Ambition Magazine holiday relationship issue 2014

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Be BOLD ON PURPOSE

ng. i t e k r a M e l y t ifes L . s n o i t a l e R Public y g e t a r t S d n a r B

WWW.AGENCYSEVENPR.COM


ISSN 2334-1904


TABLE OF CONTENTS 13

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FEATURE 15 QUOTES FROM ENITAN BEREOLA

WHAT JANE WON’T DO / page 5 & WHAT JACK WILL DO HOLIDAY FASHION / page 7 LET US BE GREAT / page 11 LOVE, BEAUTY / page 17 OF THE HOLIDAYS MAKING CONNECTIONS / page 19 TOWARD COMMUNICATION

CHARLIE & RISSY DETERMINED TO BREAK THE CYCLE

CREDIT AMBITION Q&A / page 26 WITH YUSHEEKA GRAY


Letter From The Editor

The Ambition Magazine Production Team Editor-In-Chief LeKeisha Nicole Editorial Consulting Ashley Ferguson

L

The winter, December especially is always such a busy time. We have the holidays approaching which adds so much onto our normally busy schedules. In general, the additions are good because they are parties and plays with the kids and family gatherings. We are forced to spend time with those we love and not be consumed with the constant race of life. Another thing that comes with the holidays is relationships or at least the appearance of relationships. Dating someone new and bringing them around the family. The first holiday together as a significant couple. Also the dilemma of not being ready to present a relationship to the family but being in the stage of wanting to spend time with this person you are developing a relationship with, can be stressful. I say forget about all of this stressful stuff and just live in the moment. Meet your friends for a glass of wine, get dressed up for date night with your significant other, be silly and revert back to your childhood for a few hours as your exchange gifts with family! Enjoy the holidays and the people you love. We will see you in 2015! live, love, laugh & Be Ambitious‌ - LeKeisha Nicole

Content Editor Eboni Jones Print Greyden Press, LLC. Graphics Robert Wilburn Photograhy AP2 Photography Editorial Intern De’Nita Moss Public Relations Agency Seven PR


AMBITION MAGAZINE

WHAT JANE WON’T DO & WHAT JACK WILL DO By: Haniece Fearon

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LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS

“COMMUNICATE, LISTEN, AND FULFILL”

Jane is a successful lawyer who had her own firm and had been in business for over 10+ years. She met John, a marketing executive and owner of his own company, at a business networking event. They dated for 2 years, then John proposed to Jane at a private party and they have been married for 5 years strong. They seemed to get along very well; at least that’s what the neighbors thought. Jane and John lived in a gated community with other lawyers and business executives. This was “the perfect” area for them to live in. Jane and John had no children, but they both wanted children in the future. Their love life was a little “indifferent”. Jane liked bondage acts and anything related to such, and John didn’t. John had a foot fetish but Jane would never wear heels in the nude and/or model for John as he regularly requested. Sex for the two was ‘OK’ but it was never great. They both always felt “empty” afterwards. This led to them both finding their own “joy”. Every Saturday, they both would go their separate ways to enjoy themselves. Jane would happily go to an upscale lounge where they catered and hosted swinger parties. This party was everything for Jane because the attendees loved to perform bondage acts on each other. Jane would allow a few of the swingers to perform bondage acts on her, such as being cuffed and whipped; but she never participated in any sexual acts. She simply got her fetish fulfilled, every night she attended, then she would go home to John. Simultaneously, each Saturday, John would go to a “mix and mingle” party. This party was like a melting pot. It was where couples and singles of all different backgrounds and races got together to have fun. As time went by, John met Jasmine who was married to a doctor named Jack. Jasmine was a very friendly and flirty female. Over a few drinks one night, John brought it to the attention of Jasmine that he had a foot fetish and what it entailed. This was music to Jasmine’s ears, as she had a walk in closet of heels and had no problem showing them off for John.

