get invited to his house for dinner next week; the next time I’m in town. You know, I think that that’s just an extreme compliment to who you are. What made you decide to do the re-release for the digital? What kind of inspired you to do like a truly publicized digital release?

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Enitan: I’m all about jumping out the window. People always take the easy route, people take the traditional route, people do what you’re supposed to do, what people say to do, and what you’re supposed to do when you release a product, is, like for instance, if you release a CD, and I don’t even know if they still have physical CD’s anymore, but, when you do that, you release your album out of iTunes, as well. It just makes sense, you know? It’s the physical version and the digital version, for the mass to consume and want, but who’s to say that you can’t do that formulated differently if you have a strategy behind it? So, it’s like broken down in a few parts. The first thing is, everything I do benefits the consumer and it benefits me. That’s a strategy that I just somehow figured out. So, I mean, when somebody thinks that they’re getting something, it’s a little secret and I think that it’s a smart business. Whether people think they’re getting a giveaway or what, there’s always something to benefit me in the end, as well. And I don’t always place it out there like that but that’s the way karma works. That’s the way sowing seeds works and reaping harvest. It’s just like that when it’s good intentions behind it. It’s inevitable; you get back what you put out there. So, anyway, with this, first of all, everybody is digital. You know, we’re having conversations digitally, you know nothing is face-to-face. So, another past time that’s been beautiful and classic that no one ever does anymore is read physical books. I won’t say nobody, but you’ll see there aren’t physical books, they’re either in their nooks or their kindles or their iPhone or their Android and they’re reading their material. People are reading newspapers and magazines and books all on these devices now-a-days. And there’s something that’s traditional and something just beautiful about just, like, touching pages and you know when you spend time with a book, it’s more memorable; a physical book. I remember the books I read when I was younger, because I got to touch them and feel them, even the binding, I was looking at a school book the other day and I was looking at the binding, I forgot the name of them, but I was looking at like the Bernstein Bear type of books with the gold and black binding on the back. Just seeing that binding, like I texted my mom, like I hadn’t seen that stuff since like ’83, ’84, it brought me back to my bedroom, bunk bed and smell,

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all of that. It’s just the same way music does when you hear a song; it automatically takes you back to whatever moment. It was so real, like it just brought me right there, like damn I was stuck in this moment just because of that one little experience. As simple as it is, it’s stuff like that, it’s beautiful and important. That’s life. That’s living. That wouldn’t have happened with something digital. So, the content of this book, I didn’t want to cheat it by just putting it out digitally, it’s like this thing has to be packaged right, you have to touch it, you know, the cover needs to feel a certain way, can’t cheat them this experience. I wanted you to be on the bus with it, on the train and that’s what people did. And not only is that beautiful for the consumer and their experience, but also – I mean, think about it, you know, when you’re on your iPad, nobody knows what you’re reading. When you’re on your phone, they can’t see the cover; when you’re out in public, that’s marketing! You know, you’re on the train and that would happen, people would tell me, ‘someone took a picture of my book while I was on the train, today. People were asking me what I was reading because the cover was intriguing to them.’ So, people are seeing this cover everywhere. A lot of people were buying it up when it first released, so that’s just a cool experience for people to be excited about a book, like that; cohesively. People used to get excited about music and movies, like that, but a book?! From a black dude, a young black guy?! Yeah, edifying, I thought that was beautiful. It was gorgeous. It was amazing; it was like, sunsets and wine. It was perfect. So, it’s that element to it and then, sorry that I’m so long-winded, but I’m just trying to break it down for you. The first book, digital books weren’t available so I had to release that book, two years after the hardcover and paperback came out. And I had to do it just because I had to do it, because I had to stay competitive. And people were asking about it, I didn’t do it because I thought it would do well, I was just like, ok, let me put it out digitally since that’s what people are doing, now. Since, digital books are now available. So, I did that and the book became a best seller on all platforms: iTunes, iBooks, Amazon; all of that, and I was like how the hell did this book become a best-seller list when it’s been out for two years? You know, you would think that the people who already have

