Mindset Matters

With Becca Teers | www.healthy-habits.me | www.mindplus-experience.com

How to Deal with Your Emotions and Stay Calm & Positive

It’s human nature to not want to feel pain (emotional or physical pain) and this is why we often prefer to ‘bottle up’ negative emotions rather than feeling them and expressing them. Another aspect of this is that many of us have grown up without being shown how to express our emotions in a healthy way and so we can become afraid of them. We’re scared of a bad reaction or confrontation when we do say how we feel. We may also have learnt to believe certain emotions are ‘wrong’, such as anger, fear, dissapointment, sadness or jelousy. The truth is these emotions are natural and normal and they just need acknowledging (even just to yourself) to become ‘unstuck’, allowing you to release them and feel better.

What happens to suppressed emotions?

We push our feelings down but by doing this they don’t go away. They sit beneath the surface and can affect us negatively in different ways. Our emotions are held in the subconscious part of the mind: the part that is not under our conscious control. If we don’t identify them and release them they tend to fester and can be unhealthy for us. For example, if you’re upset about something a partner has said or done and you don’t acknowledge these feelings in a healthy way, you may become more and more resentful and this can affect your relationship negatively. Using this example you may only need to identify these feelings just for yourself and assess whether you do need to express them to the person involved, or not on this occasion. But if you don’t even articulate these emotions to yourself, you’re not really dealing with them at all.

How do we push our feelings down?

We may use distractions like overeating, drinking alcohol, drugs, watching TV, excessive work or shopping to prevent us facing unwanted feelings. These distractions work in the short-term but suppressing and not dealing with negative emotions can put stress on both the mind and body in the long-term. This can result in anxiety, depression, insomnia and physical symptoms like stomach issues, headaches, neck and shoulder tension and pain.

You need to feel it to heal it

Here’s a simple tool for acknowledging your feelings and in doing so they become ‘felt’ and will simply pass. This is a super-simple way to acknowledge and process an emotion in order to let it go so that it no longer affects you.

Thought/Emotion Interrupter

It is best to write this down, but you can also just run through the process in your head if it is not possible to get pen and paper out! By acknowledging the thought/feeling rather than trying to push it down or letting it take over, it will be processed & released. The second part of this technique allows you to identify an alternative positive feeling, which starts to train the brain to be more positive and resourceful. Fill in the blanks below when you are feeling triggered;

1) “I am feeling.......................................................................................

because ..................................................................................................... ”

Stay with the feeling for a couple of minutes and breathe. Now the turnaround, which gives you the opportunity to identify and feel an alternative or more helpful (or even just a neutral) way to think about something:

2) “I would prefer to feel................................................................

and feeling this way will allow me to .......................................................................................................................... “

If, like many of us processing your feelings is a new habit just practice this tool whenever you need it. The habit will become easier and more natural the more you do it. Realise that by developing this new behaviour you are looking after your mental and physical health and also improving your relationship with yourself and others.

MUSIC SCHOLARSHIP LESSONS

The SE22 Piano School is currently offering online Piano Lessons and Music Theory Lessons. We can also help young musicians prepare for the upcoming Music Scholarships to Kingsdale, Habs and

Prendergast. We have years of experience helping students secure scholarship places. Get in touch to discuss how we can help you prepare for the audition, interview and Music Aptitude Tests that take place in Autumn 2020.

Lockdown portrait project from East Dulwich documentary family photographer Irma Arrowsmith

Local East Dulwich documentary family photographer Irma Arrowsmith found she was really missing everything she loved about her job once the COVID-19 pandemic caused the UK lockdown and led to the postponement of her shoots. Wanting to stay creatively challenged, she began to think about ways to keep herself busy - while still taking the current safety measures into consideration. That’s when she decided to reach out to the local East Dulwich community to see if families would be interested in a free ‘lockdown portrait’ to document this extraordinary moment in their lives. All the participating families are getting Irma’s photos of them for free - as her way of saying thank you for their participation and as a small gesture of solidarity in these strange times. As well as allowing her to stay creatively challenged, her Life in Lockdown project also helps keep her in contact with people - something else that she misses now we’re all cooped up at home. “It’s one of the privileges of being a family photographer that you meet so many different, interesting and lovely people - even if this now has to be from at least two metres away!” All the portraits in Life in Lockdown are taken of local families who live within a half hour walk of Lordship Lane - as Irma is fitting the shoots in as part of her daily exercise allowance. The photos are taken on their doorstep or balcony, in their garden or yard, or at a window - and always from a safe minimum distance of two metres.