Jasmine started to show up every Saturday in the sexiest pair of heels that was bound to catch any man’s attention, but she wore them just to please John. John absolutely loved and enjoyed every moment of it. He started to even compensate her monetarily for doing such a good deed and for putting on such a good show every Saturday. They would both look forward to meeting up every Saturday and having fun; but John always went home to Jane and Jasmine always went home to Jack. It was always kept quiet so no relationships, whether personal or professional, were ruined. Jack, who was Jasmine’s husband, always wanted a woman who could prepare a home cooked Mexican meal but Jasmine simply couldn’t. She also did not want to make any effort to learn how to do so. Jack fulfilled his desires by eating at the same Mexican restaurant every Saturday with his coworkers. Jack would request the same chef, Jennifer, to cook and serve his food. Jennifer was single and had some of the most piercing blue eyes, which no man could resist. Jennifer always flirted back with Jack, whenever he did. She even told him, numerous times, that she wished that he wasn’t married and even went as far as implying that he should divorce Jasmine and marry her; as she could fulfill all his needs. Jack never thought about divorcing Jasmine before, but Jennifer always made him think about it. Jack loved Jasmine and continued to flirt with Jennifer, every time she served his meal, but never took her offer. These couples all continued to live their lives “normally” and conducted business as usual. They; however, would continue to emotionally cheat on their partners to fulfill their desires. This is a ripple effect from the “What Jane won’t do and what Jack will do” merry-go-round. It’s like a never ending cycle, if one cannot be satisfied. I challenge all spouses and everyone in a committed relationship to communicate, listen and fulfill each other’s desires; so no one has to get on the merry-go- round. I challenge you.

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HAUTE HOLIDAY SEQUINS SHOES

2014 Fashion during the holidays can be just as great, if not better than, the good food and gifts that we all enjoy. This time, every year, we overindulge. We over give, overeat and, in my case, over shop and overdose on fashion! I love the parties, dinners and get-togethers; throughout the winter and holiday seasons. Here are some of my favorite picks for 2014!

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This shiny attention seeker is great year round, but for some reason sequins get so much attention during the holidays. Traditionally, sequined dresses were the star of the show but fashionistas have introduced so many other ways to strut their shiny stuff. You’ll definitely stand out in a pair of high-waisted sequined shorts with a pair of THICK opaque tights, a chunky sweater, statement necklace and a nice pair of booties

Every outfit needs a great pair of shoes to tie it all together. Footwear for your holiday garb should do anything but blend in. If you are one who isn’t into the flashiness of sequins, you can get creative with your footwork/footwear. A pair of glitter heels will bring anything and everything in your closet to life. You can also try some jazzy flats, if the weather is trying to cramp your style.

HOLIDA


MAKE A OVERSTATEMENT THE-TOP OUTERWEAR

A good jacket can do wonders for the simplest of threads. The key is to find a jacket or blazer that is simultaneously, weather and fashion, appropriate. Dress up an all black look with a nice fitted blazer or jacket. Try a jacket with an over-the-top fur (or faux fur) collar or a tuxedo inspired blazer to liven up, what would otherwise be, a drab look.

Accessories, for me, are like dressing on a salad. You can eat it without dressing but it will just be lettuce in a bowl. In other words, you are not complete without a little something else on top! A statement clutch is everything great and necessary for the holidays. Something shiny, cute and big enough to hold your party necessities is all you need. The only other requirement is to make sure it’s FAB!

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TEXTURES HEADGEAR

Of course, men cannot be left out of the holiday cheer. It may seem like fashion choices are few for our male counterparts, but the truth is they are anything but limited. Textured ties are a good place to juice things up for the season. Mix it up with various textures, fabrics and specific types of ties (or tie knots) to jazz up your holiday attire.

We all know that hats are a winter staple for both sexes. Structured hats are all the rave for this season’s masculine looks. Add a fedora or a pork pie hat to give your holiday looks a little edge!

FUR

Contrary to popular opinion, men can wear fur (or faux fur) too! Stay warm AND fashionable during the holidays in this opulent crowd pleaser. If you aren’t so sure about a full length fur, start off small with a fur trimmed leather jacket!

HOLIDAY FASHION Happy holiday festivity hopping!

