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ANGELIC LEXINGTON
S EPTEMB ER 201 6
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EDITOR LETTER ALMOS T ONE YEAR
I
almost moved to Nashville last year. It was August of 2015 and we made an announcement on social media that Angelic Magazine was relocating from our base on the west coast to Nashville. But when I was in Nashville preparing myself to move, something happened. Lexington did, and here we are a year later from me almost moving to Nashville and we're 1 issue shy of our year anniversary of launching Angelic's Lexington community issue. This is my last time leading our Lexington issue, it's a goodbye of sorts in my editor position and a little bittersweet. But, when I was in Nashville, a year ago, Lexington flashed before me and I knew then it was for a very specific purpose. I'm not saying goodbye to Lexington though, I'm following through on that specific purpose. In God's timing that purpose is coming to fruition and Lexington is a part of this purpose. Our LEX community issue was a prelude to bigger things. For nearly a year I've poured myself into doing this Lexington issue while not ever living with you there, I stayed on the west coast, but we've assembled a team there now. Lauren, Andrea and Allison. Collectively we have hopes and goals and dreams for you, Lexington. Our next Lexington issue, I have given the keys to these 3 girls to shape, design and create our Lexington issue so that I can follow through on that specific purpose that was shown to me a year ago. The one year anniversary for our Lexington issue will be out in November and we have so much in store. --
Jesse Anaya
Courage PHOTOGRAPHY BY MALLORY JOHNSON MODEL
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JENNA JOHNSON
LOCATION
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LEXINGTON
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KY
COURAGE, DEAR HEART. "RUN TO JESUS WITH ALL YOUR WORRIES, ALL YOUR DOUBTS, FEARS, AND ALL YOUR INSECURITIES. "
Y
B Y MALLORY JOHNSON ou may think your situation is permanent. And why not? You’ve been here a long time. You don’t see how you could ever rise higher. All the facts are telling you it’s impossible. That hollow feeling deep down in your heart starts to wear on you and your soul starts gasping for air in an attempt to catch a wisp of comfort… well, I am here to tell you, you are not just somebody; you are chosen. Where you are is not permanent. God has explosive blessings coming your way. He has brought you here to this very moment in your life for a reason. And all these moments you’re experiencing right now? They will work together for the good, I promise. We must be expectant and waiting for the Lord’s goodness. We must be diligent, obedient, and expecting. Ask yourself, Am I ready? Dear Heart, Please get ready, because when He, The Lord, deems it is the right time, His plan for you will fall into place so perfectly you’ll wonder why you ever doubted in the first place. What an amazing feeling it is to know that the best days of your life haven’t even happened yet—just thinking about this truth has my soul in awe of His love. God has more in store for you than you or I could ever imagine. “He performs wonders, that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted.” Job 5:9 It is time to give up the darkness, the pain, the doubts, the worries, the insecurities, the brokenness—Give it to Jesus. Do not sit in the dark, trying to adjust your eyes to the darkness; instead, go to the Lord and ask Him to turn on the light. It is only after quieting our mind and acknowledging the emptiness in our heart that we realize only God can help us rise above, and He is the only one to make us feel whole again. It is so important to stand vulnerable before God and ask Him to meet us where we are, no matter what state we are in, and no matter what we feel we may be missing.
ALL YOUR
Our God does not mind bending low just to reach His children at their lowest. He does not mind giving up His beauty for the unworthy. He does not mind leaving His majestic throne to walk the mud-filled and dusty roads of the earth just to be with us. He does not even mind death, just to give His children everlasting life. He is more than just a King. He is more than just a Maker. He is a loving, generous, and caring Father. A Father who forgives quickly and does not keep a record of His children’s sins. He is, in fact, a prodigal-seeking Father. He is waiting, and, oh, how patiently He waits for His child to come back home. Must you not forget that you are never a burden to Him. You are His heartbeat and greatest joy. Run to Jesus with all your worries, all your doubts, all your fears, and all your insecurities. Give it to Jesus. So if you’re reading this, if there is still hopefulness in your heart, I want you to remember your story is still going. Heavy or light, beautiful or difficult, hopeful or uncertain, there is still time for things to heal, change, and grow. There is still time for surprises. We are all stories still being written. You wouldn’t be breathing right now if there wasn’t a purpose behind everything that is happening in your life. I challenge you to allow yourself to be led by God’s beautiful truth. Allow yourself to be so obedient to Him that you are willing to trust what He has in store. Trust that HE will provide a way for your future; HE will place the right people in your path; HE will give you the words to say; and HE will give you the strength to wait. Trust that when the answer is No, there is a better Yes down the road. I promise it will all make sense someday. In the end we will all lock eyes and whisper, only God. What grace that moment will be, standing in our dreams and praising our God.
