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and some know only about as much English as we do Turkish (which isn't a lot). Some dynamic within the group, though, has kept us making an effort to get acquainted with these particular Turkish twentysomethings with whom we feel so familiar. What sets this particular group of friends apart from most is the language barrier. These people with whom we've developed real relationships, who we care about, who we consider true friends, can't always understand what we are saying. I can't even have an outright conversation with a few of them. It's difficult for me to determine when they're joking or not, and if and when it's at my expense. It's hard to know how well-spoken they are, or whether they're interesting to talk to. Are they socially liberal? Accepting? Smart? These would be major qualifications for making English-speaking friends. These would be things I could infer almost without effort upon meeting an English-speaking person. But in this case, it takes real work to find out traits like these. Then I realize... they don't know these things about us either, and I am puzzled by this. What do they see in us, then? If the verbal expression of our ideas is blocked in this social setting, then what is left over that makes us interesting? And why do we love hanging out together so much? In the search to answer these questions, I've been broaching the subject with fellow students. I've found that most exchange students have a pretty similar attitude toward the language barrier. Some are not bothered by it. Some even seem to thrive on the challenge. For most others it's hell at times, but it usually presents us with a challenge we know we signed up for, a sort of beautiful puzzle to be solved. “You feel like a caveman,” one student explains, half joking. “It is frustrating....” “...sometimes you feel useless.”
We want to engage and to jarring realization that you are not tuned in to the crowd, to the group that surrounds you, makes you realize how much you really do want to be included. We want to engage and to be understood, whether by fellow students or even by complete strangers. It makes a difference. At other times, when we are again in that comfortable cloud of the English language, the presence of even one Turkish friend shifts the conversation. Certain vocabulary or expressions are lost on one another, and discussing any complex issue like politics, philosophy, or even our personal history and feelings becomes an exercise in translation. This blockade of communication can have beautiful consequences, however. Certain references, phrases and slang are so culturally specific that we can no longer use them as conversational crutches. As a native English speaker, I find that I am forced to be more eloquent, more sincere, and to search deeper for the words with the most clarity when expressing my feelings or ideas. In this way, the multilingual environment holds my English to a higher standard. But it is the thought process, not just the speech, that undergoes a change.
“You kind of walk around inside your own head, in a little bubble,” is how I heard another student describe it. Even here at Koç, where most of the student body switches gracefully between Turkish and English, the barrier persists. There are often times when Turkish is the only sound you hear, which can be unsettling. As one exchanger explained to me, “[It's] because we are so used to being able to pick up on things. I mean, even if you're not eavesdropping all the time, you can still understand what is going on around you, you can pick up on things, on others' conversations.” But here, you can't. “It's like being in a state of oblivion.”
Humor might present the best example of this (or flirting might be a better example, I'm not sure...). In either case, it becomes clear pretty quickly that things like sarcasm, ambivalence and 'playing hard to get' can really suffer when a language barrier is present. And since a coy attitude or sarcastic remark tends to get lost in translation (and can simply be perceived as rude), I find myself being more sincere in my verbal communication. I tend to speak more simply, more honestly and, although eye-rolling can usually be understood in any culture, I feel myself drifting away from old habits of trying to remain cool and funny at all times. Much more often I catch myself looking friends directly in the eye and saying things like “I like being with you,” “It's good to see you,” “I want to hang out with you again,” or “I'd love to go there/do that with you,” since “That'd be cool,” “Yeah, I guess,” or a shrug and a nod just aren't always assertive enough to be understood.
