Editor’s Page Dear Readers, Sometimes we do things because we believe our life will be better. Instead, our actions only bring temporary happiness followed by a lot of regret. If only we could undo things and start again. The articles in this issue are all about second chances. The stories remind us that no matter how bad our situation is, God can give us a fresh start. In this issue of MOMS, you will read the story of a man who lived a dangerous life and when his situation became desperate, he challenged God to change his life. You will read about a couple whose marriage ended in separation, however, God gave them a second chance to try again. You will also get tips on having a healthier heart and practical advice on saving money. I hope you will enjoy all our articles and start the New Year with hope in the God who gives second chances and helps us live life to the fullest! Evelyn Damian, Issue Editor
Editor
Kimberly Snider Guest Editor
Evelyn Damian
lvin Abad Photo by A
From My Heart
Distribution
Johnson Li Cover & Layout
Patrick Tan
Published quarterly by Asia Pacific Media Ministries Unit 2608 Raffles Corporate Center, Emerald Avenue, Ortigas Center, 1605 Pasig City, Philippines Telephone: 914-9767 E-mail: moms@apmedia.org Reproduction of photos and articles is prohibited without permission.
Reader’s Letters Dear MOMS, I have received a copy of your Moms magazine and found them to be relevant, and timely in today’s generation. As we share the same vision, may I request your good office for the latest issue and for a subscription to the following issues to come, so we can distribute them to 150 preschool and elementary parents as one way to evangelize the Word of God in an informative way. We are hoping for your positive response. Thank you and God bless you more! From Guagua, Pampanga
Thank you for your financial help! • •
United Evangelical Church—Zamboanga Harris Memorial College - Educational Technology I, Class 2010-2011 Women’s Ministry-Highland Metropolitan A/G Tres Cruses Baptist Church
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Correction ...
In our last issue, the pictures taken for the article “A Heart That Reaches Out” were taken by Grace Jumento, not Alena Palad. Please forgive our mistake. Thanks, Grace, for a great photo!
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Mind & Spirit
20,801 Footsteps to Change by Nathan Maliwat
Have you ever wanted to give up on someone—thinking their life was so full of bad habits that it would be impossible for them to change? This man’s story is a reason we should never give up on the people we love.
“W
ala akong kwentang tao.”
This is how 41-year old Daniel Saneo describes himself before he was given another shot in life. For twenty years, Daniel struggled with vices, drug abuse, crime and immorality while living in the dangerous streets of Guadalupe. He survived by constantly running away from police authorities, and hiding behind the alias Boy Negro. But despite Daniel’s elusiveness, God found a way to turn his life around. As a young man, Daniel would do anything to escape trouble—he once hid a knife wound in his chest, which he got from a brawl, just to escape police interrogation. Daniel learned to be daring as a child growing up in the slums where violence is a way of life. His own father encouraged him to fend for himself with his fists teaching him that fighting was the way to survive. Daniel grew up deprived of security. The youngest of six children, he never owned anything as a child; every scrap was handed down to him. His fists came in handy whenever he got involved in petty crimes to get the things he wanted. When his parents died early in his life, Daniel had to live with what he was taught. Eventually, he discovered the lucrative business of drugs. He jumped into it without fear despite the obvious dangers. For years, he learned the trick of the trade until his alias, Boy Negro, became a household name in Guadalupe drug trade. Since then, Daniel was restlessly in and out of different cities, finding comfort in alcohol and prostitution in between. The crossroads came to him when he was hired to kill a man. Although already involved in a number of illegal activities, Daniel
Daniel with some of his friends. (Photos by Jeff Russell Castillo)
could not find it in himself to do the job. He ran away to Laguna with the money planning to cool things off. While in hiding, Daniel numbed his fear with vices, but none of them ever gave him lasting peace. He got word that he was being hunted in Manila and that reward money was already put over his head. Daniel knew at that point that he had to make a decision or the road could end for him. Out of hopelessness, he made an incredible bargain with God for the first time in his life. His pact with God was this: he would straighten up his life if he was still alive after he journeyed back to Manila on foot. Daniel was willing to put his life at stake to step out of the dead end. “Patayin mo na lang ako,” he recalls telling God. His journey would prove to be a life-changing pilgrimage. It took Daniel 20,801 steps to reach Quirino Avenue in Manila. He kept count of every footstep to remind himself of his pact with God. God provided for Daniel through his stepbrother who offered to house him while he was in hiding. In the past, Daniel’s stepbrother had warned him of the dangers of drug dealing, but Daniel was too hard headed to listen. When he offered Daniel a janitorial work in a Christian church
in Pasig, Daniel accepted the job. He was finally ready to open himself up to a new life. He was wary at first because everyone in there kept teaching him about God’s salvation. He told himself he might be in the company of fools. Daniel doubted many times whether he was in the right place. The temptation to drink alcohol and fool around got stronger. But he remembered his promise and realized he could not turn back. As months passed, God allowed Daniel to experience peace and acceptance in the company of the people around him. People were warm towards him and trusted him despite his dark past. They told Daniel they had been praying for him for a very long time. For the first time in many years, he saw his worth. Through the people in church, God got into Daniel’s heart. In one Bible study he was attending, Daniel surrendered his life to God and turned back from his old life just as he had promised. Change was hard, but newfound friends reminded him he was on the right track. Daniel’s story is living proof that there are second chances in life. But it takes bold steps of faith to get them. Now, at 41, Daniel is enrolled in a seminary hoping someday to be a church minister.