JOE HAYES
PRAIS E AND WORS HIP LEADER
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LEXINGTON, KY
"WORSHIP TO ME IS SIMPLY THE REALIZATION OF HOW GOOD GOD REALLY IS, AND KNOWING I AM ALWAYS IN WORSHIP BY KNOWING HIM IN SECRET AND IN PUBLIC" 1. Why do you choose Jesus?
In John chapters 15 and 16 He says if we abide in Him, He will send us His Spirit to convict us, comfort us, and lead us into all truth. His active Spirit was what I was missing in my entire life of Churchianity. Just last November actually, the Holy Spirit had had enough and knew I needed to once and for all put to death the sin of pornography in my life (after many failed attempts in my own power), and I had a cry out to God moment of repentance in the closet of a house I was helping build at work. The months following Jesus has been so amazing to me, ministering to me by His Spirit, and teaching me holiness and freedom through His scriptures and through some amazing people He has positioned for me. So now I choose Him every day. 2. Best part about worship?
The best part about worship to me is simply the realization of how good God really is, and knowing I am always in worship by knowing Him in secret and in public. I'm learning my entire life is to be His son, and to submit to Him by worship and praise. 3. Why do you do music?
He allows me to use my greatest passion of music, to the best of my ability, by the leading of the Holy Spirit for His glory. I can't think of a better use of my gift, to honor the creator of the universe who gave it to me by His Spirit inside me. I mean, the creator of THE UNIVERSE is using me as a vessel of public praise, how honored do I feel?! 4. How do you want to see Lexington grow in community for Jesus?
After living here for 17 years, I think it's safe to say that some kind of holy fire has ignited in Lexington, and it scorched me. More and more people I know personally seem to be talking about, and coming to the Lord in a deeper way in this City. I want to see that continue, and I hope to see a larger part of the artistic community here surrendering themselves to Him. I hope to see more churches, coffee shops, public areas, etc. filled with presence of His Spirit.
ANGELICMUSIC
N A T A L I E A N, D E R S O N
FToday or five years, I have called God “Father” and meant it. I want to peel back the layers of identity “then” and
LEXINGTON KY
“now,” of lessons learned and shadows scattered, and simply point to the person of Jesus and say that He has changed everything and changes me still. My parents are wonderful and provided Christ-centered structure for my sisters and me. Our church in Louisville became “home base.” I asked Jesus “into my heart” at the age of six, had a classical education (i.e., studied Latin and rhetoric, good gracious), and defined myself as an athlete and musician. But beneath those facts, a terrified heart warped me beyond recognition. God created us for community and for intimacy with Him, but I shrank away in mistrust. I dropped out of student ministry in eighth grade, shut out my family, and turned my back on my construct of a heartless, “well, you asked for it” God. An “all A’s” student, I chased perfection, humiliated by my failings and myself. I learned to abuse my body and heart, hide my brokenness, and flinch away from people and the Father. From church, I thought I knew what God required and I wanted none of it—none of Him. Mostly I presumed He wanted none of me. As I grew older, I dug into apologetics, searching for reasons to trust a God that sat idly while the world burned. I attempted student ministry again, but fled at the nagging thoughts: “Why would they want you?” Others might see I had nothing to offer. So I starved and presented myself as well as I could, daily falling short, saying little and risking less, until my heart was brittle and I wanted to stop living. But my story didn’t end. After all those broken years, I encountered God at a retreat the summer before college, finally desperate enough to risk being known. Jesus met me as a holy and humble Savior, drawing me into belonging and purpose. I can’t explain it without tears. Like Moses at the burning bush and the disciples in the upper room, I had to remove my sandals in awe-filled surrender, to lay