it would have it, who would want it, would get it. But you don’t consider a lower price point, you don’t consider the fact that there’s no shipping, you don’t consider the immediate availability of it. You know, you download it, you wait for thirty seconds, and there it is. It’s so much more easily accessible and the statistics behind it is a whole other thing. That year, a certain genre of digital books did better than physical/traditional hardcover/paperback books. So, I said, huh, that was an interesting formula that happened on accident, I wonder what would happen if I tried it again. I wonder if I delayed the release of the digital, because of my reasoning, the same reasoning, how it would do. And, lo and behold, again, #1, I was like the only independent author on that list. I was looking at the list and people I was in front of, and it shot to #1 and became a best-seller, digitally. And it was, again, doing something with the old traditional mindset because it has to be done a certain way, it has to be done this way – it’s the way that it’s done, well I don’t want to do it that way. I have another idea. And I tried it and it’s the story of my life. Nothing I do, for the most part, is – it’s funny because I’m an etiquette guy so I’m rooted in a lot of traditions but I’m so far off of base from that, as well. I’m like a walking, talking dichotomy. But it worked! It worked and it continues to work and it breathes life into the book and creates more excitement around something that had already been around for almost a year. It now gives it legs for another 6-9 months. I toured off the first book for like three years and I toured off this one from January (like day one) until, today. Like, it’s going all the way through December. On tour for a year, straight, and I’m just an author. I’m not a musician. A musician, doesn’t even generally tour for a year, straight. So, it just speaks to, you know, coming up with your own crazy thought process and I did, ‘jumping out the window’ and trying it out and not going down a route just because you’re supposed to go that route; says who and why? This is one window that I am glad Enitan decided to jump out of. GENTLEWOMAN reminds us that someone is always watching.

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DANGEROUS MINDS T

he mind of a creative soul is a whirlwind of fantasy and reality; a dangerous place where many don’t possess the valor of imagination to delve into. It’s something that you can’t teach, either you have it or you don’t. It’s like Maybelline, we’re born with it. Many times we can’t explain our thought processes, it just happens for us and we go with it. We are always on an incessant quest to create and redefine what normal is, according to the standards of the world. We all have our preferred method(s) of art as an expression; an n expression of how we feel, who we are at the moment and who we want to be. Artistic people are the ones with a sixth sense. We envision things and bring them to life through the way(s) that we so choose to express them. We find solace in some of the most eccentric things. Artists indulge in the depths of unconventionality, places where other people are afraid to go or don’t have the capacity to see the beauty in. Words and fashion are MY vices. Sometimes, I get overwhelmed by them but there’s NEVER an instance where I can or will be able to live without them. They give me life and allow me the opportunity to breathe life into everything around me. When a creative mind links up (OR ‘when creative minds link up’), some of the best art is bestowed upon the world. There’s nothing like it and it can’t be duplicated. Think of Dolce & Gabbana, those fiery Italians are nothing short of a creative fashion force to be reckoned with! When I met hairstylist/make-up artist Brian C. Hawkins this past Fall, the same magic was created and history was made. Here is a bird’s-eye view into the dangerous mind of an artist... FW: Describe your creative process. Brian: The creative process is collaboration between

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the designer and myself. The designer will send, to me, images of inspiration that he/she wants for hair and/or makeup for his/her Runway Collection and an idea of what they want. Once we meet in person, we do what’s called a “Hair Test” and/or “Makeup Test”- taking the image(s) of inspiration of what he/she sent and applying it on the model. From there, it is tweaking the look for more or less depending on how the designer feels. Also, that’s when we decide if it’s a detailed look for hair and/or makeup and how we make it time feasible, based on the preparation time backstage, with the number of modelstypically you have 3 hours which sounds like a lot of time - but it flies. FW: Out of all of the artistic careers, why hair/makeup? Brian: It’s an industry that I’ve always been drawn to, even as a child. It’s an Industry that you can be SO creative, in SO many ways. It’s an Industry that is always needed and will never go. I truly love what I do! FW: Describe the most collaborative creative team that you’ve worked on. Brian: The most collaborative team, to date, has been working with a hair stylist, based out of the UK, Mr. Matthew Curtis - he is simply a GENIUS! The Falguni & Peacock Shows are usually always the highest in creativity and it’s just amazing! FW: Walk me through one of your favorite shows/projects. Brian: That’s a long walk!-lol! I think my favorite, to date, is doing hair and/or makeup because every designer/ show is different, so you really have to be flexible and creative as an artist to produce results on so many varied levels of looks. It truly tests your abilities on what you need improvement on and what you excel at. FW: Who is/are your hair design heroe(s)? And why? Brian: My hair heroes, in no particular order are: Ted Gibson, Theodore Leaf, David Cruz, Iyanna Winfield, Linh Nguyen, Joseph DiMaggio. Guido Palau, Odile Gilbert, Oscar James, Ursula Stephens, Kim Kimble, Mann-Mann Nance, Marcia Hamilton, Tippi Shorter and Kiyah Wright. They are all dynamic and influential in the Industry and I’ve had the pleasure and humble honor to meet and work with the majority, listed here. FW: How do you stay on top of current hair & makeup trends and techniques? Brian: Look at my Editorial/Magazine Collection and there’s your answer! lol! You HAVE to stay current on trends and techniques and between Editorial Fashion Magazines; which honestly, I don’t deal with too many American Magazines - who’s trending or ahead of trends?-Pick up Vogue Italia, it will give you LIFE! Aside

