The Record Newspaper 06 October 1988 by The Record

'A: October 6, 1988

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• Read all about this iest and his 'n w adventure' on pages 6 and 7

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feminin ' . n this en ar het of woman. Ill. GE AND L KE ESS OF GOD

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MULIERIS DIG !TATEM FOR THE MARIAN YEAR Woman becomes with Christ, in a prophetic manner, the living subject and irreplaceable witnes of the great works a complished by God for the sake of all humanity.

VI. MOTHERHOOD - VIRGINITY

VII. THE CHURCH - SPOUSE OF CHRIST

Of fundamental importance in this regard are the words of the Letter to the Ephesians (5: 25-32), in which the spousal character of the love between man and woman is referred to the mystery of Christ and the Church: Christ is the Spouse of the Church, the Church is the Spouse of Christ. This analogy, which is not without precedents in the Old Testament, goes simultaneously in two directions which make up the whole of the ' great mystery": the covenant proper to p u es explains the spousal haracter of Christs union with the Church, and in its turn this union decide the sacramentality of marriag betw een man and woman. n the fam us text of Eph ians th hu band i exhort d to m e his own in is � lation hip 'th hi wife, th t ' of Chri t in dealing \ rith th h h. Th

of Christ the Bridegroom vis-a-vis the Church the Bride this b me clear and univocal when the sacramental service of the Eucharist, in which the priest acts ' in persona Christi ', is carried out by the male. The Second Vatican Council renewed awarene that all the baptised both men and women, share in the one prie thood of Christ by sharing in his priestly, prophetic and ro -al mission. This is the wa 'in which the Church the Bride responds with a sin ere gift of elf to the inexpre ible love of the Bridegroom, the Redeemer of the \ orld. Thus one understands hov r if the Church po e ses a hierarchical structure, this is nev erthele totall ordered to the holine of Chri t ' members. For th' rea n a Chu h in e hepr de e, one on the path to holin . The Church · at th me time arian and toli P trine.

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Forgiveness can be a healer

Susannah tried not to hang on too tight as she cuddled her two-year· old daughter, Elizabeth, in her arms and rocked in the old rocking 'chair. It was the same chair whose arms always seemed just the right height to support her easily as she held a child. Susannah rocked and patted Elizabeth's sofi bah} hair that was barely long enough lo curl when the} tried lo

encourage

its

natural

wave. Bui she could no longer sing. Every hme she opened her mouth to sing the songs she knew Elizabeth loved lo hear, tears came lo her eyes again. Th } rolled out, and when she closed her eyes lo ,top them, her cheek touched the top or Elizabct h' head and she hugged her even harder "\\'here' dadd) ?" Elizabeth u ked in a voice that uned lo ee ho confidenr e that her mother would know the answer. "J don't know, sweetheart," Susannah aru w ered a., she lei the tears

"I don't know, darling," came the reply. Susannah thought about the swirl or events and emotions the last few weeks had brought. There had been the argument with Bill. Over nothing or great imperlance, it nonetheless had unmasked a lot or very deep feelings that had remained unspoken for

years.

Then Bill had lefi She could still rsmember thinking how sillv he looked walking up tha dark street with two heavy suitcases al an hour when most or the town was asleep and the night bus would not arrive for hourv, Funnv how she had thought something so in< onsequential in the midst or her confusion and rage. And then sh did not know where he was. He did not call th next morning. . or at all for vevarnl " k., There were no answers to give Elizabeth or her brothers. Only pain lo be shared.

pain. It was there constantly, beginning with the utter emptiness she felt upon waking in the morning. It went away only after she fell asleep, always with difficulty, at the end of day. But fortunately for Susannah, there were some people who could listen and did not become uncomfortable when she told of her despair and self-doubt and rage. As time passed Bill returned. With the help of their pastor, the} talked Thev talked and talked. · They argued. They cried. The couple saw how thev had hurt each other in· so many wavs. How each had lac:J..ed understanding, patience and acceptance of the oth r How each had been unable to tell the other the th�ught nd

By Suzanne E. ELSESSER feeling that would have helped strengthen their Left relationship. unspoken, the same thoughts and feelings had undermined them. They remembered the good of the past, but somehow the commit· ment to the future was not there. It was hard for them to understand why but ii was just not there anymore. Susannah and Bill separated again. This time for good. But no" there was something

different happening to Susannah. She cried. She felt emptiness. The questions the children asked were difficult. Feeling so alone was unbearable. Then, slowly, after hours of conversation with her pastor and others who could not make the pain go away, but who could try to understand ii. Susannah began to experience a sense of forgive ness, and she allowe God's healing to com,

r.omn and softlv ran her

rnarnages,

he had f ed And h was in rnv office in a diocesan marnage court to In to make sense of that..