Until Next Time, Stay Fashionable. The Fashion Wordsmith www.thefashionwordsmith.wordpress.com

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LEKEISHA NICOLE


LET US B E G R E AT Simple Steps to Cultivate Black Millennial Leadership 11

By: Christina Brown

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I. Talk To With a Young[er] Person

Now this might sound obvious or condescending, depending on who‘s reading this, but in my experience it’s incredibly radical. I recall attending a community meeting in II. Mentor and Be Mentored which a long time resident of a neighborhood An obvious benefit to being a mentee is circulated a petition demanding the city to learning from an experienced individual who lower its curfew to 9:00pm;in the summer, can provide guidance and support. While this for minors. I found this to be ridiculous for a is invaluable, it is equally crucial for these myriad of reasons (primarily, because it’s not same mentors to create space for mentees to even dark by 9:00pm). Nonetheless, I decided challenge processes and ideas. Not only does to prod a bit to identify what outcomes she this empower the budding generation, it also hoped to achieve through this legislation. She insists that mentors can mutually benefit from stated that she wanted the kids who loitered the contributions of those who are younger. near her property, to abstain from doing so. I Appreciating stories, ideas and experiences asked her if she had ever spoken to the young should be a reciprocal value and action, to people whom she was theoretically advorealize the potential of young people. Once cating against to be detained. Her response this potential is realized, the possibilities are was, “No, you can’t talk to kids these days.” endless; which informs my last recommendaHer fear of safety was a legitimate concern, tion. which I understood. However, her admission that she avoided any form of communication III. Get Out of The Way spoke to me as one of the reasons for intergenOne of my greatest frustrations as a young erational tensions. Engagement, especially at leader is withstanding the critique that youngthe community level, shouldn’t solely begin er people won’t step up. In my experience, or end with an issue. For sustainable solutions when that mythical young person emerges, to minor and complex problems, we must there’s resistance or downright refusal from begin in relationship building, as a tool to im- elders to relinquish control. Concerns about prove ourselves, each other and our commusustainability are valid; therefore there is the nities; collectively, which leads me to my next need for millennials to observe and learn from request suggestion. our elders. This process; however, is moot if there is no space created for apprentices to practice this leadership. To quote the great philosopher, Kanye West, “You got the power to let power go?” Transferring responsibility to the next generation is an obvious method to ensure continuity. However, the intentionality and encouragement that accompanies it can also signify the amount of faith had in succeeding generations. My insight is not designed to convey that millennials are devoid of flaw or beyond critique. Instead, I am insisting that these critiques must be accompanied by the action of our elders. Without this mutual cooperation, our communities are destined to inevitably decay; which is something I believe individuals across generations would agree, should be avoided at all costs.

“...we must begin in relationship building, as a tool to improve ourselves,...”

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Hair by: Shalonda Ashe/ Coco Ashe Salon Makeup by: Rissy Photography by: Aiyannah Ervin

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LeKeisha Nicole

Determined to Break the Cycle

Charles ‘Charlie’ Ervin and Aleris ‘Rissy’ Ervin are providing us with a playbook to win at the relationship game and are helping us break the cycles that are plaguing many of our families; which we may not even realize. Who are Charlie and Rissy?

Charlie and Rissy are the husband and wife behind the brand, Couple Vision TV, which was originally “Romantic QT”. I, first, was introduced to the couple when they were doing Romantic QT, which was all about maintaining the spice within a marriage. As a single and dating woman, I had a two-fold interest in their brand. One level of interest was taking in their information, as what to do in the future; as I embark upon a marriage. The other was the curiosity, of whether some of these tips would be useful in maintaining dating relationships. One of the things we all do in relationships, of any level (friends, bf/gf and married), is get comfortable. We stop doing the things that we once did to spark interest. In most cases, we stop dating.

Breaking the Cycle?

They began breaking the cycle when they began their relationship. They met as they were both working in the mall during that seasonal/ holiday time. Rissy was in a relationship while Charlie was just living the bachelor’s life; but as they worked together they became friends. While there was an attraction there, they were respectful of their current situations and became genuine friends, first. Once the opportunity presented itself, well, the rest is pretty much history. As we were talking they set the scene for me, them, being in a stock room and having one of those moments where someone either

makes the move or the moment is lost and you just have to wait on the next one. Rissy made the move, kissed him and from there they began to build what they have today. Do they proclaim to have a perfect relationship? NO! They do admit to: working on their relationship, focusing on one another and making decisions that were/are best for each other; now their family, versus making decisions that were/are best for them as individuals.