from Editorials, just surfing the internet. Also, red carpet for any awards Shows are ALWAYS inspiring: Grammys, Oscars, Emmys etc. FW: Which skills/applications do you use daily vs. just occasionally? Brian: I don’t really get to go “outside the box” with extreme hair styling or makeup, unless it’s Fashion Week or an Editorial Shoot. Otherwise, with my salon clients or corporate client accounts that I work with, the looks for hair and makeup tend to be more clean and natural looks. FW: What inspires you? Brian: Music and fashion. Which ironically go hand in hand with hair and makeup. FW: Knowing what you know now, for as long as you’ve been in the business, what would you tell your younger self about being successful? Brian: Never give up, work ahead of yourself and maintain those connections that are truly valuable in all aspects of life- personal and professional. FW: What advice would you give to an aspiring celebrity hair/makeup artist? Brian: See the previous answer - but also, network, network, network and ALWAYS work on your craft. Regardless of tenure and accomplishments, you never succeed by sitting back and being idle. FW: Feel free to tell me ANYTHING else you want me to know about you as a person and about your business. Brian: Personal - Purple is my favorite color; fried pork chops (the way my mom makes them of course- lol!) are my favorite food; I am a music FANATIC! I have over 100 albums, that yes I play with a turntable still, 8 books that carry cd’s and I love all genres of music. I LOVE old episodes of “Twilight Zone” and “Alfred Hitchcock Presents” (I will watch a marathon); “Imitation of life” (both versions) “Lady Sings The Blues” and “Big Business” are my favorite films. Brian: Business - I’ve worked hard to be where I am and am humble and thankful for EVERY opportunity I have to build my brand as a hair stylist and makeup artist and I’m not through, any time soon.

Read more about Brian C. Hawkins at http://www.brianchawkins.com/ Until next time - Stay Fashionable and Creative, The Fashion Wordsmith www.thefashionwordsmith.wordpress.com www.ambitionmag.com |

INTERVIEW

WITH STEVEN CARTER

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Steven Carter, author of Resurrection from Rejection: Healing from 7Areas of Rejection in Your Life has a created a resource for getting over rejection. When going into the book I believed that the book was just about Carter’s life and everything was more so based around his story. I was wrong! Carter uses his life to help you relate to times in your life when you felt rejection and reflect on how you handled it in comparison to how you should have handled it. Here’s a little of what we talked about… Ambition: So, let’s just start off, where are you, today and what’s going on with you right now? What’s new for you? Carter: Let me tell you a little bit about myself, again. My name is Steven Carter, I’m glad to be on this call. And I don’t know if you know but I’m currently the senior pastor of the Mount Ararat Church in Brooklyn, New York. So, that’s actually the church that I was born and raised in. I’m the senior pastor, there; happily married to my wife, Danielle, of two and a half years and recently published a book. I am traveling across the country promoting Resurrection from Rejection. It’s been such an overwhelming response of love and appreciation for the message in the book. I’ve already moved over 3,000 units in past 4 months and have shared my story of adoption at the White House for Office of Family Assistance (OFA) Healthy Marriage, Responsible Fatherhood and Tribal Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) - Child Welfare Grantees Annual Meeting. It’s been a powerful and favored journey thus far. Ambition: Ok, so tell me a little bit about what brought you to the point, where you wanted to write this book; in the way that you wrote it and kind of give people a look inside your story. Carter: As a means to process some pain I was experiencing in my life, I was advised by my mentor to find a way to work through my issues. I opted to write about rejection, my rejection but also the rejections that many of us will face in our lifetime. What led me to write, I was born as a sick child, given up for adoption by my biological parents; adopted by my two wonderful parents, now I did not know I was adopted. My biological parents, allegedly gave me up, because I was sick and was supposed to die and my adopted parents decided to adopt a child who was sick and gave me a home. I share in the book how at the age of thirteen I discovered that I was not, like every other child, I was adopted and as a

