Mango Juice — Maite Ramos

Mango Juice

Maite Ramos

Artist Statement: Mango Juice is about the latest stage in my trauma healing process that started a year ago. It’s about learning to trust myself with feelings and experiences that feel too big, and loving the tender parts that want dessert before dinner.

I had mango juice instead of water An omelette and sausages when I should’ve had spaghetti Read about a giant spider and a flying car instead of the Good Friday Agreement

Called my mom and had a beer She told me I always sound so good even though I tell her about all the trouble I’m having And I know she’s right I just can’t seem to find my way out of my own head.

I’ve given everything to you. I’ve given you a year of my life and my love and mango juice and I don’t know why it isn’t enough I want to run at my life at breakneck speed and see all the things these new feet can do But you Push That goddamn Airbag In front of me. I’m ready now, I promise, I won’t stumble this time, I won’t leave you behind, I won’t eat pasta when I know I want sausages Just let me try

Please.

I want to try all these new things and people and I swear, I pinky promise, I won’t snap my neck if I trip I’ve bruised myself so many times and it’s never killed me I swear - I can do this And I am right now, look - do you see me in the mirror doing all the things I never let us do? It feels like drinking mango juice When I could’ve had water.