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Jojo and Christine Ibarreta’s Love Story as told to Evelyn Damian
Author’s note: When I first heard the story of Jojo and Christine, I was amazed at what God did to restore this broken marriage. I appreciate this couple for their openness; they shared both their victories and their failures. As I talked to them, I learned a few lessons. First, that there is hope in a messed up situation. Second, although we are already Christians, things may go wrong because our decisions are wrong. Sometimes, we separate ourselves from God and we look for answers in the wrong places or in wrong relationships. Then, we end up lonelier than before. But when we go back to God, admit we are wrong, and ask God to forgive us, He gives us a second chance.
Can marriage work when you start off on the wrong foot? Can God restore a failed relationship? Jojo and Christine Ibarreta share their love story. After years of separation and even annulment, they are back in each other’s arms and are experiencing love that is sweeter the second time around… Tell me about the first few years of your marriage. J: We started our marriage wrong. When we got married, Christine was pregnant. I was already a Christian but I hadn’t been going to church. Maybe that was the reason I made some wrong decisions and messed up my life. C: I was not going to any church then. J: I went back to church with Christine after we got married but we fought a lot. We got counseling from our Pastor but we were stubborn so we had to learn the hard way. We focused on ourselves and what we expected from each other— not on what God was teaching us. We were too proud to admit our mistakes. We didn’t understand each other. On top of this, we hardly saw each other because I worked the night shift at a hotel and Christine worked during the day. It was hard to work out our differences. Eventually, I had an affair. I lost my desire to preserve my marriage. Shortly after this, Christine and I had a big fight which ended our fiveyear marriage. I thought God would understand and forgive my behavior because Christine had not lived up to my expectations. C: After that big fight, I took my son and left Jojo. I was eight months pregnant with our second son. Although Jojo denied it, I knew he was having an affair. I felt humiliated and rejected. I took care of my children alone. Even though we were separated, news about him still affected me. I was mad at the world. I almost gave up church but I realized it wasn’t God’s fault. When Jojo filed for annulment, I didn’t know what to do. J: When we separated, my purpose was to start a new life. That was why I filed for annulment. I stopped going to church again. I didn’t want to have contact with the people in church. I think I was hiding from God. What was the effect of this on your children? J: My 5-year old son was confused as to why we were fighting, and why he and his mom were living in his grandmother’s house. My youngest son just ignored me. When Christine and I finally reconciled, my youngest son warmed up to me. Although both boys were doing fine in school, their grades improved. They felt more secure because we were living together as a family.
How did the annulment case affect you? J: The annulment case was very stressful and humiliating. It was like “displaying your dirty laundry in public.” C: I felt hatred toward Jojo and I fought him. I thought he was unfair. But at the back of my mind God was telling me, “I will restore this marriage.” At the same time as Jojo was running away from his faith, I became serious about mine. I persisted in learning to know God. There was no one else to go to but Him. I tried to find myself and I prayed but I got lonely that I attempted a new relationship. I soon realized it was a stupid thing to do. I enrolled in a Bible school for two years. I read the Bible every day. I became closer to God and also made new friends. I learned to pray with my sons and to fast. I prayed every night that God would convict my husband and that he would repent. My relationship with
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Left: Jojo and Christine with their children.
