12 minute read
Love, Marriage & Covid
BY CHRISTINA RUOTOLO
First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes COVID, then comes…. wait, that’s not how the song is supposed to go. But over the last year, this is the new wedding tune every bride and groom have been singing. Before COVID-19, a boy gets down on one knee, a girl says yes, he slips a ring on her fnger, then the planning commences. Long guest lists are made, fights booked to warm, sunny beachy locations, wedding dresses are bought, hotel room reserved and the rest is a dizzy list of cake tastings, bridal shopping, invitations and hundreds of other to dos.
A few days before the wedding, the bride and her girl crew don matching tiaras and sashes, partake in a few adult beverages while the groom and his posse enjoy a wild night of their own. A few days later, she wears white, he wears his dress blues, she says yes, he says yes, they enjoy a long, passionate kiss and dance the night away. There is no COVID, no masks, no hand sanitizer stations, or social distancing. There is hugging, dancing, kissing, eating not thinking, “Did I wash my hands? Did I pick up the right drink? There are tight lines of people snaking around the open bar, fngers grabbing at trays of fnger foods, and cake is sliced and eaten with or without a real fork, no plastic forks in site here. People get tipsy, hug their friends a little too long and in some cases, you all fght and claw for the prized bouquet, your ticket to love. This year, the scene looks quite a bit diferent.
I have been planning and managing weddings for over 20 years and I normally work 10 to 15 weddings a year. In 2020, I did three. THREE. I wore my mask, social distanced, fst bumped the bride and groom (no hugs here) after I pronounced them married and enjoyed the strangest year of wedding planning ever. I was super excited though that all three of the weddings I managed and performed were for some of my favorite people. One of those amazing women is my former co-worker and gal pal, Logan. She is a bright light in a world that right now is anything but. Her smile lasts for days and she is always happy and laughing. She is a great friend who would be there if you needed anything and I would have loved to have her as one of my caring teachers. I bought her her frst drink when she turned 21, and I helped her navigate the world of dating, ofering advice when needed. I am quite a few years older than she is, so I enjoyed living vicariously through her young journey through love and it has been so amazing to watch her fall in love.
In 2019, Logan met a new man named Trent. Every time she talked about him, her cheeks fushed with joy, and you could
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hear in her voice the authenticity of what was turning into true love. He was going to the be the one, her Lobster, her Penguin...her Channing Tatum. And just a few short months later during Christmas Eve 2019, Trent got down on one knee in front of a Christmas tree with lights and popped the question. This past summer, in the midst of a pandemic, they said I do in an open air wedding under an arch made of sunfowers overlooking a bridge and a sparkling pond. They promised through the uncertainty of the world around them to love each other in sickness and in health, and little did they know, their frst year of marriage would test them in many ways and they would have to lean on each other and that love to get them through it all.
I am so happy to share Logan and Trent’s magical love journey with Her readers. I wanted to know the whole story from frst glance to now, so I interviewed them on how they survived their planning and frst year of marriage in a pandemic. And in my opinion, there is nothing better than an old fashioned love story to warm your hearts this winter.
When I frst saw Logan I thought she was beautiful. We didn’t talk the frst time I saw her. When we fnally did, I knew right away that she was someone I wanted to keep around.
The very frst time I recall seeing Trent, he was covered in grease working on his truck in our best friends’ driveway. Our best friends are married and, until this point, we had not crossed paths. I remember thinking he needed a shower (haha). The frst time I actually spoke with Trent, I could tell right away that he was a caring man who would do anything for those he loved. We planned a surprise party together for our mutual best friends and we have been hooked since!
My favorite thing about Logan and the reason why I fell in love with her is that she's able to put others before herself and that truly does speak volumes in today's society.
My favorite thing about Trent is how passionate he is about the things/people that are important to him. I fell in love with his kind heart, his ability to make me laugh even when I don’t want to, and he is the calm to my storm.
Trent, now let’s talk about that proposal.
I decided I wanted to propose in November of 2019. Logan’s favorite holiday is Christmas. She loves to be with her family and the tradition of it all. I proposed to her with the help of her parents and our best friends in front of the tree on Christmas Eve.
Logan, what was the frst thing that went through your mind when Trent proposed?
“Omg…omg…omg” then “Oh crap, I have on a famingo Christmas sweater.” I woke him up fve times that night to ask him if he was still sure.
Little did Logan and Trent know, but a storm was a brewing and just two months into their engagement, a pandemic would hit the world with a bang.
How long after your engagement did you fnd out about the COVID-19 shutdowns?
Logan: We were engaged on Christmas Eve of 2019. By February of 2020, we began to hear more and more about COVID, and I immediately started getting anxious. By this point, I was fnished with almost all of the major wedding plans (location, catering, photographer, cake, etc.). We had already adjusted the date twice for a few reasons and there wasn’t much availability left at our venue. By March when our school was made to go virtual, I was very worried. Trent and I went back and forth for months about whether we should postpone.
How did the shutdowns afect your wedding plans? What changed?