A YOUNG MAN in an expensive pinstriped suit bounced athleti· cally up the stairs to my office and introduced

He is not alone in that attempt. Toda} 40 per cent or more of mar-

riages in the United States end in divorce. Last vear more than 40.000 annulment penlions were presented lo US Catholic marriage courts. Like the young man, thousands of mdividuals and couples - indeed all of us - are faced with

How is the Church in the l nited States addressing the reality of marriage f · [ure? I would like to give one example of what we are doing because ,t svmbolises what the Church IS growing more and more concerned about healing. I refer here to the work of diocesan marriage tribunals. or courts, and how they trv to brmg healing to the individual, and families afferted by divorce. Diocesan courts hear petitions for annulment of marriage. They have the power to grant annulments when the

trus:.

His mother is sterile, but she is visited by an angel of the Lord, (signifying the Lord's presence), who assures her that she will bear a son. Moreover, she is to consecrate the child to the Lord by the Nazirite vow. never to cut his hair and to abstain from all intoxicants. Despite that, Samson turned out lo be a scamp. Much to the chagrin of his family, he took a fancy to a Philistine girl. The Philistines at the time were oppressing the Israelites, threatening to wipe them out. Overriding his parents' tearful pleas, Samson prevailed upon them to

arrange the marriage. But even here the sacred historian discerned the hand of God. " 'ow the father and mother did not know that this had been brought about by the Lord, who was providing an opportunity against the Philistines."

On the way to arrange the marriage, a young lion attacked Samson, but ''the spirit of the Lord came upon Samson, and although he had no weapons he tore the lion to pieces." Later, at the wedding banquet, he proposed a riddle to 30 young Philistines, promising them 30 tunics and robes if they solved it before the week was up. After three days, they intimidated Samson's bride into prying the answer from him.

8 The Record, October 6, 1988

By Fr J Castelot When Samson refused, she resorted to a fail-safe strategy: She cried for the rest of the honeymoon. Then Samson gave her the answer. But now Samson had to keep his part of the bargain. So he killed 30 Philistines and gave their clothes to the youths. That ended not only the honeymoon but the mar· riage. After Samson cooled down, he asked to have his bride back, but now she belonged to someone else. Enraged, he set fire to the Philistines' crops. Captured and bound, he broke the bonds, found a handy jawbone from the carcass of an ass and slew a thousand Philistines. Later Samson took up with Delilah. And the

Philistine lords promised Delilah a huge sum of money if she would learn the secret of Samson's strength. So none too subtly, she besieged Samson, saying: "Tell me the secret of your strength and how you may be bound so as to be kept helpless." Three times he gave false answers. Finally he could stand her nagging no longer and admitted: "No razor has touched my head for I have been consecrated to God from my mother's womb. If I am shaved, my strength will leave me." Lulling him to sleep, DeWah informed the Philistines who summoned a barber who did his work. ow even DeWah could push Sam· son around. The Philistines took Samson captive and

Tho breaJ.. up of a marnagc almost alwa creates wounds. It can undermine th spo elf confidence, It can Ii nate people, leaving the divorced individual

The role • marriage tribunals can play extends to a pastoral concern for the people involved. The process attempts to help people

gouged out his eyes. They bound him and put him to grinding grain in a prison. The invincible giant was broken - but not permanently. For his hair grew back and with it his strength returned. One day when a vast crowd gathered to worship the Philistine god, Dagon, Samson was forced to amuse them by playing the fool. The place was jammed. :rhere were even 3,000 spectators on the temple

roof.

Manoeuvring himself between the two main supporting pillars of the structure, Samson pushed with all his might and brought the temple down on his enemi and on himself - and Samson went down in sacred history as a divinely empowered champion of the people of God

feeling like an outsider in his or her own family and church and community. A divorce can

Theoung man in my offioquicklv lost the appeanre or confidenoas he began to reoo the dis.solution of marriage, His shoiers sagged, his voi · tened ancl hls e lstened as, for I be first me. h reco ted event "hat he and "ife had hcen thro,h.