The Playbook

Have you tuned in to Couple Vision TV? Couple Vision TV is Charlie and Rissy’s online channel where they coach all of us through the relationship stage that we are in/at/on, “No matter what you are facing in your relationship, you will be able to apply at least one of our plays, to help you navigate the playing field until you make it to the end zone and score”. Where are you? Are you in the ‘Me, Myself & Single’ stage? At the single stage, Charlie and Rissy present three featured plays: cleaning your pantry, balance and altering your recipe. Are you in a relationship and in the ‘Path to Marriage’ stage? Featured plays in this relationship stage are: keep the sponge dry, rated pg and stay out of the zoo. Are you married and in the ‘Happy Marriage

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LeKeisha Nicole

University’ stage? Featured plays in the marriage stage are: get in the zone, build something and ‘it’s game time’. So, I know you are looking at those questions thinking, I don’t know; that is the beauty of the Couple Vision TV website. The coaches, Charlie and Rissy, provide you the tools to assess where you are currently. No matter what relationship status we are sitting at currently we all have the same goal of winning. Why not take the advice/ coaching from people who are successful.

The Coaches Corner

You can go into the Coaches Corner and/to get the each play’s breakdown. Sometimes, we don’t realize what we are or are not doing. It takes that assessment piece to realize where we are neglecting ourselves or significant other. SELF-IMPROVEMENT at its best! The Coaches Corner keeps us from having to have some of these ‘assessment’ moments with the girls or the fellas where we are giving and receiving terrible information. In so many of our lives, our friends and families are barriers to our relationships. Charlie and Rissy talked about not having many barriers when beginning their relationship, but actually had a few people who were really campaigning for them. They also admitted, they talked about how timing is everything. Rissy is from the islands, so Charlie couldn’t meet all of her family, immediately. She talked about a trip they made for him to meet her family. Even though she wanted her family to like and accept him, she was already in a place where she knew this was who she wanted. Charlie also knew this was the woman he planned to marry. Company website: http://www.charlieandrissy.com Website: http://www.couplevisiontv.com Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/charlierissy Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/charlie_rissy Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/charlieandrissy Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/RomantiQT Blip TV: http://www.Blip.tv/romanticqt Email: info@charlieandrissy.com

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R O F Y T U A E B , E V O L S Y A D I L O THE H By: Faith Nicole, MUA Baby, It’s Cold Outside! Let’s face it, the cold weather that we face makes us not want to do anything. We don’t want to roll out of bed with our warm and cozy blanket let alone putting on a full face of makeup. It’s just a lot of work when most would rather be snuggled up by the fireplace. However, our social calendar doesn’t stop because it’s cold and anyway some of the best celebrations come at this point of the year. Besides it’s so fun to plan your perfect holiday party look. Here are a few of my personal favorite makeup trends.

erfect with p in k s t g ple ye Glowin k is sim o lo is ble . Th weara brows and is d e t a tic pulling sophis ick to r t e h T yone. your for an eeping k is ff m ok o a crea this lo d use n a d e t ydrat . To ge skin h dation n u o f id end or liqu ecomm r I w r ded glo minize that ad f an illu o it b e a little n. Mak adding ndatio u o f r with you lished o in with p s y sta her e look and eit s sure th w o r db roome tick. well g or lips gloss

music ot the N l. a t t. Me he hea Heavy acks t p k o lo etal but this a gunm r o n e a gold ff this I love lling o u p o t he key ent. I eye. T lacem p r e p pro d with look is mery li im h s d nd gilde ease a love a tary cr n e m ple h the a com e. Finis n o b l brow es. If neutra d lash n a r e ith lin lashes look w f false o n a f not a oats you’re ast 2 c le t a e s t then u on’t le ote: D N . a r a c ly of mas mplete dry co a r a c s ts. the ma en coa betwe

o ne wh t. Anyo u o P t ld erfec e a bo The P s I lov w o n k s, me starter knows t. For n e m e t uick. lip sta lip is q ld o b on a on the putting do this y ll a r nt n lite tateme You ca es a s k a m g ed lip y durin go. A r peciall s e t u yb lums any da love p o ls a I . lidays eeper the ho even d d n a rries and be pinks.

The key to getting it all together is to have confidence. Remember it’s just makeup and it washes off and practice makes perfect. Happy Holidays!

