Remembering Brandy Edwards Duke

Remembering the life of

Brandy Edwards Duke 1975-2022

BY CHRISTINA RUOTOLO, BRANDY DUKE, AND MICHAEL DUKE

God is writing my story

Sometimes, the most beautiful stories start at the end, not the beginning. The journey after we die, our next chapter is the one with the most light and the most promise. One such beautiful light is Brandy Edwards Duke who lost her battle to breast cancer on Sunday, August 21, 2022 with her loving family by her side. For Brandy the whole time she was fighting, God has been writing her story, an escape from her pain, an eternal salvation, and a new heavenly life where her health is finally restored.

Throughout Brandy’s courageous five-year battle with metastatic breast cancer, there were moments of defeat and also great victories. In all of this, Brandy knew that God was the true author of her life’s story and that He would write a magnificent and victorious chapter regardless of the earthly outcome. She also knew that God would use her story to encourage and give hope to others who may be facing the same obstacles.

Brandy began chronicling her breast cancer journey “God is writing my story” on Facebook allowing her friends and family

4 Her Magazine — October 2022

to be part of her story. She shared all the painful and hopeful moments from first diagnosis to her final beautiful earthly breaths that lifted her from an earthly mission and planted her soul into a new heavenly mission to be remembered for her bravery, devotion to the Lord, her family, friends and those battling the same disease. Brandy was a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, a friend to so many, and brave breast cancer warrior.

A native and lifelong resident of Pitt County, Brandy was born to Timothy and Brenda Carol Stocks Edwards. She was a graduate of D. H. Conley High School and a two-time graduate of East Carolina University for both her undergraduate and graduate degrees. Brandy attended First Pentecostal Holiness Church, where she met her now husband, Michael Duke when he was 17 and she was 19. They fell in love, dated for five years, and married in March, 2000. They began married life and had two sons, Zachary and Braden. Brandy worked as a sales representative for a number of years in pharmaceuticals as well as medical equipment. Later, she worked as a patient liaison for patients who utilized rehabilitation services.

Brandy and Michael had been married over 22 years at the time of her death. Micheal remembers when they first met and recalls all of the wonderful things he loved about her. “I remember she stood out to me not only because of her beauty, but her personality. She was energetic and I loved that we shared the same religious views,” Michael says.

Life went on like so many other family stories do. In 2012 Brandy’s sister, Michelle was diagnosed with breast cancer. She helped her through her own cancer battle, a double mastectomy and has been cancer free since 2013. Brandy did not know she would hear the same words, “You have breast cancer,” just a few years later in August 2017 when she was first diagnosed with cancer. She also had a double mastectomy and went into remission. Two years later, in August 2019, the cancer returned, but Brandy vowed that she would fight, that “no matter what happens, this is my promise to Y'ALL and all of my people …. that I am going to FIGHT as long as I have breath. And tell my story! Brandy Duke doesn’t quit and walk away, and I usually always have to have the last word!” In true warrior-like spirit along with her faith, family and friends rallied around her, she would go into battle again with her head held high.

In October 2019 Brandy started chemotherapy. She endured 16 chemotherapy treatments and 33 rounds of radiation. Brandy was declared cancer free in June, 2020. But just a few months later in September, 2020 her cancer returned and had spread to her pelvic bone, lower back bone, and liver. She wanted her life to be measured in beautiful faithful moments, although it was surrounded by needles, pain, and fear of the unknown. She used her “God is writing my story” Facebook journey to show everyone all the beautiful and ugly sides of cancer. When she was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer, she posted on her feed about loving your story no matter what it’s made of. “Do you Love Your Story? That’s a hard question to answer…. at least for me it can be. Of course when life is going good, we LOVE our story. I mean who wouldn’t? But it’s when LIFE gets tough and hard and confusing and all the other ‘bad’ things … that’s when it’s hard to Love Our Story. One thing that cancer has taught me, is to do just this. Love My Story. And trust me, some days are easier to love than others. But when I truly rely on the fact that it’s not My Story, but the Story that God is writing through ME, how can I not love it? So whatever your story is, try to love it in the good times and the bad. I promise you that when you have this mindset, your days will be brighter and you will have so much Joy! I get excited just thinking about it!”

Not only did Brandy seek comfort in her faith and family, but she had a tribe of friends who helped her through her cancer journey, Denise, Dawn, and Jessica. She wanted everyone to know how important her tribe was, a stable guiding light in the darkness that helped her see through the pain and sadness, and see beyond the word cancer. They texted everyday, had “TRIBE time”, went on trips together, and prayed together. Brandy always had a lot to say about her tribe. “Living with cancer, I have often told people that I am living my best life through cancer. And I know that sounds weird, but it’s true. My cancer brought me my TRIBE. We were all friends separately before, but cancer brought us together.”

Brandy said many times that fighting cancer is a battle that is an equally physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual battle. But we are not called to fight these battles alone. She loved her village of supporters and leaned on her church family as well and let it be known how grateful she was for their help."They pray for me, pray over me, step in to be anointed on my behalf, speak words of encouragement over me, help hold my arms up at the altar when I want to praise Jesus, but don’t have the strength to do so. The children take time to write me notes, make me a blanket that I use EVERY SINGLE DAY. Y’all these are my people and they are not just standing behind me, but they are beside me, and in some cases in front of me! I hands down COULD NOT fight cancer without my church family.”