In a mid.

marriages.

\\'hat's more, we are mg the need to help married couples enrich their relationship. And we more and more recognise tho need to provide real support to newly married couples as they djust to marned livmg - an adjustment many find difficult.

n to gath ring

purpose to help behind him d hi, him. t is an impert,ml todav. \\e are tr}11 to heal the wo�s that are so much a M ii the break of a

than

g \\

Finally, we recogmse that C\ en with our best efforts there will be divorce and men and women needing us and our help.

Dodlis m n beh f m the pnanence of marnage, any l trong1 a, 1 tall Th lifelong uni ii a man and wm11m mar · th Catbic deal But the atteq at h ng mean that are working In deal what happens in ell "hen the Christian and human � do not mesh.

That Apnl morr. zg we brought that support to one young man as he began the difficult pro· cess of movmg toward the future with his sense or self renewed,

Div brings thP gap bet human reality and tnstian ideal into our in an espeoallJioquent, personal and, ,..,rful way. 'one of u bas to look far

1 hi, 1 not an art easilv learned: honouring the ideal while also dealing with the human situation that exists. But learning that pastoral art ha, become an important part of the US church's attempt to bring healing to people who find themselv in situations of divorce.

There had been tears. And shouts. Bitter words were exchanged. She still could remember thinlling how silly he l!)Olled wall!· ing up the darll street with two lreavy suitcases at an lrour wlren most of the town was asleep. And now sire did not llnow wlrere Ire was.

Divorc 1n the parish •

Samson an unlikely hero

Samson was a most unlikely agent of the spirit of the Lord not that he didn't have auspicious beginnings in the spiritual account.

before we sec its effects. As a result, in the Church todav, rnanv people - blshops, clergy, religious and laity - are working hard lo prepare couple , h fore they for good marry,

also mage the ability to

vtdence indicates a marriage IS mvnlid. But todav the concern does not end with questions of validity It

the need to deal with the failure nf so many

forefinger o�er the smooth sk in of her daughti 's arm "\\ hen's he c.omin home. mummv? ..

That dav how ver he had taken time from his successful business to talk about failure. In the most important venture in his life, his marriage,

By Father David K. O'ROURKE, OP

understand their mar· nage failure so the can look to the future 10 a positive way,

himself with a strong handshake. With his stylish dress, confident manner and blonde good looks, he was an image of a winner.

from allowing herself to forgive - and to be forgiven.

Jesus talked so much of forgiveness, she remembered. And God's healing came to Susannah, not from understanding completely what had happened or from ignoring the depth of her feelings. Healing came

When Aline Coghlan first started to work full-time at St John the Baptist parish most people who sought her services as as pastoral counsellor were having trouble with their child· ren. That has changed dramatically in the past decade.

Today Mrs Coghlan finds most people come to her because of marital problems. Most often a husband or wife approaches her saying. "I can't stand it any more!"

Often in their 40s and

50s, many of these people say they either want to separate from a mate or are in the process of a divorce.

Because so many people wait to seek aid until a severe breakdown has occurred in their rela-

tionship, Mrs Coghlan finds she seldom is able to help these people repair their marriage. Another sign of the times, Mrs Coghlan finds, rs the rising number of separated and divorced people who attend various parish functions. She says there are always divorced people who participate in parish workshops unless the workshop is for couples only.

Her personal experience as a pastoral counsellor is borne out by the sobering statistics on divorce. Today there are six million divorced Catholics in the United States, according to Paulist Father Jam Young. rector or the Pa ulist Centre m Washington. DC.

By Katharine BIRD

result,

many

erishes are making a peciaJ effort to

serve

l\'Orced Catholics. Some arishes provide the 'rvices of counsellors. �her parishes sponsor Pecial support-group for the ieelings ivorced. In 1979 there were 500 hapters of the orth unerican Conference of •JlQrated and Divorced :Otholics in the United tates and Canada, CCording to statistics �Pplied by Father ocng, one of its iunders. Like Alcoholics AnoYmous or Weight Vatchers, Father Young 0ints out, one dimrced erson is in an excellent ,osilion to help others -

challenging them to frnd hope and to begin the slow process of building a new future for theJTLselvcs. At St John the Baptist parish, the chapter's monthly meetings usually attract a full house, 25-60 people each time. The meetings offer separ· ated and divorced people a place to go as they begin the slow adjustment to life as a single person rather than part of a c:ouple, Mrs Coghlan

comments.

