The path to reconciliation

“I’m sorry. I was wrong. Please forgive me.” These words are often cited as facilitating the process of forgiveness. While helpful, they are woefully inadequate when attempting a reconciliation in the face of serious wounding and betrayal, such as infidelity and/or abuse.

When an individual has been betrayed, their world turns upside down, their trust in their betrayer is shattered, and they are plagued with grief, pain, confusion, self-doubts, longings, and lots of questions about how something so terrible could have happened to them. Forgiveness is a mere starting point on the long journey toward healing.

A huge gulf exists between forgiveness and reconciliation, bridged only by rebuilding trust. Trust must be re-established prior to reconciliation, which can only be done when the betrayer acknowledges to their partner how they understand their actions affected their partner’s life (body, mind, emotions, spirit, their understanding of trust, relationships, intimacy, and even their own self-worth), and they must express a genuine sense of devastation at having put their partner through that pain. Only then can reconciliation begin. If you have experienced the trauma of infidelity or abuse, you don't have to struggle alone. At The Summit, many of our counselors specialize in working with trauma survivors, helping them heal and rebuild their lives. Learn more about our services at summitcounseling. org!