Logan: When we began seeing shutdowns due to COVID, I followed every news conference hoping that things would start to get better. Luckily, we were able to tour our venue, complete our menu and cake tasting, and I was able to pick out and order a dress all before shutdowns. The biggest impact we felt surrounding planning was the guest list and invitations. With Trent’s family being from out of state, we knew that there would likely be some issues with travel.
Our venue had to set a maximum capacity, which we wanted to come in far below to make our guests comfortable. We ended up cutting our guest list down by 50 guests right from the start. We sent invitations out, fully aware that many of those invited may not attend. Due to the ever-changing statistics and changes that went on, it was very difcult to get an accurate guest count. We had people change their minds about coming up to the week of the wedding. We ultimately ended up with about 100 people less than what RSVP’d. We also had to wear masks at every visit to any of our vendors, as well as alterations and fttings. We had to ensure that spacing at the venue would be adequate for our guests. Luckily our venue location was large and both indoor and outdoor, so guests had many options to spread out. We budgeted in purchasing masks for all of our guests and wedding parties (although it was their option to wear), as well as lots and lots of sanitizer.
What was your biggest fear for your wedding day being that it was in the middle of a pandemic?
6 Her — February 2021 www.reflector.com/her
Logan & Trent's
WEDDING DETAILS
Wedding Cake: Three tied wedding cake provided by The Topiary, Jacksonville
Wedding Venue: The Rustic Barn at Half Moon, Jacksonville
Wedding Bouquet: Created by foral artists at Forget-Me-Not Flowers and Gifts, Jacksonville
Wooden door decor made by Trent and Logan. They built the doors themselves. The actual doors were salvaged antiques (and had layers and layers of paint to get through). Logan made the window with wedding party. The sign was purchased on Etsy. All other décor was purchased from various retailers.
Wedding Dress: Designed by Essence of Australia
Bride’s Glitzy Boots by Corral
Trent: I was most concerned with the health of our older family members, as well as my family coming in from out of the state.
Logan: OTHER PEOPLE. I was so concerned about the health and safety of our friends and family. I had such anxiety the entire day and for two weeks after. We gave all of our guests the heads up about our precautions, but also explained that if they weren’t comfortable, we understood! We were fully prepared to have just our immediate family there. It still would have been our beautiful day.
The best part of the wedding day for me was being able to relax with our family and friends after the ceremony was over. It was nice to be able to let loose and have fun.
The ceremony was my favorite part… realizing that we were actually getting married. I love that our guest list ended up being smaller. It was so much more intimate and included some of the most important people in our lives.
Were you able to go on a honeymoon and if so, where did you go and how was a pandemic honeymoon diferent than a non-pandemic honeymoon?
Trent: We were not able to go on a honeymoon. We decided to not plan one with the uncertainty that surrounded travel during that time. We also didn’t want to go somewhere and not get to fully experience it. Logan also had to go back to work the following Monday.
My favorite part about being married to Logan is always having my best friend around.
Never feeling like I am alone in anything (also he’s a really good cook, LOL).
Little did Logan and Trent know, but another storm was brewing and just a few short months into their marriage, they would meet COVID head on.
Tell us what happened when you realized you had COVID-19?
We both tested positive for COVID-19 in November 2020. We had been married for about three months when Trent tested positive frst. I had to immediately quarantine with him, however I did not have any symptoms for the frst week and I continued to test negative. We were both exposed at the same time to a family member. I was extremely worried about Trent and didn’t know exactly how to handle him being in pain. I am so used to him being the strong one. I communicated with his parents a lot, went and bought a new thermometer and pulseox, and checked his vitals hourly. I hated seeing him in bed all day…that is not my husband.
About a week later, I developed a headache and sore throat. It eventually turned into a persistent cough. I am very strongwilled and continued to work through COVID virtually. I eventually got to the point that my heart rate was way too high and I couldn’t breathe. Trent took me to the hospital and had to drop me of and leave. That was so scary for us both. Luckily, I was treated and given medicine and didn’t have to be admitted. Trent took such good care of me, the house, and our four dogs. We were lucky in that we weren’t very sick at the same time, so we could take care of each other!
What has been the most positive thing to happen to you both in the last year?
Trent: Finally having a home of our own. Logan: Other than getting married, the best thing that has happened for us has been the purchase of our frst home!
Now that you have survived almost your frst year of marriage, what do you see for the second year of marriage?
Logan: We plan to try to relax and enjoy the next year of marriage. Trent has enrolled in college and I am fnishing my master’s and a graduate certifcation and plan to start pursuing my doctorate.
And of course, the most asked question after a wedding is when are you going to have some babies?
Logan: No defnite plans for kids right now…we have four dogs and they are a handful all by themselves!
Logan and Trent are now COVID- free and enjoying their new home and settling into their new life as a married couple. No matter what the future holds, they are going to be just fne. Now see that was a great love story with dips and turns and no matter what, love always wins in the end. Congratulations Logan and Trent. Cheers!
8 Her — February 2021 www.reflector.com/her