OKLetsNo: Misogyny and the Malay/Muslim Men

OKLETSNO:

Misogyny and the Malay/ Muslim Man

BY AHMAD ABDULLAH

While you may not have been aware of OKLETSGO (OLG) in the first year or so of its existence, in June 2020, the popular local podcast channel would have been impossible to ignore.

Started in February last year, OLG is the brainchild of three former local Malay radio DJs – Dzar Ismail, Dyn Norahim and Raja Razie.

It quickly earned a high profile for its irreverent takes on issues affecting the Singapore Malay community, as well as a willingness to take on topics still considered controversial in the community, such as apostasy and transgenderism.

This allowed it to become the number one podcast on Spotify’s Singapore charts, pulling in more than 100,000 listeners per episode and attracting guests ranging from Papa Rock Ramli Sarip to Deputy Prime Minister Heng Swee Keat.

Then on June 9, 2020, Twitter user @anygalien posted the following:

I dislike OLG because they remind me of the Malay men in my life and environment who casually dehumanise and sexualise women and brush it off as jokes. Having that normalised and aired to the Malay masses does enable/shape the current and next generation of Malay men.

The tweet went viral, with others commenting on their own discomfort with the show’s content and giving examples of misogynistic content from the show’s hosts.

These included referring to women as daging fresh and daging basi (fresh meat and stale meat), degrading references to the female anatomy as well as descriptions of their own sexual experiences with their wives.

The show eventually issued a statement in response to the growing controversy, which said the hosts “recognize the need for improvements”, but which stopped short of an actual apology for offensive content.

Meanwhile the show’s fans – inexplicably referred to as ‘Bloods’ (no reference to the American street gang, it would seem) – rushed to its defence, claiming any sexist banter was just in the name of entertainment and echoing the hosts’ claims that this was in the name of differentiating OLG from tame, hamstrung mainstream media. The saga eventually drew the attention of on June 15 calling on OLG to “sincerely increased instances of domestic violence women being inferior, existing only for the The hosts said they did not “condone about being real, and being real now controversy to a close, the issue of much an instigator as it was a product of This is evident in the toxic comments by some of the podcast’s fans – that misogyny is so deeply ingrained in some that they would go out of their way to defend it against criticism, to the point of insulting or even threatening others.

In the worst cases, OLG fans even insulted, This is not unique to the Malay community slut-shamed and threatened critics, to the or even to Singapore, as shown by extent of doxxing them and finding out the #MeToo movement against sexual where they lived. harassment and assault from a few years no less than President Halimah Yacob – Anecdotally, many women say they have herself a Malay/Muslim woman – who encountered sexual harassment of some issued a statement on her Facebook page kind at some point in their lives. and humbly apologise to all women for In a response to the controversy, Twitter their offensive, humiliating and misogynisuser @anygalien – whose tweet helped tic remarks on their podcasts about kick off the entire debacle – penned a piece women”. for online media outfit Coconuts entitled, ‘The Insidious Problem of Casual Sexism and Noting how COVID-19 lockdowns in Why I Called Out OKLETSGO’ under the countries around the world had resulted in name Nuri Jazuli. against women, Madam Halimah said: The podcast’s banter reminded her “too “If we continue to perpetuate the image of daily, involving casual sexism,” she wrote. back. much of the experiences (she) had almost purpose of male sexual gratification, then “It is normal for my sister and I to be we have to be held responsible for being catcalled by older Malay men while on one of the perpetrators of violence against our way to get groceries. It is normal for women.” male colleagues to talk about a woman’s body in explicit detail, in my presence. It is That same day, OLG said on their social normal for male relatives to lounge around media accounts: “We apologize for the during festivities while their female objectification of women and will be more counterparts are hard at work. It is careful in the way we portray matters normal that I do not know a single woman moving forward.” in my life who have not had an encounter misogyny in any way” and called on fans She was not surprised when her tweet not to make personal attacks against received backlash from both men and critics, noting that “we have always been women in the Malay community. She said. means taking responsibility for our “It seemed perfectly natural for people actions”. to be offended because, what I am While this perhaps draws the OLG a normal way of life, isn’t it?” misogyny within the Malay/Muslim A 2018 survey by United States-based community is far from over. nonprofit organisation, Stop Street MISOGYNY IS ALIVE AND WELL per cent of all women have faced sexual As already noted by others, OLG was not so harassment. with sexual assault in some form.” questioning and attacking, is after all, Harassment, suggests that as many as 81 rampant sexism, existing in day-to-day The numbers are sobering – the survey interactions and popular culture among found 51 per cent of respondents saying Malay/Muslims as well as the wider they had encountered unwanted sexual community. touching, with 27 per cent having gone