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“Heavy Metal shadow look. Mushroom Eyeshadow from Urban Decay $18 and Eye Kandy Sprinkles on top. Lips are a combination of Plum Berry Lipstick and Plateau Lipstick by Love, Beauty Cosmetics $18 each with a hot pink Makeup Forever Rouge Artist Intense $20.”

“Perfect Pout. Perfect red lipstick that will bring everyone holiday cheer is Ruby Ruby by Love, Beauty Cosmetics $18 fybeauty.com coupled with gilded gold lids in Clubbing $12 by Love, Beauty Cosmetics”

“Glowing Skin makeup look. Eyeshadow Love, Beauty Cosmetics in Perfection $12 with Hefner Eyeshadow in the crease $12 available at www. fybeauty.com. Lipstick is Mingle by Love, Beauty Cosmetics $18 with Ballet Slippers Lip Gloss $14 www.fybeauty.com Illuminizer is Gleam by NYX Cosmetics Born To Glow Liquid Illuminator $7.50”

“another look at Heavy Metal”


MAKING CONNECTIONS TOWARDS COMMUNICATION "WHY DO MEN FAIL TO COMMUNICATE IN RELATIONSHIPS?"

BY: LATOYA STEGALL

Mo Stegall talks about why men fail to communicate in today's society. Communication is a universal tool and many of us are not taught, at an early age, how to communicate effectively. Therefore, when we engage in relationships we may not truly understand the ‘Love language’ of our mate or how to convey our thoughts and emotions where we are understood completely. The failure to communicate isn't predicated on a specified gender, as it is with a specified individual. If we never encompass/encounter the chatter- box manual that depicts, to us, how to translate anger into receptive dialogue or disappointment into effective conversations our significant others are presented with emotionally charged words. This heightens minor occurrences and escalates them into problematic unwanted distress signals, leaving us in an ocean of frustration.

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MEN TEND TO BOTTLE THEIR EMOTIONS BECAUSE AT TIMES, WHEN EXPRESSED, THEY ARE NOT RECEIVED WELL AND CAN CAUSE APPREHENSION AND A HOST OF INSECURITIES.

Men tend to bottle their emotions because at times, when expressed, they are not received well and can cause apprehension and a host of insecurities. Failure to communicate can be caused by a host of items, picked up over a period of romantic shopping at various relationship boutiques that are not bargain buys, yet, are expensive upkeeps! Differing genders respond to life differently because men and women are programmed differently. What makes us different could equate to: upbringing, life experiences and a number of other encounters or occurences. I lost my mother in 2000, my uncle in 2001 and my grandmother in 2003. For many, those concurrent events would cause a nervous breakdown, but I viewed them differently; which caused me to respond accordingly. How we respond to life could be predicated on how we view life. There is no equated anecdote to why men and women resolve, approach or dissect life differently.

won't require immediate attention; therefore, will not need to command an expedient reaction. 2. Letter In -A-Bottle - When Tom Hanks’ character, in Cast Away, was stranded on a remote island, alone, he utilized several tactics to assist him with communicating to the outside world and alerting them of his distress. If you and your spouse/mate have difficulties communicating face to face, you may want to try the Letter -In -A-Bottle approach. Write a note or a letter, for each other, and leave it in: a bottle, envelope or a high traffic area for your spouse/mate to read and respond to later. This method allows uninterrupted communication and causes thought provoking responses. 3. Talk -It-Out - When faced with any situation, one of the best practices of effective relationships is simply talking through the issue without placing blame. This tool is excellent for communicators who loathe creating dialogue that renders answers, resolves conflict and restores intimacy.

