My lack of electrical knowledge is shocking

MIKE TASOS

When youngest son Greg reported that one of his friends was going to work for Pike, my puzzled reaction was: “I didn’t know he was fond of wheelbarrows, sod, and all things greenery.”

“No Dad, not that Pike. He’s going to work for the electrical people,” Greg corrected me.

So, no dealing with Mulch and chinch bugs. Instead, the friend will be playing with enough electricity to fry him like he’s strapped into Ol’ Sparky, or whatever the electric chair was named at many prisons. He’ll be in one of those buckets attached to trucks and then hope his training taught him good from bad in terms of wires that is.

I have no idea why there are times of year when static electricity is on us like some type of plague. Touch something randomly and sparks fly from your fingertips like you’re immersed in a remake of “The Wizard of Oz” or fiddle-deep in a Charlie

Daniels Band song.

With a little “pop” like that being so unnerving, a heaping helping from Zeus is unimaginable.

Skip Caray, the late Braves announcer who was so crochety he never failed to amuse, was synonymous with Georgia Power as he shilled: “Don’t step on downed power lines.” Skip found the tagline hilarious, doubtless even more mirthful after he had imbibed a few. Sure do miss Skip.

I’m pretty much all thumbs when it comes to all things electricity. I’m usually pretty good with changing a lightbulb, providing I don’t outrun my coverage and “square peg-round hole” things by doing the uber-manly gesture of using too much wattage.

Bottom line is that electricity scares the bejezus out of me. The fear is justified and stems from a past incident that culminated with me prone on the floor, foggily looking up at the ladder I’d fell (more like flown) from and, for some reason that could be written up in a medical journal, I smelled lemons.

All I had wanted to do was change a ceiling light fixture. Zeus had other ideas and even though it wasn’t a downed power line, I got zonked when I grabbed the wrong wire and as citrus smells invaded my olfactory, knew I had made a rotten choice.

Whenever there are electrical problems in the house, I take no chances after my brush with getting thunderstruck. I call an electrician and take no chances. Not only do I leave the room to let him work, I leave the house or, better yet, leave the county and hope I am rewarded with light when I return and flip the switch.

I marvel at guys who can come into a house and work some sort of magic by getting the lights back on.

Me? I’m an easy mark and unscrupulous handyman’s eyes light up like a slot machine when I say: “It’s broken. Can you fix it?”

As inept as I am with repairs, it’s no wonder going to Home Depot is in no way comfortable or therapeutic. No sir, it can be as traumatizing and nauseating as flashing lights in the rear-view mirror when you’re going 80mph just for the heck of it.

I’ve been pretty fortunate with the repair folks who have helped us. There were a few occasions when I was being worked over and I played along with the charade.

It seems like any chicanery aimed towards me can be nipped in the bud.

“Let me show you how to change that light fixture. I’ll squeeze us some fresh lemonade for when you’re done.”

Mike Tasos has lived in Forsyth County for more than 30 years. He’s an American by birth and considers himself a Southerner by the grace of God. He can be reached at miketasos55@gmail.com.

The Ecology Of Sandy Springs

What: Join this exploration into the ecology of Sandy Springs led by Alan Toney, a master naturalist. Explore the loss of the original pristine forest and the regrowth of the mature second-growth forest. Discover what’s living in your own backyard and how proper landscaping can encourage as well as discourage wildlife from taking up residence. Learn about the relationship between raptors and crows, the importance of native bees and insects, how to get rid of those pesky invasives and more.

When: Tuesday, March 28, 7 p.m.

Where: Lost Corner Preserve, 7300 Brandon Mill Road, Sandy Springs

More info: sandyspringsga.gov

COMMUNITY:

SNAP!DRAGON’S GARDEN OPENING RECEPTION

What: Spring has sprung at the Dunwoody Community Garden. Visit the event for an afternoon of Instagramworthy selfies, free popcorn and garden-themed goodies for kids. Moondog Growlers will be on site with beverages available for purchase. Exhibit runs until April 1.

Where: Brook Run Park, 4770 North Peachtree Road, Dunwoody

When: Saturday, March 25, 11 a.m.-2 p.m.

