Stress-free scheduling for your extended family gathering

BY ERIK J. MARTIN, CTW FEATURES

How to accommodate everyone’s calendar without chaos this holiday season

Even with the coronavirus lingering, “The holiday season seems to begin so much “Particularly due to coronavirus, many people’s schedules seem busier than earlier these days, and families often feel people are deciding on whether or not they ever. And that makes it challenging pressure to plan and host the perfect want to engage in social events and travel. to coordinate calendars among gatherings,” says Meg Nordmann, the St. That’s why it’s a good idea this year to family members when it’s time to plan for Augustine, Florida-based author of “Have communicate holiday ideas well ahead of holiday gatherings. Deciding which house will Yourself a Minimalist Christmas” (Amazon, time while also listening to the current host a party, who will make and bring a 2020). “But if we can curate and edit our needs and concerns of the family and friends particular dish, limits on gift-giving, and calendars in advance and decide what’s most involved,” suggests Williams. picking the perfect date and time can trigger important to us, it’s easier to block out the family schisms and stress — especially this holiday noise and avoid becoming distracted Olga Zakharchuk, a busy mother and small year, when relatives may have to adapt their and overscheduled.” business owner in Los Angeles, recommends plans to prevent the spread of COVID-19. that all folks involved in holiday planning Risa Williams, a licensed psychotherapist and should meet up on Zoom weeks before the But these details don’t have to descend into online life coach in Los Angeles who big day. disarray if you take the right approach. That specializes in anxiety and stress reduction, means grabbing the holidays by the reins agrees that the key is to get a head start on “As you work through the details and settle early and encouraging a democratic dialogue holiday prep. on arrangements with your loved ones, with your loved ones. remember that your best-laid plans will never

be perfect. Focus on accommodating everyone in a reasonable manner and maintaining the comfort and entertainment of your guests,” says Zakharchuk.

Many families follow the recommended tradition of rotating holiday hosting duties, whereby, for example, one adult sibling has the Christmas Day feast at their house one year, followed by another sibling hosting at their residence the next year, mom and dad having everyone over the following year, and so on.

With Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s happening so close in succession, inter-season rotations are common, too, in which one relative hosts Thanksgiving while another family member invites everyone over a month later for Christmas Eve.

“Rotations for hosting work well for many families. But it’s best to talk about this and decide on a rotation schedule well before the holiday season begins to reduce the tension of it being an immediate concern,” notes Jaime Engebretson, owner and executive event planner for J’aime Events in Maple Grove, Minnesota. “There can also be a discussion about on-off rotations — meaning families who can attend the party one year but need

to skip the next year to partake in a celebration at their in-laws, for instance.”

To manage the fine details, Nordmann suggests using a group text, social media message thread, or email chain for ongoing quick communication and firming up of plans.

“This is where you can delegate food dishes, drinks, dishware, or decor. If your family or group is very large, you could even share an online calendar, online spreadsheet, or Google doc that everyone could fill in and claim the listed items for that they’d like to contribute,” advises Nordmann.

When it comes to setting boundaries — such as how much to spend on gifts and enforcing pandemic precautions — aim for an open and honest conversation and try to set clear expectations.

“The host should be the one to give clear directions on these guidelines so that everyone is on the same page,” Nordmann says.

Lastly, while many believe it’s important to remain flexible when making holiday plans, others insist that opening the door to too many changes could be a recipe for disaster. “Family gatherings should be less flexible. There are a lot of people trying to juggle their schedules to fit in with work, vacation days, and other family events,” adds Nordmann. “So once a date, time, and location have been agreed upon, try to stick to that as much as possible. Rescheduling everything just because a couple of relatives can’t make it could wreck plans for everyone else.”

© CTW Features

“Focus on accommodating everyone in a reasonable manner and maintaining the comfort and entertainment of your guests,”