TRENDING TALK

Make the Holidays Happy

IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN  A TIME FILLED WITH FAMILY, FRIENDS, GOOD CHEER, PRESENTS AND LOTS OF DELICIOUS FOOD. IT IS ALSO A SEASON THAT CAN BE RIFE WITH AWKWARD MOMENTS, EMBARRASSING ENCOUNTERS AND DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS.

By Esther C. Bleuel, MA, MFT, MDR

As you plan a family visit or a social gathering at your home and are thinking about decorations, refreshments and invitations, here is something else to consider. Great conversations are like anything else, they seldom just happen. They are planned. Here are a few ways to help to get things going in a positive direction.

SHARING HOLIDAY MEMORIES

You might ask … I’d love to hear about one of the best holidays you can remember. What are the traditions, memories, and celebrations that are meaningful to you?

You might share … A story from your life that would help someone understand what the holidays and traditions mean to you, especially your favorite experiences and memories.

MERRY CHRISTMAS VS. HAPPY HOLIDAYS

Sadly, this can be a “hot” topic because Christmas has become largely a secular holiday and many have forgotten that it’s based on religious principles and traditions. Unless you are clear about the nature of where and with whom you will gather, planning ahead will help avoid tense or awkward situations.

Here are a few tips:

•Clarify the meaning you intend to communicate when you express holiday greetings to others. Resolve not to take offense at holiday salutations that are different from your own. It’s better to just appreciate and welcome the sentiment and good wishes. H

“Resolve not to take offense at holiday salutations that are different from your own.”

Think about the kinds of public• holiday celebrations and religious sentiments you consider appropriate and their importance to you. Plan to share your experience of• celebrating someone else’s tradition if you have done that. If not, what traditions other than your own are you most curious about?

Take the time to plan your conversations, along with the menu, gifts and decorations. It will make for a much happier holiday.

CONVERSATION STARTERS

1) If you had a million dollars to give to charity, where would you spend it? 2) When you look back on the last year, what are you proud of?

3) What is your favorite characteristic in other people? Why?

4) As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? 5) What are the two most important lessons you learned during this last year?

6) What are you looking forward to in the coming year? Accomplishment, experience, learning?

People usually enjoy talking about themselves with someone who is interested. The more you listen to someone share, the simpler, more comfortable and enjoyable the holiday gathering will be.

And, finally, here’s a question for you: What are the best — and worst — conversations you can remember? What went right and what went wrong? Please leave a comment by emailing me at www.ToughTalkCoach.com. v