consequence I didn’t know how to handle the news. As a consequence, I pulled away from family. I spent years of my life believing that, at some point, everyone is going to reject me or that someone is going to drop me; because if my birth parents gave me up, then anybody would. I didn’t trust people. I didn’t believe in people. I didn’t open myself up to love, until a couple of years ago. I was supposed to meet my biological parents, for the first time and they didn’t show up and I felt hurt again. And one of my mentors said to me, ‘unless you process your pain, your pain is going to lead to some destructive habits’; which it had already done, in my life. I touched on areas that affected me. When you feel rejected, you tend to be bothered in areas of self-esteem, your faith, God, friendships, relationships, family and your job. Any time you have rejection, it affects all of those areas, in one way or another and that’s what I talk about in the book; how to get out of rejection so that it will not impact those areas of your life in a negative way. Ambition: Now, let me ask you this, in regards to your personal journey. When you say that you took this journey to overcoming the rejection and resurrecting from it, did you then write the book or was the writing of the book a part of your journey. Did you learn some things, even more than you thought through you/your writing? Carter: Oh yes, of course. Writing the book, actually, was very therapeutic. The writing process allowed me to really go back and touch some things that were painful in my life. One thing about the book is I’m very transparent. So, I’m very open about my life. I’m very honest of things that I deal with. I always promise people that if you read that book, you’re going to find yourself on more than one page; and I don’t care if you’re the President of the United States or if you’ve never had a job in your life, I don’t care if you’re rich or if you’re poor, you’re a PhD or a high school dropout, there is something for everyone. Rejection is part of the human experience. I’m honest about struggles that I’ve dealt with in my life because I really want to help others. It’s still a healing process. TPromoting the book continues to the healing for me, causes healing, particularly when people ask questions, that I never even thought about it. The transformation process is perpetual -. Any time you decide to really address your issues and move forward in your life, you go through a perpetual experience of growth, so, yes, yes, writing the book is kind of a journey, yes.

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Ambition: Were there things inside of the book that were kind of new to your family when they began to read it, that brought up even more questions? Or were you kind of open to them before you actually put the book out? Or did they learn things that you hadn’t discussed with them?

Carter: Yes, I was open with my family. I was going to real, because – you have to remember, I shut my family out. When my father and mother read the book, they shared with me, that it brought tears to their eyes because they didn’t know that I was dealing with all that. My father said he realized once he told me I’m adopted, that things changed. He said, you know, ‘I realized you were pulling away and you started acting differently.’ I was getting in trouble, I was looking for validation. I joined a gang, I was looking for validation. I was looking for a sense of belonging. I felt rejected. I was looking for a family that wouldn’t lie to me. My father said when I went off to college; I went a whole month without calling him. I didn’t realize that until he shared it with me, but I was looking for a family. I was looking for connection..

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Ambition: Going back to your parents and saying that there were things that you didn’t know, you didn’t recognize, and then having that conversation once they read the book – do you feel as though that has been even more beneficial for your relationship, moving forward, now that you’ve been able to openly voice yourself and their reading it and accepting it? Carter: Yes, very much so. One, it allowed me to hear my parents out. I had a chance to talk with them. My father said, ‘we didn’t withhold the truth from you because we were trying to hurt you, we withheld the truth from you because we didn’t know how to tell you.’ This is the first time they adopted a child, this was their first child; this was everything. So, they didn’t know how to go about it. They shared with me that they thought several times, ‘ok. Maybe we should tell Steven, now’, but they just didn’t know how. And his words to me, I’ll never forget – he said, ‘Son, I’m sorry you were hurt. I wish I could’ve changed it but until you’re in that position, it’ll be hard for you to understand what it means to tell a child that he’s your child – that he’s not your child, that’s the hardest thing, ever. And anyone who says they can do it with ease, they’re not telling the truth.’ I was able to accept that. And then, once they told me I was adopted, they gave me additional papers, If I ever wanted to search for my parents but my mother... My mother still struggles with it. She wishes that I never knew that I was adopted. She told me , ‘I wish you never knew. I wish you never found out.’ Still, till this day, she gets upset to talk about it because I guess in a mother’s love, she doesn’t want me to feel as if I’m not her child. So, she, even now, till this day, she doesn’t like talking about it, Ambition: One thing that I enjoyed about the book is the fact that you used/use your life almost as a barometer; so that as you’re explaining these different levels of rejection, you give people a place to recognize and say – ‘oh ok, I have been through that. I have been there,’ without overly pushing and forcing something down on people and say, ‘you know you’ve done this and it’s because of’-you just give somebody a point of reference and they can say ‘oh, I can see that in myself’. In creating those moments, and in your writing, how does shaping the way the book was written, how did you come across that way to present your story? How did you develop this way to present your story, but as well, to present a way to help other people?