Make a Difference marriage won’t be easy. We still have unanswered questions but knowing God gives us the confidence that things will work out fine. I thank God that He gave me a second chance to be right with Him and my family. What have you learned from your experience? J: I learned that God loves us and it is really His grace that brought us back to Him. When I sinned and hid from Him, He searched for me. He convicted me of my sins and I repented and restored my relationship with Him. I could have avoided these problems if I stayed in church and followed a basic principle: Don’t have sex if you are not married! But I didn’t follow that and it messed up my life. C: When you are not in church, you do whatever you like but it’s not beneficial. Our experience made me realize that respect is important in marriage. We have to respect each other’s strengths and weaknesses. There are times in the office that I get so absorbed with work that I forget to send Jojo a message. I am trying to adjust to married life again. I am also trusting God to keep Jojo away from temptation and to continue to work in our lives.
Jesus and my spiritual family helped me go through the difficult times in my life. What happened after your marriage was annulled? J: It took six years before the annulment was granted. I thought I would be happy to be free at last but I felt empty and alone. I asked myself, “is this really what I want?” I realized it wasn’t what God wanted for me. I thought of Christine and my sons. I wanted to reconcile with her. I repented and went back to church. I had counseling from a pastor about my desire to reconcile. He advised me to take it slowly and to restore my relationship with God first. I did. I read my Bible regularly. I attended the church’s small group fellowships. When I felt that I was stable and my mind was clear, I visited Christine and asked her about the possibility of working out our relationship. I wooed her again. I sent her flowers and cards. I asked her out on dates. C: At first, I wasn’t sure if he was serious. I didn’t know whether to believe him or not. I prayed a lot. Our situation was difficult but I was able to forgive him. After nine long years, he asked me to marry him again. J: It doesn’t mean we don’t fight anymore but we have learned our lesson now. We both know that
J: I had to learn to be more tolerant. I had to accept Christine for who she is. We also had to work on our finances. We had to learn that we have to be careful how we treat each other. We had to become committed to learning what would help our relationship become stronger. What advice can you give couples who are going through difficult situations? J: Be guided by God’s principle: marriage is for keeps. Acquire an understanding of what married life is all about. Stay respectful and tolerant. Be patient. Ask guidance from godly people. Make a conscious decision to work things out and be determined to keep your family. You can depend on God’s grace to help you. C: Be humble. Swallow your pride. Sometimes you get hurt about something that actually doesn’t mean anything. It’s how you interpret what your husband says. Submit to your husband. I don’t always agree with my husband’s decision and we discuss things but he has the final decision. I’d rather that God deals with him if he is wrong rather than with me for not submitting to his decisions. I had to recognize that my husband is the leader of our family, not me. And you have to pray for your family no matter how busy your schedule is. J: I fill the role of the king or head of the family but I should be a gentle king not lording it over my wife or children. I should be very patient. I should stand humbly before God because He gave me a second chance to be right with Him and my family.
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Body & Soul
Nutrition for a Healthy Heart by Emelita Ong-Lavilla RN-D
Emmie giving a lecture on nutrition.
Emelita Ong-Lavilla works as a Supervising Dietitian at Philippine General Hospital Nutrition Education, Training and Research Division, Dietary Department. She explains how food affects our hearts.
Heart disease (CVD) is the term for a large group of diseases affecting the heart and blood vessels. The most common are hypertension and coronary artery disease. Some of the risk factors for heart disease are things beyond our control like heredity, age, and gender. However, many of the risk factors are things that we can control such as: obesity, stress, lack of exercise, elevated cholesterol and triglyceride levels, smoking, alcohol intake, and faulty eating habits. The following nutritional advice can be used as a starting point in controlling some of the risk factors: 1. Eat foods low in fat and cholesterol. Consume only about 3-4 matchbox size portions of lean meat, fish or poultry a day. Fatty portions should be removed; non-fat or low fat milk is advisable and limit eggs to 2-3 pieces per week. Steaming, boiling and baking are better than frying. Avoid foods high in fat like cream, gravies, coconut milk, chips, French fries, chicharon, and lechon. 2. Increase intake of fiber-rich foods. Fiber speeds up elimination of wastes; it lowers blood sugar and cholesterol. It provides an early feeling of fullness.
