The Messenger The Messenger
PARISH OF SAINT MARK REMUERA PARISH OF SAINT MARK August 2017 Parish website: www.stmarks.org.nz Editor: Debra Hall REMUERA A reflection from our Priest-in-Charge No need to leave your brain at the door I recently read a book about Brian Miller, a Dunedin stained glass artist whose work is to be found in churches all over New Zealand. Lavishly illustrated, this collection 1 is a stunning piece of work. One of the windows is in St John’s, Roslyn in Dunedin. The window is beautiful but what grabbed my attention was the explanatory note: ‘John’s Gospel is
the most literate and carefully reasoned of all the Gospels. We believe that intelligent, informed reasoning, as well as scripture, is a path towards the truth. St John’s is not a church where you need to leave your brain at the door. Neither is it a church where you put your soul in a box in the porch as you leave, and forget about God for the rest of the week.’ A similar claim could be made of St Mark’s: ‘a church where you do not need to leave your brain at the door.’ A day or two later I stumbled across an article on the web by an American writer. 2 A couple of years ago, she wrote, I took a friend who was not an Anglican to my church. She didn’t like it particularly! One of her chief complaints was that we said ‘other people’s prayers’. Reciting a prayer from the prayer book wasn’t really praying, she said. This debate is not a new one. When Evangelicals rail against ‘other people’s prayers’, which are not considered authentic, they do us an injustice. For centuries Christians have understood prayer as a learned way of approaching God. The earliest prayer book was the Psalms (used by Jesus) and these have been read, memorised and treasured in times of joy and sorrow. ‘The goal of praying the psalms daily is not vain repetition. It is the forming and shaping of human character’.
1 2
Brian Miller, Capturing Light: Roy Miller, New Zealand Stained Glass Artist 1915-1981, Dunedin: Lifelogs Ltd, 2016. Tish Harrison Warren, By the Book.
The fact is we need ’other people’s prayers’ to teach us this craft. When the disciples found Jesus praying ‘alone in a solitary place’ they asked him to teach them to pray. Note that he didn’t tell them it’s easy - just say whatever comes to mind - he taught them the Lord’s Prayer, a pattern of prayer to shape their own prayer habits. There are many great prayers and our Book of Common Prayer and its successors have become treasures of devotion. These prayer practices do not just shape our prayers or worship; they shape us. They form us into people who move differently through the world. These inherited prayers shape us when we are tired or distracted or when our mind is blank. Yours in Christ Noel Derbyshire
A prayer for a New Vicar As we move into the process of finding a new Vicar for St Marks, we will all be praying that the right person is called to lead our Parish in our mission to Know Christ and Make Christ Known. Please join with us in praying this prayer for our New Vicar.
Shepherd of souls, give to your Church in this parish a priest after your own heart, a person of faith and prayer, filled with your Spirit; of vision, wisdom and sound judgment; and with a pastoral heart and a true love for people. Prepare this person for their ministry among us, and prepare us for their coming, that in all things, your will may be done and your name glorified; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. 2
Update on finding our new Vicar A Parish meeting was held on Sunday 31st July, led by Rev Carole Hughes, the Archdeacon leading our process to find a new vicar. Carole led a group of some 40 parishioners in attendance through a series of discussions, focused on confirming the ministry priorities for the Parish, and defining the characteristics we are seeking in our new Vicar. Debra Hall presented the draft Parish profile, based on the detailed input of previous discussions with parishioners, and a lot of work from a committee of Vestry members. The meeting approved the profile draft, with minor amendments and authorised Vestry to approve the final version. The profile is available from the Parish Office, and can be emailed to you or printed out for you on request. Carole explained that the a ‘selection committee’ – the ‘nominators’ – will be formed to review the applications for the role of Vicar of St Mark’s, comprising herself, two Diocesan representatives, and three representatives of St Mark’s. She introduced the two Diocesan representatives – Rev Clare Barrie, and Rod Oram – and called for nominations for the St Mark’s representatives. Six people were nominated, resulting in a ballot which returned Gae Griffiths, Elizabeth Driver and Debra Hall as our nominators to represent us in the selection process. Please add our nominators to your prayers as they work with the Diocese to consider applications, interview candidates and ultimate to make a recommendation to the Bishop for the appointment. Meanwhile, if you have any thoughts, input or concerns, please do not hesitate to contact your Wardens. Christine Koefoed (People’s Warden) Peter Allen (Vicar’s Warden)
