THIS NEW EDEN
ALPHA The story of the expulsion from the Garden of Eden has always intrigued me ever since childhood. I'm sure everyone knows how it goes. How Eve was tempted by the serpent to eat of the Tree of Knowledge. And then convinced Adam that he should do the same. It's seen as the first fall from grace and, in Christian learning, the point to which all sin can be traced. We lived in harmony up to that point. Or a sort of shielded ignorance where nothing scarred. But with that one bite, with that knowledge, Eve realised she was naked. Eve realised she was woman. It could be argued that this story perpetuates the myth that are bodies are shameful. Through enlightenment we realised our bodies should be hidden at all times. We began to fear. I don't think I've ever fallen out of the sight of God. I stopped going to church shortly after my dad died. It wasn't that I hated God for it happening. Or that I lost faith as such. I'd still probably describe myself as hopefully sceptic. I just found the church at the time such a cold and harsh place. And the love that it professed didn't seem to extend to the people of my kind. Could I live a lie? My heart said no so I looked around for alternatives. I began seeing power in the words that I wrote and the art of the everyday. My dad’s death left me alone to be me and explore other things that were said to be forbidden. It made me look closer at myself as a person and immediate environment. Could this change me or give me a better understanding of who I was?
'This New Eden' is an extended version of a zine I create called 'Wild'. I'd started writing about my naked body in terms of its shape and landscape. I also wanted to talk about how its form was changing over time. It seemed like a natural progression to also talk about my surroundings. How was I connected to both the concrete and green spaces? Did they have different effects on me? I began to take myself off the beaten track. Not so much in forced isolation but to see where I would go when not restricted. It made me feel both vital and insignificant. But it also gave me chance to reset and refocus. As someone who is never sure of himself it was about overcoming fear. Not caring what I may find and just wanting to explore. To see different colours. And see what and who I could leave behind. I've found so much recently. The only things I believe I've lost in the process are dead branches. 'This New Eden' is set in my hometown of Brierfield. The place is named after the brambles that extensively covered the area at the time. As such this book is equally green fable or origin story. The autobiography of a kid from nowhere and what he did to feel alive later in life. How the mills and the motorway brought, took away and altered both the people and the landscape. Turned us to drugs and disorder. Left us wanting more. Expansion made us want to see what was on the other side of the valley. Mate with other people outside of our blood. It changed our genes. Some may call this a necessary evolution. To realise that in being safe we were dying emotionally. For me art became my new faith. It offered survival. It soothed my soul and killed the demons. It's helped me make sense of my feelings.
The photos here were taken over three consecutive days 25th27th May in secluded woodland close to Pendle Water. There is a certain thrill in going to places where no-one had been in decades. Seeing what it inspires. But for me, like being in a bustling city centre, it also brings a frantic energy. I can only stay for so long before I feel I am not welcome. Is it any wonder that these places are the stuff of fairy tales? Places that are deemed malignant and where children go missing. What we often forget though are that those stories are often about how we succeed through disobedience. How we need to take risks. Similarly, I never see Eve's casting out as a negative thing. It wasn't done out of annoyance but because God knew she would feel caged. He knew that she would need to hear different voices and travel further afield. Maybe we all need to follow on in her footsteps from time to time? SAN BRIERFIELD JUNE 2020
OMEGA It's a question he often asked Which came first, God or nature? Did the latter inspire the need for answers? This cannot just have happened by chance? There must be a greater power? Something in control that we need to worship Bow down before subserviently He walked through the woods not in awe of God but of its power to control him As though it's emotions seeped through by natural osmosis It's anger as the nettles stung his pale skin It's love as the leaves cast branded shadow across his torso - you are one of us He found it suffocating He found it intoxicating He was never sure if it was his idea of hell - each of his senses being overwhelmed Or a version of heaven - somewhere he could just be Somewhere without judgement Somewhere where time didn't seem to exist Somewhere where his appearance didn't matter Somewhere where he didn't matter It's a question he often asked Which came first, faith or sin The desire for something to believe in unassumingly A doctrine he was willing to die for and become martyr But there was always that desire to break the rules To become immoral and without boundaries He knew as human he's always walked uneasily between the two And that was part of the mystery - the choices and chances Would he go to a place from which he couldn't return? Would it scar or change him beyond recognition? Would he become shadow of self? Now though he would throw caution to the wind What could faith bring expect fear and a static life? Through his sins he would discover who he really was Through his sins he would be seen differently Maybe it would release the chains of other people? Make them take off their masks He felt like Eve finding knowledge in Eden Everything had become clear and present Everything now would sparkle like the stars
#LockdownExhibition5 Theme: ‘Nature’
For my mum and dad who led me part of the way: Mary Nicholas 1929-2004 John Nicholas 1930-2009 Love to Sophie for the inspiration. And to everyone else who took me further. Took me to places I didn't believe I could go.
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