Healthy diets need not be expensive. Here are two recipes which you can try.
Ensaladang Pinoy 1 Cup each of kangkong and malunggay leaves
Dressing:
2 pieces tomatoes, sliced
½ Cup vinegar
1 piece cucumber, sliced 1 piece singkamas, julienne cut
¼ Cup sugar Salt and black pepper to taste
Procedure: Steam kangkong and malunggay leaves, then cool. Combine with other ingredients and serve with dressing.
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Eat vegetables like malunggay, sayote tops, carrots, gabi leaves, kangkong; fruits like cashew, guava, papaya, atis, guyabano, dalanghita; whole-grain cereals like oatmeal, unpolished rice, and corn. You can eat as much as 3 cups of raw vegetables or 1½ cups boiled or steamed, and three servings of fruits per day. 3. Limit intake of salty foods. Sodium is the component of salt which should be controlled. Eating foods high in sodium increases blood pressure. Limit intake of canned goods, smoked, and salt-cured foods like corned beef, pickled vegetables, ham, bacon, tinapa, tocino, sausage, and hotdog. Read food labels to find out salt content. Watch out for the hidden sources of sodium such as baking powder, baking soda, monosodium glutamate or preservatives like sodium nitrate and sodium benzoate. Minimize use of condiments like salt, soy sauce, patis, vetsin, and bagoong by trying out herbs and spices like garlic, onion, pepper, bay leaf, thyme, rosemary, basil, ginger, curry powder, vinegar, turmeric etc. to enhance the flavor of different dishes. 4. Maintain desirable body weight. Excessive body weight is associated with hypertension, heart diseases, stroke and other ailments. Here’s a simple formula to help adults determine their desirable body weight: Males: 5 ft = 106 lbs. Add or subtract 6 lbs for every inch higher or lower than 5 feet. Females: 5 ft = 100 lbs. Add or subtract 5 lbs for every inch higher or lower than 5 feet. Eating is one of our great pleasures, but we have to be guided by discipline and moderation so that it becomes a means to good health.
Malunggay Juice 5 Cups malunggay leaves 2 pieces pandan leaves 10 Cups water 15 pieces calamansi Sugar to taste Procedure: Boil malunggay leaves and pandan in 10 cups water for 10 mins. Add juice from calamansi. Sweeten with sugar or honey according to taste. Chill and serve.
Health or Wealth by Johnson Li
F
inancial planning is really very simple. It all comes down to priorities, putting needs before wants and facing your individual situation with brutal honesty. You have to see things as they are, not as you want them to be. For instance, sometimes I neglect my health concerns to save money for something I really want to buy. Then, I get into trouble. One night, I woke up with heavy pain in my back. It was 2am, and I did what all husbands do; I woke up my wife to massage my back! She started to rub my back, but she was still half asleep. I told her to do it harder and put more effort into the job. “I should have ridden the FX instead of walking and carrying the new office gear from the mall,” I said to myself with regret. Unfortunately, this was not the first time I had abused my body to save money. I started thinking about the supermarket I visited month ago. “Sir, hatid ko na kayo sa sasakyan”. “Thank you na lang kuya.” I answered. Then I grabbed 2-week’s worth of groceries and headed to the car. I carried all those groceries just to avoid paying a tip. I also remembered when I was in the airport. “Porter po?” I turned around and saw a porter offering his help. “Salamat na lang po.” I carried my shoulder bag, put 2 boxes of goodies on top of my trolley, grabbed 3 plastic bags and headed for the check-in counter. I didn’t want to pay excess baggage then realized that I could only check in my luggage and 1 box. I had to carry all the rest. I was jerked back to reality when my wife told me she was done massaging me, and went back to sleep. My back still hurt. I couldn’t sleep. I started to think about going back to my therapist the next day; that would cost me P600, and under time from my work. I have begun to realize that I have physical limitations. I can’t do the things that I used to do. Is it really worth it to save a little money but have to endure pain? I have come to believe that health is wealth. Taking care of our body should be the number one priority for everyone. If you are sick, you cannot work. Take an honest look at your situation. Many people who have chronic diseases and who are on lifetime meds put off buying them, trying to “control” their high blood or high blood sugar by diet. Most of the time it doesn’t work! A better method is to put your health first so that you can work harder and save money in other ways.