Christine.Koefoed@bdo.co.nz peterjallen@xtra.co.nz
In case of emergency A big THANK YOU to the Remuera Lions, who, in addition to the defibrillator donated to St. Marks a few months back, have also donated a pillow and blanket should anyone need to lie down after a medical event. These are stored in a plastic box located under the pew in the reception area of the Parish Centre. 3
Choir Corner Brian Millar, Director of Music A quieter time of year for the choir; Easter and Pentecost over, Christmas still a hundred shopping days away….. And at this time of year a few choir members head north of the equator for a holiday in warmer climes. But! There remain choir members enough (but not to spare! – see Luke 15:17) to maintain the standards of Choral Eucharist and Choral Evensong. Our priest-in-charge Noel seems to enjoy themed services; so coming up we have Sea Sunday; Social Services Sunday; Bible Sunday; All Saints; Remembrance Sunday; and we haven’t even got to December (Advent, Nine Lessons, Midnight Christmas Eve, Christmas morning….). Oh, and did I mention an animal/pets service? All quite right and absolutely proper that we celebrate these events; but a downside for your already follicularly challenged D.o.M. is that appropriate hymns and other music have to be especially chosen….. So as you come and join in these lovely occasions, have a wee reflective pause as you listen to the choir, and as you sing the songs of praise at these services have a closer look at the words as we sing. Enough preaching! September 24th will see the choir singing Evensong at Holy Trinity Dargaville. Some of you may remember Brendon Wilkinson worshipping with us a few years ago as he was finishing his St John’s theology studies; Brendon is now priest in charge at Holy Trinity Dargaville and we look forward to renewing old friendships. As I write I’m also well under way choosing Christmas and Advent music (in spite of my first paragraph, I quite enjoy the challenge of finding music suitable for a specific occasion; and December is no exception!). So lots of varied music coming up between now and the end of 2017; and while the choir will be present at these services helping the congregation - however many or few - to worship in song, for some reason the choir always sings better when there is a good number of regulars and guests in the pews…….
4
Coming up in our Parish life August 13 Sea Sunday. An annual opportunity for those at sea, praying for safety for seafarers. This will be the theme at both morning services but at 9.30 we will dip into the treasure house of special music of the Sea and Ships. August 27 Social Services Sunday. Our own Nicky Christie will tell us about the Anglican Trust for Women & Children (ATWC), one of the major social service agencies of the Diocese of Auckland. St Mark’s has long supported its work. September 7-9 St Mark’s will be represented at the annual diocesan synod by Nicky Christie and Elizabeth Driver, and the licensed clergy. September 17 Parishioners are invited to come along to Evensong at 5pm to share ‘An Evening with George Herbert’, listed in our NZ Prayer Book as the patron saint of all saintly parish priests, but perhaps better known as the writer of some of our most treasured hymns. How does George Herbert shape up against the sort of priest we seek as our new vicar! Would he get the job? October 14 Parish Fair – put up your hand now to help out, beforehand and on the day! More later in this newsletter. October 15 October marks the 100th anniversary of the Battle of Passchendaele, the most disastrous day in New Zealand’s military history. There were about 3700 New Zealand casualties. They included about 950 men who were either dead or mortally wounded; 842 men are officially listed as dying on 12 October, and the rest succumbed to their wounds in field ambulances and hospitals behind the lines. It is undoubtedly, in terms of lives lost in a single day, the blackest day in New Zealand’s history. At Evensong, ‘we will remember them.’ 5
GARAGE SALE on SATURDAY 14 OCTOBER We need YOUR help!
Our annual Garage Sale / Church Fair is a major fund raiser for the Parish, enabling us to do more in our Parish and in our Community.
We need your STUFF! Please start to compile any spare items in good condition or unused goods you are willing to donate to this fundraiser and community outreach Event. Clothes, toys, furniture, kitchenware, antiques, jewellery, ornaments and general knick-knacks! No Books please. All goods to be in usable condition – this is NOT an opportunity to dispose of your actual junk that is only fit for the tip! Ideally bring them to the Parish Centre on Thursday and Friday 12th and 13th October. If you want to donate earlier please contact Diana in the office.
We need your TIME and your HANDS on deck! A Garage Sale doesn’t happen on its own. We need people to help set up and man the stalls. We’d appreciate all hands on deck on Friday 13 October to set up and on the Saturday morning of 14 October. Please give your names to Diana if you are willing to help. The fair will run from 8am to 12noon, in the Parish Centre.
