THE OBSERVER

YOU CAN’T HAVE HOLLAND WITHOUT AMSTERDAM

Mrs. Observer and I hit the road recently for a late summer vacation that we could have used about two months earlier. Trips for June and July were unexpectedly canceled and we were left wiling away most of the summer in scorching hot Arkansas waiting for our time to get away.

When the date finally arrived, we loaded up the car to the brim and made our way up to Michigan. It’s too far for us to drive in a day, so we stopped in Champaign, Illinois. It might be a nice town, but I wouldn’t know. All I saw was our Holiday Inn Express and the Subway sandwich shop where we ate dinner.

The next day we made it to our destination: Holland, Michigan. Never heard of it? Most people haven’t. It’s a small, interesting town in southwestern Michigan that sits on Lake Michigan. The town’s Dutch influence is everywhere. Like Deboer Bakkerij (that’s “bakery”) and Van Wieren Hardware. There’s even a wooden shoe factory and a tulip festival.

Thanks to Michigan’s legalization of recreational marijuana in 2018, the area is also home to another Dutch staple: marijuana. A billboard for a dispensary read: “You can’t have Holland without Amsterdam.” Clever.

To be fair, the dispensary wasn’t in Holland but a town not far away. My visit there was my first time in a dispensary. The smell, of course, hit me as soon as I opened the door. Two young men behind computers took down all my information before I could enter. I’m not sure why. I suppose legalized recreational marijuana isn’t yet on the level of legalized Budweiser. Or maybe I should say Amstel Light, to keep with our Dutch theme.

I perused some samples of marijuana flower while an employee took Mrs. Observer around the store. I smelled each jar of bud to see if I could detect the flavor notes indicated on the accompanying signage. I’m not exactly a cannabis sommelier, but I did notice some jars had a stronger smell than others.

The budtender helping Mrs. Observer described all the products in the glass case and answered all of our questions before we settled on a few items. We paid with a debit card because, well, who has cash anymore? And the dispensary can’t take credit cards because of federal restrictions.

A few days later, I found myself stressed to the gills. Who gets stressed out on vacation? I do, apparently. So, I asked Mrs. Observer if I ought to try one of the cannabis mints we bought at the dispensary.

I decided to go for it. You should know this was a big step for me. I grew up pretty conservative, studied religion in school for way too long and lived on the Quiet Lifestyle floor in college. Yes, that’s a real thing. And, yes, I lived there.

I took a 2.5 mg mint. Basically, a baby dose, but it was plenty for me. Within no time, I was relaxing on the couch and reading a book. A little while later, I found myself curling up for a nap. In no time at all, I had calmed down and found a little peace. When I woke up, I noticed my legs weren’t quite as sore from all the running I had been doing each morning. Whether cannabis alleviated some soreness or it was psychosomatic, I don’t really care. I just liked that my legs were feeling better.

What’s also interesting to me is what my experience didn’t include. My vacation didn’t turn into a Cheech & Chong movie. I didn’t find my 2.5 mg mint to be a “harmful drug,” as Governor Hutchinson described marijuana recently. I took a nap. Is that harmful?

A couple of days later, we packed up and headed back to Arkansas. We discussed how we can’t wait to make a return trip to our pseudoDutch beachtown. Maybe next time, I’ll try something else from the dispensary.

In a way, I guess it’s kind of cool that this kid from the Quiet Lifestyle floor can always say he had his first cannabis experience in Holland. It’s not quite Amsterdam, but almost.