Love & Money Craving for Savings by Kendrick Chua
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ith this salary, how can I even think about saving?” complains Karen, a corporate secretary who works in one of the offices in Ortigas. She fully understands the importance of setting aside a part of her income but she confesses she just can’t find the discipline to do it. As a result, when there is an unexpected need, Karen resorts to borrowing. Karen adds that being in debt makes it even more difficult for her to save money. Karen’s complaint reflects the sentiment of the majority of the working class. While a modest income does make accumulation of money more challenging, it does not mean that having a high income will translate to high savings ratio. Filipinos are traditionally “spenders” and “saving” is an alien concept for most people. The good news is—saving money is NOT impossible! Here are several ways to do it. 1. Clearly classify priorities. “For you to know where you should go, know where you are first,” says one financial planner. He’s right! List your expenses and classify them as either necessities or luxuries. Don’t know which is which? Ask yourself, “Can I live without this?” If you answer yes, chances are it is a luxury and you should try to spend as little as possible on it until you’re able to achieve your savings goal. 2. Save the money from discounts. Whenever you get discounts, set aside the amount you saved. If left in your wallet, chances are you will spend it. In essence, you did not really save anything. You just had additional money to spend. Even the little amount you save from shopping wisely can accumulate to something substantial. 3. Collect loose change. Even though this is a simple idea, not many people do it. Saving coins and small bills tucked away in your pockets can potentially grow into a huge amount. In fact, you can set a goal of saving an insignificant amount a day and watch it accumulate. 4. List savings as an expense. If you’re having difficulty saving, list it under expense column. Specify an amount that you’re comfortable with. On payday, put that amount into another bank account. Better yet, set up an automatic savings arrangement with a local bank. Leaving that money in your payroll ATM makes it too easy to withdraw and spend; this will defeat the purpose. There are a lot of tricks to saving money. Starting is not always easy, it never is. But with prayer, we can certainly achieve something big.
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Q A
Five years ago my husband left me for another woman. My children and I have strained relationships. They blame me for my failed marriage. Recently, I had a relationship with another man but he too left me. I feel my life has come to a dead end.
I can only imagine how traumatic your experiences must have been. Oftentimes, the common response is to give up and live a life of helplessness. Let me say first of all that like the rest of the human race, you have made the mistake of finding ultimate fulfillment in another person. People, things and objects cannot really make us happy. God made us to be fulfilled only with Him as the center of our lives. We try to invent our own kind of fulfillment apart from Him. This is why we are constantly frustrated. Your life is not over! The God who made us is the God of second chances. In order for you to have a fresh start, make God the center of the rest of your life. How do you do that? • Establish the most important relationship of all— relationship with God through His Son Jesus Christ. Recognize that you have broken His commands and led your life as if you were in charge. Give your life to Him. Jesus paid the penalty for all your sins, failures and shortcomings. • Rebuild everything else on the foundation of your relationship with Jesus Christ as your most important priority. Then put your family, relationships, work, career, your leisure next after that. Then and only then can you find the energy and focus that each of these things needs. • Trust God even when the situations are hard and difficult. Rebuilding broken relationships takes time. But God is saying to you: I will never leave you nor forsake you. (Hebrews 13:5) You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. (Phil. 4:13)
Usapang Pamilya DVD collection Volume 1
To Start A Relationship with Christ Admit you have sinned. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23
Features 3 family issues: • Unos (Preventing marital unfaithfulness)
Believe in Jesus. “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish; but have eternal life.” John 3:16b
• Lamat (Restoring broken marriage)
Confess and leave your sin behind. Stop sinning. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just, and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9 To continue growing in your relationship with Christ, fellowship with other believers, read the Bible and pray!
• LQ (Resolving conflict) Available at House of Praise, OMF Lit Bookshops, PCBS, Amazing Grace Bookstore, St. Francis Bookstore and APMedia Office. Also available online at www. usapangpamilyavideos.multiply.com.
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