PERTH, WA: September 22, 1988
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Guest editorials The Universe (London) The Catholic Weekly (Sydney)
SUDA
e
CRISS
WHATEVER the Sudanese Government may say about the generosity of the British Government in giving aid for the Khartoum disaster no one can criticise ordinary citizens. People in Britain nd Ire/. nd have given generously to the joint appeal launched by the m ifor charities. And readers of The Universe have responded magnificantly to the joint appeal with Cafod launched last week. To date £60,000 has been sent in just 4 d ys.
It is at times like this that attention is focused on the business of aid from the develop d countries in the Third World.
There is no doubt that the one m ifor factor which would contribute more to the relief of this disaster, and others in the Third World, would be an end to the civil war raging in the south of Sudan. Third World governments, guilty of repression, corruption nd msl- dministration must t ke some of the blame for the disasters which so often overtake their countries. Where their nations need men nd women of vision they are so oft n served by p per tigers. But the outrage expressed by the Sudanese government is a genuine expression of a simmering ger throughout the d veloping world at the way Western countries use their wealth nd power to dominate their affairs nd then refuse to help clear up the mess. The wealth is used by d flating demand for commoditi s produced by d veloping countrk s forcing them to reduce prices, or grow cash crops to sell oversea nd not to fe d their own p ople. Are we in the West willing to pay more? Th power is used by destabilising gov mm nt , offering upport to civil insurg nt - the Communist or/dis s guilty h r as th w st, nd exploiting political clout to Western adv, t
of pri ti .i m ntal
Pope John Paul 11·s
Trip to southern Africa Zimbabwe Botswana Lesotho Swaziland
-=-
Harare
•
BABWE
'We back victi s of racism'
GABORONE, Botswa a (NC): Po Jo n Paul II, giving stro g support to refugees fro apart eid, said t e church must stand firm with victims of racism an avoid commise with "any m of social injusf ce".
Nampula
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the plight of tho e v -ho are subj ted b · law to dis rimination. nd I gladl ' upport you in your d ire to b close to tho e who are unjust! , deprived of their legitimate right and la d ent livin conditions" he said. Durin the irst half of hi v n day trip, the vera time rth id
the pop called Botswana an "island of peace in a troubled ea" and a "ray of hop " for all rica.
'
But i economi and "mu t political pr include the religious dimension", h add d.
• Bul�wayo Maputo
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Applications are invited from Year 12 e tern ustra ia school students ho hope to pur e te ·a ucati in Perth in 1989 for the
C ntac :
7
By Dolores LECKEY
Sexuality - the fact that we relate to each other as man or as woman - is at the heart of human and religious experience. Within marriage, an important consideration is ho" sexuality relates to intimac:y, the willingness to let down barriers and share with one
another It is in the context of such intimacv that I will discus marital sexualitv. Sexualitv is rooted in the verv origins of life. The Book or Genesis discloses that God desired to make humankind in surh a way a to reflect God. the souece or all life. "Let us make man
[i.e, humankind) in the likeness of our«rlve,, ..• so, male and female hP created them," (Gen 1:2627)
From the beginning, then. our identitv as human beings has. been expressed through our sexuality in the basic sense of the term. While all intimate rela-
-
and
tionships am touched bv s xual awareness, not ail arc rharac.tr-rised b, Sp" ifir, physical sexual intimac.v in ·the wav that marriage is in th •• Christian way of life. In far.t, the unique expression of marital intirnarv i\ sexual activity. In this wav it differs from other relationships
in whirh the depths of intimacy ma� be present
- for example fru-ndship or parenthood, For married persons. the ,exual relationship L, an important path to splfknowledge, and potentially a pathway to the knowledge of God. Whv is this so? One reason Ls that sexual
engagement in marriage b a \\'BY to be known bv ca< h other. We know and are known thoroughly body. mind. spirit. emo tions - if we let it he so. One's whole being can thus be given to another Ann Ulanov; the psychologist. has written: "We are opened and seen in a total way cornpara-
hie onlv to our earla relation' with a lo, mother, or to a profou rehgiou, expenenre, are e po, d for "hat • are with foibl fauk possibilitic,. talen
beauties,
irnperfectios - io the flesh, wilh!M
disguise or hiding."