Carter: One of the ways, my wife shared with me, she was like, ‘If you’re going to help people, you’re going to have to be fully honest and tell your story.’ You know you have to be honest because when you’re honest… when any person, a writer, a speaker, an interviewee or whatever… when you’re honest with who you are, then the person can see themselves and help you. It helps them because they can relate. It’s kind of like when you go to the doctor with a sickness and the doctor asks you, tell me what’s bothering you, and it’s only when you tell the doctor what’s bothering you, that he or she can work on that issue. But if you’re having an ear ache and you go into the doctor’s office and say (when asked), ‘hey, what’s bothering you?’, ‘my foot is hurting.’ They’re going to spend their time on your foot and your ear is still going to be hurting. And the reason why your ear is hurting is because you didn’t tell them the truth. They’re working on the area that you addressed and you’re still in pain because, for whatever reason, you didn’t want to say, this is where my pain is. I didn’t want to waste time writing a story just to sound good, I wanted to write a story that would positively impact the healing of others. Let’s close with some parting words of wisdom from Steven, “Whatever issues, you have been hurting, be it a relationship that didn’t work out/a marriage that didn’t work out, a loss of job, low faith, low self-esteem; whatever it is, you have to accept that that’s a result of years and years of hurt, pain or whatever that has built up on your life. So, once you make the decision to move or progress, you have to accept that you’re going to have some good days and you’re going to have some bad days. And when you have a bad day, you can’t just revert back to, ‘hey, it’s never going to get better’, No! It is going to get better, you just had a bad day and you have to get back on your path. So, the whole purpose to say that is to say, that resurrection from rejection, is a decision that you’ve got to make and commit to and continue to work through the pain/the struggle/the discipline/the challenge/the ups/the downs and know that, ‘I’m going to get better, I’m going to get over this relationship, I’m going to get over this feeling of a neglect, I’m going to get over this divorce, I’m going to get over this termination, I’m going to get over this friendship that was betrayed…but I’m not going to get over any of that until I accept myself, good and bad, and realize that I’m a work in progress; not just one day but every day.”

Any person, even if they were not adopted, will face rejections in life. You must learn to move feelings toward positive things and that is when you can live a life of happiness, fulfillment and continued success. To connect further with Steven Carter Twitter https://twitter.com/StevenCarterNY Facebook https://www.facebook.com/stevencarterny Instagram http://instagram.com/stevencarterny Blog http://stevencarterny.com/ Hashtag #norejection

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Networking Opportunities

Creating

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As you’re growing your business, it is imperative that you are always on the lookout for networking opportunities that would be beneficial to your brand. When you hear the term “networking event,” you probably think of career fairs, seminars, or business conferences. However, there are times where events aren’t available. Why not create your own? It’s easier than you think. Any place where you find other humans can turn into a place to build your network. It can be salons, airports, grocery stores and even your favorite restaurant can be ideal places to build your network. If you have the savvy to strike up conversations with strangers any place can be a networking opportunity. Introduce yourself with a goal in mind. When you first introduce yourself to someone, it’s important to know exactly what you speak about as you strike up conversation. You don’t want to waste or bore the person you’re addressing. Take advantage of unconventional places. Any place where you would normally meet people and start conversations has the potential to become a networking opportunity. Starbucks is common meeting ground for young professionals and bloggers. Airports are hubs for business professionals and salespersons traveling to networking events. Always keep in mind that when you find yourself in unconventional locations, you have the full attention of someone’s ear as they wait to be attended to. Standing in checkout lines is a great opportunity to distribute a business card to the person ahead or behind you. Just make sure your elevator pitch is ready and under thirty seconds.

