Dulwich Hamlet FC

Paul Barnes no longer warms the hallowed bench in Champion Hill’s pizzaparlour liveried dugout. After a spirited start under his clement tutelage, the new-year slump surpassed even the most cheerless Cassandra’s prophesies, with the team careering down the league like a roundel of Gloucester cheese hurtling towards the stygian depths of the relegation zone. So sadly Paul has now parted company with The Pink and Blues, no doubt (and we sincerely hope) to thrive with a new team in the future.

What stripe of lionheart then could possibly steady the good ship Toscana, pep and pump up the club’s morale and propel East Dulwich’s Finest towards the nirvana of midtable mediocrity? Lumber forward ex-Maidstone gaffer and no-nonsense non-league enforcer the mighty Hakan Hayrettin. Now we read that “Hakan” is a name historically bestowed on the ancient overlords and emperors of the Anatolian steppe. And to watch Hakan prowling the touchline - shoulders as wide as he is tall, brow furrowed like the lava soil of Lanzarote - is to see a commanding colossus dedicated to doing the dirty work necessary to keep the Sons of Edgar Kail in the National South. To paraphrase the Iron Duke, we don’t know what Sherriff Hakman does to the opposition, but he sure scares the bejesus out of us.

So how is he doing? Pretty well as your writer writes. Hakan’s first game was a stirring 1-0 victory over an estimable St Albans side. And while the new style Hamlet was bested away at Chelmsford, they returned to the verdant slopes of SE22 to steal a 2-1 win over a stalwart Havant and Waterlooville side. At full time the ecstatic new gaffer rumbled towards the crowd uppercutting the air repeatedly (less Klopp, more Foreman felling Frazier), to the delight of a giddy and boisterous Rabble assembled behind the Greendale goal. Oh the absolute thrill of it all. Now you simply must get yourself down Edgar Kail Way to see the end of season run-in at this squeakiest derriere of times. The good news is there’s a glut of nail-biting home games in April to enjoy, all it transpires against fellow strugglers: with Cheshunt on 7th April, Taunton 15th, Concord 25th and (last game of the season) Chippenham on the 29th. The Hamlet need every bit of sustenance and succour the swaggering dandy denizens of South East London can muster. So splash out at the club’s online shop (https:// dhst.org.uk) and glom yourself as much pink and blueness as you can before heading to The Hill. Your football club needs you.

Meanwhile the Dulwich Hamlet Women’s team continue to serve up some spicy stuff. Their ascent of the league continues steady with hopes Horniman high of a top half finish. But this year it’s all about the cup. The Combined Counties

Midweek Women’s Cup to be precise, where The Daughters of Edgar Kail beat Ebbsfleet 7-6 on penalties after the game finished all square, thereby progressing to the quarter finals. Equal in thrills to that World Cup Final thing we watched before Christmas. The Women play on Sundays primarily and in April they will welcome AFC Acorns (7th), Ebbsfleet (9th) and Dartford on the 23rd. Up the Hakan and up The Hamlet.

BabyBallet

The award winning movement to music, dance & singing programme for boys and girls from 6 months upwards run with a fun, safe and caring environment. Classes in Dulwich. Call Stephanie 07809 148348 | www.babyballet.co.uk.

Boppin Bunnies

Interactive Music class for under 5’s led by professional musicians. Monday mornings 9:30am, 10:15am & 11am. Punk Me Up Ceramics Cafe. 34 East Dulwich Road, SE22 9AX www.boppinbunnies.co.uk.

Diddi Dance

Funky pre-school dance classes for girls and boys. Learn coordination, rhythm and great moves to funky songs and boost confidence. Classes in East Dulwich, Anne-Marie for a free trial 07973 982790 | www.diddidance.com.

District & Dulwich Twins Club

Baby and Toddler Group every Friday 10am-12pm (turn up at any time!), at Peckham Rye Playrooms (SE corner of the Rye). It is for multiples only, but you do not have to be a member of the club to attend. BYO coffee cup! www.ddtwinsclub.org.

HartBeeps

Mondays at Christ Church, 263 Barry Road, East Dulwich, SE22 0JT. 10am Happy House, 11am Baby Beeps & 12.15pm Baby Bells. Fridays at Ewart Community Hub, 44 Wastdale Road, SE23 1HN .10am Happy House, 11am Baby Beeps & 12.15pm Baby Bells. http://hartbeeps.com

Little Superhero Training

Practice your Superhero moves! Discover Superhero fun facts! Any Little Heroes, Boys and Girls aged 2 - 5, Come along for a FREE taster session. Mondays & Fridays (term time only) St Barnabas Parish Hall, 23 Dulwich Village, SE21 7BT. Contact Lucy 07813 791757 | lucy@littleherocompany.com www.littleherocompany.com

Lucy Sparkles

Outstanding music, drama and dance classes and parties for young children. Fun classes where children engage with singing, movement and live music whilst enhancing learning through developing physical, emotional and intellectual skills. Tues, Weds & Fri classes for different age groups/ themes. sarah@lucysparkles.com | 07929 784 719

Nibble Arts

Are you looking for flexible 8:00 - 6:30pm school holiday childcare? We still have lots of places available at Goodrich Primary SE22 from 4th birthday to 11 - our unique creative childcare lets children explore a brandnew adventure through up to 4 creative workshops a day with industry professionals for February Half-term 14th - 18th Feb!

Children are looked after in key groups of 10 for a really personalised experience and you can request that they are grouped with friends who are also attending. We are Ofsted approved and you can book in advance up to the end of Summer Holidays 2022 1-5 days a week using childcare vouchers, tax-free childcare, card or instalment plans from £54/day. Where else can you be on video chat to an Arctic explorer live from Svalbard University one day, and meeting Sophie the giant animatronic T-Rex the next? For the full timetable and to book visit www.nimblearts.co.uk/how-our-clubs-work visit www.nimblearts.co.uk/how-our-clubs-work

Mini Athletics (SE London)

Winning the gold medal for children’s sports classes! Start your child’s fantastic journey in athletic development, designed for toddlers up to children of 7 years old. All through a fun play-based format. To try us out, contact Sam: 07811787153 | smcdermott@miniathletics.com www.miniathletics.com

Sing and Sign

Monday - Saturday. 020 7193 3696 | www.singandsign.com

Sparkle Music

Carefully structured and fun music classes for babies, toddlers and pre-school children in SE22. Check the website for current classes. Contact : anna@sparkle-music.co.uk. | 0771 1238352

Sunday Spot

Free, artist-led workshops for families at South London Gallery, 65-67 Peckham Road SE5, on the last Sunday of every month. For children aged 5–12 years with their parents & carers. Pre-booking advisable. www.southlondongallery.org

Our children’s activities pages have been popular for years and now they are back! If you run a class in any of these areas, then advertising in these pages are just for you. Each magazine has 5,000 copies which are hand-delivered every month. You can choose to go for 5, 10 or 15,000 copies, it is totally up to you. Contact Angela: angela@semagazines.co.uk for a rate card.