Irr accounts for the devastating effects of a failed marriage, "Ont• feel abused at the verv core of one's being," · When not abused. however, one can grow through the sexual bond from self-centredness to active compassion and care for the other Pope John Paul II noted thio
Sexuality is a •ital inrredient in the makeup of human beinis. The powerful
force
motiutes
people to seek out
companionship with the opposite sex, to marry and
create a
lifetime relationship.
when h •. said that husbands and wives grow as persons, mutuallv, one for the other, through their bodies. \\'hile there are many
"av, of being intimate
and present to one another in marriage. sexual expression remains a principal means. It joins husband
and wife in a sense of oneness. The couple's se ual bond also is a means of cutting through frustrations and o[ giving each other a sense of worth. Still another reason whv sexual activitv is a path to intimarv ..:. and to God - is that it is a
wav for husband or wife to . delight in giving unencumbered attention to one another. In a sense it resembles contemplation, for one person becomes whollv concentrated on another. The late Father Thomas Merton and others have written about the neces-
sitv of genuine Iv coming to know another person, allowing ourselves to be affee ted by and to affect that person. This consideration might well be mentioned in the context of this topic: intimacy and the sexual interchange of marriage.
opportunity to meet an "other", the sexual other. who on one level rs most different, but who also represents the lost part of our 0\\'11 selv
the
Our desire to belong to another, to give of ourselves in marriage ts, I believe, part of a larger desire, that of a union with God.
exploit another person and to be exploited.
as though another person doesn't really matter all that much.
It is also possible to
Of course, few people are perfect in this. Almost all happily married people will tell you that they had to grow in their marriages, that they had to learn to be profoundly considerate of their spouse.
Marriage
offers
\\'e yearn to look upon the fac.e of God and our moments of inurnacv and friendship and se,.:. ual intensity in marriage prepare us for that moment. That is the moment when \\"P. will SS)O "Before your face questions die away," (C.S. Lewis. "fill We Have Faces".)
DECIDING ON LIFESTYLE
Amid a jumble of social messages about what life's sexual dimension means, it would be easy to miss an essential message.
In. the early teens '!oYS disco�er that iirls aren't so bad after ,II, while, at dances, iirls don't always hare to dance with iirls anymore .. Tb,s is time when youth befin to derelop close relationships with the opposite sex. Le,rnini to un_derstand their sexuality plays an important role in the /ires of these rapidly cllaniini teenarers. Mawrini youth often w,11 more. throuih , series of close friendships with members of the opposite sex they io throurh tl!e difficult process of becommi adults.
!"•
During the teenage years, young people approach the important topic of sexuality from a variety of different angles. Most teens are intensely interested in learning what sexuality is all about. They also are struggling with their own self-identity - with discovering what being a man and a woman involves. They are beginning the lifelong process of making decisions about intimacy and lifestyles and commitment and marriage. Teens also are very interested in discussing the kinds of decisions people make about sexual behaviour and the kinds of values people actually live hy when it comes to sexuality. An exchange hetween adult� and teens on this suhjert can become a forum for the explorahon of values.
8
,s
Religious educators and parents can play a part in helping teenagers to think about sexuality. At the same time, people often report it is difficult to initiate a good discussion about sexuality. Why is communicating about sexuality so difficult? What are some of the barriers to a good discussion of the topic? 1. Sexuality is an intensely private matter. It can be embarrassing. Teens - and adults too - often feel shy and unsure about discussing a topic that means so much to them. 2. Society subtly gets across the idea that, of r.our«P, the sophishcated person know, all about sexuality and relationship, Therefore, prople may well be unwilling to confess they don't know every1hing there is to know about these topk., a. 1 '" ma be afraid to appear
The Record, September 22, 1988
vulnerable before their peers. They may hesitate to bring up a question about sexuality because they fear ridicule by others. Educators who want to initiate a discussion about sexuality might consider using the following questions to initiate the topic: • What does sexuality mean to you? Does the word simply refer to a bodily function? Or does it have a broader meaning? • How does the fact that you are a young man or a young woman affect the way you relate with other people? • What does the v ·ord "intimacy" really mean? In what way, ts intimacy a broader concept than sexuality? • Do you thmk sexuality is taken seriously pnough? • What are the role, of sexuality in marriage?