Be mindful of your first impression. Pick your opportunities wisely. Make sure the version of yourself that you’re putting forth in an unconventional place is the impression you want someone to get. If you aren’t looking your best or you’re racing to the hairstylist, this may not be the best time to want to introduce yourself to a corporate woman who is wearing Chanel while texting on her smartphone. If you’re not displaying your most professional self and realize it’s too late to make a great first impression, move on. There will be other opportunities where you can put your best foot forward. Ask questions. Don’t center the entire conversation around yourself. Ask questions to get to know the other person. Starting a dialogue is much better than simply presenting your verbal resume. Asking questions makes you more memorable because people enjoy telling their story and sharing information when given the opportunity. Ask what specific work they do and in what field. Learning what the other person’s career involves can help you tailor your conversation specifically to them.

Attend events outside your comfort zone. Whatever field you wish to learn more about or are currently involved in, plan to attend some speaking engagements that are free or has very minimal entry fees. I would highly advise not trying to network in nightclubs. Normally, people in these environments are drinking to escape thoughts of work or they’ve already had too many drinks to retain your name. Seek setting where people are bored or are waiting impatiently for their number to be called. They are more likely to open up and speak freely. LaDonna Tutt is a Detroit, Michigan native, who operates her own public relations firm where she mentors young women on becoming future businesswomen.

Follow-up. Request the person’s email address or phone number before parting ways and follow-up later that week. This is a must. Practice. It’s going to be feel a bit uncomfortable at first, but practice is the only way to perfect your elevator pitch. When you’re at home, rehearse the best questions to ask. This will help you become comfortable talking to new people. And the more people you meet, the better you’ll be at networking.

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I am in the process of trying to purchase a house. I have several accounts that are on my credit report that are marked for deletion within the next six months which is when I am hoping to qualify for a mortgage, with the exception of one. This account is from Portfolio Recovery; I made the mistake of making a payment in 2010 which reset my debt and added two more years. This account is set for deletion in 2017 instead of 2015 which it would have been had I not made that payment. The debt is rather high and before contacting the agency myself I wanted to know if there were any other tactics for trying to get this account removed. A couple of years ago I sent a validation letter and they responded and sent me copies of statements from the original creditor that I guess verified that the debt belonged to me, I’m not sure if that would suffice. I want to make sure that I exhaust all other methods before I tried to make a settlement. Any help or tips would be greatly appreciated.

CREDIT

ANSWER: Unfortunately, when you make payments to a collection agency, it’s really hard to dispute the account. But just an FYI, according to case law (and this is NOT legal advice okay, lol), statements are not considered sufficient “validation of debt”. A signed contract, copy of ID, etc. would be considered sufficient validation of debt. So if it were my account, I would just tell them that it was never clear what I was paying for and that I dispute this account. I would require them to provide sufficient validation of debt. I would ask “where is the contract I signed”; “where is the copy of my driver’s license”. And if they cannot provide that, then I would demand they remove the account from my credit report. So I hope this helps. Hello, I have two questions: 1. Is it best to dispute an item with the account holder or with credit bureau? 2. When submitting letter to credit bureau, should you address All inaccuracies/disputes in one letter or send a letter for each inaccuracy/ dispute? ANSWER: It’s best to start with disputing directly with the credit bureaus and if no resolution after a few rounds with them, then it would be best to begin disputing directly with the original creditor/collection agency. The answer to your second question is a personal preference. But I wouldn’t send one letter per account. I’ve heard of some doing this though.

How do I go about having judgements removed from my report? ANSWER: You dispute judgements like you do any other account. But you want to request their method of verification because they don’t expect you to know that the courts are not reporting this information since they’re not subscribers of the credit bureaus. So they’re getting this information from a third party who messes up all the time. So when you dispute with them, just don’t take “no” for an answer. For accts in collections from 2012 should I pay balance and request agency to remove from collection status. Also statue of limitations ending in 2016 should I dispute or allow the SOL to run out? ANSWER: Paying the balance will refresh the account and restart your SOL clock. It will also drop your score. If the SOL ends in 2016, it would be up to you to decide if you want to wait it out or to dispute it now. I have a broken lease that I’m trying to pay off. The creditor won’t negotiate on the price. They’re saying it’s different from a credit card debt is this true? ANSWER: Yes those are two different debts. One is an installment debt (the lease) and one is a revolving debt (the credit card). But that doesn’t necessarily mean that the lease debt can’t be negotiated. That’s totally up to them though. When disputing inquiries or inaccuracies do I write the credit bureaus or the creditors? ANSWER: It’s best to start with a few rounds to the credit bureaus first.