down preconceptions and stand on Christ’s once-and-for-all grace. As I obeyed, He gave me hope beyond myself. He was unfazed by my filth and actually wanted my barefooted presence—my dirty feet on the holiest of grounds—my willingness to be washed by His hands and defined by His heart as one dearly loved. The five years since tell a plodding journey of stumbling obedience and healing liberation. The capacity to deny self and honor others came with time, and is stretched daily. Truly, our fears, aches, and opinions shrink to their appropriate priority as we pour ourselves out at the foot of the cross and lift Jesus higher. Clearly, miraculously, the Lord has plans for us that surpass our warped perceptions. Once broken and disillusioned, now we are children, with His vision, heart, and Spirit-breathed courage to step back into the fray and proclaim with lips and lives, “This is what Jesus has done. This is what He will do. This is who He is. And this is who you are.” I’m still learning parts of my story; I get to keep surrendering my pieces to the wholeness of God’s love and the Holy Spirit’s work. “Everything is different now” barely grasps at all the “new-ness” Christ gives. I know this: His grace shouts a different reality than our broken hearts or enemy’s lies indicate. We have every reason to hope in Him. Fully known and fully loved, we’re invited to find Him and hold on to Him: Abba, Savior, Redeemer, Friend, Healer, Seeing One, Brother, mighty Warrior, Lover of our souls, King who comes, Spirit who leads, and God who sings over His people. I believe Jesus was with me as a six year-old by her bunk bed asking Him in, as a young girl crying in revulsion and fear, and as a teenager wanting to end her life. His hand is on me today. And as I seek Christ, everything is redeemed: in me and around me. Jesus is trustworthy, praiseworthy, and lifts our weary heads every time, in time. He “is good and does good,” (Psalm 119:68) and I will sing of His love till it reigns in me. Hallelujah.
NAVIGATING A B ACKS LIDE
Trockhereon which comes a time when we all slip a little on the Jesus set out for us to stand. Whether B Y LAUREN PRATHER
we consider it a small slip and quickly regain our footing, or if it's a landslide with our feet parallel to our faces, arms flailing in the air, and the knowledge that the only direction we are going is down....it happens. But where do we land? Do we fall back on the rock? Or land on the cushy grass that tells us that we never really slipped in the first place. If we land on the rock we come down hard. It's a landing that is sure to leave a mark. Life had taken me to a place where I found myself slipping. It didn't seem to start out that way, but these things never do. It was something that Jesus told me I no longer needed the day I gave my life to him. At the time I was more than thrilled to set this aside, but deep in my mind I never really fully gave it up. I went over a year without this thing that was once so important to me. I would tell you what "it" is but what does it really matter anyway? Would it make a difference if it was drugs, sex, alcohol, gluttony, or indulgence in any number of things? No. It didn't happen all at once. It slowly slithered in with my walk. Something can seem so slow to creep in, but once it's there that familiar spirit recognizes of all the places in your heart where it once lived and tries to resettle. When I was first saved it was so easy to give up my old ways. To set aside my sin and revel in the glory that is Jesus, the one who gave me eternal life. People told me to enjoy that time because it wouldn't last forever, but I didn't see how. I cannot pinpoint the time when the honeymoon was over, but at some point, it happened. I stepped out of the newly salvaged bubble that I had been safely settled in and realized that while I was completely different, the world is still the same. Sin is still the same.