through sexual assault and 41 per cent magazine Juice, appropriately titled, encountering sexual harassment online. ‘Everything Wrong with Malay Dramas The argument can be made that one can listen or watch sexually lewd or crude And this is on top of the everyday media and not sexually harass or assault instances of casual sexism many women others, just as watching violent movies or might encounter regularly in their playing video games does not necessarily day-to-day lives. make one violent. think. In the June 22 episode, OLG host Dzar Former NBA star, Charles Barkley, other athletes – were not paid to be role Social learning theory, a term coined by As noted by others, misogyny – explicit or ‘punishment’ was getting raped not once, 2018 article on the website of pop culture That’s Deteriorating Our Society’. There are of course no easy answers, and I doubt the vast majority of OLG listeners despite our best efforts, the reality of will turn out to be molesters, for example. things is that – as is the case with other Yet it cannot be doubted that what we hunger – we are unlikely to ever see listen to, read and watch shape how we sexism completely eliminated. Ismail himself acknowledges their show For men, perhaps the simplest way is to was meant to emulate the provocative, start with ourselves, by recognising our no-holds-barred approach of American own prejudices and preconceptions radio and podcast hosts such as Howard regarding women and how we treat them, Stern and Joe Rogan, whom he listened to. see where we are lacking, and try to correct famously said in an early 1990s television This includes recognising misogyny and for sports brand Nike that he – and thus, sexism in the media for what they are. massive challenges like war, poverty and So what can we do? our own behaviour. models. OLG can and should continue to take an “open-minded approach” by featuring those Yet it is inevitable that people, especially on the margins, though, as noted in the impressionable children, emulate those we statement by Crit Talk, Beyond the Hijab and see in the media, whether consciously or Penawar, they should ensure “taboo or not. difficult subjects must be approached and Canadian-American psychologist Albert For Muslim men in particular, this means Bandura, posits that children and even going back to the example of the Prophet adults learn and imitate behaviour Muhammad, peace be upon him, who said observed in others including sexism and the best of men are those who are the best aggression. to their wives, and who in his last sermon otherwise – is unfortunately common in “O People, it is true that you have popular culture, even in ostensibly certain rights with regard to your conservative Malay culture. women, but they also have rights over A popular local Malay television drama them as your wives only under a trust featured a wayward daughter whose from God and with His permission.” facilitated with care and responsibility”. said: you. Remember that you have taken but twice over the course of two seasons. To their credit, the hosts of OLG said in an episode released on June 22 that they had The popular 2011 movie, Ombak Rindu, spoken to women’s rights groups, as well featured a protagonist who not only was as counsellors and victims of domestic raped, but begged to get married off to her abuse in an attempt to improve themselves rapist, eventually falling in love with him. and the show, and that they now Such examples of misogyny in popular responsibility” that came with their Malay culture are summed up nicely in a popularity. understood the “social and moral Perhaps the takeaway here is that all men should understand the social and moral responsibility they have to address misogyny in themselves, and in their spheres of influence.

Ahmad Abdullah holds a bachelor’s degree in English literature from Goldsmiths, University of London. He is a part-time writer.