2 minute read
Retail RaNdoMs
by 55 North
The agony and the ecstasy
Here at The Week In Retail, we know a thing or two about the German discounters. You could say we’ve been to Aldi and bought the T-shirt.
We’ve also bought garden furniture, power tools, colouring books, dumbbells, a couple of children’s wetsuits and a rubber dinghy.
So, we doff our cap (also a Specialbuy) at Aldi Scotland’s latest offering: relationship advice.
You don’t even need to root about in the middle aisle to patch up your love life. Simply share your receipt on Aldi’s social channels and an “up and coming” agony aunt will offer dating tips based on your purchases.
After spending 10 years asking people if they’re getting made-up for anything special, Glaswegian beautician Dear Ashleigh also started offering relationship advice to clients. She explained: “It’s the small things that they themselves haven’t noticed which reveals the most.”
Given that her massive glasses must be more powerful than the Hubble telescope, we imagine Dear Ashleigh can spot some very small things indeed.
“I’m looking forward to helping Aldi shoppers find out a bit more about themselves and where they should be looking for love,” she concluded.
Hopefully not in that inflatable hot tub they’ve just purchased.
I'm too sexy for this survey
Oh dear. A survey of 1,500 men and women across the UK has “conclusively” revealed that men with hair are sexier than their bald brethren.
Fair enough. The opinion of a whopping 0.002% of the population is cast iron proof as far as we’re concerned.
In the poll, held in January, 72% of women said they thought blokes with a full head of hair were sexier than bald men. Depressingly, 73% of men thought that’s how women would answer.
Apparently, the research “aimed to get to the core of the urban myth that bald men are thought to be sexier”.
No it didn’t. The research aimed to add to people’s insecurities – cultivated by a constant drip of social media poison – and drive them to an online pharmacy which sells products that allegedly combat hair loss.
A separate Week In Retail poll concluded that there’s nothing sexier that someone who’s entirely at ease within their own skin. Whether it’s hairy or not.