6
Do you love music and children? Mainly Music needs your help!
Mainly Music has been running for about 5 years at St Mark's, on Monday mornings in the Parish Lounge. For many young parents, it offers an opportunity to get out of the house, meet other parents, caregivers and may even an occasional grandparent – an hour of respite from the endless task of parenting that young children present. This is a fun music group for preschoolers, with half an hour of music and dancing. The Mainly Music franchise is a Christian one and they provide us with the music resources. While not all the songs reference Christianity, the organisation stipulates that we include at least 3 'God' songs each session, and we do some more overt teaching of the gospel story at Easter and Christmas. The action songs, many involving props and instruments, are important for coordination and cognitive development, and the social interaction the group provides is another benefit for young children and caregivers alike. Since setting up this programme, we have come to see that it is an important form of community outreach that serves many regulars, who have made it part of their weekly routine, as well as newcomers - indeed, the almost weekly appearance of newcomers tells us that the Remuera/Newmarket community is home to many young families. We need your help to show these young families a true St Mark’s welcome, and encourage them to become part of our Parish. Like all group activities, Mainly Music needs a dedicated team to make it happen. Right now, Elizabeth Driver and Joel Carpenter are leading the group, and Gillian Clarke (following Liz Somervaille) has been our morning tea stalwart, but with Joel's imminent departure and uncertainty about Elizabeth’s availability, we are in need of support going forward. It’s not hard – Elizabeth and Joel will show you the ropes. It would be a real shame if as a Parish we couldn’t continue to provide this community outreach to young families in our midst. If this is something that you think you could become involved with, in any capacity, we would love to hear from you. Elizabeth Driver (edriver03@gmail.com) 7
What’s been happening in the Parish? A large group of Parishioners attended Rev Anne Mills' investiture as Dean at the Holy Trinity Cathedral in Parnell, very much enjoying a thoughtful service, and particularly the youth group ‘band’ from St Marks!
Our lay minister Trevor Brooker recently visited long time faithful parishioner Val Adams, finding her in good spirits, and with a new friend, Coco, the resthome cat! Many of us miss Val’s thoughtful commentary on the readings of the week in the pew sheet, and will be pleased to see her looking so cheerful.
On 7th May, a large group of 28 parishioners set off for a ‘train excursion’ to Huntly – by all accounts a good time was had by all. Thanks to Trevor Brooker for arranging the group, and encouraging people from across our congregation to participate. 8
Fun and dancing at Mainly Music
Fun in our beautiful Church!
9
Book Reviews Remember that we have a well stocked library in the Parish Centre. You’re welcome to borrow books for interest and inspiration – just fill in the card!
“Slipping the Moorings”
by Richard Randerson CNZM
Reviewed by Annabelle Couldwell
Richard Randerson has served the Anglican church for over fifty years, in New Zealand, Great Britain and the U.S.A. Richard has been an industrial chaplain, inner city priest, social justice officer, royal commissioner, bishop and cathedral dean. Now retired and living in Wellington, Richard continues to write and speak on matters of faith as it relates to his areas of concern. This book outlines Richard’s life and ministry and particularly his efforts to assist Christians seeking reasons and answers from the church in relation to the defining issues of our times. In his memoir, Richard deals with the most profound questions about God and the connection we make as Christians to life, love and as agents for the wellbeing of humanity and our world. He has placed himself in the thick of many of the social battles that have substantially changed our lives from a past of acceptance to the current times of turbulence and questioning. His life’s work has been to provide wisdom and practical advice to those seeking help from God to manage an array of issues from the ordination of women, once frowned upon by the church, to same sex marriage, contemporary theology, inequality and poverty. In attempting to deal with these issues in his own ministry he has provided an insight into the practical application of mission in his work and in assisting society through the profound changes of the last fifty years. The memoir is engaging and affirming, valuable for the wisdom Richard provides and the insight into the church’s role during these five decades of change.
