Being Ryo and りょう:

Being Ryo and りょう: From Code-switching to Code-meshing

By Ryo Adachi

Code-meshing puts emphasis on the mixing of codes, instead of seeing them as distinct things that you need to switch between.”

"So how do you pronounce your name?"

“It’s Ryo in English, and りょう in Japanese.”

This is a conversation I have almost every time I meet someone new. My name, while spelled Ryo, actually reads as “Rio” in English. And it has such a totally different pronunciation in Japanese that I cannot even spell it out with the Roman alphabet. Ever since I moved to Tunisia at age three, I have had the two different pronunciations of my name, one in English and one in Japanese.

Growing up, the two different pronunciations of my name have been a symbol of the two language worlds I live in. Born in Japan, I moved to Tunisia and started attending an American school at age three. At school, I was “Ryo,” the quiet and shy student who cried often. At home, I was “りょう,” the talkative girl, living in her imagination and fantasies. On weekdays, going to school, I would not only switch to English, but I would switch into “Ryo.” On weekends, as I spent time with my family or Japanese friends who attended other schools, I would become “りょう.” The two names not only separated my two language worlds, but they also created two different personalities. And growing up, I kept developing two separate and very different personalities. Or I believed so.

For the first time, the lines between my language worlds got blurred.”

I repatriated to Japan after three years in Tunisia, and my daily life got filled with Japanese. “りょう” was trying hard to navigate the expectations in Japan, speaking Japanese and trying to match her Japanese peers. With the emotional labor to fit in, I obsessed over my “Ryo” self to establish something I was different from others. “Ryo” was the reason why I didn’t fit in. I adjusted “りょう” so I could be accepted. But internally, I relied on the fact that “Ryo” was always there, so I could be unique, and I had an excuse for not fitting in. So as I led a globally mobile childhood, codeswitching has played a huge role both in my day-to-day life, as well as in major transitions. It helped me navigate different school systems, from an American school in Tunisia, to a public school in Japan, to an international school in Vietnam. I not only spoke different languages but switched my personality accordingly. Linguistically, code-switching is defined as “the ability on the part of bilinguals to alternate effortlessly between their two languages” (Bullock and Toribio 1). In our everyday life, codeswitching is often referred to as the ability to switch between different codes, behaviors, ways of talking, etc., to match the situation.

From home to school, to friend groups and different countries, I would switch back and forth between Japanese and English, as well as my “Ryo” self and my “りょう” self. While I absolutely loved my life as a TCK growing up in different countries, there was always a part of me thinking, I’m never showing my full self anywhere. No matter where I was, I felt like I was having to “create” another version of myself. In an English context, I would develop my “Ryo” self to match the community. Same goes for Japanese contexts with “りょう.”

So who am I? Am I “Ryo”? Or “りょう”? The question constantly came up in my mind. I have gotten very good at code-switching and navigating different language worlds, but where can I express myself as a whole? Is that even possible?

These questions intensified as I started attending college in the US. For the first time, the lines between my language worlds got blurred. I met people who spoke both Japanese and English. I was often in groups where some knew me as “Ryo” and others knew me as “ りょう .” Living on campus, my “home” and “school” were no longer separated either. Before college, ...

Ryo Adachi is a TCK currently attending college in the United States. She grew up in Japan, Vietnam, and Tunisia.

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