Mrs Coghlan finds the anguish divorced per· sons go through leaves them vulnerable and afraid. Faced with the breakup of their mar· nagcs, most people feel guilty and a tremendous

sense of loss. They "wonder how people will judge them and whether they will be accepted."

Father Young thinks that Catholics ofien find them.selves in conflict because getting a divorce doesn't fit in with their traditional values about the permanence of marriage. He finds divorced Catholics hunger for a fellow parishioner or a priest to say, "I understand . . . I know how hard it must have been." Mrs Coghlan thinks Christians need to "be ready to listen" and to let divorced person know we still care for them and accept them. Sometimes, especially when people are trying to help friends, Mrs Coghlan suggests that sharing a difficult per-

sonal experience of our own can help the other. This is effective, she says, because, it tells the other person, "I made it - you will too." Mrs Coghlan offered an intriguing observation. She thinks many people shape their view of God according to their experience with others. We look at the way other people are treating us and we tend "lo feel God is treating us the same

way," she says.

If that is so, the kind of experience a divorced person has with others in the Church is important. If a person's relationships with other people are close and warm then, by and large, the relation· ship with God will seem that way too, the counsellor asserts.

Failure cornrnon

the theologian com· of couples experiencing mented that he ofien some common marriage reminds divorced per- marital difficulties - the sons that everyone in the misuse of alcohol, trou· Christian community bles ,vith sexual compat· can pomt to some expe- ibilit}, problems with rience of failure in their emotional relationships. lives. Father Braxton said he Everyone, he continued would ask the group of emphatically, from the adults to discuss each "modest lay person to the case history. He said he pope, sees the tension would use the case between the noblest histories to stimulate a Christian ideals and their discussion of why mariD.C. own failures. All of us are tal breakdown occws From his experience in striving with the same and what this means to parish work, Father Christian ideals, with the church community, Braxton finds that many varying degrees of to individuals and their divorced Catholics, frus- success." families and to society. trated by the rupture in Asked how he would An adult discussion their marital hand, feel as set about discussing could cover many if "God and Christ and divorce with a group of aspects of marriage and other Christians think adults, Father Braxton divorce, Father Braxton less of them." commented that it is a remarked, including; Therefore, in counsel· little like opening Pando- why people marry; what ling anguished divorced ra's box because the topic the Church's under· persons, he said he works is so complicated standing of the sacrahard to convince them In practice, the theolo- ment of marriage is; that this is a misconcep- gian indicated, he most whether a particular tion on their part. likely would approach couple believes marriage During an interview in the topic by writing up is a permanent covenant his Washington office, five or six case histories between two people.

The worst thing divorced persons can do is separate themselves from the spiritual nour· ishment a Christian community can offer, says Father Edward K. Braxton. This priest of the Archdiocese of Chicago sened during four years as the personal theologian for Archbishop James Hickey of Washington,

The Record, October 6, 1988

Funeral Director. Wanneroo

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Cnr. ann roo d and Bu gham Dve

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aureen J well, Executive Offic r of Ca lie Car.

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tho e with intellectual di abilitie and their famili , 'and its roots are ve much in the hurch and its thru t or th welfare of thes [ev ell. pie" said

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James was bapti ed at Our Lady Help of Chri tian on October 2. God Parents: Tam on Heard from England and Phillip Branch.

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NOTICE

The life of FREDERIC OZANAM founder of the Society of St Vincent de Paul is told in APOSTLE IN A TOP HAT ($2.95)

va ilab e fro

THANKS

Ca ho ic

t ol

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to the Editor

a from Paul Sheridsn, Bassendean

Srr Th articl on commun I non "P thways" (Th R cord, S ptemb r 29 would be h I f ul o th coupl having pro I m • yet rt was sad that pr r, orship and God were not mention untrl the last paragraph, and then only becau e they "seemed to play an important rol m marital satlsfaction " T re rs a growing mrsund rstandrng today of marriage itself Marriage 1s a Sacram nt, so the help n eded to make a marrrage work can only come from God, so the rmportance of God in a marriage should never come before such

f from

11 £

Irene Gravdal Carnarvon '

Sir, God's own Mother, has t en the trouble on so many occa ions durmg a period of ov r on hundred years to warn us that unk am nd our lives and di what She comma d. , th most unspea ahle punishm nt, th though that mad Her weep, and which Sh can no

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Obviously ttu do sn't m n that couples hould disregard compatrbilitv Oun the opposrte Ev n though th ntrr s non of Pathways of the Spirit as devoted to marital probl ms last w ek, rt se ms strang that the srngle most important aid in marr ag , the very lrfe blood of mama e itself, re. God's grace, was not even mentioned once.