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THE COUNTERFEIT

THE CHARACTER QUANDARY

When there is greatness on the horizon, the devil will always send a counterfeit. When God has something amazing for you, it will go beyond your comprehension. I believe in the devil. I believe he’s a liar. His witty methods are designed to block blessings, good juju, and a great man. I found myself in an all wrong relationship when I turned 30. I never once considered if the ‘great man’ who found me was counterfeit or legit. He spun an impenetrable web delicately laced with dreams of an amazing life. We were all sold: my family, friends and most importantly me. I imbibed it, no questions asked. I later discovered the depth of my counterfeit’s ramshackle and debatable character and paid a hefty price for my naiveté.

Character, I learned the hard way, must take precedence over charisma. Anyone can be charismatic. Mr. Charisma spots you from across the way, is ridiculously attractive, says all the right things and is magnetic. You can’t put your finger on it, but you know you feel connected in some way. That doesn’t mean he has the character to back up all that finesse and allure. That is substantiated by time and consistency. 41 | www.ambitionmag.com

There are 5 characteristics I now look for in a great man when I enter a high potential dating relationship. 1. Committed – Say yes to the man whose mind is already made up. He is the man you’ll be able to set your watch by. You can count on him to do his very best. His mind is made up, he’s all in and consulting God every single step of the way. Say no to the man who is ‘making up his mind’ about you, his life and living in general. 2. Protection – Physical protection is important; but it is a given. Say yes to the man who will protect you with his words. He will be gentle and always address you with respect. He won’t put you down in public nor will he ridicule you behind closed doors. He will have your back even if that means he has to stand up to his friends, family or his mama. This is a man who will be encouraging and supportive. He will make you feel provided for (financially, emotionally, sexually, and mentally) and he will make ‘it’ work--all of it. 3. Reliable – Don’t get it tangled with boring. Say yes to Mr. Reliable. He is the man who will be consistently dependable. He will have resilient character; and will also be a good judge of it. This man will walk in wisdom and use the spirit of discernment to lead and cover his family. You will count on him to make good decisions and right choices, even if you’re not around to assist. You will trust in his reaction to certain situations and overall he will be reliable in how he does life and how he studies God’s word. One thing he won’t be is boring. 4. Motivated – This man isn’t just sitting around waiting for someone else to stir his pot. He’s already gassed up and ready to drive. He will be motivated to work, get things done and be the provider that he was called to be. It’s not about the fancy education, the latest pair of sneakers, those perfect set of pearly whites or the rippling abs that have helped him get by all this time. Ask yourself: Is he a hard worker? When the tough times come, will he be so prideful that he won’t take a menial job temporarily to make ends meet?

5. Mindful – Say yes to the mindful man who thinks of you—always. You may not always like him, but you will always love him. You will value his mind and appreciate the way he thinks. His heart and intentions will be pure. He will consider that you’re a light sleeper. He will think about how your daughter is scared of the dark and ensure her nightlight will always shine. He will understand you live in a hurricane area and will stock extra canned goods, water and kerosene lamp. This is the man who’s got those broad shoulders to carry you and his family. Of course there are additional traits I would like in my husband: humorous, easy-going, good-looking and sexy. But when I consider my future vows, the solid foundation wins. The other desires held in my heart and his will be added to us as God promises in His word. A man who finds a wife finds a good thing. He was never created to be alone. Without Eve, Adam would have never changed his loin cloth, he wouldn’t have eaten 3-square meals, and he probably wouldn’t wash his hair enough. A woman is critical to a great man’s mission and overall success. A great man will reveal these characteristics over time. To the man of good character and pure heart—say yes. Choose him. Want him. Pick him. Love him. Don’t just love him because of; love him in spite of—in spite of his flaws and insecurities, his past pains and failures along with all the mistakes he will make. He won’t be perfect, but this great man will have his priorities straight. He’ll have a heart after the Lord. He’ll love you not just the way he wants to be loved, but the way you need to be loved. Don’t settle. Wait for him—the right ‘him’. You’ll be blown away when God sends you His best. Dorothy Enriquez is a writer, speaker and self-development training expert with a passion for inspiring women to achieve their dreams.