10
“Being Mortal”
by Dr Arul Gawande
Reviewed by Annabelle Couldwell
The author of four books, Dr Arul Gawande is a surgeon at Boston Brigham and Women’s Hospital. Gawande brings a deeply humanitarian attitude to his work and writing, seeking to engage his readers with important questions relating to the impact of modern medicine on their lives. He believes that this impact has at times been not only negative but, especially with regard to aging and the end of life, at times providing a horrible end. Gawanda offers many anecdotes and personal encounters in his thought provoking examination of the real needs of people at the end of their lives and how to improve medical understanding of the realities of mortality. This is a book that promotes hard thinking about our own lives and what we would want for our own demise. He suggests that aging at home and living to the end with dignity, autonomy and joy provides a much more satisfying conclusion to a life well lived than an over-medicalised often painful death in hospital. This book not only makes us look at the topical issues facing our aging populations today, it is also a plea to doctors and nurses and all of us to shift away from fighting for an ever longer life towards fighting for the things that give life dignity and meaning. A moving and clear-eyed look at how we age and what death means in our society, Gawande offers us a real alternative when faced with the terminal phase of illness, allowing the important qualities of life to remain. “Being Mortal” is an inspirational and humane examination of the issues we face, when we seek to find comfort and meaning at the “other end” of our lives.
If you are on Facebook, please join us at the ‘real’ St Marks, which you will find at @StMarksRemuera.
11
Food for thought on how we grow St Mark’s As we have worked over the past few months to review our goals, our wishes, our prayers for the Parish of St Mark’s, a constant theme of growth, of reaching out, of bringing others in has emerged. As we have noted in previous Messengers, our Parish is shrinking – but this is not unique to us. We hear from our fellow Anglicans around New Zealand that many parishes are in a far worse position than us – and a simple search online will uncover a mass of discussion, debate and writings about the size of church communities. While not an Anglican view, it is interesting to see how this debate is unfolding in some of the Christian communities in the US, linking how the size of a church is from their perspective, inextricably linked to the model of pastoral care that the pastor (their ‘vicar’) and their congregation puts in place. This blog by US Pastor Carey Nieuwhof, entitled How Pastoral Care Stunts the Growth of Most Churches 3 summarises one person’s opinion on the matter. (Note: abridged for this publication – see full blog on link below)
Carey writes
“Of all the mysteries that shouldn’t be mysteries, why most churches remain small is perhaps the greatest. … The Barna group reports the average Protestant church size in America as 89 adults. 60% of protestant churches have less than 100 adults in attendance. Only 2% have over 1000 adults attending. …today I want to drill down deeper on one that kills almost every church and pastor: pastoral care. If pastors could figure out how to better tackle the issue of pastoral care, I’m convinced many more churches would grow. When the pastor has to visit every sick person, do every wedding and funeral and make regular house calls, attend every meeting, and lead every bible study or group, he or she becomes incapable of doing almost anything else. Message preparation falls to the side, and providing organizational leadership for the future is almost out of the question. The pastoral care model of church leadership simply doesn’t scale. It’s somewhat ironic, actually.
3
https://careynieuwhof.com/how-pastoral-care-stunts-the-growth-of-most-churches/
12
If you’re a good pastoral care person (and many pastors are), people will often love you so much that the church will grow to two hundred people, at which point the pastoral care expectations become crushing. Inevitably, pastoral leaders with larger churches can’t keep up and end up disappointing people when they can’t get to every event any more. Caring for 30 people personally is possible. Caring for 230 is not. The pastor is frustrated that he or she can’t keep up. And the congregation is frustrated over the same thing. Several other factors make pastoral care complicated. Many pastors I know are people-pleasers by nature. Wanting to not disappoint people fuels conflict within leaders: people want you to care for them, and you hate to disappoint them. In some respect, pastoral care establishes classic co-dependency. The congregation relies on the pastor for all of its care needs, and the pastor relies on the congregation to provide their sense of worth and fulfilment: the pastor needs to be needed. Many congregations define the success of their leader according to how available, likeable and friendly their pastor is. It’s as though churches want a puppy, not a pastor. Since when did that become the criteria for effective Christian leadership? By that standard, Moses, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, Hosea, the Apostle Paul and perhaps even Jesus failed the test. The goal of Christian leadership is to lead, not to be liked. If a church is going to grow, congregations have to let go of the expectation that their pastor will be available for every medical emergency, every twist and turn in their lives, every family celebration and every crisis. That’s a tough sell for many congregations, but if a church is going to grow, it has to happen. So how do you deal with this? The best answer I know of for pastoral care in a larger church is to teach people to care for each other in groups. Groups based care isn’t just practical. It’s biblical. It’s thoroughly biblical: going back to Exodus 18, when Jethro confronted Moses about doing everything himself. Even Jesus adopted the model of group 13
care, moving his large group of hundreds of disciples into groups of seventy, twelve, three, and then one. I have been the pastoral care giver in a small church. … here’s what I’ve come to believe about pastoral care: 98% of pastoral care is having someone who cares. It doesn’t have to be the pastor. Courageous leadership is like courageous parenting. Don’t do what your kids want you to do; do what you believe is best for them in the end. Eventually, many of them will thank you. And the rest? Honestly, they’ll probably go to another church that isn’t reaching a lot people either. I’m convinced that if we changed how we do pastoral care, we’d reach more people. And in the process, we’d care for people much better than we do now. The debate about engaging more parishioners in home groups, in pastoral care, has already started at St Mark’s. Do join in by sharing our views.