More info: dunwoodyga.gov

Healthy Forest Lecture With Interpretative Hike

What: If we understand the soil of today, then we can better understand the forest of tomorrow. This program will cover seed bank, soil science, soil horizon, soil testing, limiting factors, mycorrhizae, richness, biodiversity, urban forestry, fungal network (mycelium), nutrient uptake, nutrient fixing and root grafts. Participants can submit soil samples to UGA and begin a soil composition index.

When: Friday, March 24, 12:30 p.m.

Where: Lost Corner Preserve, 7300 Brandon Mill Road, Sandy Springs

More info: sandyspringsga.gov

Dunwoody Farmers Market

What: The Dunwoody Farmers Market brings together a variety of vendors selling local and organic fruits, veggies and produce, coffee, breakfast, baked goods, prepared meals, frozen treats, eggs, grass-fed meat and fresh seafood.

When: Saturday, March 25, 10 a.m.12 p.m.’

Where: Brook Run Park, 4770 North Peachtree Road, Dunwoody

More info: dunwoodyga.gov

Fairy House Or Gnome Home Workshop

What: After a long, cold winter, the fairy houses and gnome homes are ready for a refresh. Bring your imagination to the first Spring Fairy House and Gnome Home event. Kids and adults will be provided with natural materials like seed pods, pinecones, bark and nuts to build a structure to take home or to leave at Lost Corner for all to enjoy. Registration is encouraged but walk-ins are welcome.

When: Saturday, April 1, 10 a.m.

Where: Lost Corner Preserve, 7300 Brandon Mill Road, Sandy Springs

Cost: $15 per person, $30 per family More info: sandyspringsga.gov

Artistic Affair

What: Building off the success of last year’s groundbreaking fundraising event, Spruill Center for the Arts presents “Artistic Affair: An Arts Experience” to be held at Factory Atlanta. The fundraiser and auction will include a DJ, magician and fortune tellers, live art painting, open bar, hors d’oeuvres and more.

When: Friday, March 24, 7-10 p.m.

Where: Factory Atlanta, 5616 Peachtree Road, Chamblee

Cost: $75

More info: spruillarts.org/artisticaffair

JUST FOR FUN:

STUDIO SERIES: MICHELLE MALONE

What: Closing the Studio Series, songwriter and modern-day guitar hero Michelle Malone brings her unique mix of roadhouse rock ’n roll, blues, gospel, country-soul and folk to the stage.

When: Thursday, March 23, 8 p.m.

Where: Studio Theatre, 1 Galambos Way, Sandy Springs

Cost: $20-30

More info: sandyspringsga.gov

CITY SPRINGS THEATRE COMPANY’S ‘SPAMALOT’

What: Join King Arthur, the Knights of the Round Table and the glamorous Lady of the Lake as they turn the Arthurian legend on its ear in their quest for the Holy Grail. Along the way they encounter dancing showgirls, flying cows, killer rabbits and assorted French people. The production is the winner of the 2005 Tony Award for Best Musical.

When: Up to March 26, times vary

Where: Byers Theatre, 1 Galambos Way, Sandy Springs

Cost: $37-100

More info: sandyspringsga.gov

ROSWELL DANCE THEATRE PRESENTS ‘MARY POPPINS’

What: Follow Mary Poppins as she adds sunshine, adventure and magic to the previously solemn and serious Banks home. Join Jane and Michael as practically perfect Mary introduces them to the charming Bert. They explore the rooftops of London, enjoy a spoonful of sugar, fly a kite and do it all in the most delightful way.

When: March 30-April 1, times vary

Where: Byers Theatre, 1 Galambos Way, Sandy Springs

Cost: $30

More info: citysprings.com

‘THE NICETIES’ AT STAGE DOOR THEATRE

What: Zoe is a young Black student at a liberal arts college. What begins as a polite clash in perspectives of the founding fathers between her and her liberal, tenured professor explodes into a tightrope of what it means to hear and what it means to listen.

When: Up to April 2, 7:30-9:30 p.m.

Where: Stage Door Theatre, 5339 Chamblee Dunwoody Road, Dunwoody

Cost: $35 for adults, $20 for students, $15 for children

More info: stagedoortheatrega.org/ the-niceties/

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