“Love bombs” away: How excessive attention manipulation

BY ELLEN NANGIA @DailyWildcat

“I want to give you so much love. It’s so nice to think that this could be forever. You’re my human. This is special or we wouldn’t keep coming back.”

If you’ve ever heard something similar, maybe you forgave him for the fifth time in two years because he totally cares about you, right?

Love bombing has been a term flooding the internet in recent years and causing people to reevaluate the love they have experienced. It can be described as excessive amounts of attention, adoration and affection with an undertone of manipulation and narcissism, according to a 2022 Banner Health article.

According to the definition, love bombing is typically seen in a dating relationship. But as we enter a time defined by “situationships” and hookup culture, love bombing can still give someone control while they simultaneously avoid the commitment that comes with standard relationships.

Tori Parks, a senior at the University of Arizona studying psychology, has experienced love bombing first-hand. She didn’t recognize the manipulation until she was considering breaking up with her boyfriend of nine months.

“It’s a form of manipulation. It’s a cycle of giving you everything, then nothing. To be someone who love bombs is to be strategic,” Parks said.

While Parks agrees with the Banner Health article that love bombing is an active form of manipulation, some think it may be tied to the trend of young adults being disinterested in commitment.

Josie Phillips, a UA senior, has been through it all when it comes to complicated relationships. She thinks college relationships are hard, especially during a time when a lot of change is occurring.

“College is just full of a lack of commitment, at least with people our age. I’ve dated older men too, but it seems like those guys just want full commitment and for me to be ready to have kids in a couple of years,” Phillips said.

So how could someone have it all while investing nothing? This could be where love bombing comes into play, according to a Psychology Today article on the motivations behind the act.

Someone could keep their nonpartner in arms reach by making false promises and sharing loving words to keep the other person interested enough to stay. An “exclusive situationship” is what Parks called it.

From her own experience, Parks described how it felt like the good always outweighed the bad. The fun was worth being torn down because it was temporary to the feelings she felt towards him. Once Parks was aware of the love bombing efforts, she still managed to find herself inclined to call him.

“I started craving it so I would be the one calling. I’m so ashamed of that,” Parks said.

PsychCentral points out that an effect of being love bombed is behaving in a way one normally wouldn’t, such as putting a partner’s needs above their own because they feel like they somehow owe it to them. Love bombing can be linked to narcissistic personality disorders and emotional abuse.

When we talk about it this way, it becomes a more significant topic among today’s young adults as mental health has been an increasing concern in recent years.

As a psychology student, Parks explained the lack of commitment as possibly being due to the excess of dopamine in our lives, leading to an impatient lifestyle where people want everything at a moment’s notice. Social media and party culture help us meet a variety of people, but Parks added that we weren’t supposed to see this many people in our lifetime, which could contribute to the trendy disinterest in commitment.

As the dating world continues to change in this ever-evolving world, just make sure to watch for bombs.

“LOVE