Lap Nachos & Other Bad Decisions Plague My Life

Nick Roberson is a long-time mortgage industry veteran and a board member of the California Association of Mortgage Professionals. He’s a forthcoming and giving guy, who shares his … unique … perspective on work and life on his Facebook account. Here are some of Nick’s FB thoughts this month:

Add nachos to the list of items I should not attempt to eat while driving my car back from lunch. I will be in my car eating my “lap nachos” if anyone needs me. Oh, and does anyone know a good local detailer? Lola (my car) may not forgive me for this one.

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How Many Realtors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one Realtor is all it takes to screw a handsome, bespoke lightbulb into the crystal and antique brushed brass chandelier in the grand entryway with soaring ceilings and custom crown molding in this classic Georgian-style home located in a gated neighborhood with private lake and golf course. Won’t last! Must see!

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I have been trying to have a better diet lately. I missed the farmers market this weekend, so I was forced to visit the local grocery store for some fruit and vegetables. I usually like to try grapes first before I buy them, but I took a chance on some and brought them home. I struggled a bit with the packaging at first, but once I got that stubborn cork out of the bottle, I could pour a glass of those grapes. They were far better than I anticipated. I feel healthier already.

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Why does this pop-up keep showing up over my head when I meet someone new?

I am especially confused about the “In-Game Purchases” options.

My daughter Savannah asked me what I wanted for my birthday this year and I sent her this picture of a shark desk. She simply responded, “No, you are not getting a shark desk. You need to grow up! Oh, and don’t ask for a Taco cart again, either.” Geesh, didn’t she see the teeth light up? How can you say no to that? Plus, it would go nicely with my Captain America chair.

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I don’t care how nice the hand soap smells … you should never walk out of the restroom sniffing your fingers!

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A poodle and a collie are walking together when the poodle suddenly unloads on his friend. “My life is a mess,” he says. “My owner is mean, my girlfriend ran away with a schnauzer, and I’m as jittery as a cat.”

“Why don’t you go see a psychiatrist?” suggests the collie.

“I can’t,” says the poodle. “I’m not allowed on the couch.”

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Thanks to our extensive rainy season and the subsequent massive pollen count, I wake up each morning looking like a drunk raccoon after a 3-day bender who had an unfortunate collision with a garbage truck. I’m not sure where the glitter came from, though.

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Stress is when you wake up screaming, and you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet. n

To see more by Nick, just go to www.facebook.com/nickroberson