The Need To Change Vs. The Need To Control

The Need To Change Vs. The Need To Control

There is another factor which hinders us from realizing the needed change in our life. This factor is due to the conflict between our need to change and the need to be always in control. There are many reasons why people won’t accept a new concept or new technology. It is because they feel they are out of control with the new concept or technology. There is always that accompanying risk of losing control every time we want to change. To change an old habit, one has to let go of the old habit in favor of a new one. To become independent, one has to let go of one’s dependency on other people. But most of us are control-freaks and don’t want to get out of our comfort zones. Problem happens when parents seem to be incapable of letting go of the childhood perception of their children. Likewise, problem occurs whenever an adult person can’t seem to let go of his/her dependency on her parents. In order to grow, one needs to let go of the old ways to pave the way for novel ways. Growth entails the ability to risk losing control. If one can’t be at peace with the prospect of losing a bit of control, one often tends to avoid change.

There are many instances in nature wherein we are taught that the old forms should be given up to pave the way for newer beautiful forms. The caterpillar has to let go of its squirming worm-form in order to achieve its lovely butterfly form. Even in the spiritual realm, “one has to die to oneself to be born to eternal life,” and this dying to oneself is the surest way to achieve spiritual nirvana according to the wise men such as Jesus and Buddha. If we don’t let go of the old form in favor of the novel form, we will never achieve substantial change. The concept of change always entails a certain loss of the old self in favor of a new self. Without understanding this risk, one will never become ready to open up to change.

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