After her first round of chemo in October, 2021, Brandy posted the reality of what she was going through and her fears of losing her hair. “I have done well with my first chemo treatment.

My side effects have been very little...So I’ll take it! I have been told that I can expect to lose my hair starting this week. As vain as it may sound, losing my hair is what I dread the most. My emotions are all over the place. As much as I may joke about rocking a bald head, THIS hurts deep for me. My husband wiped my tears last night as I laid in bed and cried. The anticipation is rough, BUT I know who holds my future and that He will be with me every step of the way. And so I will shed some tears this week and will probably get mad, but I WILL get up, put my big girl pants on, and WILL rock a bald head.”

In May, 2022, after rounds of grueling chemo, she continued to share the beauty and the pain reminding people that God is in charge in her life and continuing to write her story. “I had Chemo # … I don’t even know, I’ve had so many I’ve lost count. But it’s not all rainbows and unicorns over here. FEAR creeps in! And it’s REAL. Fear is of the devil, but we all experience it and sometimes all we need is a subtle reminder that MY GOD IS BIGGER THAN MY FEAR!"

Micheal was an anchor through the many storms he and Brandy weathered as her cancer progressed. In early 2022, doctors found 40 brain lesions and she had to have additional radiation. Her pain was great, but she did her best to put on a brave face when in public. “At home, she was more human. We cried together, held each other, had log talks and we were realistic about her disease, but still hopeful we would have more time. We prayed together and tried to give our boys as normal a life as we could through it all. No matter how much pain she was in, she didn’t complain. Her faith was that strong,” Michael says. One of Brandy’s posts in 2021 talked about how important time with Michael was. “My husband and I are closer. We make more of a conscious effort to just be with each other. It could be something as simple as binge watching a series with him (which we do every night). Just being in each other’s presence is important.”

Brandy enjoyed more quality family time with Micheal and her boys by sitting at the dinner table every night talking and creating cherished memories her boys can keep with them. “Her boys were her life, and her greatest joy. She was an incredible wife and an amazing mother,” Michael says. The family also vacationed as much as they could those last few years of Brandy’s life. They went to Outer Banks, Key West, Myrtle Beach and so many other great places. Brandy even made a bucket list and one was meeting the singers of New Kids on the Block this past Spring. Michael is grateful they had those last few trips and memories together. “We lived for the moment. Brandy was always so organized and made sure all our trips were a success.”

Five days before Brandy died on August 16, 2022 she made this post. “Some men promise their “Love” a rose garden. Not mine. He promised to be there for me in sickness & in health. And boy has he delivered this over and over again. This is not how I planned to spend my birthday week either... in the hospital. But here we are!” Within a few days, Micheal was told there was no more they could do, that she was comfortable and she would die soon. The family gathered by her bedside, prayed over her and on August 21, 2022 at age 47, she passed from her earthly story into her heavenly one. Micheal shared a heartfelt message on her Facebook page a short time later. “Some may or may not know but my beautiful wife reached the next chapter in her story. We aren’t ready for this but she was. She is finally free of so much pain in her body that she dealt with daily. God gave us the last five years together (to the week) to experience life together with our boys. We

ALWAYS HERE FOROR Y U!Y U

Call me today foraFREEconsultation. JAEGOESS

Sr.Loan Officer |NMLSID#185851

252.814.7464

jgoess@alcova.com ALCOVA.com/jgoess

ALCOVA Mortgage LLC| NMLSID# 40508 (www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org) 308 Market Street SE,Roanoke, VA 24011

6 Her Magazine — October 2022

lived, laughed and took a break on occasion. Not sure what the next chapter looks like for us, but so grateful she has reached the finish line with her big daddy Jesus!”

The outpouring of love, support and condolences were in the thousands as Brandy’s journey had touched so many people’s lives. Brandy will be best remembered for her tremendous faith in God. Even in the face of recurring illness, she strongly believed in her “Big Daddy Jesus” and how He was writing her story. Brandy was an incredible mother who adored her two boys and supported them in all their endeavors. Traveling was one of her favorite things to do with family and friends. The family’s two golden retrievers, Dixie and Lulu, and their cat, Tiger, brought her much joy. Her immediate and extended families were very important to her and she especially enjoyed “sister shenanigans” with her sister, Michelle who she grew even closer with as she battled cancer.

Brandy was preceded in death by her loving father-in-law, Junior Phillips who was a spiritual guide and prayer warrior in her life. She is survived by her husband of 22 years, Michael Corey Duke; two sons, Zachary and Braden Duke; her parents, Tim and Brenda Edwards; one sister, Michelle Edwards; her motherin-law, Barbara Phillips; a brother-in-law, Matt Duke and wife, Christy; two nieces Emma and Chloe Duke and a nephew, Luke Duke. Brandy’s story is not over, not in the least. Her memory will live on in her family, her words that teach us to love our story no matter how short or long it is, and that it should be lived with purpose, faith and focus. “Make lemonade out of lemons. Look at the glass half full instead of half empty. LIVE in the PRESENT!! And take the dag-gum trip that you’ve been putting off and MAKE THOSE MEMORIES!! Because they are oh so precious…Don’t wait. Life’s way too short!!!"

Her Magazine — October 2022 7