PARTING SHOT NOTHING TO SEE HERE BY ROBERT YASUMURA

Nothing to See Here

BY ROBERT YASUMURA

ONE OF THE HALLMARKS of an autocracy is to go after the teachers. Teachers. Seriously, the people who get crappy pay for trying to put information in your child’s head. I don’t know if you’ve met your kid, but he’s an idiot. I can’t even get him to stop kicking the back of my seat on an airplane. And yet some teacher takes that idiot child of yours and gets him to understand the themes in Huckleberry Finn. If I had to do that job, I’d search for a quiet spot to commit suicide.

Teachers, whatever their flaws, have the nasty habit of letting facts slip out. Facts like the Jews don’t have horns; Tibet is not legally part of China; Lord Xenu was not Galactic Emperor, nor does he command you to build a tax-exempt real estate empire. Teachers also introduce seditious ideas, like the scientific method (“Do you have any actual data to back up your thesis that George Soros heads a vast global conspiracy? Then I’m gonna have to say this is not a good science fair project.”). Meanwhile, authoritarians are often doing some pretty heinous things, and justifying them with some pretty flimsy stories. The simplest of facts or the slightest bit of critical thinking can undermine an authoritarian narrative (“President Erdogan, I think we actually did kill a million Armenians.” “Hey man, stop killing my buzz, I’m trying to screw the Kurds over here!”).

That takes us to Idaho—the state you confuse with Iowa, but have never bothered to correct in your head because you’ve got better things to worry about. Idaho voted for Trump by more than 30 points in 2020. They drank the orange Kool-Aid and went back for seconds. For their next act, Idaho has drafted a boatload of ultra-Trumpy legislation. Things like a “fetal heartbeat” law; a law against mask mandates; and a law that authorizes the killing of 90 percent of the wolves in Idaho (because, among other things, Trump hates wolves, the sharks of the land!). Among this raft of bills is a law that prohibits the teaching of “critical race theory” in public universities and grade schools.

Generally, critical race theory (CRT) just means paying attention to racism in history. I know, shocking, right? It’s more complicated than that, but not by much. It’s really not a big deal, unless you’re a white supremacist who wants to pretend George Washington’s slaves really appreciated him. CRT is an approach that really only affects undergraduate and graduate students majoring in history. It isn’t indoctrinating Idaho State University students into the local chapter of the Black Panthers, which at ISU is the one Black student who happens to own a beret (his name is Carl). The MOST a non–history major might have to deal with CRT is:

Student: The Civil War was about states’ rights. Professor: Really? What specific rights did these states want? Student: Um … well, the right to own slaves … Professor: Any others? Student: Damn you, critical race theory! Now I have to reconcile myself with the past!

CRT is not being used in grade schools; Boise kindergarteners are mercifully safe. The closest to CRT one might hear in high school is a teacher saying, “Hey, slaughtering Native Americans was some pretty immoral stuff, am I right?” It’s really not controversial material at all … except in Trumpworld, where Republicans now make legislation based on Tucker Carlson’s A-block rant.

Don’t be fooled though. This isn’t the “Mr. Potato Head” controversy (“They’ve made Mr. Potato Head a gay Marxist! Now how am I supposed to teach my kid about gender norms and Ayn Rand?!”). Trump Republicans are genuinely scared of critical race theory. “Make America Great Again” isn’t just a hat that lets you know you shouldn’t hire someone for that job in human resources. MAGA is a fable, and it’s an agenda. The fable is that the United States was best when white men had total control over everything; it was like an episode of Care Bears, but without that one sassy, darker bear. And the agenda is to get back to that mythical time, by any means necessary. Inconvenient facts like “Hey, it wasn’t totally awesome for Black people, women, or gay people” tend to ruin the project. Especially when told by one of those meddling teachers. n Robert Yasumura is a comedian in Los Angeles.

Back to School for All: Return, Recover and Reimagine

By Randi Weingarten, President AMERICAN FEDERATION OF TEACHERS

Schools must open this fall. In person. Five days a week. With the space and health safeguards to do so. And my union, the American Federation of Teachers, is committed to making it happen. School is where children learn best, where they play together, form relationships and learn resilience. It’s where many children who otherwise might go hungry eat breakfast and lunch. Parents rely on schools not only to educate their kids but so they can work. An astounding 3 million mothers dropped out of the workforce during the pandemic. The United States will not be fully back until we are fully back in school. And my union is all-in. I recently gave a speech detailing the steps necessary to return safely to full in-person learning, including building the support systems to help students recover socially, emotionally and academically, and overcoming the concerns and fears some parents have about sending their children back to school. We must address those fears. The AFT, with the NAACP and others, recently polled parents of public school students. Only 73 percent of parents—and only 59 percent of Black parents—said they are comfortable with in-person learning for their child this fall. But if the safety and education measures the AFT is calling for are in place, the comfort level jumps to 94 percent of parents, including 87 percent of Black parents. It’s clear that mitigation measures to prevent the spread of the coronavirus create trust, as does collaboration between schools and families. COVID-19 vaccines have been real game-changers, and it’s great news that the Pfizer vaccine has been approved for 12- to 15-year-olds. My union is all-in. We are pressing for those safety and education measures in schools across the country. And we are dedicating $5 million to a “Back to School for Everyone” national campaign to connect not just with teachers and school staff but also with families and communities, to build trust and confidence in children returning to school, particularly those who have been learning remotely. But we must do more than physically return to schools, as important as that is to create the normalcy we crave. We must also put in place the supports to help students recover—socially, emotionally and academically. And we must reimagine teaching and learning to focus on what sparks students’ passion, builds confidence, nurtures critical thinking and brings learning to life—so all children have access to the opportunities that give them the freedom to thrive. Here are 10 ideas to move us toward those goals: 1. Launch the AFT’s “Back to School for Everyone” national campaign to underscore the importance of in-school learning. 2. Form school-based committees of staff, parents and, where appropriate, students to plan for and respond to safety issues and to conduct safety

“walk-throughs” in school buildings. 3. Align health and pedagogical best practices by reducing class sizes to reflect the Centers for

Disease Control and Prevention’s 3-feet social distancing guidance. Eliminate simultaneous in-person and remote instruction. 4. Offer “office hours” and clinics for AFT affiliates and others to discuss ideas and get technical support. 5. Roll out camps and summer programs that provide academic support, help students get back into routines and encourage kids to have fun. 6. Promote community schools to build trust and remove obstacles to getting kids and families the support and services they need. 7. Increase the emphasis on civics, science and project-based learning, to nurture critical thinking and bring learning to life. 8. Use funds from the American Rescue Plan to fill shortages of teachers, counselors, psychologists and nurses. 9. Launch a federal task force to rethink accountability—how we assess student learning and how to measure what really counts. 10. Engage stakeholders—families, educators and community partners—to ensure funds in the

American Rescue Plan and other federal funds for schools are spent equitably and effectively. We are all yearning to move forward after this difficult year. For our young people, that means being back in school, with their peers and caring adults, with all the supports they need. Despite all the divisions in our country, there is a consensus around the importance of strong public schools. That is especially vital now, when we need our schools to provide access to a great, well-rounded education to spark kids’ passion for learning and help them recover socially and emotionally. We have a rare chance to seed a renaissance in American public education. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity not only to reopen and recover, but to reimagine our schools in a way that makes every public school a place where parents want to send their children, educators and support staff want to work and students thrive.

Photo: Brett Sherman

The United States will not be fully back until we are fully back in school.

Weingarten speaking at AFT headquarters in Washington, D.C., May 13.