5 Tips to Help Alleviate Communication Issues 1. Coin Toss - Before the start of many football games, a coin toss is initiated to decide who will receive possession; in relationships we must flip a coin and decide what to address and what to table until a later time. Every issue that arises

4. Be Honest - One of the most overlooked assets of alleviating communication issues in relationships is being honest. The old saying, "nothing beats a lie but the truth", is adequately true.

nal hardship and tarnish a ‘medallion’ of a friendship. The first truth should always be with yourself .Be honest with yourself about expectations and your ability to meet those expectations. There’s nothing more disappointing than buying a Bentley with a Honda engine. Being dishonest presents luxury, yet encompasses a ‘will work for parts’ mentality. 5. Do-You-Hear-What-I-Hear - We were given two ears and one mouth; yet, we talk twice as much as we listen. Learning to hear what your mate is saying and digesting what they mean will allow you to respond with the proper replies that are essential for growth and development. Mo Stegall is a global Brand Ambassador, top motivational speaker, author of two bestselling books (Against All Odds and All I Can be from the Hands of Delilah to the arms of Samson) and a Co-star off of Cartoon Network’s series NBA Hoop Troop. Socialize with Mo: Twitter - @Mostegall Facebook Fan page - Mo Stegall Website - Mostegall.com Instagram - @ Mo Stegall

Being dishonest will cause internal stress, exter-

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CONSISTENTLY WRITE LETTERS TO DISPUTE THE ACCOUNT. I HOPE THIS HELPS.

CREDIT AMBITION Q&A WITH YUSHEEKA GRAY, COO OF AMB CREDIT AND

Is there anything you can do to get late payments removed? And if not how bad do late payments affect you? (_imaginethat) ANSWER: LATE PAYMENTS ARE THE WORSE – NEXT TO BANKRUPTCIES AND OTHER PUBLIC RECORDS. ONE LATE PAYMENT CAN CAUSE YOUR SCORE TO DROP 100 POINTS (MORE OR LESS). THEY’RE NOT EASY TO GET OFF EITHER, ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE SEVERAL. YOU MIGHT, HOWEVER, BE ABLE TO ASK FOR A “GOODWILL REQUEST” IF YOU ONLY HAVE ONE LATE PAYMENT AND HAVE OTHERWISE, BEEN A GOOD PAYING CUSTOMER.

Can you dispute a collection you paid off so they can remove it from your credit? I know I made the mistake of paying it. (mrs_albro) ANSWER: YES, YOU MOST CERTAINLY CAN. What do you do if a collection agency tells you that they can’t do a pay for deletion? (mslaydie) ANSWER: WELL, TECHNICALLY THEY CAN’T BECAUSE THEY’RE UNDER CONTRACT W/THE BUREAUS AGREEING NOT TO DO THAT. BUT THEN AGAIN, TECHNICALLY, THEY’RE NOT REQUIRED TO REPORT AN ACCOUNT TO ANYONE OR RESPOND TO YOUR DISPUTE SO IF THEY WANT TO HAVE IT DELETED, THEN THEY COULD SIMPLY AGREE NOT TO RESPOND TO YOUR DISPUTE, WHICH “SHOULD” CAUSE THE ACCOUNT TO BE DELETED. SO TELL THEM THAT! ;-)

CREDIT CARD COMPANIES THAT HAVE “CREDIT BUILDER PROGRAMS”, SUCH AS FIRST PREMIER, ETC. YOU’LL HAVE TO PAY A FEE – SOMETIMES OUT OF POCKET AND SOMETIMES FROM YOUR AVAILABLE CREDIT LIMIT – BUT THE COST IS USUALLY WELL WORTH THE INVESTMENT OF RE-ESTABLISHING OR ESTABLISHING GOOD CREDIT FOR YOURSELF. How do you know if a debit is expired? How do you get it removed? (Kristen_mami) ANSWER: EXPIRED FOR WHAT? FOR BEING SUED? FOR REPORTING TO YOUR CREDIT REPORT? YOU CAN ALWAYS LOOK UP THE LAWS AND STATUTES FOR YOUR STATE. YOU’LL USUALLY FIND YOUR ANSWERS THERE. TO GET IT REMOVED, YOU MUST FIND GROUNDS FOR DISPUTING AND THEN

If obtaining a credit card is hard to do how should one go about obtaining a line of credit to rebuild? (neshadanae) ANSWER: IT DEPENDS ON THE REASON YOU’RE HAVING DIFFICULTY OBTAINING A CREDIT CARD. IF IT’S BECAUSE YOU HAVE POOR CREDIT, THEN YOU NEED TO START WITH REPAIRING THAT. IF IT’S BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO CREDIT, THEN YOU CAN EITHER START ESTABLISHING WITH A SECURED CREDIT CARD OR YOU CAN APPLY TO OTHER A M B I T I O N M AG . CO M

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