One social message indicates that life's sexual dimension is something to sing about For song after song tells of the passions that draw people together or drive them apart. Another message often is found in advertising: It subtly, or not so subtly, suggests that people happily in touch with,
or
their sexualitv drive nice can, drink special kinds of liquor or spend all their leisure time in glamorous kinds of places (ski lodges. ocean beaches). Again, you can easily get the message in society that sexuality is funny. For it becomes the basis of endless jokes and double entendres. Sometimes the message implied here could be that sexuality is not to be taken seriously. Then there is the
Answer to THE query
message that ,exuality, in and of its If, is off-colour and not to llfl mentioned, quite different message finds sexual· ity rather private and personal. This list of messages one can pick up about sexuality could go on and on. It's no wonder that human sexuality is a confounding subject. For sexua lily is mysterious. The process of discovering its mean· ing in one's own fife - what it is to be a
man or a woman, and
to be that in a relation·
That memorabl autumn afternoon, • children and I were I the kitchen where j usually met after tli ca me home frol
school.
My four children 1' helped themselves to d afternoon assortment I snacks and drinks al we were bantering bii and forth as we often d> Then. with no adva1' warning, rnv younl daughter asked f
thrightly m a boom
voice. • 1um. ho," people make love?" I paused. \fter moment. I prrx 1,c<l,-d answer mv child's qui
ship - is a pro< e,s that LS never quite complete. An individual's understanding of sc · uahty, after all. is closelv lined to selfunderstanding - and who ever reaches the absolute fulfilment of self-understanding? Sexuality also has caused · downright confusion for countless numbers of people.
So much in literature tells of the problems and the anxieties people endure in personal relationlion to the best of my ability. But secretly I was wishing I \\'85 anywhere
else.
Nonetheless I felt it was important to answer then because I had decided long before to handle my children's questions about sexuality as naturally as possible. · And for me that meant when it arose wrthin our normal conversation. I wanted my children to grow up ·-...ith some care[ull) thought-out ideas and attitudes about the place of spxualil\ in their lives. I wanted them to see something of its
By David GIBSON ships.at least partially due to problems over sexuality, When sexuality is the topic under consideration, part of the confusion is generated by a lack of clarity about the context in which it is being considered.
Does human sexuality exit in and for itself? Or does human sexuality need to be
breadth and beauty and dignity. I hoped my children would learn that Christians make decisions about sexuality in a special context. The experience has stayed with me for almost 10 years now. It is a poignant reminder for me of what a paradox
sexuality Ls.
For sexuality has many ramificahons. it can refer simply to a phvsical act between a husband and wife, But sexuality also means much more. \s Ors James and Whitehead Evelyn observe in their book
considered within a broader context? Many writers in the Church suggest that human sexuality does need to be considered in a broader context: its relation to intimacy in a fuller sense than just the physical sexual sense; its reflection of commitment and profound love; its link to procreation; its special role in marriage.
There isn't space here to explore all those points. But let's take a look at the role of sexuality in building intimacy within a marriage. There are two basic points about sexuality to make here: first, that life's sexual dimension can become the sou= of considerable happiness; second, that this dimension of life can prove a sou= of misery. Most people more or less understand that it is possible both to
By Katharine BIRD Christian Life Patterns: The Psychological Challenges and Religious Invitations of Adult Life, sexuality IS part and parcel of human life. The Whiteheads point out that our psychological outlook on life L� closely conner led to being male and female: it has to do with who we are and what we want in life.
Sexuality also is closely linked with the basic hunger for intimacy our need for close relationships with other people. The Whiteheads quote psychologist Erik Erikson in describing inti· macy as the "capacity to commit oneself" in concrete partnerships and to develop the ethical strength to stand hi these commitments.
trulv care for another and. to be cared for.