It seems this abrupt exemption from the masses, this
When asked for their impression of the
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- 9 "$ 3 *$
language barrier and how it affects them, most students can't answer right away. “That's such a broad question,” I've been told. Because it is apparent, after having been in Turkey for a few months now, that the ability to express ourselves clearly is deeply important to us, maybe more than we could ever realize at home. Because at home we don't spend so much time thinking about how to speak, or thinking about thinking or thinking about talking. We just do it. Here, though, “it's the process of thinking that dominates,” one student explains. “It changes your outlook on how life is lived. You become consumed by the issue of expressing your daily feelings, and expressing them appropriately.” We spend our entire lives searching for our place, looking for the perfect niche, the friends, the relationships that make us feel useful, comfortable, wanted and at home. It is a common need, especially for young people, to find and be around those who allow us to freely express ourselves. So why, then, do we feel so happy with friends who don't know where we come from, and might not always understand what we're saying? Is it just more comfortable to be around people who engage on a more superficial level? Or could it be that talking isn't as important as we think it is? The exchange experience certainly forces us to redefine friendship and
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communication. We all see now that friendship is not exclusively dependent on language, nor does it discriminate based on background or culture. It is apparent to me, at least, that superficial conversation is not synonymous with superficial interaction. The speech may be shallow, but the experience is not, and neither is the relationship. And now I'm starting to think the “barrier” might not even be a barrier in the true sense, because as much as it blocks from free communication, it offers a path I've never seen in my Englishspeaking home. It teaches you how to deal with the frustration, how to assimilate. It is humbling. There is chaos, confusion, frustration, even sadness. It’s easy to get down on yourself for not having really studied your Turkish vocabulary, not being outgoing enough, not being smooth or cool enough. But from within the whirlwind of foreign words and baffling situations comes some clarity. It teaches you how to represent yourself. In the face of a language barrier, we are forced to learn how to behave more like ourselves, because speech can't represent us like we're used to. Sitting at Ogrenci Merkezi with yet another exchange friend, I have a different picture of the exchange experience. This student all but rolls his eyes
S
when I mention homesickness, casually saying with a touch of humor â&#x20AC;&#x153;Oh I haven't been home in years.â&#x20AC;? He's a much more experienced international traveller than I am, for sure, and probably more than most of the exchange students at Koç this semester. He says one of the main reasons he loves being abroad is not only the chance to learn, but that chance to teach. As cheesy as it sounds, being a foreigner means you become an ambassador, a representative of your culture. This means we cannot separate teaching from learning. Being present here means that we are teaching our Turkish friends about our own culture, and being immersed in a Turkish student body means we are forever being taught. Koç students teach us about themselves without even trying. Casually chatting about post-graduation plans or trips home for Spring Break would usually be routine small talk. At Koç, though, a light conversation between friends is a cultural education. Hearing about Koç students' households and families, about the food they eat on holidays and how they spend their weekends has taught me more about Turkish family life than I could have expected. And just as it would at home, conversation between students often turns to the future.
er languages besides Turkish, Turkish students who speak English, and Turks who barely speak English at all. These relationships, tricky and, at times, exhausting, all different, have something in common. They are friendships, undoubtedly. They develop, they grow, they progress regardless of the specific cocktail of languages contained within them. Now I am convinced that there is no better motivation for learning a foreign language than genuine friendship. We share ourselves most completely and comfortably through language, and there are few things as frustrating as feeling a strong bond with another person, feeling a kinship, similarity in tastes, interests, humor, but also feeling the void of a language barrier between you. Even when it comes to my Turkish friends who speak per-
fect English, I know I cannot hope to understand their culture on a deeper level without learning their language. The differences in culture can be an appeal among friends, since we are all curious about other people, especially from other cultures. One of the most important aspects of a friendship is a willingness to take time to understand another person. This includes learning their language. The effort we put into learning Turkish, in this case, can be a demonstration of friendship. Since learning a foreign language is so complicated, frustrating, and discouraging much of the time, maybe we need these strained friendships to remind us why it's worth it to study a new language. Maybe its the very desperation of befriending someone who belongs to a foreign culture, of wanting to be included in their lives and understand them, that keeps us studying Turkish, and keeps us excited to learn about the culture, both in school and from our friends. The friendships we've formed in Turkey are relationships based on sharing. We have learned that nitiating a friendship with another person, especially when you know a cultural or language barrier exists between you, takes courage, and is something to be valued. - 9 "$ 3 *$
Turkish friends have shared with me what their parents expect of them and what they expect of themselves after graduation. These conversations offer some truly unique insight because of the cultural divide between us. In comparing and contrasting our very different lives we find ways to explain the differences and teach one another certain words and norms from our respective homes. It cannot be conversation about our futures without also being a discussion of American and Turkish culture, attitudes toward higher education, family dynamics, the list goes on... And so, in the span of about a week, I spend time with American students who only speak English, exchange students who speak and English and oth-
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LKBAHAR 2012
| ARA
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76
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LKBAHAR 2012
| ARA
77
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LKBAHAR 2012
| ARA
81
82
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LKBAHAR 2012
LKBAHAR 2012
| ARA
83
84
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LKBAHAR 2012