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Add PRE TIGE and VALUE to your home

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I YOUTH FORUM 1h1\it\ 1hi\1hi

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CATHOL C PARISH YOUTH MEMBERS REMEMBER BAPTISM Left: CPY

haste ed in summer days with water fight. C ris Parish stood still nd co ed lot from n t

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Welcome to the next w ial

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THE SOCIAL SCENE

Fa her K • • or inatio

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Colleen McG iness-Howar

osephites gat er fo Ase bly

WHAT'SON

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Colleen McGuiness-Howard

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ST JOSEPH'S PARISH O ALBA y I T E B BURY DI CESE requires a

L TILE SISTERS A charity da ce in aid of Lit e Sisters of the Poor will be he d on October 15, 8-12pm, at Morley Commu ity Centre, Watter Road oriey. 1ickets $10. raffles, spot prizes, byo supper a d drinks. For tickets ri g 409 9737, 44 7 3454 or 409 1970. Me bour e Cup L . c eon: n aid of the Little Si ers of he Poor, is to be he d at Holy Spirit C urch al , City B ch, on ove ber 1. Tickets $15. Fo ickets p ne 341 1495. azaar: o be d at e Little Sisters of Poor ome G e alough t 1 pm, Saturda/ ovember 12.

AJELLA 30th BIRTHDAY The annual St Gerard's ass to be held on Tuesday, Octo er 18, at 8pm, in the Redemptorist Church, orth Perth is a very specia 30th Anniversary ass. All wou s are urged o encourage e r prese t a d past members to attend and also extend a specia · nvitation o their rish priest or chaplain o co ce e rate with onsiqnor Keati g. T e eve ing will comme ce at 7.30pm with the Ju ia Singers in attendance. T e us al s pper a ra gee ts will apply: a les to bring two ates per car oad a d ese may e eliver prior o Mass to e su per oo or ch re .

LOREAT GREGO

30 Hours) Applications are invited from interested persons ho have good knowledge and some experience of Youth organisations. The applicant would be:

Archdiocesan ·· Calendar

• A pr. cti ing Catholic • Be able to work as part of a t am • Be ava1labl to work for two years • Co mitted to the eeds of you g peopl , a d • Have th ir own v icle a d a A & B class icens .

Job description details are available from Carol O'Connor at the Youth Office 098-416063. Closing date for applications is the 4th of ovember, 1988, and should include references o:

October 9 75th anniversary of Parish of Goomalr g. on ·gnor Keating. 13 Council of Priests' eeti g. 4 Confirmation and Visitation, Fremantte. Bi op Healy. 15 Oiocesa Pastoral Council eet·ng. Bi op Healy. Ma for the Feast of the Vi ame Martyrs. grKeatJ g. 16 Confirma on a d Blessi g of Parish Centre, Osborne Park Bi op I ealy. 18 Ho pice Service. St ark's Cathedral. Bi op Hea y. Ma" I n a for Fea of St Gerard, Redemptorist Church. o sig or Keating.

SPEC AL

Confirmation

and

Pari h Priest

Catholic Presbytery

berdeen Street. A bany 6330.

cese

V itation,

Belmo t/lR cf . a· op H ty. Confirm non and V itation. lvil . ti g. Mon· n r

20 21

anagernent Cornrnitte 26 27

ar to

28 29 30

Mori y.

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SEPT 29-0CT 8, 1989 •:•.

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The El�ctorate of Marangaroo embraces the Parishes of Our Lady of ercy Girra n n which represents the suburbs of Marangaroo, Koonaoots, Al and r Height and Balla1ura. MaJella Pansh represents Balga. St Gerard' Part h represents both Balga and Mirrabooka. OFF CE

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