Most people more or less understand that there are selfish ways of expressing one's sexuality. But they suspect there must be more to sexuality than that. In to learning express sexuality in marriage, people can choose to live as though another person really does matter in an essential \\'3.Y or For commitment to another may call for significant sacrifice. The pastoral counsellors observe that sexual love is often used as a metaphor of human intimacy. The Whiteheads note, for example, that any form ofintimacy involves revealing oneself to another person. They call this the "anxious moment of selfrevelation ··. All forms of intimacy also require being willing to accept others as they are and a mutual give-and-take. Also, intimacy r.an change people
It would be difficult to find married people who didn't have to overcome some self· ishness in their marriages as they worked toward real intimacy in all aspects of
and that can be frightening, the Whiteheads say. In the award-winning movie, On Golden Pond, for instance. the relationship between the husband and wife, the Thayers. demonstrates the possibilities of intimacy. The Thayers, portrayed splendidly by Henry Fonda and Katharine Hepburn, have the easy manner of a couple who have grown very comfortable with each other , 1arried for manv ,ears. the Thayer<; re,eai° their concern for each other in their livng interactions: Mrs Thayer in the gentle
married life. So what is the message of sexuality in marriage? It is in part a message about the for possibilities human growth in this very basic dimension of life. It is a message that sexuality in mar· riage is tied to the broader context of the intimacy a couple can keep growing in. It is a message that sexuality in marriage is a link to a couple's greater understanding. compassion and care for each other.
way she encourage,, her somewhat senile husband to take a walk down a long familiar patb; Thayer in the touching way he hurries back to the comfort of his wife after lost getting momentarily on his walk in the woods. For the viewer, the Thayers provide a touching portayal of two people who know that living intimately ,.;th each other is worth the difficult moments along the way. Their relationship IS a vivid example of what intimacy in marrtage
The Record, September 22, 1988
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Sir, For the benefit of Sunbury MLA David Smith and his concern (The Record, September 15) for the return of taxation to the family wage-earner or his spouse, family allowances were 4.2 per cent of the 1976 LiberalCountry Party 1976 Budget: they are now two per cent and falling as they are progressively phased out under our present government. Now, in this era of Equi-Opp-ing, affirmation of women's rights, family planning and Medicare funded abortion, family allowances are being phased out for the 65 per cent mainstream, middleclass Australian families. Thus they now lag by 95 per cent on CPI. To restore their value an injection of billion is required out of the $5.5 billion which Treasur r Paul Keating expects to s im off the growth of taxation this coming year and earmar d to r uc the national ov rdraf , policy of p y th bank r and n gl ct t Austral! n, much ne d, b hi $
from John VESZELY, Noll. mara
SITUATIONS WANTED
2
Bicentennial People by excess of births over deaths with the expectation that before the end of the 45 years there will be no excess and the Bicentennial People will be in decline - more dying than dinkum perhaps. By contrast, in the 25 years following Arthur Calwell's 1947 dictum of "populate or perish", our population doubled with natural increase contributing 60 per cent and immiqration only 40 per cent of the vigorous growth of that period. Australian families av raged over three children, encouraged and assisted by child endowm nt which at one time reached the high level of 18 p r cent of the basic wage. It was a p riod of national prosperity illustrating the view that children ar a nation's real wealth and th ir begetting and u brinqir; ma the dollar roll to promote that alth Still, why orry about horn produc chil ren since import, ap r ntly re dlly, ov rs as; but not r adilv rom Euro an sourc s as mo Euro n countn s r fac with pro lems of ul non d elm Ultam t ly th choi conf in to Third orld p or Australian m t rn I
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YOUTH FORUM 0
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September 22, 1
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THE YOUNG SCENE Colleen McG iness-How rd by
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A ookatboo s - music - art
•
by COLLEE cGUINESS-HOWARD
Tire's tour an Austra ia first for our Bicentennial OURA SSIE am
�THE
PAT
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by TOM BR NCH
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MIRRABOOKA ADORATIO
MARIAN CALENDAR
Perpetual adoration of the Blessed Sacra ent com me ced on the eve of the Assumption of Our lady at St Gerard Majella Church, c r Rave swood Drive and Majella Road, Balga (parish of Mirrabooka) and over 300 volu teers from he parish are keepinq a 24 hour continuous devotion which is open to the public. For further information p ase contact Jo evrick, the co-ordinator, 344 3542, or the presbytery
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