"I WAS SO FOCUSED ON HOW I WASN’T CURRENTLY LIVING UP TO MY PAST POTENTIAL THAT I SLIPPED. I FELL FAR ENOUGH IN TO AN OLD HABIT THAT WHEN I LANDED I RECOGNIZED THE ROCK THAT I HAD FALLEN ON. JESUS. ONCE I FELL FAR ENOUGH INTO THAT OLD HABIT I HEARD JESUS SPEAK TO ME AGAIN. " I found myself envious of who I was when I was first saved. Wishing that long prayer times, diving in to my bible, and the insatiable hunger for Christ and more of Him was still as strong. I was jealous. Of myself. That jealousy opened the door for my old habit. It took my focus away from where it should have been. I prayed to be able to get back to where I was when I was first saved. I was so focused on how I wasn’t currently living up to my past potential that I slipped. I fell far enough in to an old habit that when I landed I recognized the rock that I had fallen on. Jesus. Once I fell far enough into that old habit I heard Jesus speak to me again. The closeness I was craving. He told me not to be envious of myself when I was first saved. I was so broken back then, that was a state to which I never want to return. He told me “I will always have more for you.” Slipping and falling will happen. But where will you land? Don’t land on the grass. The grass will try and convince you that the rock is too hard, too difficult to follow. You want to be on the rock that Jesus set out for you to stand. It’s hard when you fall, but getting back up will make you stronger. Staying up is easier when you have Christ to carry you, and finding your way is as easy as reaching out to your Savior.
Happy PHOTOGRAPHY BY RHEA STARNS MODELS
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BROOKE ANDERSON AND CHAD ZI
GMUND HAIR
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LAUREN PRATHER
MAKEUP DRESS
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LUCY
ENTWI NE
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LEXINGTON
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THREE YEARS
WHAT WAS YOUR LIFE LIKE THREE YEARS AGO?
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B Y KAREN HIGUERA
hink back to your life three years ago. What was it like? Who were you friends with? What were your dreams? Did you have a five-year plan? Were you in school? Starting a job? Going through a low point? A high point? Now compare that to today. Did you ever think you would be where you are today three years ago? Maybe you did, but it’s more likely that you never could have dreamed you would be doing exactly what you are doing now, three years ago. What we dream for ourselves is nowhere close to the amazing plan God has in store for us! We make plans, set goals, change plans, and achieve goals. Sometimes huge triumphs enter our lives at unexpected times and sometimes huge losses. We prepare for some things our whole lives and for others there is nothing that could have ever prepared us. What is important to remember is that everything happens for a reason. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and I promise you, that light, it is NOT a train! Life changing and time passing is not a bad thing. It is a precious gift that we should be thankful to experience. Thankful for everything God has given us and the lessons we learned from the bad times. Remember that if you pray for patience, God will give you situations in which to practice your patience. Just because life changes and things happen does not mean we should not still make plans - just be open to those plans changing. We never know what tomorrow holds. Yes, we could get hit by a bus but we may also finally solve that algorithm, stick that new move, or create a masterpiece. The future can be scary and overwhelming but let’s not forget to live this moment and give glory to God for the wonder that is life. I pray that no matter how the last three years of your life have gone, that in the next three, you will find infinite blessings, peace, happiness, and joy on the path that God provides.
ASHE MAY BE THE CLOSEST IMAG
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B Y ANDREA MARLOWE
e each sat with our faces resting in our hands, tears streaming uncontrollably through our fingers. Loud bursts of weeping were heard from every corner of the room. Two representatives from Hospice came to share with our family what to expect in the coming weeks. The end was near, and though this fight had exhausted us all, we were not ready to give up. My nephew Ashe had been sick for almost 2 years. Following a car accident, tests determined he had an inoperable tumor growing on his brainstem. Brainstem Glioma, a rare but fatal cancer. He was two and a half years old when he was diagnosed. As we sat discussing his potential fate that evening, and delegating between our own self-anger and lack of understanding towards the situation, Ashe walked from person to person. He took tissues from the Kleenex box in the center of the floor and delivered them to each tear streaked face. He kept saying he was sorry to see us cry, and not to be sad. My mom often shares her memory from that night when he handed her two Lincoln logs and a small stuffed duck. He asked her not to cry, and she replied ‘I’m just really sad baby.’ Trying to lighten the mood, she put the duck on top of the logs and said ‘Look, a duck on stilts.’ He cackled and cried out ‘Do it again, Nana.’ Such great innocence and joy for such a weak wee little child. Little did he know or understand, we were crying because of him. We were in sorrow for losing him. We were angry because he was sick, and his time with us was so very limited. He was only four years old. We did everything we knew to do. We had taken him to the elders of our church and prayed over him. We had fasted. We had begged for God to heal him. We had begged for mercy. We had begged for miracles. Yet, here we were facing the moment we never wanted. Here we sat, hearing of how he would soon be gone and what we should do to prepare. How do you prepare yourself for losing a child? Nothing about this made any sense. I began to cry out to God in complete disbelief this could be a part of His will. How could a God of love, who cares for His creation, allow such anguish towards those He loves? That was 13 years ago. I wont say I always understood, and perhaps I never will in its entirety. However, when life brings sorrow I just can’t wrap my head around, I try and place myself in God’s position. When you think of the earth, the universe and the stars that are light-years away; what we see is only a minor glimpse into creation. Creation, beyond human life and our scope, is an immeasurable amount of space and time. We cannot fully comprehend what even science has been able to decipher of it, and we cannot imagine how much more remains unchartered. I’m not belittling our pain or our feelings or our despair. I’m simply saying, if I could see the bigger picture of everything, and have the power to control everything, I would then possibly have a creditable place to judge the actions and allowances of God. For those who don’t consider Him part of the equation, I cannot imagine how heavy the hurts of this world feel. For we are currently in the valleys and the trenches, with only small breaks in the shadows to show precursors of what is to come.
GE OF JESUS
I HAVE EXPERIENCED
"ISUNDERSTANDING AND FULLY KNOWING THERE SOMETHING BEYOND MY EXHAUSTIVE HUMAN LIFE PROVIDES STRENGTH WITHIN MY LIMITED SCOPE. I LOOK OFF, TOWARDS THE ETERNAL AND EXPANSIVE SPACE, THE UNCHARTERED TERRITORY WE CANNOT YET SEE. AND I KNOW THAT WHEN I SPEAK, THE GOD WHO IS BIGGER THAN ALL CREATION, AND BEYOND ANYTHING I COULD IMAGINE, BENDS DOWN TO LISTEN" Ashe passed away almost two months after the evening when Hospice came. He would have been 17 years old this past January. In earthly time, we keep such close record of the days. But when it comes to eternity, there is no need. To attempt measuring eternity, or tracking progress through it would be like counting water drops in the oceans as they change to vapor and clouds, then to rainfall and return. The process is neverending; the timeline does not have a completion. But if there is nothing to come, no better life than this, than we remain in the valleys and the trenches, and the burden is never lifted. It becomes overpowering. It becomes suffocating. Death is just the end, and the point of everything here is, at the very least, highly questionable. Ashe may be the closest image of Jesus I have experienced, and definitely the strongest 4-year-old I have ever known. In the midst of his suffering, he exuded strength and joy. Amongst pain, he still laughed and made us laugh. We were each mourning our loss of him, and he consoled us. He was innocent, full of love, and undeserving of his pain. Yet, I can see through the redemptive story of my family and of healing it was not without purpose. We each have a God, something that leads us and determines our steps. We each have something we idolize and put our trust in. The choice of what takes that position in our lives has been left to us. I once made the choice to deny God and run, questioning Him and His choices and the weights of this world were heavy. But returning to Him, I can see beyond the end of this temporal state, and the burden is lighter. So very light. Though I miss Ashe, understanding and fully knowing there is something beyond my exhaustive human life provides strength within my limited scope. I look off, towards the eternal and expansive space, the unchartered territory we cannot yet see. And I know that when I speak, the God who is bigger than all creation, and beyond anything I could imagine, bends down to listen. And He takes note of everything I say, and even what I question. Yet, He is outside of these trenches and outside of these valleys in which we currently reside. He sees eternity in its entirety. So I’ll choose humility over immediate explanation. For as the sun rises every morning, He has proven He is trustworthy.
EVERYONE WHO DRINKS OF THIS WATER WILL BE THIRSTY AGAIN, BUT WHOEVER DRINKS OF THE WATER THAT I WILL GIVE HIM WILL NEVER BE THIRSTY AGAIN. JOHN 4:1 3-1 4
Washed by water PHOTOGRAPHY BY ASHLEY RAINWATER LOCATION
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LEXINGTON
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ANGELIC
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