Community outreach My 2017 Lenten Mission Annabelle Couldwell
As many of you will know because you helped, this year during Lent I decided to extend myself out into a mission to help those less fortunate than myself. By default Clive as my husband came along and helped me. Each week I had a “Tuesday charity” to help in a variety of ways. The first week we made a large number of filled rolls, bought a bag of apples, and took ourselves out in the car to find anyone begging in the streets of Newmarket and Queen Street. Hardly any - they must have all known it was going to pour with rain! Considerably wet and with lots of filled rolls left, we made our way to the City Mission and gave the food to a larger number of grateful people inside. However, the few people we did meet in the streets were also grateful for the food and the conversation and I learnt a good lesson - that just because people are reduced by their circumstances, does not mean they are not a valid part of society. Subsequent weeks we were lucky to enlist the help of others in the parish to provide afternoon tea to the local police, ambulance, fire officers and to residents at the Anglican Mission for Women and Children. The SPCA also benefitted from animal and human food! 14
There is a feel good factor doing this type of mission and being thanked is a large part of this. However, more importantly, my attitude to the homeless has changed for the better. I now attempt to engage with those I see asking for money in the street. I no longer walk by because I am no longer afraid of them. One man, who has been living under the Newmarket over-bridge in a tent while undergoing treatment for pancreatic cancer, hugged me with gratitude, not because I gave him money or food (I actually didn’t have any on me), but because he said “You treat me like another human, and it makes me feel part of society again�. Just a simple conversation, a caring thought, made all the difference. I went back with food and money but he had gone. This mission has benefitted me as much as those I sought to help.
Winter Care Packages "Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did it for me" Matthew 25:40 Inspired by a grassroots care package project seen on an American chat show that distributes to the homeless in Los Angeles, we have been making up our own care packages for disadvantaged women Making the drawstring cloth bags! in our city this winter. These are going to be distributed at pampering days run through the Auckland City Mission. Each pack is a drawstring cloth bag containing a number of essential toiletries, items such as a toothbrush and toothpaste, tissues and deodorant - things that we probably take for granted every day. We raised some initial funds through a morning tea stall held at the St John's College ethical market day in June and from there advertised in the pew sheet for donations of items or money for the cause. We have been overwhelmed by the support from all of you for this project and will let you know the outcome. As of mid-July we are just past a third of our ambitious target of 100 packages why not offer what we have and see what God can do!? If you would like to add your care to the homeless women of Auckland, please leave your donation at the Parish office, or contact us for more information about how you can contribute.
Elizabeth Driver and Hinemoa Carpenter 15
From the Registers May – July 2017
Joined together in Marriage Aaron Gate & Kirstie Pooley Matthew Stretton & Amanda Nakarmi Louisa Timu & Sione Tapeavalu Richard Hall & Brittany Matthews Luke Woodford & Frances Young Committed to God’s Care John Cropper Sinclair Allan Margaret Kingston Una Tunnicliffe Frances Creagh Shonah Maslen Elizabeth Ross Joan Freeman
Fae England Joy Whitney Dorothy Grave Roland (Pat) Towle Felicia Broadfoot Duncan Hamilton Daphne Drower Mary (Molly) Allan
Parish Contact Details: Priest in Charge:
The Reverend Noel Derbyshire
09 537 3407
Assistant Priest:
The Reverend David Steele
09 575 3106
Associate Clergy:
The Reverend James Withers
021 239 1800
The Reverend Bob Driver
09 849 3538
Director of Music: Brian Millar Lay Minister:
021 253 1437
Trevor Brooker
021 614 227
The Anglican Parish of Saint Mark, Remuera. Telephone: 09 520 2258 Email: office@stmarks.org.nz Website: www.stmarks.org.nz
16