Shelter in the Storm

By Didi Arias

Leaving the room where the family has the television on, I retreat to my office to avoid the breaking news flashes and nonstop talking head chatter. It is the last days of February and just as things were starting to feel more hopeful in the world, it looked like they were headed to Hell in a handbasket instead. Though I would rather be in the barn right now, burying my face in a still-fluffy winter coat, duty calls and I must crack on with this article. But man, as soon as it’s finished, I´m going to seek out that sweet equine refuge and let my mind drift away from war and illness, suffering and tragedy as I breath in all that horsey goodness. The barn is my shelter in the storm and when times get trying, I know exactly where I´m headed.

I remember once being told by a family in the Midwest about how their child had been assigned a “Storm Home” at school. They explained that it was a system where a helping family would offer their home to a child unable to get back home on the school bus should a blizzard whip up. I had grown up in a place that had harsh winters but had never heard of such a setup before, and while it sounded like a good idea I wasn´t sure if they were pulling my leg or not. However, my doubts were put aside once I heard author and humourist Garrison Keillor tell a tale of this exact same arrangement when he was a child. I was pleased to know that it was a real and kind thing and not just a story that Minnesotans tell gullible outsiders!

In our profession we work to teach safe riding skills in a well-suited environment: a physical safety. Yet there is the other type of safety that our surrounds provide too, an emotional one. Just as I want and need the relief an escape to the barn can provide, our students do too (one of the reasons we all like hanging out there so much). It is like it is a storm home for the emotions where we can momentarily hide out from the outside issues that rage at us. Of course the horses are the top draw, as well as the fact that being a part of barn life is a membership in something truly special. As blizzards aren´t the only storms we face in life, an escape to the barn can give comfort like no place else during bad, sad or justneeding-a-break times. I have a friend who rightly treats her facility like a sacred space. She asks her clients to respect that as well as each other in the common desire to be there with, and for, the horses. The topics of world affairs, politics and such matters are best left outside the door and shouldn´t enter her equine sanctuary. Her clients appreciate her refreshing approach and one gets a feeling that there is a sigh of relief hanging over the place.

It feels so good to be able to say “sure!” to a student who rings and asks if they can come down to the barn “because they miss it”, or when they ask if they may just sit and watch a lesson or groom a horse. One of my shelter seekers was the lady who just liked to come down and sweep – anything! How can one deny a sweeper? Providing an ambiance of “good feels” is part of the job

description, I feel, and the fact that I am in a position where I can offer that to people is hugely satisfying.

When a trip to the barn isn´t possible but a fix for inner quiet is definitely needed, suggest to those in need that they mull over some particularly pleasant barn time. Those memories can be very settling. I like to involve my senses to get me through to the next visit, so may enjoy viewing photos or videos of the horses and some good rides. For those that are more hands-on, get those boots polished to a sparkle; not only does it accomplish a task but also gives a nice sense of anticipation and readiness for the next trip to the barn. Something that got me through a horseless desert of a time when I moved away were my humble riding gloves. An instructor at the time advised I take them with me.

“But I won´t be riding” I moaned.

But apparently, that wasn´t the point. It seems that whenever I had The Longing, I was to close my eyes and take in their heavenly, horse-sweaty scent. Inhale. Hold. Exhale. Repeat. I am sure that it is of no surprise to anyone here that this actually works. In fact, I have a friend who packs her riding gloves whenever she has to go away on executive business trips.

“Seriously, you take your gloves with you?” I asked her.

“Yup. They remind me of what I have to look forward to when I return. I wouldn´t leave home without them.” she winked.

I guess it is a matter of each of us finding our own personal calm and safe place. Not a bad place to find it.

Gimme Shelter – One Horsewoman´s Method

I have a rather posh friend who has a true gift of being able to remove herself from unpleasant locations while still being there. One evening she inadvertently found herself alone in a dingy bar, having confused the meetup point with her husband. As the sole female surrounded by beer chugging, cigarette smoking, pool and dart playing strangers, she primly sat down and ordered a rosé. She was served a beer. Eventually her husband walked in, relieved to finally find her. She kept her eyes closed as he asked if she was alright.

“Yes” she replied.

“But what is wrong? Why are your eyes closed?” he asked.

“I am pretending I am somewhere else”, was her serene response.

When alone I asked her where her “somewhere else” was. I should have anticipated her answer: she went on a ride with her horse. Of course she did.

We never let her live that story down.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Didi Arias is a Level 3 ARIA Certified Instructor and national dressage judge and teacher, who resides in Almeria, Spain.

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