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One Thing’s for Sure. I’m Going Running.
Written by: Kristi Stolzenberg
I used to consider myself a fairly rational person. Then the day came when I started having conversations like this with myself,
“It isn’t raining that hard.”
“The wind is coming out of the east, so I’ll just change up my route to keep the wind out of my face as much as possible. It’s fine. I’ll be fine.”
“Is it hailing? Yep. It’s hailing. Well, I’m already out; might as well finish.”
“Gotta get out there early before the heat index hits triple digits.”
And, the one that gets the most eye roll from my husband, “My hip/calf/foot isn’t feeling too bad today, I think I can run on it.”
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FEATURE STORY PROVIDED BY MILITARY ONESOURCE
What sane person subjects themselves to the elements and physical pain like that? What sane person runs when nothing is chasing them? Well, me, I guess — and, if you’re reading this, you. Do I love running? Not really. Most of the time I only mildly like it, but I like what it offers:
It’s an amount of time I can listen to any music I want. Have a seat, kid-friendly, G-rated movie soundtracks.
It’s an amount of time I am alone with my thoughts. I can plan, study, talk myself through a problem, calm myself down, or take out aggression on the pavement.
I control the pace.
I control the distance.
I control the route.
I control my body. It does not control me.
The running theme (see what I did there) is that — when it comes to running — I’m in control. For roughly 30-60 minutes, I’m not just a person who things happen to. I am what’s happening. I don’t mean that to sound narcissistic, but rather realistic. In these lives we’re “leading,” so much is out of our control. If there was any doubt about that, spring 2020, and COVID-19 reminded us all.
None of the changes and disappointments from earlier this year were particularly jarring to me or my fellow military spouses. A personal favorite meme born in the era of Coronavirus read, “Some of y’all have never had your plans canceled by the government, and it shows.” Disappointment is just a fact in the life of a military spouse. I’d love to say we’re immune to it, but we aren’t — I don’t think anyone can ever really become immune to something like that, the gut punch startles us no matter how much we were expecting it. Although, I don’t think anyone could have expected the effects of COVID-19. We just get better at reacting, coping, plugging into our resources and setting more realistic expectations next time.
Of course, sometimes we need more support than family, friends and feet on the pavement can provide. For those times, we have one of those other constants of military life: Military OneSource. Military OneSource is literally always there, 24/7, no matter where in the world you are. It’s funded by the Department of Defense and staffed by master-level consultants who get military life and can help people like you and me over the bumps and potholes in the road. Oh, and did I mention that it’s free?
As they say, you can’t control everything that happens in life, but you can control how you respond. That might mean picking up the phone to call Military OneSource or logging on for a live chat. Though if you’re like me, you might want to wait until after your daily run.
While the first half of 2020 was far from the only time I’ve ever personally had my heart broken by circumstances, it was a firm reminder that I can live under certain assumptions, make my pretty plans, make travel reservations, and let hopes run unbridled, but I’m not nearly as special as my grandma led me to believe. The world doesn’t owe me a thing, and it certainly doesn’t revolve around me. We are small and running reminds us that small can still be powerful.
Throughout the years of waiting on deployments to begin and end, waiting on orders, ripping up orders when they change at the last minute, my certainty was running. While tearing my kids and myself away from home after home and starting all over again, I found familiarity in running. When running through the tears of losing friends and family members, I taught myself to grieve and move forward simultaneously through the very literal act of crying it out on a run. As time sends me little reminders that it’s marching through aches and pains, I remind myself just what I’m capable of by pushing through.
Running is my preferred means of physical torture — err, fitness — and it’s also my “me” time, my time where no one is demanding anything of me, my time to square off against the elements and the voice inside my head claiming to be too tired or not strong enough. It’s my mental wellness, my church, my grounding, and my pick-me-up.
So much in military life is uncertain — if we’re being fair to civilians, so much in life in general is uncertain. Nothing is guaranteed. Nothing is promised. The world doesn’t care about our ideas for the day or the next decade. I’d like to pepper in some unicorns and rainbows at this point, but I’m not a go-with-the-flow type. I’m a rigid, unforgiving, Type-A planner who can hold a mean grudge. So, in the absence of the happy ending that I cannot promise myself, I’m choosing to focus on what I can control. That promise means one thing is for sure: I’m going running.
No matter what happens today, I’m going running. No matter how busy I am, I will spare 30 minutes for myself and my health. No matter what, I will remember my to-do list can wait. I will accept that some things cannot be solved, but endured, and if I’m enduring anything, I’d rather finish with a runner’s high than a run that should have been. Even if it’s slow. Even if it’s trailing my kids on their bikes — I’ll be putting in miles, inhaling bugs, and earning those watchband tan lines. See you on the road.
